LM Simpson's tidbits: Writer's block sucks. I'm so sorry this chapter took so long. Hopefully I'll be able to update more often during spring break the week after next.

Thanks for being so patient!

Phase Two: Zick beside Teddy

Chapter Eleven: Primal Instinct

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Zick was incredulous—he was genuinely missing school, not just declaring it because he thought he was about to be killed for once. The neighborhood was often so quiet and empty it was as if he was the last man on Earth. Daytime consisted of Greta in the greenhouse and him watching celebrity talk shows, soap operas, and reruns of long-canceled series (Who still watches Diff'rent Strokes?) either alone or with the occasional monster. Now that he was going to earn a zero on it anyway, he did not bother to read "Song of Myself," or do any other homework he had been assigned before Monday morning. Elena was with her mother and siblings running errands, so calling her was not an option. When television became a torture device he surfed online before he found himself listlessly looking up whatever thought blossomed in his mind (even if it was gobblygook), plus his name twice. Masturbating in his locked room occupied time… Ten minutes of it. By then, boredom completely plagued his mind. Right after coming, he spread himself across the bed and closed his eyes.

His dreams were always weird, and this one was no exception. This one found him in sepia tone and a textbook silent movie scene. He saw himself at age twelve dressed in a cowboy movie bandit costume, running into the horizon with a sack of cash. Zick wanted to know what the hell his younger self was doing, but couldn't—he was tied to railroad tracks. The sun blinded him at first, so he did not realize at first why the hell he had long hair, a dress, and breasts. He did realize, however, what was going on. He opened his mouth to scream, but no audio came out. Crap—even in a dream he didn't want to get squashed by a train.

Suddenly, the sun was blocked. He could barely make out the obstruction's outline at first, but as it became clearer, he could see it was a flyvan driven by Teddy. From the ten-gallon hat to the spurred boots he was the quintessential American movie cowboy. He looked so rugged and dashing that it was only the fact a train was about to flatten him that prevented Zick from paying all of his attention to his savior-to-be.

Teddy hopped off and dashed towards the jeopardized "damsel." Zick "whimpered" as the train came closer. Soon after, however, the cowboy was at his feet. He squatted down and placed a palm just above the rope hugging Zick's sides. A blast of energy singed the knotted hemp so that he could just pull Zick off the tracks; once he was just barely off the tracks, the train flew past them. Hugging, the two smiled at each other, tilted their heads towards each other's faces and began to kiss.

Zick abruptly woke up for no reason other than to wake up. What the… he thought.

He looked at his clock. Four o' clock. "It's already four? Oh, wait, it's Friday… Oh wait, it's Friday! I'm supposed to be at Dad's in a while!" He jumped off his bed and rushed under there for his suitcase.

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When he arrived, it was, for once, not Zob that was the first to talk to him.

"Zob?" Terrence called from the living room. "Is that you?"

"No, it's Zick. Where's Dad?"

"Running some errand; he didn't really say what."

"And Teddy?"

"In your room," Teddy called.

He smiled. "I'm coming, Teddy!"

Zick turned the corner and opened the first door on the right. On the left side of the room was Teddy on his bed. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, a padded, zippered vest, long pants, and brown hiking boots.

"Hey, Teddy… Are we going somewhere?"

"Yeah… but just the two of us. Dad hasn't allowed me out except the anger management and I really wanna just get out of here and be free."

"So we're having a date of sorts?"

Teddy shrugged. "I guess you can call it that… Say, do you have any idea where the universal dombox is?"

"I think… Why?"

"I thought that I'd let you choose where to go after we eat. I don't care where—just get me the hell out of here!"

Zick grinned. "Lift your legs; I think it's under my bed…"

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Wow, it's been awhile since I've done this, Zick thought after stopping his bike. When exactly was the last time? Definitely years—why, maybe it was shortly after the divorce; it just did not feel right afterwards, after having his hero's image tarnished like that.

"You're kidding me, right?" Teddy laughed nervously. "Right?"

"Nope. 'Remember this place!"

"Of course I do! Elena, you, and I were the first time we hunted for monsters together. I almost got eaten by a dark phantom and his dog and I was covered in fermented fouler gunk at the end of it."

"… I don't remember the last part."

"Of course, you don't! It was after I got home; I smelled like shit for days afterward…"

"… Oh. We can go somewhere else, then. I just thought, y'know, for nostalgic reasons…"

"No, no, it's fine; it's just—"

"If you're going to have a lot of bad memories, Teddy, I think we should go somewhere else."

"No, no—"

"Yes, yes, let's go." Zick grabbed his handlebars; "Come on; I know another place."

The field was a best-kept secret of sorts to the locals. The normally pale golden brush was darker in the dark blue gray backdrop. A low breeze blew it back and chilled the air to remind them autumn was near.

"You think you're ready, Zick?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. Not doing this is like torture for a tamer."

Teddy grinned. "You have read my mind," he said as he stepped into the brush. Zick stayed a step behind him before speed walking to catch up.

While they hiked through the straw, other creatures confirmed their presence, making obvious noises as they scurried from place to place. The tamers pursued them in the hope they were about to encounter monsters. All ended in failures; by the time the sky was a darker shade of blue and the field was almost completely explored, the boys interacted with squirrels, birds, rabbits, stray cats, mice, and a lone hedgehog.

"Dammit," Teddy said as they walked in downtown Old Mill, "you'd think we'd find something there, considering how busy it was!"

"Yeah…" Zick sighed. His stomach growled. "Can we just get something to eat and go back to the apartment?"

Teddy sighed himself. "S—" there was a racket that resembled a metallic garbage can falling to the ground in a back alley. "Come on, Zick, I'm not in the mood to deal with muggers right now."

