BONDING
Nick carefully followed Tso Lan as they walked through a dense, oddly serene forest that was on top of a large hill. There was no path, all Nick could do was follow the tall boy and hope for the best. Eventually everyone reached a large open clearing, with several tree stumps and a few big rocks all around. Hsi Wu jumped onto a rock and lay back on it, looking up at the sky, which could be clearly seen. A tiny cloud puffed by above them all.
"Ahhh…nothing like a beautiful day in the forest." Hsi Wu said. "You know, there's a beautiful view of the valley over to the north about half a mile that way." He told Nick, pointing. "Who wants to tell a story this time?" Shendu asked. Shin scratched his head. "Well I told it last time." "Ooh, ooh, have Dai Gui tell one! I love his stories!" Po Kong hugged Dai Gui, who grinned and turned a little bit red. "Aw, it's nothing. I know how much you like bedtime stories." "How about having the new kid tell a story?" Xiao Fung suggested.
Tso Lan put his hands together and nodded. "Indeed. Tell us of the fantastic things you have in your country. Tell us what it is like in the west."
Nick nodded and sat down in the middle of the clearing, on a small smooth rock. "I made that." Bai Tsa said proudly. "I'm good with sculpting!" "She's a real artist." Tchang Zu admitted. "I don't like her sculptures that much, however she is an amazing painter." "And she's good at Calligraphy too, right?" Nick asked. "Yes! How did you know?" Bai Tsa asked, looking a little bit shyly at Nick.
Nick smiled. "I'll tell you later. Anyway, you wanna hear about my country?"
They all nodded. Xiao Fung drew his knees up to himself and smiled broadly. It wasn't a pleasant-looking smile because he was so frog-like, but the purpose behind it was nice, and that made the smile nice as well.
Nick nodded and let out a long whistle. "Wooo…where to start? I guess at the beginning. I'll tell you how my country was founded. It's across the ocean that my country calls the Atlantic, far to the west. It's in what will be called the New World, and it goes by the name America. There ain't nowhere else in the world I wanna live in…well, maybe Canada someday."
They all blinked. Will be called?
"It all started when people in England wanted to live somewhere where they wouldn't be persecuted for their beliefs. They traveled across the ocean and came to America. Although they had some nasty skirmishes with the natives, a group of the natives eventually helped the settlers out during a rough time in their lives at the colony they'd recently founded. So they lived to tell the tale of how they came to be in the country they were in. Soon more towns and villages sprung up, and more people sailed over. But the colonies, and there were thirteen of them, soon got involved in a war that was between the countries of Britain and France. Britain, the colony's mother country, won. But then they began to tax the colonies unfairly, without representation. Then skirmishes broke out. Finally it happened!"
"What happened?"
"A group of patriots that would become known as the Founding Fathers drafted a document that stated…"
He recited it with perfect clarity. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. That they are endowed with by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness."
Shin blinked. "Whuh…wooooow. You know, I wish we had that here. You know, a single day of freedom is worth a million days of being in a gilded cage!"
Nick looked at Shin. "Really? I think so too. Anyway, the Founding Fathers, with their Declaration of Independence, stated that they were no longer subject to the whims of the British crown. And after a long war of revolution, America managed to defeat the mother country, which was the strongest power around of that time."
Everyone let out "oohs" and "ahhs".
"America sounds cool."
"It is. But it gets better. Time passed, and advances were made in technology…"
Nick told the story of America as best he knew, talking about all of the advances that the states had made. Then he finished and looked at all of them.
"And that's how America was made."
They all blinked. Finally Tso Lan spoke. "These events…they…they occurred when?" "Not for a LONG time. Not yet. I'm from the future. That's why my clothes are different."
They all gasped, save for Shin, who shrugged. "I kinda expected that. Your aura's not just unique, it's got…traces of something odd in it."
"Huh? What's an aura exactly?"
"You know what chi is?"
"Huh?"
"A soul?"
"Oh yeah!"
"Your aura is the shining power that your soul gives off. All things have an aura. But living creatures have a stronger one than non-living things, and things with magic have even stronger auras still!"
"That makes sense." Nick said, getting it.
Tso Lan explained calmly. "But an aura is not just a way to tell if a person is magical or powerful. It is a part of your soul. And your soul reveals what you've been through, and tells a bit about your spiritual connection. Just as your heart reveals your true nature and your emotions, the soul reveals the connection you have to the spiritual and magical realm. The mind connects you to reality and the rational world, your body to the Earth, your soul or spirit to the spiritual, and your heart…your heart is all you, all unique."
Nick nodded. "Okay, I get it. Hey, wanna hear a song?" "Huh?" "This thing on my wrist? It's called a watch. Most watches just tell you what time it is. But mine is really special. It has songs on it. Wanna hear a song?" "Sure!" Hsi Wu said. "I love music!" Tso Lan said, smiling slightly. "Play something meaningful." Shendu requested. "Something that anyone could relate to."
