And the next chapter of the Twins' Potter installments... short, but sweet. And if you don't laugh, then shame on me! I'm a horrible author!

Recommended List-En-Eeng

Song: Pretty Fly(For a White Guy)

Artist? The OFFSPRING!

Album:Americana

I like the Offspring. They pretty fly(for a bunch of white guys... haha, get it? ITS A JOKE. A pun? Not likely. A horrible joke? More like it.) But alas, it doesn't matter, anyway. Who actually pays attention to the whole "Recommened Listening" anyway? Well, if you do, how about you make a suggestion? Got a favorite song you want me to base a chapter on, like I do my favorite music? Tell me. I'll totally do it.

Shout outs- To the darling forevermagic, meh editor(remember, beta implies second rate!) Silver Sailor Ganymede, who upon drinking the blood of the darkspawn I sent her out to kill(as well as eating the damnable cookies we evil folk love so much) has given herself to the Dark Side. Me and Clare Stovold welcome you, openly. I'm sure forevermagic does, as well, I just can't speak for her. To all the lazy folk who added this to their "favorites", alerts, or anything else, and most importantly YOU. Yes, I know who you are, and I'm thanking you. PERSONALLY! {(o)} ^ {(O)} See this? This my evil eye, the other one is made of glass, and both are thanking YOU.

Revised Disclaimer- I own nothing, the music included. Remember that well, padawans. ENJOI

"So, what classes we got?"

"Charms with the Gryffindors, Herbology with the Snakes, potions with Hufflepuff, defense against the dark arts with Hufflepuff, history of magic with Gryffindor, Transfiguration with Gryffindor, and Astronomy with Slytherin. Yay us?"

"Put your schedule down and hand me the butter, Bwine," James spoke over a piece of toast.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Brian shot back. "And say please."

"What's your problem?"

"Uh, we didn't go to bed until one in the morning? I don't run well on five hours sleep."

"Brian, you don't run well on twelve hours of sleep."

"Shaddup, Trav."

"Besides, we got to know our roomies better," James pointed out, slurping a cup of orange juice extra loud as Hermione Granger walked by. Smiling at her look of disgust, he winked at her before continuing. "I kinda like that Goldstein guy."

"Who? The tall, orange haired kid?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, look- mail is here!"

Wabbajack flew down from the enchanted ceiling with a note from their? parents. Patting the owl on the beak he tore the letter open.

James Dean, Harry, Brian and Travis:

Well, how are my newest Gryffindors? How are you fitting in with your new school mates? Your mother is worried sick already: "What if they forgot their wands?" or "Who's going to make sure they wear clean clothes? What about bullies? You know Jamie isn't that big…" Don't worry son, I know you can handle anything. You're mother isn't meaning to insult your pride, honest! Just send a letter back asap, so she'll be reassured that you're all just fine.

Regards, J.I.P

"Uh… how do we tell him that we are not in Gryffindor?" Brian asked, a little worried.

"Simple," James answered. Pulling out a pen (he hated quills, and would only use them in class) he began writing a response.

Dear Esteemed Parents,

Ravenclaw house has so far been amazing! The bed sheets are made of satin, which is kinda girly, but I think I can get over that. Details, right? Apparently, our Head of House is really nice. Flitwick, is that his name?

Harry and Ron Weasley made it into Gryffindor, though. Harry was so worried about becoming a Snake that he begged the old hat to make him anything but a Slytherin. And the look on Ron's face when he was sorted, it was priceless.

Anyway, tell Mom that we are all just fine. We have everything, I swear; O. P.'s honor. We will all write by the end of the week, I promise. We need to head to class, so I guess this is all I get to write. Bye!

"Here, Wabbajack. Take this to Dad. James Ignotus Potter."

The spectacled owl hooted his affirmative, grabbed a piece of bacon, and flew from the Great Hall.

"Wabbajack?" Travis asked incredulously. "I question your sanity more and more by the day."

