The Best Man
Theme #8: Say it LOUD!

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Remus couldn't deny that Lily looked beautiful. She was finally married to James, and the said man looked beside himself with happiness. Remus was happy for them. They'd looked stunning at the wedding.

He moodily swirled the contents of his drink, wishing that he could be part of that happiness. The last week hadn't been his best. It was Sirius' fault, but it was also, mostly, his own fault.

He'd avoided Sirius' eye the entire wedding. He hadn't wanted to have to have uncomfortable conversations with the best man. Remus supposed he was a coward in that sense, but he feared what he would say if left alone with Sirius.

They'd been together for a couple months. Those that mattered knew—James, Lily, and Peter. But Remus was having his doubts.

He took a sip of his drink sadly.

Remus was at fault. Sirius couldn't be blamed. But Remus could certainly feel that it was Sirius' fault. In the end, it was for the better. Remus was too dangerous for Sirius.

So lost in his thoughts and faulty justifications, Remus didn't realize that Sirius was standing next to him until it was too late for the flighty werewolf to run away.

"Remus," Sirius began but the werewolf quickly turned away, looking at the buffet table for a suitable excuse not to speak with Sirius.

He walked briskly and grabbed a piece of cake before stuffing it into his mouth and chewing slowly. That way he wouldn't have to talk to Sirius.

"Remus," Sirius said again, following after the werewolf. He scowled angrily and pursed his lips. "God damn it, listen to me."

Remus stuffed another piece of food into his mouth and continued chewing. He refused to meet Sirius' gaze.

"You've been avoiding me," Sirius hissed. Well, no sense in calling Sirius dull. But, then again, anyone with eyes would be able to tell he'd been avoiding Sirius all night. James had been giving him strange looks throughout the course of the night, too.

"I have not," Remus said, trying his hardest not to sound weak. He reached for another piece of food but Sirius moved his body to block Remus' way towards the buffet. Sirius glared at him. Remus dared not meet Sirius' eyes as he gazed dully into his glass of champagne.

"You have," Sirius said angrily, and because Remus was looking at his drink, the werewolf missed Sirius' hurt expression.

"Don't you have a speech to make?" Remus asked evasively. "You are the best man."

"God damn it, Remus, stop avoiding me," Sirius said, the tiniest bit of pleading in his voice.

Remus sighed. "Sirius…"

"I meant what I said," Sirius said darkly. "You may not believe me, but I know what I feel and I know what I want. I love you, Remus."

Remus stared moodily down at his drink. "You should go say your speech soon, Sirius."

"You always do this!" Sirius said and was nearly tempted to stomp his foot in frustration. "You always avoid confronting this kind of stuff! I'm not lying, Remus. I don't understand why you're doing this."

"It doesn't matter," Remus told his drink and looked for a possible escape route. It seemed as if Sirius was everywhere, suffocating him.

Remus felt alone in the world. He was cursed to be alone. He had to spare Sirius.

"I'm in love with you, Remus," Sirius hissed. "I don't care who hears me. I love you, you bloody git."

Remus blushed and looked rather put-out by Sirius' confession. He hoped no one had heard. He didn't want to deal with this. Not now.

"I can't, Sirius," Remus said regretfully.

"Why the hell not?" Sirius said quietly, and Remus didn't miss the hurt in his voice. Remus clenched his eyes shut.

"Please don't do this," Remus begged. He wished this was easier. Sirius stepped forward and grabbed him.

Sirius was hugging him hard and Remus could do nothing to push him away. The black-haired man's hold on him tightened and his lips breezed over Remus' ear.

"Why not?" Sirius asked and Remus clenched his eyes shut again.

He returned the hug sheepishly, his hands pressing against Sirius' back. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, you just have to stay with me," Sirius said, his breath grazing over Remus' cheek and neck. This was so hard. He just… he just couldn't.

"I can't," Remus said weakly, feeling his resolve disappearing every time Sirius spoke. He had to get away from him. Why did Sirius have to be so stubborn?

"I love you, Remus," Sirius said loudly. Far louder than Remus much cared for.

He heard a noise off to their left and Remus realized that the entire party had stopped and people were looking at him. Remus' cheeks turned a bright pink and he swallowed thickly, feeling foolish and exposed under the inquiring eyes.

Sirius, always a glutton for attention, merely glanced their way before his eyes narrowed. Typically, Sirius would be happy for the attention, but right now he had other things on his mind and didn't bother caring about having an audience.