Nick nodded. "Okay, how about…this?"
Nick pressed a few buttons on the watch, and a song began to play.
BGM: Baby, Now That I've Found You, by Alison KraussNick put it on "karaoke mode". He decided "I think I'LL sing to it."
"This is a song by Alison Krauss. I'll sing it to you, and uh, I hope you'll like it!" He cleared his throat.
Bayyyby…now that I've found you I won't letcha go…I built my world around you, I need you so…baby even though…you don't need me noooowwwww…
Bayyyby…now that I've found you I won't letcha go…I built my world around you, I need you so…baby even though…you don't need me…you don't need me, no, noooo! Hmm, hmm, hmmm!
Baby, baby, when first we met, I knew in this heart of miiiine…that you were someone I couldn't forget, I'd sit by…and I'd bide my time!
Spent my life looking for that somebody…to make me feel like yoouuuu! Now you tell me that you wanna leave me…but darling, I just can't let yoooooooooooo-ooohh-oouuu!
Nick mock-played a guitar in the air, and strummed. Suddenly the violin in the song began to play. Tso Lan's ears perked up.
"It's…that sound…so beautiful…what is this sound?"
"It's a violin."
"A…a violin? Violin…I've got to get one!"
Baby, baby, when first we met, I knew in this heart of miiiine…that you were someone I couldn't forget, I'd sit by…and I'd bide my time!
Spent my life looking for that somebody…to make me feel like yoouuuu! Now you tell me that you wanna leave me…but darling, I just can't let yoooooooooooo-ooohh-oouuu!
Suddenly Dai Gui sang out. "Now that I've found you…I built my world around you!"
"Right, like that!" I need you so…baby even though…you don't need me noooowwwww…
Bayyyby…now that I've found you I won't letcha go…I built my world around you, I need you so…baby even though…you don't need me…you don't need me, no, noooo! Hmm, hmm, hmmm!
Hmm, hmm, hmmm!
Hmm, hmm… hmmm!
(Music ends.)
The demons all stared at Nick. Then Shin began to slow clap. Soon the others followed. Hsi Wu whistled. "That was wonderful!" Bai Tsa said. "Hey, could you tell us about that other stringed thing we heard?"
Nick thought about this…and about that Book of Ages he had in his backpack. Hmm…
"I can do more then tell." Nick said, smiling a little. He put his backpack down and reached into it.
He knew exactly what to write….
A WEEK LATER…
Hsi Wu ran out of the door and waved goodbye to "Blossom". "Goodbye mother! I'll see you this afternoon!"
Blossom smiled warmly at her soon and waved back. Long Oah emerged from behind her and watched as Hsi Wu ran off to join his brothers and sisters as they ran off towards the forest. "How odd. Why do they wish to leave the house so quickly nowadays? Usually they'd fight each other in the pond in the backyard or something." "They said they have a new friend who they want to play with today. Apparently he's got magical abilities." "A son of a demon sorcerer? A demon?" "No, human. But magical all the same." "Hmm…"
In the forest, Nick was waiting. To say he'd been fiddling around with the time-stream would have been an understatement. He was TOTALLY screwing around with it. How?
There was now a nice-looking New England home, NICK'S home, in the center of the forest, in the clearing, just behind the ring of rocks and stumps. Nick had a guitar now, a hammock, various musical instruments AND a bicycle, all because of his changes to the Book of Ages. AND, to top it off, Nick had recently put in a television so that he could show them all a movie he'd always wanted to see: South Park, Bigger, Longer and Uncut.
Or, at least, he WOULD have watched it, if not for a little problem.
"OH MY GOD, MY STOMAAAACH!" Nick screamed from inside his bathroom.
"Don't worry, we'll tell you all about it when you get out!"
"WAAAUUUGGH!!!"
"Maybe he shouldn't have eaten those grilled cheeses…"
So unfortunately for Nick, he ended up missing out much of the serious swearing, like…
"YIKES." Shin gaped. "A$$-licker…"
"Piiiiig f--kerrrr…" Hsi Wu said in an awed tone.
"Uncle f—ka? Gee, all these swears and curses about things people can do…I think Dad's done them all." Shendu commented.
Basically, every time they came close to a part full of curse words, Nick got excited which agitated his stomach and then-
"OHHH GOD AAAARRGGHHH!"
"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!"
"YOU BASTARDS!"
The kids all burst into laughter.
"No, no, wait!" Shin shouted. "YIKES, he's still alive!"
"My stomaaaach…"
And so, Nick just stayed on the toilet until it was all outta his system, letting the kids watch the flick.
"So much for that." Shin groaned. Kenny had had his heart replaced with a baked potato.
"I think this movie is warping our fragile little minds." Dai Gui snickered.
"Hey Nick, are there really people like Kyle's mom where you come from?" Shin shouted as Nick sat on the toilet.
