Author's Note: I'm posting a bit early because I want to sleep in tomorrow morning….then I'll be cooking my ass off. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Oh…I forgot to mention that I used the term peni, which means multiple penises in Stayce's (XJerseyGirl) honor. Being an RN, I have handled thousands of peni in my career. Just call me an expert in schlongology. Thanks again for reading, and all of you leaving those amazing reviews. Love ya! Sue

Chapter 11

Monday flew by. Gang activity triggered several alarms for business that used Rangeman's services. Tuesday wasn't looking much better. The men cautiously peered into the kitchen in the rec room for fear there would be another tray of those land minds that Stephanie made. Relief couldn't come close in describing the feeling to see their absence. Stephanie 'made' microwave pancakes and pre-cooked Jimmy Dean turkey sausages. They inhaled their meal and hurried up to 5.

Valerie found Stephanie in Ella's kitchen. "I have a huge favor to ask," she began. She frowned when she saw Stephanie pulling a tray of muffins from the oven. "You're baking?"

Stephanie placed the hot tray on top of the stove. "Yeah…can you believe it?"

Valerie selected a muffin from the cooling rack and broke it apart. She popped a small piece into her mouth and gagged. "Oh my God! What is that?"

"It's a cinnamon muffin. Why? Do you like it?"

Valerie pulled a sheet of paper towel off the roll and spit out the offending food. "No! That is awful."

Stephanie frowned. "That's so weird. I thought they tasted like shit, too. But, the guys went crazy over them, so I decided to make more. I followed Ella's recipe to a 'T'. See…sugar, eggs, flower, cinnamon, oil…." Stephanie waved her hand passed all the containers on the counter.

Valerie examined each one. She picked up the bottle of cinnamon and turned it over. Gasping, she cried out, "Oh my God, Stephanie! This isn't cinnamon…look!"

Stephanie snatched the bottle out of her hand. A new label had been placed on the back listing the new contents. Cumin, Sage, Chili powder, Garlic powder, Onion powder, and Thyme. "Shit," she groaned. "No wonder these tasted so nasty."

Valerie and Stephanie stared at each other for a moment before they burst out laughing.

"Val…I was totally shocked that everyone said they really liked these things. I was like….really? I couldn't believe it," she snorted. "I thought they tasted like something that died and had been sitting on the side of the road for weeks!"

"What are you going to do? Throw these out?"

Stephanie bit her lower lip. "I know they didn't want to hurt my feelings," she mused. "Even Hal told me they reminded him of home. But, I don't like people lying to me either. Carlos even told me he liked them. I think I need to serve up a second batch of death muffins to teach them a lesson."

Valerie covered her mouth as she giggled. "That's so mean!"

"I know," Stephanie agreed. "But, it's not like I'm going to make this shit again. Might as well have some fun with them." Stephanie removed the muffins from the pan and placed them on the cooling rack. "So what did you want to ask me?"

"Oh…I think I'm ready to…uh…consummate my relationship with Hal," she told her.

"Well…you won't be disappointed," Stephanie muttered under her breath.

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Are you ready for that step? Hal's not pressuring you…is he?" Stephanie couldn't fathom Hal begging for sex but had to ask.

"No! Nothing like that. He's been a perfect gentleman. I just needed time. Steve and I were over long before he left me. I kind of was in denial about it. I just didn't feel right about starting something up with Hal until I dealt with everything. The girls love Hal, and they are adjusting to not having Steve around."

Valerie hopped onto a stool. "He hasn't even tried to call them, Stephanie. It's one thing if he hates me and doesn't want to see me anymore. But it's another thing to blow off his children. I don't even know where he is."

"Do you want to track him down?" Stephanie asked.

"Eventually I guess I'll have to. I'm saving up for a divorce lawyer. I'll have to find him to serve him. I'm going to need closure, so the girls and I can move on," Valerie explained.

"But for now…we need to get you laid," Stephanie joked.

Valerie turned pink. "I'm so nervous. It's been over a year since I…you know."

Stephanie sucked in her breath. "A year? Oh Val…it's time. Do you want me to babysit the girls tonight?"

Valerie shook her head. "No…but how about next weekend? I know you and Carlos are going to Miami this week. It's Hal's birthday a week from Saturday. I thought we could go away for the weekend. And…well…you know."