"Guys, it's time to get to class," Brian interjected. "Let's walk with Ron and Harry; we do have charms with them."

Grabbing their bags, they walked over to the Gryffindor table, collected the two, and made their way out of the Hall. Small talk passed their time as they wound through the corridors and stairs. Things like Quidditch, classes, and pranks filled the air with jovial banter and slapstick jokes about other students. However, when a group of rowdy Slytherins blocked the path, things got cold rather quickly.

"What's a matter, Kennedy?" Draco Malfoy's drawling voice taunted a lone Ravenclaw girl, who was cornered between the gang of Slytherins and a wall. "Did you get sorted into the wrong house?"

"Please, just leave me alone!" A familiar voice met James' ears. It was the girl from the day previous, who had fainted. "I haven't done anything to you!"

"Don't be so crass," a fifth year girl cackled. "A pureblood like you belongs in Slytherin, but here you are in a house of geeks and bookworms!"

"Hey, leave her alone!" Travis barked, walking towards the gang with an unusual show of aggression. James, following his lead, strode right beside him. The other three looked at each other, and then cautiously did the same.

"Well, if it isn't the Airhead Potter and his nerdy brother," Malfoy jeered to the delight of his house mates. "Don't you have a library to study, Ravenclaw?"

"No, but I'm sure I can find a few books small enough to hide your pathetic ego in," James insulted back.

Malfoy's face flushed with anger and shame. Balling his hands into fists, he shook as he struggled to formulate a comeback. His fellows all laughed at him, and he nearly exploded. "Watch your tongue, Potter!"

"What's a matter, Malfoy?" Harry asked. "You mean to tell me that someone as cunning as you doesn't have a comeback for him?"

"I guess his bird beak face is too small to house the proper amount of brain cells to make him intelligent enough to think past petty, racist insults," Brian quipped, making the other Slytherins laugh even more.

"Gee, Drake," James tutted. "Your friends aren't giving you a lot of help here. Maybe they only respect intelligent people."

Draco was incensed by that point. His goons, Crabbe and Goyle, were cracking their knuckles threateningly, the only other Slytherins that weren't laughing. Travis and Brian stared them down, silently daring them to bring it on, while Ron and Harry looked cautiously over their shoulders, unsure what to do. James stood stoically, watching Malfoy like a hawk.

"I'd call your guard dogs off. Wouldn't want them to start something they'd regret."

"Why don't you-"

"Back off, Malfoy," One of the older Slytherins interrupted. "I'm a prefect, and I can't allow any fights to go on. Come on, let's get to class. This was getting boring anyway."

Like that, the gang dispersed, with the prefect half dragging Malfoy away. The girl, Emma, was crying and picking up all of her fallen books and strewn parchment and quills. Her ripped bag was cradled in her arms as she scooped up as much as she could into its torn body.

"Here, lemme help," James soothed as he knelt and began to pick up her books.

She ignored him as a soft sob racked her shoulders. Shakily and erratically picking up her supplies, she looked like she was lost in her own despair.

"Jimmy Dean, we gotta get to class," Travis started carefully.

"Just a second ago you were standing up for the girl, now you want to just leave her in the dust?" Brian asked quizzically. "What is wrong with you, dude?"

"Nothing, I just don't want to be late-"

"Then get to class! If you can't stand helping somebody out, then go. I can handle this."

Embarrassed, Travis walked away, Ron following him uncertainly.

"She is making him helping her quite the habit," Ron breathed not at all too quietly as they retreated down the hall.

"He should start taking tabs," Travis muttered.

"Don't mind them," Harry assured her.

"They really aren't that bad," James agreed. When she continued to ignore them he pressed a little harder, grabbing her shoulder and squeezing gently. "Kayemilyemma?"

She laughed slightly between sobs and fell into his chest. Nervously wrapping her in a hug, James looked up at Brian and Harry, who both shrugged.

Putting a hand on her back, he whispered, "I know Jimmy Dean makes a comfy pillow, but we do have to get to Charms."