Nick looked down at the ground, a little bit ashamed. "Well…yeah…" He shouted back. "But they never started a war in MY world, honest!...not yet."
"Hey, is that Satan?"
"Wait, he's…what the?" Bai Tsa blinked a few times. "Oh, he's gay? Weird."
Shin looked nervous. "It's only a story, only a story…" He kept reminding himself.
Yep. There are gonna be SERIOUS consequences to pay for what's happening now.
But after the movie had ended and his stomach settled down, Nick didn't care about that as he lay on the hammock, guitar lying on the ground next to him. Despite the recent stomach problems he was really, really feeling good. Better yet, the demon kids were having a lot of fun at his new home, and he'd been playing songs with them. They had taken a liking to Alison Krauss. Today they were going to…oh, there they were!
"Guys! About time! Whassamatter with you?" Nick said in a tough "gangster" accent. Po Kong tossed him a glance. She was getting chubbier nowadays. Probably because Nick had introduced her to candy. "We came as fast as we could. We're ready to try it out!" "Okay then! Tso Lan…" Nick pointed at the violin, which was on the other side of his hammock. Tso Lan walked over and picked it up, and began to strum a few strings with his bow.
"Ready?" Nick asked the demon kids.
"Ready!" They all said back.
SOON…
Tso Lan was playing the violin solo to the song "Baby, Now That I've Found You", and soon it would be time for the kids to sing their parts. Nick was strumming the guitar, and he would nod at one of the kids every time it was time for them to sing their line.
"Baby, baby, when first we met…" Shendu sang.
"I knew in this heart of miiiine…" Tchang Zu sang.
"That you were someone I couldn't forget…" Po Kong sang.
"I'd sit by…and I'd bide my time!" Xiao Fung sang.
Now Bai Tsa sang. "Spent my life looking for that somebody…"
"To make me feel like yoouuuu!" Shin sang.
"Now you tell me that you wanna leave me…" Hsi Wu sang out, and then, all of them sang…
"But darling, I just can't let yoooooooooooo-ooohh-oouuu!"
Dai Gui sang out his line after waiting calmly. "Now that I've found yoouuuuu…"
"Good!"
"I built my world around you!"
Nick sang out the last lines.
Bayyyby…now that I've found you I won't letcha go…I built my world around you, I need you so…baby even though…you don't need me…you don't need me, no, noooo! Hmm, hmm, hmmm!
Hmm, hmm, hmmm!
Hmm, hmm… hmmm!
Nick put down the guitar and clapped. "That was wonderful guys! Now I'm gonna teach you a new song. It's also by Alison Krauss. It's called "Every Time You Say Goodbye". Now listen carefully."
Nick pressed a few buttons on his watch, then selected "Play". The music began.
BGM: Every Time You Say Goodbye, by Alison Krauss
Look at the sky, baby…what's do you see? Looks like tears that I've criiiiiiied…
Fallin' down, like raaain on the ground…every time you say goodbye!
Take a look around now, why don't you feeeel…the way that cold wind stings at niiiiight!
And your wishing star's like an arrow through the heart…every time you say goodbye!
There's a restless feeling knocking at my door todaaaay…there's a shadow hanging 'round my garden gaaaate…
I read between the lines of words you can't disguise…love has gone away…put these teaaars in my eyyyyyyes!
Look at the sky baby, see how it criiies…ain't it just like my teeeaaaaars…falling down, like raaain on the ground…every time you say goodbye!
The violin played, and Tso Lan listened intently, loving every stoke of the bow, feeling himself rise higher and higher into a kind of peace with every single note, already picturing how he would play this tune.
There's a restless feeling knocking at my door todaaaay…and there's a shadow hanging 'round my garden gaaaate…
I read between the lines of words you can't disguise…love has gone away…put these teaaars in my eyyyyyyes!
There's a restless feeling knocking at my door todaaaay…and there's a shadow hanging 'round my garden gaaaate…
I read between the lines of words you can't disguise…love has gone away…put these teaaars in my eyyyyyyes!
The music eventually ended. The kids all clapped. Nick bowed. "It's nothing, it's nothing." "Man, you're so lucky." Hsi Wu said. "You've got everything you could ever want." "Nah…what I want…what I REALLY want…I can't just, just HAVE. It has to be earned." "Like what?" Shendu asked. "Like uh…love?" Shin guessed. "Yes, like love! Love has to come from the heart, be it love for a friend, for a brother…"
Nick's eyes clouded over with memory at the thought.
"Or…or from your girlfriend." Hsi Wu sighed. "I wish I had a girlfriend…" "What about that Haruno girl who you keep sneaking shy smiles at every time you walk by her house in town? That girl who moved from Japan?" Shin asked. "She likes you."
Hsi Wu turned beet red. "I'm not in love! Dad would kill me if he found out, and Haruno's father just moved here two weeks ago and he doesn't know who our father is." "He will in three weeks when Dad does his parade..." Shendu said, bitterness entering his voice.