"You're giving him a birthday boink?"

Valerie rolled her eyes. "No! I bought him a really nice watch. I can't ask Mom and Dad to babysit for a whole weekend. You know that Mom would have a fit."

Stephanie had to agree. "Yeah, if having one knocked up, unwed, slut daughter wasn't bad enough. She'd shit Frisbees with having her other married slut daughter having sex with a man that wasn't her husband."

"You don't mind keeping the girls that weekend?"

"No…not at all. We'll go to the mall. We'll rent movies and have Carlos make us popcorn. It will be like a slumber party," Stephanie assured her.

Valerie slid off the stool and wrapped her arms around Stephanie. "Thank you so much. For everything. I can't believe it took the end of my marriage to finally have a relationship with you."

"If someone told me a year ago that you would split from Steve, and I'd be pregnant with twins…I would have called the mental police. Funny how things have a way of working out," Stephanie sighed.

"So…are you excited about tomorrow?" Valerie rubbed her belly.

"Actually…yeah. I am. It's kind of scary, too. I know I'm having twins. But now, instead of its…it could be hims or hers…or him and her. It's so strange."

Valerie hugged her again. "I'm so glad you found Carlos. You deserve a man that loves you and will treat you right. It's been a long time coming, Stephanie, but now it's finally your turn."

"You, too, Val," Stephanie replied. "Hal's a really decent guy. He really cares about you…and the girls. Hal would never do to you what Steve did. I think we finally found real men that we can count on."

The Merry Men on 5 watched in horror as Stephanie came off the elevator with a tray of freshly baked muffins. They attempted to ignore her, but she wasn't going to let that happen.

"Hi guys!" she called out to everyone. "I've got more of muffins that you loved so much. Come and get 'em!"

Valerie hurried to her desk to hide her smile. Barely audible groans paved the way as Stephanie marched into the break room.

"Shit…where is a terrorist attack when you need one," Junior whined. He heard all about those horrible muffins. He wasn't going to be the one to make Stephanie cry. Ranger would kick his ass seven ways 'til Sunday. He and Cal were stuck.

Ram and Woody attempted to lie and told her how full they were from breakfast, but Stephanie's lower lip protruded. Turning a greenish hue, they all took a muffin. She watched them like a hawk so they had to eat the whole thing. Lester sent a text to Bobby asking him to bring up a bottle of Tums.

Not to leave anyone out, Stephanie brought Junior and Cal their muffins. "I hope you like them as much as the other guys did. I worked really hard on them." Okay, she laid it on thick, but what the hell? She would just blame the pregnancy hormones.

Wednesday, Ranger wanted to leave for New Brunswick right after the morning meeting. He couldn't shake that kid on Christmas Eve vibe. Not only would they get to see the babies today, but they might be able to find out their sex. He wanted a boy so bad he could taste it, but he kept telling himself the twins would be girls. The last thing Ranger wanted to do was to show any disappointment. Besides, he had control over the outcome. It had already been decided.

When Stephanie entered the conference room, the guys began to sweat. Just because she didn't have a tray of muffins in her arms didn't mean she didn't leave one in the break room. Their only salvation was that Ranger and Stephanie had to leave as soon as the meeting ended. Then they would be able to destroy every last muffin turd and lie about eating them all.

Ranger ran through the agenda quickly. "Anything else?"

Stephanie raised her hand. "I just want to thank everyone again for the iPod. You guys didn't have to do that. You went above and beyond the call of friendship. I'm still trying to figure out all the extras, but it's really neat. I made those muffins because I wanted to do something to show you how much I really appreciate and love all of you," she began.

They all exchanged nervous glances and prayed she didn't bake for them again.

"Well, I have a confession to make. I sort of…screwed up the recipe," she admitted.

Now, they all exchanged confused looks.

"I followed Ella's recipe exactly. I thought they tasted like road kill. But…you guys went on and on about how good they were. So, I made them again. Val noticed that Ella had a special spice mixture in the cinnamon bottle," she explained.

"And you served the 2nd batch anyway?" Ranger asked incredulously.