She giggled again and nodded. Shyly pulling herself away, she kept her gaze down, obviously embarrassed. They helped her gather the last of her things, and hauled it to the Charms corridor. They were going to be late.

"… Charms is a very broad and deep scope of magic. Its spells can range from miraculous and heart-lightening to rather nasty- oh, you must be my four missing students! Which one of you is…? Gates?"

"Me, sir," Brian spoke up, holding up his hand. He quickly took a seat next to Travis at the front of the class, leaving James and Emma the last desk at the back.

Flitwick checked his name off, and then looked to James. His eyes twinkled in excitement, and he clapped his hands gleefully. He had to have been no younger than eighty, judging by how old he looked. Long, wild hair framed his head like a wispy white cloud and his pale blue eyes shone with a youthful exuberance. He couldn't have been taller than two and a half feet.

"Then you must be the Potters!" he exclaimed in a squeaky voice.

"Yes, sir. I'm Harry," Harry introduced, taking a chair by Ron.

"Ah, the Gryffindor," Flitwick confirmed, checking his name off.

"Yes sir, James Dean. I'm sorry we're late-"

"Oh, hogwash, m'boy, hogwash! I must say, it is an honor to have you in Ravenclaw! I can tell you two and Mr. Gates were helping Miss… uh…" Flitwick looked down at his list. "Kennedy! It would appear that she has ripped her school bag! Understandable, you three, understandable. It's good to see our Ravenclaw and other students looking out for each other. Five points to Ravenclaw, the of you. And five to Gryffindor, as well."

Travis kept his gaze straight ahead, looking more and more embarrassed by the minute as Ron's ears blazed a deep scarlet.

"Thank you, sir," thanked Flitwick appreciatively.

"Not a problem, Potter. Good deeds should never be punished, nor should they ever go unrewarded. Take a seat, will you please? Now, who can tell me the charm that would repair Miss Kennedy's school bag?"

Hermione Granger's hand shot up as James and Emma took their seats in the last desk. "Miss Granger?"

"Reparo, sir."

"Correct! Five points to Gryffindor! Now, does anybody know how to perform this certain spell? Other than Miss Granger?"

James held up his hand hesitantly. "Ah, Mr. Potter! Yes?"

"Well, my Dad always uses it for his glasses… he kinda just circles his wrist a bit and-"

"That is exactly correct, Mr. Potter. Five points to Ravenclaw. Magic is a lot more complex than it seems. In order to make certain spells work, you must move your wand in a certain manner. For example," Flitwick pointed his wand at Emma's bag and clearly chanted "Reparo!" which immediately caused the torn bag's seams to form back together perfectly.

"Now," Flitwick lectured. "Pull out your parchment and prepare to take notes on the simplest wands motions."

Lily read the letter with a growing grin.

"Yes!" She screamed triumphantly, spinning the wheelchair into a wheelie and spiraling around behind her desk at St. Mungo's. "You owe me ten galleons! I told you James Dean was going to be a Ravenclaw!"

James looked at his wife in distaste. "Oh, you're so mature, Doe."

"Look who's talking, Prongs."

Hogwarts proved to be nothing at all like what James and Harry's mother had told them it would be; it was ten times weirder. With countless staircases that ranged from opulent and grand to so narrow and rickety one would be hard pressed not to fear for their life. It was difficult enough not to get lost between classes, but when ghosts popped out of nowhere like the forever arguing Sybil and Cecil, it was rather easy to get distracted. With it so easy to become lost, James often had to ask his professors for directions to his next class. Some were helpful, and downright happy to do so. Professor Flitwick, the Charms teacher and Head of Ravenclaw house, was so thrilled to have a Potter in his House that he offered to even assign an older student to give him, Brian and Travis an in-depth tour. Others, like Professor Snape, sneered and "reminded" him that he wasn't a tour guide, and even deducted house points for asking.