Hsi Wu snorted. "Yeah, well as far as he and Haruno knows, I'm simply Hsi Wu, son of an ordinary peasant who carts produce to town for a living, and I have a big family." "I know she likes you." Shin said. "I turned invisible and snuck into her room through her window. She writes poems about you. She says you have a smile that makes the room light up like a sunrise and that your golden brown eyes are the most beautiful gems in all of the town."
Hsi Wu blinked. "She…she said that about me? I think her eyes are the most beautiful gems in all of town…and she lights up the night brighter than any star, brighter than the moon…"
"Ooh, Hsi Wu's in loooooove!" Tchang Zu sang out, snickering. Xiao Fung sniggered as well. He was already forming a prank in his mind to play on his brother. Nick smiled.
"Well then, you two should go on a date!" He told the Sky Demon.
"A what?" Hsi Wu raised an eyebrow.
"An outing! A get-together! You know, find some way to have fun!"
"Well, there is this beautiful lake a few miles down the road…"
"That's a good first start."
Bai Tsa's eyes glimmered. "Ask her if she'd like to go for a swim, that's always sexy…"
"Hey!" Nick exclaimed. Then he recited a brief poem from a favorite movie of his. "Before you do it, you must go through it…"
"Or else our mother blew it." Tso Lan finished.
"Like Dad would care." Shendu snarled ."He's the worst of the worst. He whipped me this morning for snapping at him."
"You shouldn't talk back to him." Nick said. "He seems like the kinda jerk who takes no gruff from his kids."
"No I mean, LITERALLY snapping at him. I went demon form on him."
"…………oh."
"But I can't hold a candle up to Dad when he's in one of his bad moods…"
"When we were made, God musta looked away." Hsi Wu muttered. Nick raised an eyebrow. "Now what makes you say THAT?"
"God doesn't care about people like us. We are pariahs. Outcasts." Tso Lan explained. "And he gets his strength from this."
Nick blinked a few times. "Uh…what?"
Tso Lan sighed. "Allow me to explain more fully…God is still angry with people over something that happened many, many, MANY eons ago. He just can't get over it…"
"Because he's a big fat pussy!" Tchang Zu spat.
"And so He makes it His job to punish us by giving us happiness and then taking it away. He loves to drink the sweet milk of our tears. This is what gives God his power…tears of people who suffer, be they guilty or innocent. He only cares about allowing evil for his own benefit."
Nick made a "WTF?" face. "That is NOT how it works, darn it!" He shouted.
"Well if it's not, and if this so-called-God really DOES care about people, why does he let Dad whip us?" Dai Gui asked.
Nick blinked. "Wait…he actually WHIPPED you? Your own dad?" Shendu nodded, looking guilty. "Yeah. And that's not even the worst he can do." Nick was furious. He walked off.
"Where are you going?" Hsi Wu called out. "I'm going to have a little "chat" with your dad!" Nick hollered back, with some serious venom in the word "chat". "Nick, no! You don't know how bad he can be!" Bai Tsa shouted, with the rest of her family agreeing. Nick let out a snort. "How bad could he possibly be?"
FIFTEEN MINUTES, A WHIP AND A VERRRRY GOOD STUN SPELL LATER…
"Hey man, this is not cool."
"Now it puts the lotion on its skin."
"Mister, you better let me outta this pit right now!"
"It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the whip again!"
"This is seriously screwed up! You better gimme back my clothes and lemme outta here!"
"IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE WHIP AGAIN!!!"
Nick was stuck in a deep pit, without any clothes on. At the top of the pit was Long Oah, who had lowered a basket that had a cup with some strange, goopy whitish gunk in it. There was a yapping dog next to him, barking. Long Oah was, oddly enough, not wearing anything but underwear and a dress that belonged to his wife, AND he had white makeup on that made him look like a mix between a Kabuki character and a china doll.
Nick groaned. "Fine, FINE! I'll put this stupid stuff on my arms!" He rubbed the stuff on his arms. "Now lemme outta this pit!"
"Now it puts the lotion in the basket."
"Lemme outta here, you freak-a-leek!"
"Put the lotion in the f--king basket!!!"
"FINE!" Nick put the cap back on the weird stuff and put it in the basket. "Your lotion's in the stupid basket! Now lemme outta here!"
TEN MORE MINUTES LATER…
"Nick? How'd it go?" Bai Tsa asked.
"I DON'T wanna talk about it." Nick snapped harshly, rubbing his arms, shivering. That had been SERIOUSLY screwed up.
"Did he stick you in The Pit?" Dai Gui asked. Nick blinked, then nodded embarrassingly. "Uh…yeah…"
"You've got some serious potential in you. You could easily…um…what's the term?"
"Kick his butt?"
"Right! Kick his butt if you wanted to and had some training." "What kind?"
A FEW MINUTES LATER…
"Daaaaad?"
