A/N: Okay, well this one came faster than I expected it to. I just finished the series run-through again, and it makes me feel all the feels. I can't believe the show ended the way it did, but they had to do what they had to do I guess. I still think it's crap that Stana was fired from the show, but I'd rather not relive that mess lol.

I thought I'd write one more pretty fluffy chapter before getting back to the gritty parts. This story has mostly been about Kate's relationship with Lily, so I think I'm going to really explore that over the next few chapters. I've always wondered how Kate Beckett would be as a mother, and find that it's complicated but fun to write and discover. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and hopefully I'll have another one up as quickly as this one!

-Charahfan44

The 12th Precinct - 2020

Kate Beckett wasn't sure this was going to work. She had only just given birth to her twin boys five months before, and she was already back at work. Everyone had suggested she take more time off, but she was the Captain. She couldn't spend anymore time away from the precinct than necessary. She felt fine, she felt ready to work, but things were overwhelming with Castle's book tour starting. Alexis had come back to spend a few weeks helping Beckett with the kids, but it wasn't the same without Castle there. On days like this, she barely had time to drop Lily off with the nanny in the morning, and she had to bring the twins to work with her. Luckily, she had the best playard money could buy, and stuck them in there for as long as they would stay.

"You got a second, cap?" Esposito said, walking into the office.

"Shh!" She immediately put a finger to her lips. "They've been asleep for about twenty minutes." She whispered.

"Sorry." Espo whispered back. "I was just wondering if you had looked at my time off request yet."

"I'm sorry, Espo. I haven't had much time to review staff inquiries." She rubbed her face in her hands. "I'll look at it today."

"Not sleeping?" He sat down in the chair facing her desk.

"Not really." She sighed. "It's hard with Castle gone."

"I thought Alexis and Martha were helping?"

"They can only do so much. Alexis is trying to keep up with work and Martha has her final play." Beckett replied. Martha was retiring from acting after she finished a local production of Romeo and Juliet.

"Must be a lot." He nodded.

"You have no idea." She agreed. "With Lily it was easier. One kid is nothing compared to three."

"If you need me and Ryan to watch them for a bit so you can go get some air, just let us know. We'll make sure they stay put." He smiled.

"Thanks, Espo." She returned the smile.

"Speaking of, Jenny is pregnant with baby number five." He added. "I don't know how they do it."

"I can't imagine having five." She looked over at the boys, noticing Jake starting to wake up. "Three is plenty." She walked over to the playard, picking up the youngest of the two, bouncing him slightly as he rubbed his eyes.

"Which one is that?" Espo asked.

"This one is Jake." Beckett smiled at her son, who looked back at her with big eyes and a smile.

"How can you tell?"

"I don't really know." She frowned. "I guess a mother just can. Plus, I put him in green this morning." She winked.

"Color coding, smart."

"It helps on stressful days."

"Man, if I knew you were bringing the boys, I would've brought Charlie." Ryan appeared in the doorway. His youngest son was a year old, and full of energy.

"I'll warn you next time." She laughed. As if one cue, Reese started to cry. "Will you take Jake for me?" She handed him over to Ryan, grabbing Reese out of the playard next.

"They're getting so big." Ryan resumed the bouncing.

"You're telling me. We had to get them nine month clothes because they won't stop eating."

"How's Jake's heart thing?"

"We have him going to monthly check ups. Nothing new has happened, so they think he's going to be okay." Beckett explained. "The doctor says some kids just grow out of it." Reese stopped crying, laying his head on Beckett's shoulder.

"He definitely seems to be mommy's boy." Espo said.

"It's about time one of my kids is. They can't all like Castle better." She joked.

"Oh come on, Beckett. Still bitter about that?" Castle's voice sounded from the doorway.

"Castle?" Beckett walked over to her husband, planting a kiss on him. "What are you doing here?" She felt herself getting emotional.

"They cancelled my signing this weekend, so I thought I'd spend it at home instead of my secret bachelor pad in Chicago." He said with a sly smile. "Good thing I did, you stuck Lily with the crazy nanny."

