Skwisgaar spent half a day waiting for Toki to get back from his meeting with Ofdensen. He caved in by evening and went to look for the brunette, he figured he might be in the living room or even the kitchen, but instead found Nathan.

"Have you seen Toki?"

"No"

"Didn't he have a meeting with Ofdensen?"

Skwisgaar still wanted to know what the meeting was about, it wasn't really any of his business, but Toki had been avoiding answering his questions when he'd asked about it.

"Yeah I guess, you haven't seen him around?"

"No" The blond haired man replied feeling awkward.

Nathan grunted

"So do you know what the meeting was about?"

"He didn't tell you? Weird, yeah about him hearing dead people in his head. I guess it's getting really bad, I told him he needed to tell Ofdensen cause when this shit happens we're supposed to talk to him about it."

"Voices?"

This was news.

"Yeah, like I guess when people die he collects their souls. I don't know, talk to him about it. I figured he fucking told you already, he's probably in his room."

"Right, thanks Nathan"

The guitarist left, he took the singer's advice and made his way to the rhythm guitarist's bedroom. Voices, he heard voices of dead people; why hadn't he told him about this?

Why the hell did Nathan know about it?

Skwisgaar was still trying to grasp onto the fact that Magnus had raped him, but he felt like this was something else he should know...Why did he have to know, Toki didn't owe him anything; he didn't even have to tell him about what Magnus had done to him. Skwisgaar was lucky that his friend still talked to him at all, he still felt guilty as shit. He wanted to do anything he could to make him feel comfortable with him, he wanted his friend back to the way he used to be, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. Now he was filled with the fear he'd just keep falling and there would be a rock bottom somewhere and he wouldn't make it out alive.

He tried to not think about that, but after catching him cutting himself he had to worry. Now he was learning so much else, he was amazed he was holding on as well as he at least seemed to be. Toki chose to repress instead of to deal with things; none of them really helped with that. When he'd been a teenager they taught him to just keep shit to himself, brooding was metal, and feelings were gay. They had taken in a sixteen year old run away who had been raised like some sort of animal, thinking back on it they were really not the people fit to take care of somebody. He felt bad about it, he felt bad about an endless list of things.

The bedroom door was unlocked, Toki was curled up on his bed sleeping, or if the pill bottles on the floor were any sign he was in a drug induced sleep. Most of them were empty, most of them were anti depressants or for anxiety or bipolar disorder or the kind you bought from guys in the parking lot of Wal-Mart.

Skwisgaar sat down next to him, he shook him by his shoulder trying to wake him up. The younger man didn't even make a sound or try to move away from him, Skwisgaar wondered just what he had taken and how many. It had to have been some time ago, he was definitely breathing, and he seemed fine. He would be fine, Skwisgaar repeated that to himself until he believed it enough to feel calmer. He climbed into bed lying behind the younger man. He wondered what had been talked about in his meeting with Ofdensen, it had to be bad. Skwisgaar was still confused; he'd only met with the lawyer a couple of times back after their rescue mission. He told him what little he guessed at most and Ofdensen told him what he thought he should know. It wasn't much, nothing new; he was descended from Odin and his purpose was mostly to breed. He wasn't really doing his job anymore, he knew there were other parts to it and it wasn't like reproducing was going to stop the world from succumbing to demons. Besides he had somebody he needed to protect, he didn't care about one night stands.

He wondered how much longer Toki would be asleep for, he thought about throwing the rest of the pills out so he would stop taking them.

He wondered if he should ask him what Ofdensen had said to him, see if he'd tell him the truth. He understood Toki not wanting to tell him certain things, a lot of things, and this was something he understood completely. Though what he did know confused him, he didn't get what Nathan meant; he knew better than to keep pressing the singer for conversation.

Skwisgaar spends a bit of time thinking over what little Nathan had told him, what things he already knew about the rhythm guitarist. He twirled the ends of strands of brown hair around his index finger, before realizing the younger man wouldn't be awake for some time; he wrapped an arm around his waist pulling himself close to Toki's back. It didn't take long for him to succumb to sleep.