"What is it?" Long Oah snapped. He was rubbing his breasts against a mirror. "Oh, I would SO do me if I was a woman…"
"Daaaad?"
"WHAT!?!" He snarled, turning around, horns poking up from his head for a moment, eyes becoming pure red. Shendu shrunk slightly. "Um…can we go to the dojo? The one in town that you bought a few months back?"
"Yeah, that place? It was dirt cheap too, heh-heh…I love it when prices go down."
"Yeah, killing off the previous owners will do that. Um…can we go there and practice our martial arts skills?"
Long Oah turned around and gave a quick nod. "Fine. Just don't come back until supper. Daddy's got a lot of work to do. I have to go find some supple-skinned women to skin and make a woman costume out of."
But by the time Shendu had heard the words "Don't come back until supper" he'd run out. Long Oah however, kept on ranting about how wonderful he would look once he would have a vagina.
And so, at the dojo in town…
The dojo had a large ring of stones circling around a huge slightly-elevated platform for sparring. This was in the main courtyard. Inside the dojo was a shrine to the Immortals and to the Chinese Zodiac. Outside in the courtyard were statues of the Zodiac animals and the walls around the courtyard of the dojo were painted with the entire legend of the Zodiac.
Nick faced Xan down. The annoyingly nasty younger brother of Xan also happened to be the best fighter out of all of them. And if Nick was going to learn ANY moves, he'd have to learn them from Xan, since none of the others knew enough.
"Now, what's the deal again?" Xan asked, voice sickeningly sweet. Nick groaned and repeated what he had been told to say. "You teach me all the moves you know and in exchange I have to be your "dog" for three weeks. And I have to dance around you and praise you every time you enter a room I'm in."
Xan nodded firmly. "Good. Now then, we'll start with the simplest stuff. You're here because while your magical power is strong and your strength and endurance are great, your agility, speed and martial arts skills leave much to be desired. So first I'm going to show you how to manipulate your aura into helping you run fast. VERY fast."
There was a nice pool on the left hand side of the courtyard, a big Koi pond filled with fish. And on the right hand side were punching bags of various sizes and other training equipment. It was over to the pool that Xan went. He flicked his ponytail back and turned to Nick. "Now watch. You have to focus."
Xan took in a deep breath and held his hands together. He began to hum. Nick could see his feet were being surrounded by swirling air, which soon glowed black. Then Xan bolted towards the pool. Nick gasped as he literally ran right across it, kicking up small bursts of water from the pool with each step, which were quick and light. He was almost skipping on the water. He finally jumped and landed right on the other side of the pool and turned around, the aura vanishing from his feet. "Now then…you try."
Nick shrugged. He walked over to the pool and concentrated. "Okay, focus it on my feet, focus it on my feet…my feet…"
He hummed, trying to imagine in his head his aura flowing in him to his feet, brow furrowed in deep concentration. Finally he looked down. They were glowing with a rainbow-like aura!
"Go, go!" Hsi Wu shouted. Nick did. Arms stretched out, he quickly tapped across the pool, tap-tap-tap-tap-tapping until, only a foot away from the edge…
SPLOSH!
He fell into the koi pond. He surfaced and spat out some pond water as a koi fish bumped into him. Xan was laughing his head off.
"HA-HA-HA! Oh boy, you're going to need some practice! And you ALMOST had it too, ha-ha-ha!"
"He's so cute when he's wet." Po Kong giggled. Nick turned beet red. "HEY! I have a girlfriend!"
"Well what's she got that I don't got?"
"Actually it's what she DOESN'T have that you have."
"Huh?" Then Po Kong looked down at her body. "Oh. Right. The fat."
"No, the huge boobs. For that reason alone I can like her. Now can we please move on?"
"Hey, what about me?" Bai Tsa asked, twirling her hair. Nick looked to the side. "Um, no offense, but whenever I look at your hair I think of tentacles, so…yeah." He turned to Tso Lan. "How does one use magic anyway?"
"Magic comes from different sources. Some invoke it from the power of the Elements, which come from the Earth. The elements are…well, a tool. A while ago, a man was killed with a shovel, and thanks to some clever thinking and some flies, the killer was put away when the flies hovered around the incriminating piece of evidence. Now picture the elements like that shovel…it can be USED for evil, but it itself is not evil. Not even darkness itself is evil."
"Because dark emotions make us human?...uh, no offense."
Tso shrugged. "No, you're right. We have a balance when it comes to the elements, otherwise all reality could spiral out of control…or so it's been said."
"Where else do people get magic from?"
"The magic of the soul, that which can be focused through concentration of the mind and body, is called by many names. If the power comes from your focus of the mind, it's chi. From the training of the body is ki. What you use is an aura that draws power from both…something not many can do. Hardly any can, in fact…"
"Cooooool."
"So there is soul magic, magic of the elements, but there are more forces, like that of the Zoe and The Void…but for now…let's move on. No need to concentrate on those."
