L.

Casanova forever and Never

Chapter 11 Reopening the sewn wound

I admit that I'm a horny bastard. I know I am. But just because I know it and admit it doesn't mean I'm going to change. I rubbed the back of my hand in my eyes am groaned as Kagome shifted beside me. She's mad at me; I know it. Normally in the morning when she woke up she'd stretch, sigh a contented sigh then drape her slight frame over mine. Her slender arms would wrap themselves around my neck and she'd lay her head directly over my heart.

None of that happened this morning. She was pissed at the fact that I kicked Sango out of my house last night. To hell with her and what she thought, she never thought about me and what I wanted.

Anyways I rubbed my eyes and sat up in bed. I glanced at the goddess lying beside me with her back turned and shook my head.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do.

"Kagome?" I called, softly. Hell I didn't want to start off on the wrong foot. I lightly tapped her bare shoulder. "Kagome honey." That ought to get her up. I never called her pet names like that.

It worked. She sifted to look at me, her eyes bewildered.

"We need to talk about…about you being pregnant." I stared into her chocolate brown eyes.

"Oh…okay." She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"…I suppose I should…" This was a lot harder than I thought it would be, my heart was racing to fast it was starting to piss me off. "Why do you want to keep the baby?"

She smoothed down her hair and cleared her throat. " Why?" She gingerly rubbed her flat stomach; my eyes trained on her slim fingers.

"It's a baby Inuyasha…" Her voice was soft, filled with something I just couldn't understand.

The room fell silent.

"It's our baby…" Now I got it. It was mothers love. Her voice was filled with the love only a mother could feel for her child.

For some reason my throat closed up. I had a whole goddamn speech prepared in my head; I was going to tell her, explain to her why I didn't want to keep the baby. But the sight right before my stupid eyes made me feel something I never felt before. My girl was sitting there, in my bed wearing a tank top and short shorts rubbing her smooth stomach carrying my child.

My heart fluttered; something it never did. My heart never fucking fluttered for anything.

A warm, fuzzy feeling filled my insides as I gazed at Kagome, the warm morning sun surrounding her like a halo. My voice was lost in my throat. For some idiotic, unexplainable reason I suddenly wanted to keep the kid. I wanted to make Kagome move in with me and get married, I wanted to be a good dad and make a nice little family. I wanted Miroku, the stupid monk to be their godfather and I maybe could even consider the damn bitch Sango to be their godmother; that is if Kagome wanted her to be.

I planned out our future together in my head.

I wanted to be someone I wasn't.

Kagome turned to face me, a wistful look on her angelic face. "Inuyasha?" She whispered, resting her hand atop mine. "Are you okay?"

I felt the ground open up into a dark abyss and fall from beneath me.

And reality came crashing back.

"Kagome honey." I began, my golden eyes locked with hers. "I don't want to keep the baby." I had to set things straight; just because I wanted all those things it doesn't mean I have to have them right now. I ripped this little fucker off like a goddamn band-aide.

"Listen to me." I gripped her chin, forcing her to keep her adverting eyes on me. "Now is not the time to have a kid. Yeah, maybe in the future I'd like kids and maybe even to marry you." A small smile graced her lips for a split second before disappearing. "But not now. Not by accident. I'm not ready to have a baby and I don't want to bring a kid into this world; my world. When I become a dad…when I become a dad I want to be ready for it." I released her chin and looked away. "I don't want to be a shitty dad to a kid that doesn't deserve it." I felt the bed shift beside me. "I can't be responsible for a child right now Kagome, I'm not ready. Maybe you are but I'm not and being a parent shouldn't be a one-man-job. When you have a child, both parents should be willing to take on responsibility for the wellbeing and care of the kid…"

I felt like a real shitty asshole saying that to her but it was the truth. "Kagome…I think I may love you. You. Not the child growing in you." I felt her presence in front of me on the bed; but I hadn't the heart to look at her face because if I did; if I did I'd fucking cave and dig myself a huge hole to lay in. "If in the future you want to get married and have kids then…then okay. I'm fine with it. But not now. Not now Kagome we're still so fucking young and I'm so stupid. You may be ready but hell, I'm not."

I felt the tips of her soft fingers touch my cheek before her soft, plump lips connected with mine. For a split second I felt something inside of me.

I felt a huge weight being lifted off of my shoulders.

"I think your mother would have been proud honey." She spoke, her breath fanning across my lips.

That was fucking wicked.

L.

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