"She isn't crazy." Beckett gave him a look.

"Anywho, I saved her all the same." He said.

"She's here?" Beckett asked, looking out the window of her office. "Castle, tell me you didn't give her crayons without paper."

"Of course not." He laughed. "It's me."

"Then why is she coloring Espo's desk?" Beckett raised a brow.

"What?" Esposito jumped out of the chair.

"Pretty." Lily looked up at her uncle with big brown eyes.

"Castle!" He yelled.

"Quick, Ryan, hand me the baby." Castle outstretched his arms.

"You are not using our son as a shield." Beckett said. "You did this all by yourself."

"Fine. We'll talk later." He ran out of the office, just before Esposito could reach him. They spent a good five minutes running through the halls of the precinct before settling down. Beckett shook her head as she watched, listening to Lily's tiny laugh ring through the main area. She loved her family, and she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Dr. Lewis' Office - Present Day

A few weeks had passed since my first session with the therapist, and things couldn't have been going better. Every week I seemed to open up a bit more, and accept things that I hadn't wanted to before. Things had been weird at home, and I knew my parents were keeping something from me.

"So, what's next?" I asked.

"What would you like to do next?" Dr. Lewis asked back.

"I don't know. I wish my mom and dad would be straight up with me instead of keeping me in the dark."

"Maybe they're trying to protect you." He suggested. "Parents tend to do that."

"And I get it. They want me to be safe, but how can I be safe if I don't know what I need to be safe from?"

"Why don't you ask them?"

"They're not the easiest people to talk to. My dad is, but my mom is like this steel trap. Once she has her mind set on something, she won't do anything else. If she doesn't want me to know what's up, I won't."

"I think that's our next step." He started writing on his notepad.

"What, me beating it out of her?" I laughed.

"No, we bring her in for a session."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." He replied. "A lot of your root pain has to do with her."

"What makes you say that?"

"You have a lot to say about her every session."

"Well duh, she's my mom." I joked. "Most kids have a lot to say about their parents."

"There's something unique about the way you see her. I think we should visit it with her here." He said. "But you need to have the courage to ask."

"I'll try." I shrugged. "I can't guarantee I'll get her here."

"All you can do is try." He smiled. "Unfortunately, our time is up." He pointed to the clock on the wall behind me.

"I'll see you next week." I stood up.

"Bring her along." He called after me as I left the room. Mom was waiting in a chair in the lobby today, which was odd.

"Hey." She smiled up at me. "Done?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "What're you doing up here?"

"I was early." I could tell she was lying.

"Okay." I didn't want to push it. As we walked down to the car, I couldn't help but notice her looking around. Without drawing too much attention, I looked at her side and saw her gun attached to her hip. "Mom?"

"What's up?" She opened my door for me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Of course, why?"

"I just feel like there's something going on that you aren't telling me." I frowned.

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know, maybe the constant security detail, or the fact that you always have your gun on you?" I pointed to her waist. "It's not normal behavior."

"You noticed them, huh?"

"It wasn't hard." I said. "What is going on?"

"Get in." She nodded to the inside of the car. "I'll tell you on the way home."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Fine." I slid into the passenger seat, waiting for her to give me all of the details. We drove for a few minutes without a word, so I broke the tension. "Does it have anything to do with my kidnapping?"

"Maybe." She let out a breath. "We aren't sure."

"But there's a possibility?" I felt my heart start to race. "Am I going to get taken again?"

"No." She said it with such force that I was almost scared of her. "There is no way in hell that anyone is getting their hands on you again. I promise you that." She looked at me, then back to the road.

"What happened to freak you out?"

"When Diego Price first started his trafficking ring, he took a girl named Erica Lyons. They developed some kind of relationship, and he never sold her to anyone. When you went missing, we asked her if she knew where he was. And a few weeks ago, she turned up dead."

"So you think he's back?"

