highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc.

Chapter 11: take a bow

Enter Troy

"Five minutes" I heard someone yell threw back stage. This was it two months of rehearsing and memorizing lines all came down to this day this night this performance. To bad it just so happened to be the furthest thing from my mind at the moment. I looked across the room at Ryan he look completely fine and it hurt. What did he go home last night and completely forget what had happened because I know I hadn't. I had spent yet another night sleepless because of him. And I still hadn't come to any conclusions. I love Ryan that much I could figure out but I was not gay. I refused to be gay because I like girls but Ryan was a whole other story he was amazing and beautiful and I wanted him more then anything. I can't believe this whole time I have been spending time with him it was because I had feelings for him. Was I that slow?

"Troy" said someone form behind. I turned to find Gabi dressed in her first act costume smiling at me and I remembered why I fell for her in the first place. She was beautiful "break a leg wild cat".

How was I supposed to make decisions when both seemed so appealing to me. I grabbed Gabi in a hug and kissed her on the lips. It felt right… it belongs this way I have to forget about Ryan. He was right it was for the best that we didn't see each other anymore we did things to each other that neither one of us could explain especially me. And I love Gabi she was the one Ryan was just a phase.

"Tonight at sharpay and Ryan's after party" she said after our kiss "tonight is the night" and she was out of my arms and on her way to the other side of the stage to await her queue.

My heart sunk into my stomach. Was she talking about what I think she was talking about? I had been waiting to here that for awhile and this was what was going to prove that me and Gabi were in fact right for each other.

I turned around and bumped into someone and my eyes widened and blush filled my face as I realized it was none other then Ryan.

"Sorry" he said walking past me. My hand lingered on his shoulder and he looked at me stone faced and expressionless. "Is there something you wanted?"

I opened my mouth I wanted to say something to him but couldn't. I wanted to tell him I loved him but I didn't. It was wrong because it wasn't true I didn't love him I loved Gabi and Gabi was the right choice. Saying anything to get Ryan's hopes up was unfair and I wouldn't do that to him not tonight not ever.

"No" I said letting go of him. He walked away and I stood there missing the feeling of touching him. I shook my head and tried to clear my mind of any thoughts I had of me and Ryan. It wasn't right not for me Gabi was the one she is good for me Ryan will forever just be a friend in my mind.

Enter Ryan

"Brava all of you" Mrs. Darbus said to the cast and crew back stage after the curtain had fallen. Normally I would be filled with electrified excitement at what had just happened. Nothing got me existed like opening night but at the moment other thoughts were occupying my mind. Why had I said that to troy yesterday? I should have kept my mouth shut. I told him everything I felt and walked away but I couldn't stay away. I had done is so many times with others who I had fallen for but for some reason I felt stupid for walking away from troy. He was too important and I kicked myself for screwing it up. He was different and even if I couldn't have him I knew he still loved me as a friend and not just any friend and I had thrown it away because I didn't want to get hurt. But now I was hurting I was hurt because I had hurt myself. I could have still been his friend I could have still hugged him before the show and wished him good luck but I had let my feelings get in the way.

"Earth to Ryan" said Kelsey. I had been so deep in thought I hadn't even realized that half of the room had left. "Are you ready to go to the party?"

"Um I... I don't really feel like going" I said

"Are you sure because you are the host" she said

I shrugged and took a seat in one of the stray chairs sitting around. I still hadn't told anyone about what had conspired with troy the day before and I knew that eventually Kelsey would ask what was up. She gave me that look and I knew it would happen sooner rather then later.

"What's going on Ryan you have been weird all day?" she said

"I screwed up" I said

"How?" she asked confused.

"I told troy everything yesterday" I said "I told him about my feelings and about how much I like him"

Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth "you didn't"

" I did" I said nodding

"Why? I don't get it why would you do that?" she asked

"We got into an argument" I said "and by the end of it I was telling him I loved him and running from the auditorium"

"What was the argument about?"

"it was stupid he got angry because I never open up "I said "but I didn't because I was scared I was scared that him knowing about my life and stuff that most people don't know because once I told him it would be to hard to let him go" I began to tear up "I had to let him go before it was to late because I couldn't keep falling for him while he thought we where just friends it wasn't fair to him or me"

Kelsey nodded and scrunched up her face in thought. "What did he say after you told him all of this?"

"Nothing he tried to hug me and I pushed him he fell then I told him I loved him and left" I said

"But you never stuck around to see what he said you just left?"

"Why would I do that?"I asked

She shook her head "Ryan I don't know if either of you have noticed but I can tell you everyone else has"

"Noticed what?"I asked

"noticed how much you seem to mean to each other what do you think troy would just call you a fag and spit on you Over the last month I have scene how close you have gotten and I have to say I don't think troy would give up on you just because you have a crush on him" she said "I mean it must have crossed his mind at one point that you are gay and that you may have feelings for him"

"You think?" I asked

"Even if he didn't I'm sure he wouldn't just walk out on you Ryan" she said "you said you're self troy is different"

It was true that over the course of a month me and troy had become more then friends he had become best friends but I couldn't believe that he would be ok with me being in love with him. What would others think what would Gabi think. If she ever found out I know me and troy's friendship what ever was left of it would not last.

"So let's just go to this party" she said holding her hand out. I wanted to go I mean it was my house but I'm not sure if I was ready to. I mean troy and Gabi would be there and once I went home there was no escaping either of them. Weather it was Gabi wanting to talk or gossip or troy's stares that he had been giving me the duration of the day.