So they all decided to move on for now. "Now I'll show you how to do one of the greatest martial arts techniques of all. It is called "1000 Years of Death"."
Nick blinked. "Um…do they call it a Kancho in Japan?" He asked, remembering "Naruto".
The quote:
"Konohagakure Village's Most Sacred and Most Sacred Technique!!! ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH!"
KABOOOOONG!
"YAAAAAH!"
The present:
Xan nodded. "Exactly. However you make it really, REALLY hurt by focusing your aura around your fingers. Now watch…"
Nick made a face as Xan demonstrated it on a dummy. The demon's hands glowed black and then he made his index finger extend, curling the rest of his fingers. He now looked like he was holding a gun almost. "This is called the Sign of the Tiger." Xan said. "Now watch." Then…
POINK!
KABOOOOM!
The dummy went flying through the air, blown away from the butt first. Nick gaped. "Oh WOW." He exclaimed. "Now YOU try." Xan told him, sneering. "Like to see you do better."
Nick went up to another dummy. All eyes were on him. He focused his aura once again, making the right hand gesture, the Sign of the Tiger. He closed his eyes and thrust up…
POINK!
KRAKOOOOOWWW!!!
The dummy exploded into a billion little pieces, all flying in every direction. Smoke rose up from Nick's hands as he blinked soot out of his eyes.
The demon kids gaped. Xan's mouth was a perfect "o" of surprise.
"Um…did I do well?" He asked.
Xan collected himself and grumbled. "Yeah, fine. Moving along."
FIFTEEN SECONDS LATER…
"Now then…"
Dai Gui and Nick were facing each other down. "I'm going to teach you some basic defense moves."
"Right, right." Nick said.
"Now then…watch." Dai Gui held up one curled fist. "North." He quickly lowered it. "South." He raised it up and to the left a bit. "Northwest." See where this was going? "Southwest." And finally: "Northeast. And you'll NEVER have to do Southeast. EVER. If someone tries to go for you on that part, slam your elbow down…"
Dai Gui demonstrated by slamming it down and to the right slightly. "Like THAT. Get it?"
"Right. Got it." Nick said.
Dai Gui nodded. "Right, now I'm going to attack you and tell you where to block, alright?"
"Ita vero." Nick said in Latin. "Yes indeed."
"North!" Dai Gui swung his fist. Nick blocked it.
"South!" Another swing. Nick blocked it once more.
"Northwest!"
Block.
"Southwest!"
Block.
"Northeast!"
Final block. Dai Gui nodded. "Good, good. But now I'm going to attack you and you'll have to deduce where I'm going to hit you from the angle at which my fist is coming. Do you believe you can do that?"
"I can try."
"THAT'S the spirit!" Dai Gui said cheerfully. "Usually you can tell by looking at the person's elbow, that gives away a lot. Sometimes they'll change at the last second, but if you get a person good and distracted and angry, then they won't be bothering with fancy stuff, they'll just be trying to flatten you and wipe the smirk offa your face."
"No problem. I can piss people off easy!"
"Piss people off?"
"Make them annoyed. REALLY annoyed. It's like a secret talent."
"Right, right."
"Are you SURE you wouldn't want to-" Po Kong began to say.
"Not interested, sorry." Nick interrupted. She and Bai Tsa sighed.
"Well, let's keep up the training!" Xan said. "Now, I'm going to charge you." He told Nick. "You simply have to survive for five minutes, long enough to show me the moves you have." He cracked his neck a few times and his eyes glowed brightly for a moment. "Let's go!"
BGM: Montage, by Trey Parker, from Team America: World Police
The hour's approaching, just give it your best…
You got to reach your prime!
Xan throws a few punches and Nick barely dodges them.
That's when you need to put yourself to the test,
And show us a passage of time!
Suddenly one clips his shoulder and he goes flying, hitting the ground. Xan laughs.
We're gonna need a montage…
Nick suddenly jumps up, kneeing Xan in the face.
Montage!
Oh it takes a montage!
Montage!
Now the scene cuts to the house. Nick is playing a rock song with the kids, and Shin is belting out some lyrics to some song.
Sure a lot of things happing at once,
Show everyone what's going on…
"What's going on?" Shin suddenly asks as Nick's doing push-ups back at the dojo.
And when every shot you show a little improvement…
To show it all would take too long…
"Just go with it, dude!" Nick tell him, returning to the push-ups.
That's called a montage!
Montage!
Oh we want montage!
Montage!
Nick is facing an animated dummy brought to life by magic. It staggers at him but he delivers a flurry of strong punches, then his fist glows brightly and he slams it into the dummy's head. It's blown off instantly.
Learn anything that you want to know…
from just a beginner to a pro!
You want a montage!
Montage!
Hsi and Haruno are walking down the town road, holding hands.
Even "Rocky" had a montage!
Montage!
Long Oah whacks his wife in the kitchen as a frightened Shendu watches from a nearby doorway crack.
Montage…montage!