"We aren't sure. We've been tricked before." She replied. "We're just being overly cautious at this point."

"I get it." I nodded. "One-hundred percent. I'll keep the detail."

"I'm glad you agree with us, but you didn't really have a choice either way." She gave me a half-smile. "Look, we're going to find out who killed her. But until we do, I don't want you to worry. You're safe, and you're going to stay that way."

"I believe you." I said. "Oh, uh, Dr. Lewis wanted me to talk to you about something." I felt like now would be a good time to change the subject.

"Okay." She said.

"Well, he wanted me to ask you if you'd come sit in on the next session."

"Sure." She agreed. "Is there a certain reason?" She was smart enough to know that something was happening.

"He said that our relationship is weird." I tried summing his words up in the nicest way possible.

"How so?" She asked. I didn't know how to answer.

"I'm not exactly sure." I shrugged.

"Well, is there something we need to talk about?"

"Not necessarily."

"But there is something?" She was trying her best not to interrogate me, but she knew I was hiding something. It's funny, because I didn't even know what it was I was hiding.

"He just wanted me to ask you if you'd come."

"I'll be there."

"Are you sure? I know you're busy." I didn't want to face our problems, mostly because I didn't want to admit there were any.

"Lily," She looked at me, "I'm going to be there." I forced a smile before turning my head back to the window. I had to come clean to her. I had to tell her how I felt. But, I sure as hell didn't want to.

Thomas Jefferson Park - 2022

Castle wasn't exactly sure where his youngest daughter had gotten her sports itch from. The writer had never really expressed an interest in sports, and Beckett hardly had time to watch baseball since the kids were born. She and Jim had taken Lily to one game when she was five, but other than that the home had been supplied with books and non-sports related toys. Today was Lily's very first soccer game. She had started kicking a ball the previous year, but Castle didn't sign her up until just a few months ago. She looked so cute in her little blue uniform, ready to go.

"Dad! Hey!" Alexis Castle walked up to her father, Jake and Reese on either side of her, holding her hands. "It was hard to find parking."

"I know, sorry about that." He gave a sheepish look.

"Gram should be here soon." She said. "Where's Lily?"

"Warming up over there." Castle pointed to a bunch of little figures running around laughing.

"I can't believe she wanted to play soccer." Alexis looked at her sister.

"Right?" Castle said loudly. "I thought she would've written a short story before picking up a ball." He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, so he dug it out and answered it.

"Castle, I'm not gonna make it." His wife's voice on the other end seemed upset.

"Everything okay?"

"There was a stabbing downtown, and we're short-staffed right now with Thanksgiving coming up. I have to go." She sighed. "Do you think she's going to be upset?"

"I don't know that she'll notice." He tried reassuring her. "There's so many of us here that it'll make up for you."

"If she asks, tell her I'm sorry." Beckett said. "I gotta go. Wish her luck for me." With that, she hung up.

"Beckett can't make it?" Alexis asked, noticing his facial expression.

"No." He looked down.

"No mommy?" Reese asked.

"No mommy." Castle picked his son up. "But we are going to cheer extra loud for Lily." He smiled. The four of them made their way over to the field, where the game was about to start.

"I didn't miss anything did I?" Martha glided elegantly toward her family.

"Mother, glad you could make it." Castle gave her a hug.

"It's a big occasion, of course I'm here." She replied. "Where's Katherine?"

"She had a case come up." Alexis gave her grandmother a 'don't-bring-it-up' look.

"Oh well, there will be plenty more games."

"Right, so let's just start by focusing on this one." Castle nodded to the field. "She looks so confident." He noticed his daughter among the other kids, a look of determination on her face.

"Yay Lily!" Jake yelled.

"Yay Lily!" Reese echoed. "Kick the ball!" The game started on time, and the family watched as Lily did her thing. Castle was amazed at how good she was at just seven years old. Although it didn't take much for a child of that age to be good, he recognized a certain skill she had when it came to the sport.