He grasped Zick's wrist and started walking; Zick pulled away. "Teddy…" His lips curled into a smile. "I don't think it's muggers. I think that sound was made by a—"

"Monster?" His expression brightened.

Zick nodded. "And I'm not sneezing, so it should be a quick, safe, catch. Care for a little detour, Teddy?"

He cracked his knuckles. "You know it!"

Immediately after entering the alley the noise occurred in, Teddy regretted his decision. The orange glow of the light situated over the back of the store revealed a trash can on the ground, a lengthy string of trash pouring from it, and a fouler digging into it. Garbage spread as the fouler pushed aside some as it consumed more.

Zick emitted a guffaw. "'Looks like we're going to can a fouler tonight no matter what we're doing, Teddy!"

"Can we just go, please? Please please?"

"Teddy, you wanted to can a monster, and we're going to can a fucking monster, even if it is a fouler!"

Teddy frowned, annoyed. "Okay, but if we do this, we're going to do it anally the next time we fuck. You get what you want, I get what I want. Deal?"

Zick winced; he definitely was not ready for anal yet. But he had waited for this for four years, so he reluctantly said, "Deal."

Teddy grinned and matched Zick's knee quaking. The younger tamer whispered, "I can't believe I'm about to do this," as he slowly removed the universal dombox from his backpack.

The main compartment's zipper was open, the dombox's cool handle was cupped by his fingers, he had not disturbed the monster yet… Good, good… He was still grasping it, he was raising it… Stay, stay, good… Teddy, quit that whimpering! Okay, it's halfway out… Teddy, calm down—I've seen chickens more dangerous! Okay, almost, almost, it's slipping away from one last piece of junk… Out!

Teddy was still whimpering, only increasing in volume and intensity. As he inspected the dombox, he asked, "What's the matter with you? It's just a single fouler!"

Teddy pointed a shaking finger in front of him. "You call that 'a single fouler?'"

Zick looked up and gaped. There was no longer one, but a party feasting on trash. One flipped over another can, while two others bit at each other over what appeared to be some rancid meat. He mentally counted the new population, which was difficult because many zipped in and out. "Um… I think… there's ten now. How did it get that big that fast?"

"They're the cockroaches of the monster world. For everyone you see, there's a hundred more." Teddy took a step backwards.

Zick grabbed his arm. "Don't you dare!"

The trash became less plentiful. The foulers grew more aggressive towards their share of the land of milk and honey. Teddy ducked to avoid a flung apple core and the two began to scatter as a garbage and monster fight intensified. Both were pelted multiple times and Zick was hit in the face with a pot of sneezing powder. His sinuses suffered the consequences virtually non-stop; it wasn't long before the foulers stopped fighting and scattered from the scene.

Zick attempted to remove his inhaler. "I-choo!-can't-choo!-STOP!-choo!"

"How much was in there?" Teddy picked up the universal dombox and placed it in Zick's backpack. He flung it over his shoulder.

His eyes were red, swollen, and watery. "Pretty much-choo!-full!" A loud sneeze followed. He groaned.

Teddy breathed in hard. "Come on, let's go home, Boo Boo Bear. Both of us look and smell like shit." He wrapped an arm just above Zick's elbow.

Zick kept sneezing and did his best to do so away from Teddy. With his other hand, Teddy dug into his pants pocket and removed a handkerchief. "Here."

Zick sneezed again. He grabbed it and sneezed into it again immediately afterwards. "Tha—choo!"

"No proble—"He froze. "There's more?"

A growl behind them responded. The monster's shadow covered them. "Teddy... Choo!- That's no foul-choo!"

Teddy tilted his head up. "Oh crap…" A blue eat everything bonz was right behind him. "Zick… we run at one… two… THREE!"

Both screamed as the hunters became the hunted. Four years of inactivity and outright terror caused them to forget that it was possible to stop the monster with a simple command before capturing it. The bonz roared as it trailed right behind them, striking trash cans lined along the alley. The tamers began to sputter before they heard another voice boom, "Leave them alone!"

The bonz froze against its will. The boys stopped as well to look at it. Zick suddenly remembered something—"Teddy, where's the-atchoo!-universal dombox?"

Teddy let go off Zick's arm and patted his pant pockets. He felt a bulge out of his right pocket and fished it out. "Here!" He shoved it to Zick. The other tamer grabbed it and aimed it at the monster. It opened and in a flash, the monster was engulfed by a wide beam of light that just as quickly re-entered the device. A voice spat out and illustrated the statistics:

"Species: eat everything bonz. Danger level: high. Status: canned."

"Phew!"

"Zick? Teddy? What are you two doing here?"

The two looked up. Zob was in front of them.

"Oh, hi, Dad… How did you know we were here?"

"I was just about to get into my car to go home when I heard you two screaming."

"Oh. Well then… Can you bring us home, then?"

Zob was holding his nose. "Definitely! You guys smell like you really need a shower! Come on, let's go…"

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Zick pulled back the yellowing shower curtain and turned on the faucet. After setting it to shower mode, he moved back and turned to the clothes hamper. Teddy was already completely naked and grabbing an extra towel under the sink.

"It's a good thing no one noticed us going into the bathroom," Teddy said. "Otherwise, I'd wonder what our dads would be thinking…"

Zick's pants dropped to the floor. "I'd think they'd be wondering whose fault it was before accusing our moms."

Teddy snorted. "Yeah, maybe…"

Zick dropped his boxers into the hamper and entered the shower. Teddy followed and entered behind him. Zick was washing himself with soap when Teddy's arms wrapped around his stomach. The older tamer's chin met the back of Zick's neck.

Zick groaned. "Not right now, Teddy—I've gotten dirty enough for one day."