She nodded. "Uh huh. Since you lied to me, I thought you guys needed to be taught a lesson. You should have been honest with me."

Tank burst out laughing. "Oh my God, Bombshell! Those muffins were worse than capital punishment. I don't think they would have allowed those things at Guantanamo. The prisoners would have preferred the water boarding!"

"Damn, Beautiful," Lester whined. "Not only was that a rotten trick…that was good one. But you do remember what they say about paybacks…don't you?"

Stephanie gave him a sly smile. "Yeah, but no one here is going to do anything to the boss's pregnant fiancée because they will be afraid of what will happen to them."

Ranger raised an eyebrow as he looked around the table. "She's got you there."

"But…I am sorry," she apologized. "It really was an accident. At first, I was so surprised that you liked them. Well…shocked is more like it. I had just made another batch, and Val almost threw up after she tried one. But then the pregnancy hormones kicked in. Because it pissed me off that all of you lied to me, so I decided to make sure everyone had another one."

"Wait 'til Ranger sees the receipt for all the TUMS we went through," Bobby added.

"That ain't no lie," Woody groaned. "Don't take this the wrong way, Bomber, but please don't bake for us anymore."

"Trust me…unless it's out of a can or slice and bake, my cooking days are over," Stephanie promised.

"Okay," Ranger said as he stood. "Only call me if someone is bleeding…or dead. Let's go, Babe."

"Make sure you let us know as soon as you find out what you're having," Tank insisted.

Stephanie kissed his cheek. "Will do. See you later."

They each took a turn rubbing her belly on the way out of the conference room.

After a brief exam, Selma led Ranger and Stephanie to the ultrasound room. "Are you excited to find out what you are having?" she asked them.

"Yeah," Stephanie replied. "How can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?"

Stephanie lay back on the table as Ranger helped her lift her top. The tech placed a sheet over her legs before squirting the cool gel on her belly. Stephanie flinched at the sudden chill.

"Sorry," the tech apologized. "Forgot to warn you about that."

"Well, it's not as scientific as you would think," Selma explained. "We should be able to see something at this stage of your pregnancy, but it also depends on their position. We took for hamburgers or turtles."

"What?" Steph and Ranger asked in unison.

Selma laughed. "I told you you'd be surprised. The female genitalia form what looks like a hamburger. The labia are the buns and the clitoris is the meat."

Ranger winced. "I'm sorry I asked."

"And for males, the penis looks like a little turtle poking its head out from the testicles. So we call that the turtle sign," Selma continued.

"Ready?" the tech asked.

"Let's do it," Stephanie told her.

The tech moved the transducer over Stephanie's belly. It wasn't long before a rhythmic heartbeat filled the room. "Okay…here's baby number one."

Selma pointed out the different areas of the body. The tech moved the transducer around to get a better view of the genitals. "Okay…looks like this one is a boy…"

"Yes!" Ranger hissed. He dropped Stephanie's hand to pump his fist in the air. He looked down at her smiling face. "I love you, Babe." He captured her mouth with his.

"This is his penis," Selma pointed out. "And…he made my job easier because it's erect."

Stephanie sat up, and they lost the picture.

"What?" she gasped.

Selma smirked. "Male fetuses can and do get erections."

"Are you serious?"

Selma's shoulders shook as she chuckled. "Yes, I am. Don't worry…it's totally normal."

Stephanie flopped backwards onto the table. "Oh my God! He is so your son. He's not even born yet, and he's getting aroused! He's just like his father."

Ranger's smile widened. He looked like that cat that swallowed the canary.

"Okay…let's check out baby number 2," Selma laughed.

The tech repositioned the transducer and slowly dragged it across the belly. It took a minute, but she located baby number two. Selma pointed out all the parts again till they got to the baby's bottom.

"Okay…this one isn't cooperating. It's got its legs crossed. We can't see what's there," Selma sighed.

"I'll bet this one is a girl," Ranger insisted. "She's just like her mother…shy about her body."

"Thanks," Stephanie moaned. "Would you want your daughter spreading her legs for the camera?" That comment wiped the smile off Ranger's face.

"No," he agreed. He pulled out his phone. "I'm going to give Tank the news."

Having a boy and a player to be named later.