"You know, Richard, she's actually fairly good at this." Martha said over the cheering sidelines.

"I completely agree with you for once." He said back. The game raged on, and was over in a matter of forty minutes. Lily's team lost, which clearly caused some upset in her eyes.

"You played really well." Alexis tried cheering the younger Castle up. "You scored two goals!"

"But we lost." Lily hung her head.

"I have a hard time losing, Lil. You'll learn to deal with it." Castle placed a hand on his daughter's back. "It'll sting for a bit, but you'll feel better after some ice cream."

"Ice cream?" She looked up at her father. "Are we talking double scoop?"

"For the way you played, we'll make it triple." He was amazed at how old she was already sounding. The ride to their favorite parlor downtown was fun, filled with sing alongs and endless amounts of giggling. Castle made sure that Lily didn't feel the absence of Beckett. They all got home at a decent time, finishing the afternoon with the worlds longest game of Chutes and Ladders.

"You're going down, old man." Lily gave her father her best intimidating glare.

"In your dreams, young grasshopper." He returned the look.

"I don't know, dad. She seems pretty determined." Alexis said in amusement.

"The only person who's ever beat your father at a board game is Katherine." Martha reminded her granddaughter.

"I don't know, it looks like that's about to change." Beckett walked through the doorway to the living room.

"Mommy!" The boys rushed their mother in a heap of energy.

"Shh! You're ruining my concentration." Lily warned, keeping her eyes on the board. Taking one final spin, she closed her eyes and held her breath.

"Are you kidding me?" Castle's voice caused the little girl to open her eyes. She had spun the exact number to get her the win.

"Ha!" She jumped up. "I told you!"

"That was amazing." Alexis gave her a high five.

"I've never felt so defeated." Castle frowned.

"Not even when I beat you at Scrabble three games in a row?" Beckett teased.

"No, because you made up for it with an even better game." He gave her a mischievous grin, remembering their night of strip poker. She shot him a glance, causing the two of them to laugh at the inside joke.

"How was the game?" Beckett looked to her daughter.

"Fine." Lily shrugged.

"That's all I get?"

"Lily did great. I think we should keep signing her up as long as she wants." Castle replied.

"Honestly, I don't know that I've ever been more on edge watching a seven-year-old kick a ball around." Alexis agreed.

"Five star review on your soccer debut." Martha winked.

"How about we don't talk about it?" Lily snapped, running up to her room.

"Did they win?" Beckett asked.

"No." Castle said. "But we had fun after the game."

"She wasn't upset a few minutes ago." Alexis added.

"I think I know what changed." Beckett sighed. "I've got this one." She made her way up the stairs to Lily's room, already knowing what to expect when she walked in. She was changing out of her soccer uniform, and into her favorite set of purple pajamas.

"I don't want to talk to you." Lily had no problems being blunt.

"Jammies already, huh?" Beckett sat on the twin bed. "You must be pretty mad at me."

"You should've been there." Lily avoided her mother's eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby. I wanted to be there, and I had every intention to be, but something came up."

"Something always comes up." She frowned.

"Hey, look at me," Beckett took the child's hands in hers, "I don't want you to think that anything is more important to me than you or your brothers. I would do anything for the three of you. But, sometimes my job takes me away from the important things."

"Why?"

"Because as important as you are, I can help someone else who was just as important to their family too." Beckett did her best to explain it in a way that Lily would understand. It didn't usually take much dumbing down for the seven-year-old. After only two years at her private school, it was obvious she was gifted with an extraordinary brain.

"I wish you were there."

"I promise you, I'll be at the next one."

"You won't break it?" Lily met Beckett's eyes.

"Cross my heart." She stated. "But I do want to hear about how good you were today. How about we go back downstairs, and spend some time with the rest of our family?"

"Okay." A smile spread across Lily's face. The two walked hand in hand back down to the rest of the group. Beckett looked around as Lily reenacted the best parts of the game, with the help of the boys of course. She loved her family, and she wanted to make sure they never felt neglected again.