Nick is now facing Xan again. They take up fighting poses…
Learn anything that you want to know…
From just a beginner to a pro…
You want a montage!
Xan rushes, delvering the same attacks he'd done before. Nick dodges them. Suddenly the shoulder-shot is delivered…
Montage!
Oh it takes a montage!
Nick grabs it, then lifts Xan up and over his head, tossing him. He jumps up in the air and strikes with a backhand strike with both hands, in an X-strike kind of move. Xan is knocked down to the ground.
Nick gives a two-fingered salute to the cheering kids.
Always fade out in a montage…
Scene's with Hsi and Haruno. The two lean in close, and gently kiss. It's fading out…
If you fade out, it seem like more time has passed…
In a montage…
Montage…
Now we're back at the dojo!
Nick was doing some aura exercises, getting the hang of water-walking. "Hey, this is pretty cool!" Nick said, walking off the water onto the ground again. "I wonder if I could-"
Suddenly Shin hollered "WHAT THE HELL!?!" and they all looked at Xiao, who was…um…
"Xiao Fung the Wind Demon of the East, what in the name of God's great Earth are you DOING!?!" Nick screamed.
Xiao Fung was thrusting himself against a shrubbery. "CAN'T…STOP…HUMPING!" He shouted. "AAA!!!"
Xan rubbed his chin. "Hmm…you must have hit puberty. Heh, I remember when I did. Hey wait…you shouldn't be old enough-oohhhhh!" His eyes widened. "You tried one of Father's "special" potions, didn't you?"
"All right, I admit it! Please, please just help me!" Xiao pleaded.
"Mazel Tov, you're now hormone addled." Nick laughed. To him it was so funny that the gross factor was almost nil.
"Help, please! I can't stop!" Xiao Fung begged.
Xan took his brother to the side. "Look, tonight me and the girls will show you what you gotta do. But for now, uh…could you, like, leave?"
Xiao ripped up the shrub and ran out of the dojo. Nick sighed.
"That was really decent of you to offer to help him. You know, you guys say you're not close to each other, but you really are." Nick told the kids after leaving the dojo. Xan blinked a few times. "What's THAT supposed to mean?"
Nick shrugged. "I mean, you've said you're not that close to each other but I think you really are, that you'd die for each other, that you'd really be there for each other if the chips were down."
They all looked at each other. "Really? You think so?" Bai Tsa asked. Nick nodded.
"Yeah! Love for your family is incredibly important! It can redeem people."
"Even if they have horns?" Tso Lan wondered wryly.
"Even if they have horns, a tail, and pure red eyes." Nick insisted. "Love does a lot."
"I don't know if I really care about these guys. In fact, I probably don't." Xan said simply. Dai Gui kicked him in the shin, and he hopped around, rubbing it, howling. Nick rolled his eyes. "Then play pretend."
They all looked at him. "Huhhh?"
"The more you play pretend, the better you'll become at doing something." Nick explained. "The more you play pretend, the closer you come to the real thing. You dress up as a doctor or pretend to be a father and you learn life skills for later on in life. So playing pretend prepares you. Just like praying "Our father who art in Heaven" is playing pretend, only instead of dressing up as a doctor…" Nick smiled. "As one of my favorite authors said, "You're dressing up as Christ"!"
Xan blinked a few times.
"And even if YOU don't care Xan, I know they do. I wish I had a relationship like you guys do with MY brother."
Shin rubbed his chin. "Right, we never heard you talk about YOUR family. What's your brother like?"
Nick looked a little nervous. He looked off to the side. "I…I uh…don't like to talk about him…I'd…I'd rather not talk about him at all, thanks." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm…I'm headin' off. See you later."
He waved goodbye and headed back on the path through the forest that would lead him to his home. He walked through the woods.
BGM: When She Loved Me, as sung by Jordan Pruitt
A gentle, persuasive wind blew the forest's trees. Leaves flowed all around him, onto his path and onto his side. But Nick wasn't paying attention to that…
As he walked, he became a little boy again. He was a kid once more, in his backyard…grass all around, a sprinkler on, wearing orange swimshorts and…
And Dave, grinning cheerfully, jumping around in the sprinkler.
(Nick laughs happily and joins in.)
When somebody loved me…everything was beautiful!
(The two brothers are splashing around in the sprinkler, laughing happily.)
Every hour we spent together lives within my heart…
(Dave is on his bed, crying. Nick walks over and mouths "what's wrong" but there's no audio. Dave sniffles and starts talking.)
And when he was sad…
I was there to dry his tears…
(Nick holds up some legoes, asking "Wanna play?" and David nods, smiling now, not crying so much.)
And when he was happy, so was I…when heeee…loooved…meeee…
(Nick and Dave are now playing with Legos, acting out big and grand adventures, all smiles.)
Through the summer and the fall…we had each other, that was all…
(Nick and Dave are on the school bus, laughing at some joke.)