"Everything looks good. You look to be about 18 weeks along. Again, since we don't really know exactly because you hadn't had regular periods, this is still a guestimate. Still looking at mid October as a due date. But most times, twins go early. Not always, but I wouldn't be surprised if you go in September. If you are thinking about moving to New Brunswick, I would say no later than August would be a good target," Selma advised.

"I'll get something set up in July," Ranger assured her. "I've already checked into a couple places but haven't looked at them yet."

The tech wiped off the remaining gel, and Ranger pulled Stephanie up. "So are we good till next month?"

"Yeah…unless you have any problems. Have you felt them moving yet? You should start feeling something now."

Stephanie rubbed her stomach. "I'm not sure. Just feels like gas or like a little flutter. But nothing like a kick or an elbow."

"That's normal. You're doing well with your weight. You've gained about 10 pounds so far. I don't think you're going to have a problem, and I don't want you dieting. But, it's a good idea to not go crazy. How about exercise?"

"Should she be exercising?" Ranger asked. "She hasn't, but well…she's just getting over the kidnapping."

"Walking is fine. I don't want you starting an exercise program now. Not unless it's something you've been doing right along. But walking everyday or swimming is good for you. Giving birth takes its toll on your body, so keeping in shape helps you through it," Selma said.

Stephanie groaned. She hated exercise, but she could deal with walking. "I guess I could use the treadmill in the gym sometimes. The guys just bought me a new iPod. Carlos and I can go for walks, too. Right?"

Ranger kissed her temple. "You know it, Babe. What about flying? I chartered a private plane. It has a couch that she can stretch out on. I'd like to take her to Miami tomorrow."

"I don't see any problems. How's the nausea been?"

"It's been a while since I've had morning sickness. Still get a little queasy with some strong smells, but even that's gotten better. I do get tired all of a sudden, but other than that, I've been doing much better," Stephanie admitted.

"Great. Have you thought any more about natural child birth?" Selma looked at Ranger for his reaction.

"No…I want drugs," Stephanie insisted.

"I do have to prepare you that there is a good chance that you will need a c-section. Not because you are having twins, but you have a narrow pelvis. We'll just have to monitor the size of the babies' heads as the time gets closer. So…you might get your wish to get knocked out and wake up after they're born." Selma laughed. "Actually, we'd give you an epidural and numb you from the waist down. You'd be awake and can watch the birth. But, you won't feel a thing. I promise."

"I think I could handle that," Stephanie agreed.

"Again, it's not set in stone, but we'll do what is best for you and the babies."

Stephanie hugged Selma. "Thank you so much for taking care of me. Not only do I trust you as my doctor, but I think it's kind of special that you are family and going to be a part of this. And thanks for putting up with all our questions."

"It's exciting for me, too. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this." She glanced at her watch. "Sorry, I've got another appointment. Good to see you doing so well, Stephanie. Call me for any questions or concerns. Just schedule your next appointment on the way out." She paused at the door. "Oh…there's a really good book called What To Expect When Your Expecting. I recommend it to all my patients. It's full of helpful information about all the little ins and outs of being pregnant."

Stephanie shot Ranger a death glare. Ranger's eyes widened and raised his hands with the palms up in an I-didn't-do-anything gesture.

"Did I say something wrong?" Selma asked.

"No. Someone gave me that stupid thing. The lady with the head hanging out of her crotch in the last chapter that looked like her insides were being ripped out of her was in a lot of pain. That was it for me. I don't want to know about anything else in that stupid thing," Stephanie grumbled. "I threw the torture book out."

"There was some good information in there, Babe," Ranger insisted gently.

"Okay…forget I mentioned it. Just call me for any questions."

She kissed Stephanie and Ranger goodbye and left.

"Thank you, Babe," Ranger whispered. "For giving me a son."

She rose up on her toes and kissed him. "This is so weird. Our son."

"Our son…and the player to be named later," Ranger added as he splayed his hand on her belly.

"Can we stop at my parents' on the way home? I want to tell my Dad in person that he's finally getting a grandson. He's going to be as excited as you are."

The tech gave them a DVD of the ultrasound as well as a few printouts. "Here," Stephanie told Ranger as she gave him the picture of the boy. "You can show this to the guys. Your son's first erection."