"You go ahead I think I'm goanna just stay here and think for a while" I said

She looked disappointed but got up none the less "ok well I'll be waiting for you" and with that I was left alone back stage with nothing but my thoughts. I had screwed up big time I shouldn't have told him how I felt because at the moment I needed a friend and being troy's friend was better then not having him at all.

Enter troy

I sat on the bed in nothing but my underwear as Gabi took off her shirt at the foot of the bed. We had enjoyed the party for a little bit until we decided to go to one of the many guest rooms in the Evans manner. Once she was in nothing but her bra and panties she climbed onto the bed and crawled towards me.

"Are you ready?" she asked sweetly

"Yeah" I said breathlessly. She was beautiful her body was amazing and it only made me realize how right this was. Any feelings I had for Ryan were pushed to the back of my mind while we where together.

She leaned in and kissed me on my lips. They were soft and tasted good against my own she leaned her body against mine and the skin on skin contact felt good. I closed my eyes and she moved her lips down to my neck and began nipping and kissing. It felt amazing she continued to kiss down my neck to my collar bone and I threw my head back in pleasure. Her hands wandered all over my chest and I let out a small moan of pleasure. It felt so right to have her do this but that's all I felt… her lips kissing my chest and the amazing feeling of being touched in a way I have never been touched was great but that's all I felt there was no spark there was no love there was no want it was all physical there was no love in what was happening. Why didn't I want this? I had wanted to do this for so long and I had found someone who I loved to do it with why wasn't that enough. Maybe because I don't love her.

Her hand crept down to cup my budge and I let out a groan of pleasure. It felt so good but it's not what I wanted. Not like this and definitely not here or with her. How could I be so insensitive I was about to have sex for the first time in the guest bedroom of the guy who was completely in love with me but with someone else. What am I doing this is not right. I felt a hand reach into my under where and grab a hold of my penis and I couldn't stop myself from screaming out.

"Ryan" I moaned and the hand quickly emerged from the waistband of my underwear.

What did you just say?" Gabi asked looking up at me. My eyes snapped open had I just said Ryan's name? I meant to say Gabi but I had said Ryan instead. She looked at me as if I was crazy and that's when the weight of the world came crashing down on me. The reason I had said Ryan was because the idea of having sex sounded all too good if it was with him. I thought I wanted this and I did in a sense just not with Gabi.

"I …. I" I mumbled while I moved across the bed away from Gabi. The idea of being naked beside her didn't seem all that appealing any more and all I wanted was to get out of this situation.

"Did you just say Ryan?" she asked with a look of hurt on her face.

" I have to go I cant do this" I jumped off of the bed and pulled on my jeans and then my shirt all the while Gabi sat on the bed confused as to what had just happened.

"What's wrong troy?" she asked her voice cracking and I knew tears would soon follow "did I do something wrong?"

I sighed and frowned at her "this has nothing to do with you Gabi I'm sorry I'm sorry that I led you on I shouldn't have but I can't be with you"

"why not?" she said" I love you troy"

I grimaced as she said this. I didn't want it to be this way I wish I had never been with her to begin with. "I'm sorry"

I left the room quickly and ran down the hall towards Ryan's room. I had to see him I had to hold him and tell him that I loved him. I needed to know that what I was feeling was real I needed to know that he was the one and that I wasn't making a mistake walking out on Gabi and breaking her heart. I flung the door open and found the room completely empty. Shit! I made my way back down the hall towards the stairs down to the party which at this point was in full swing with more then just the cast an crew attending. I scanned the main room where most of the attendees occupied looking for Ryan but I couldn't see him anywhere but who I did see was someone who could help me.

"Kelsey" I yelled as I approached a group of girls sitting at the island counter among then was Taylor and Martha who would soon enough hear of me walking out on Gabi.

"Troy..?" she asked but I cut her off there was no time for small talk.

"Where is Ryan?" I asked

"I don't know he said he was going to stick around when we left the school but that was over an hour ago… troy"

But I was already crossing the room towards the door. I had to get to the school I had to get to Ryan.

Enter Gabi

What just happened? It was so perfect the timing the atmosphere everything was great. Why did he leave why did he say Ryan?

I didn't know what to do. I continued to sit on the bed in nothing but my undergarments looking at the door hoping he would come back and say it was all a joke but I knew that was just wishful thinking. I thought he loved me he told me he did before and we where so happy where did this sudden change come from?

I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. This was embarrassing it made me feel cheep Like I wasn't good enough for him. I couldn't show my face down there not while he was here. I still didn't know what exactly happened did he break up with me? And what did he mean when he said Ryan's name? The obvious answer was not something I could even believe. There was no way… troy wasn't gay.

But when I thought about it, it made the most sense he had been spending almost all of his free time with Ryan and he knew he was gay so maybe troy was gay why else would he say Ryan's name like that? With me he said his name when he was about to make love to me. He was thinking about Ryan. That was yet another blow to myself esteem. My head was swimming with unanswered questions and hurt.

A/N

aww poor gabi trust me there will be drama with that one but on a lighter note troy loves ryan and i left a week long cliff hanger so yeah... the next chapter is my fave and you will know why as soon as i post it because it ms my first smut chapter but i cant post it for a whole week ... maybe longer D= i know i am so mean but you will just enjoy it more once it is here

anywho thank you to all of the people that reviewed even if one was just a dick commenting on my spelling and (sigh) i know i am no good at spelling but i would say it is not that bad it seems to be readable and thank you to nek0-sama you're words inspire me to keep writeing this fic =D and it shows that clearly it is readable