Fred and George Weasley were lifesavers. In between classes and even afterhours, they would show James and Harry around the castle, and noted secret passages that could substitute as shortcuts. Pretty soon, Harry, James, Travis and Brian were making it to classes in record time, were able to fly around the school afterhours without getting caught, and were able to pull off a few minor pranks, all with "Gred and Forge" and their best friend Lee. Harry and Ron stayed away from the pranking for the most part, as their first night they came within three feet and a door away from getting caught by Filch. Chickening out, they refused to rejoin the "late-night festivities."

When Travis asked Fred how he and George had gotten such a vast knowledge about Hogwarts, especially since they were only third years, he was rather short on it. "A map," he answered curtly, grinning like a maniacal magician keeping his worst secret. He and Fred hushed them upon further questions, saying that it was a well guarded secret, and one that they could not indulge upon them, at least not yet.

"'Yet' being the operative word, mate," George hinted with a wink. "We still require the item's… services, but when we decide that it is not necessary to be of use to us, you will get to know more than just what it is. Trust me."

"Hey, flying lessons tomorrow," Brian announced one morning. It had been a few weeks since the start of term, and things had been going so fast that James could have sworn he had been sorted the day before.

"Huh?" he muttered tiredly from his newly minted favorite spot; a couch and table facing the wall of the common room. Far from the rest of the house, and out of the prying eyes of prefects, it was the perfect place to get a bit of peace to finish homework and plan independent "midnight trips."

"Flying lessons tomorrow with the 'Puffs. It's at one, right after lunch, so we don't have Potions!"

"Sweet," Travis sighed, looking relieved. James felt relief, too. Snape was not exactly a great teacher.

"I still can't believe his first class," Brian laughed as he plopped down on the couch next to a quiet Emma. "That jerk got what he had coming to him."

"You are here to learn the subtle- and possibly deadly- art and science of potion-making," The tall, greasy haired, hook-nosed man dressed in black whispered loudly. He was very intimidating, with his curtain of black hair and cold dark eyes, as well as being bedecked in flowing black robes that made him look a bit like Darth Vader.

"Potter!"

"Huh?"

"Potter!"

"Uh, yeah-I mean, sir?"

"What do you get when you add powdered root of asphodel with an infusion of wormwood?"

"Uh…"

"That's what I thought. Clearly yours and your brother's "fame" is not at all that it's cracked up to be."

The class stirred quietly, shocked at Snape's insult. James, however, was largely unaffected. "Uh…"

"Is 'uh' the only word in your vocabulary, Potter?"

"Uh… I mean-not really. And asphodel and wormwood mixed together are ingredients to the potion called the Draught of Living Death, a sleeping potion so powerful that it mimics the user's death. Alladron the Convict used it to avoid capture by staging his own fake death during the Viking raids on England in the Eighth Century."

Snape's passive face quirked an eyebrow slightly. "Well, it would appear that you may have some intelligence to you. What is the difference between wolfsbane and monkshood?"

"None. They are the same exact plant."

Snape had the faint aura of beginning to look half impressed, half angry. "Where does one find a bezoar?"

"A bezoar is a stone found in the stomach of goat that would save a human's life from most poisons."

Snape finally dropped his wall of anger and looked at James with interest. "Well, it would appear that at you, unlike your brother, can actually take time to read a book."

"Actually, I didn't read the book at all until this morning, sir."

The look of shock wrote itself all over Snape's pale face. "And how did you come across this knowledge, then? Fancy yourself as a Legilimens?"

"No, it is written in the front of the book. Yay for introductions?"

Brian and Travis laughed heartily at the reminiscing. Emma even giggled a little. "The look on his face was classic," Brian said over his laughing. Pulling an exaggerated impersonation of Snape's face, Brian raised his voice to match Snape's and screamed, "Potter! Expand your vocabulary!"

"I think 'uh' is the only word I really need."

So? What ch'y'all thunk? Is dis extremely short chapter... passable?