a/n: HAM EVRY1

I don't want your ham, thank you very much.

ITZ BEEN 4EVAR!1 my mom trid to make me wear a drezz n i had a tanttrum n brok da computer n slit muh ritz. but no we got a new one lolz?

What a lovely child you are.

neway TONX FOR DA REVEWS WHILE I WAZ GONE, FUKK ALL U PREPS WHO HATE MI STORI! I SWERE ILL GET SATAN TO KILL U IN UR SLEEP U FUKKING POZERS!

That's okay, I'll just get Dean Winchester.

666 XXX MCR STILL ROX!11 XXX

What about 'Fagg Ot Boy'?

CHAPTER 11

The next day I was walking 2 Hot Tonic wif Edward.

Good thinking, Twila. I could use a drink.

When suddenly out of nowhere Hamez appered out of da blue.

Hamez: " Oh, Hey there! I mean, Hola. Hehe."

"Hi," we said gothically. But he looked very angery for some raisin.

" Hamez does not approve of dried grape!"

"Would you mind if I killed you,"

" No, not at all, please do."

he storted to sing from dat song by Withen Temptortion. "OMG STOP!111" Edward screamed jumping in front of me. I was so confuzed becuz I did nut know what was going on. Then I realized Hamez was trying to kill us.

That was random.

"Why would u do such a thing you- you sick dirtbag!" I cried wearing a long black satan skirt wif black leather boots and a ripped fishnet ponchu over a black velvet bra with red skullz.

Who cares what you are wearing? And he's a dirtbag for singing to you...

Mi makup was ruining down my pale pale face. BECUZ I WAS WEEPIGN.

Are your tear ducts ruptured or something? You're crying all the time.

"Now that Bellar is dead I don't ned your help." Hamez said as he also sobbed. "I don't want 2 do this but I have to. I'm afroid that . . . . . . . . . . . ."

Would you like to buy a vowel, Hamez?

"I DARE U TO FINNISH THAT SENTENCE." Edmond muttered at the top of his lungz.

If Edward muttered at the top of his lungs, he wouldn't be muttering, he would be yelling.

He turned into a bat and flew at Hamez but Victor leaped in front of him.

Who the hell is Victor? Where are these people coming from?

"Who are you?" we all screamed exempt Hamez becuz she was his gf. She had jumped out of da trees. Then we decided 2 make up because we had no reason to fight (A/N maybe later u will find out what hamez was goona say be4 lolol.)

These chapters are getting pointless. I want Hamez to rip both their heads off and then me and him can walk off into the sunset. Free from the horror that is this story.

Vikroya was wearing a realli sexah outfit

Victor's suddenly become a girl.

and Edward saw me looking at her and got realli jealouuz. He storted 2 make out wif Hamez to get bakk at me. "Oh no WHAT HAVE U DONE, OMG YOU FREAKING ARSE." Vikky shooted at my busband.

'Busband'? Are you in a band like ' Bloody Gothic Rose 666'?

"You just entered da pakt with Hamez." That was when we found out dat whenever someone kissez Hamez they get binded to him for da rest of eternity. "WTF that's so random."

My thoughts exactly.

I laffed satanically. Edward looked realli scarered but I just said "It's okay, I like bi guyz so you can be with him too."

Vikky disappered becuz she was mad that Edward stole her boyfreend. Then me, Edward and Hamez had to preform a special marriage cermoney for the 3 of us to all be together. We all wore lots of black. "That is all." said Hamez looking at me flirty. "Now we have 2 seal the pact by dranking sum blood."

We all had an orgay nd went out to hunt.

There's the sex orgy I was looking for.

We found a whorewolf

Are you trying to tell us something, Twila?

und were about 2 kill it when I relized it was Jakob. He changed back into a person and I gasped. His long blak hair had purple and silver streakz in it, his skin was ten shads lighter, and he was wering an Alezana tshirt wif tight blak pantz.

Jacob! No! I need to go cry for a while now.

"Omg Jake, um." I said shy and sexy. "Hi u look realli good?"

No he doesn't, change him back!

"Thanx i got a new style" he said and looked at all of us. "Since you killed my dad I got real hordcore. Hey guyz can I join ur pakt."

We had a sekret goffic huddle

" You cover the linebacker, I'll get the quarterback. Okay, on three. One, two, three. Brake!"

nd thout about it but they got angry and said no. Jakob storted to cry becuz we had killed his dad and now we owed him. But Vikatora rolled her eyez, "Yea thatz karma" she pissed.

She pissed? And when did she get here? What did Jacob do? Edward was the one who killed his dad...

But then he turned back in2 a wolf and tried to attack us. I turned into a bat and flew out of tha way but Hamez waz too slow.

Dun Dun Duun...

I screamed suicidally as Jakabob

Jakabob! That's even better then Jabob!

was about to tear apart Hamz who suddenly shooted "IF I DIE THEN U ALL DIE, REMEMBER DA PAKT WE ARE TOGETHER 4 EVER." We were all horrorfied at dis.

" I thought we covered that in orientation?" " Mm. Nope, I don't think so."

So we had to save him but we got all cut up but Edward said "Its okay Twi, you look exy with blood on you."

If she looks so 'sexeh' with blood on her, why don't you kill her Edward? The world would be a better place. Do it. Do it. Do it.

So we ran away and Jake got lost in the woods.

Jacob, quick, run! Run as hard and fast as you can, you'll be free!

XXXXXXXXXXXX FIN CHAPTER 11 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

One chapter left. Oh thank the Gods...