Just him and I together…like it was meant to be…
(Nick walks Dave up to the school exit, hands around his shoulder.)
And when he was lonely…I was there to comfort him…
(Dave is alone at the house. Suddenly Nick walks in, late from some after-school thing. He grins and the two go to the playroom, making a racecar course with old-fashioned wooden block toys.)
And I kneeeewww that…heeeeee loooved meeeeeeee…
(Photos of Nick and Dave over the years of childhood, together, playing, fooling around. The last one is of Disneyland, when both are in front of a rollercoaster, grinning, surrounded by their family.)
So the years went by…I stayed the same…
(Nick and David are playing N64, smiling, older now. The doorbell rings. David gets up. Nick blinks David goes off to play with his friends outside.)
He began to drift awaaaay…I was left alone.
(Nick sighs and turns off the N64. He walks out and asks something of David, who shakes his head. Nick walks back inside, looking unhappy.)
Still I waited for the day…
(Nick is alone in the back of the bus. David is up front with other kids.)
When he'd say "IIIIII will always loooove yooouuuu"…
(Nick is alone in his room, holding tightly onto a pillow. He buries his face in it, as the Disneyland picture on his lap flops to the ground.)
Lonely and forgotten…never thought he'd look my way…
(Nick walks in to see David, both are older now, at a time only half a year ago. David is visibly crying as he turns to look at Nick. Dad and Barbara are to the side of him.)
I smiled and then I held him close…just like we used to do…
(Nick smiles warmly and sits down on David's bed, putting his arm around him and holding him comfortingly.)
When he looooved me…
When he looooved me…
(David shoves him off, still crying. Nick looks taken aback, then he walks out of the room, silently.)
When somebody loved me…everything was beautiful!
(Dad and Barbara walk out, leaving David alone to himself. Dad says "You did the right thing" to Nick but there's no audio.)
Every hour we spent together lives within my heart…
(Nick walks into his room. It gets dark outside, night falls.)
When heeeee…loooooved…meeeeeeee…
(Nick is now in bed, tears falling freely, burying his face in his pillow as he cries himself to sleep.)
Scene cuts to present. Nick has stopped walking. He's crying silently. He wipes his nose and walks down the path again.
I didn't forget the friend my brother was…
But he forgot me…
It's like he's not Dave anymore. Dave died 4, 5 years ago. Now I have David. Dave doesn't exist…
He's just…gone.
Nick walked into the house and got undressed up in his room, getting in bed and lying down under the covers. Across from him is a picture of a photo of him and David as little kids. Both are smiling and holding hands. Nick turns around and looks at the wall, closing his eyes, a tear splashing out.
"Maybe tomorrow will be better." He thought out loud.
AT LONG OAH'S HOUSE…
"Okay, Xiao Fung. Watch and learn." Xan said. "This is how the girls do it."
Bai Tsa and Po Kong were on their beds, naked. Xan and Xiao were sitting in chairs, watching. "Go ahead."
"After you remove your clothes, remember this:" Bai Tsa held up both hands, smiling in a nasty kinda way. "It's nice to share." She shoved them both down. "Now as for ME…" Po Kong held up a drumstick of a raw chicken. "Personally, I like a little exotic food-play, that always spices things up…"
She stuck the drumstick on down and there was a loud sizzling noise. Xiao Fung raised an eyebrow. A couple minutes later she took it out and it was fried and greasy. She took a bite out of it. "Ooh, yeah, that's fingerf—king gooood!"
Xiao Fung gaped. "Cripes."
"And sometimes…"
Bai Tsa put on a mask that looked like Shin's face and then held up a strange looking shaft-like object that was colored to look like a sword. Po Kong began swirling her breasts with one finger and licking them while the other hand grabbed a nearby lamp. "We like to lose ourselves in a little role-playing fantasy…"
"And then bring it all home with some FORCE!"
What occurred next was VERY, VERY, weird. I mean "It got weird, didn't it" kind of weird. As in Dr. Evil and Frau Fraubisenein weird.
"Oh yeah, Shinny! Oh, Shin! Do it, do it! Go! Go! Hear us, exploooaaa-la-la-la-la-laaaaa!"
KABOOOOOOOOOM!
There was a huge explosion that resulted from the weird roleplay. Xiao Fung and Xan were covered in soot. The two girls put their clothes back on and stood up.
"And THAT…is how we masturbate."
Xan turned to Xiao. "Okay, now I'm gonna show you how I do it. All you need is-"
"I'm gonna go to my room to figure myself out, thanks." Xiao Fung muttered, running off.
Xan shrugged. "Well, maybe tomorrow will be better."
Unfortunately for the kids of Blossom and Long Oah, things only got worse. Apparently Long Oah was becoming more and more abusive to his sons and daughters…
One day Nick was surprised by the Demon kids and all found them sullen, unhappy, miserable, and in some cases, hurt…badly.
Naturally, Nick asked them what had happened…
And each told a story…