"Do you mind?" he snapped and some people had the decency to look away. He wasn't letting his love for attention interfere with this right now. He turned back to Remus. "Come with me."

Before Remus could stop him, Sirius was dragging him out the door. Remus protested the entire way, trying to tug away from Sirius and return to the party, but the dark-haired man proved to be the stronger of the two and simply ignored Remus' protests.

"Sirius, please, stop," Remus begged, trying to pull his wrist from Sirius' grip. Sirius wouldn't budge. "Sirius, please. Stop this. It's over."

"It's not over," he said fiercely.

They navigated easily through James' house. They'd spent so many holidays at Hogwarts here it was like a second home to both of them. Sirius looked, for lack of a better word, far more serious than Remus had seen him in a while, and the werewolf knew that he would have a tough time arguing against him now.

They found their way to the old guest room Sirius would sleep in during holidays and tossed Remus unceremoniously into the room. He turned around and locked the door with his wand before advancing on Remus.

"Sirius, please," Remus tried again. "We can't do this."

"I won't leave until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you," Sirius barked angrily.

"We just can't," Remus said vaguely.

"Do you not care that I love you?" Sirius asked as he took a step towards Sirius. "Was this just a joke to you, Remus?

"It wasn't a joke to me," Remus admitted, shamed that he'd caused this much trouble and pain for Sirius. That hadn't been his intention at all. "You mean so much to me, Sirius… I just…"

"Just what?" Sirius asked, knowing he was on the brink of something important. "Why can't you accept this, Remus?"

Remus didn't speak for a long moment. Sirius took a step towards the shorter man.

"Moony?"

That name. Why did Sirius have to use that name? It reminded Remus of a happier time, back when things were so much easier and he didn't have to worry about the future and where he would go in the world. Hogwarts had been his sanctuary, and he longed to go back to those times.

He pushed against Sirius' chest fruitlessly and ducked his head, wishing that he were strong enough to push Sirius away forever.

Sirius lifted his hands and grasped the two hands on his chest. He took another step towards Remus and looked down at him, frowning thoughtfully. Remus refused to lift his head. Remus could feel Sirius' heart beating under his right hand. It pulsed in time with his.

"I just… I just can't," Remus whispered. "I'm too… I'm too…"

"Remus," Sirius breathed and lifted his hand to tilt Remus' face upwards. Remus let him, but couldn't make himself meet Sirius' slate blue eyes. Those eyes were just so trusting, so beautiful.

Remus realized Sirius was kissing him and became terrified. He tried his best to push against Sirius, but the stronger man refused to relent and Remus ended up simply grasping the lapel of Sirius' tuxedo.

Sirius broke away for air and Remus felt as if his heart would burst.

"I'm a werewolf," Remus whispered feebly.

"I know that, and I don't care."

"I'm too dangerous," Remus admitted quietly. "I'm too dangerous for you; I'm a werewolf and there will be prejudice and hatred everywhere I go. I can't let you be part of that, Sirius. I just can't. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

Remus knew he was close to rambling but Sirius silenced him with a hand touching his cheek.

"Too dangerous, Moony? Too dangerous for me?" Sirius asked, and it looked as if the man were about to smile. He shook his head and looked at the werewolf gravely. "When has anything been too dangerous for me? When have you been too dangerous for me? You are what keeps me sane. You are safe to me, Remus."

"Sirius," Remus breathed. He felt himself moving as Sirius pushed him against the wall of the guest bedroom. Sirius kissed him again, fiercely. Remus let him, delving into everything that was Sirius.

"Wherever you are, Moony," Sirius whispered against his lips, his eyes half-hooded and smoldering. "I will be there, too. I don't give a shit about anything as long as you're by my side. I love you, you stupid, bloody wanker."

Remus felt his bottom lip wobble but refused to cry. He grasped Sirius' lapel and ducked his head, pressing his forehead against Sirius' shoulder. Nothing was going as planned. He was supposed to protect Sirius. But Sirius wouldn't let him.

"Is this why you've been avoiding me? Is this why you don't want to believe what I say?" Sirius asked gently, and the soft tone in his voice was a welcomed opposite to his earlier, harsh speech.

Remus knew it sounded stupid coming from Sirius' mouth, and he nodded bashfully without removing his head from Sirius' shoulder. He wanted to stay there forever, and never leave. If he stayed here, then no one would be able to hurt him or Sirius.

"Can't I choose what is and what isn't too dangerous for me?" Sirius asked quietly.

"I…" Remus was wavering. He knew it. Sirius knew it.

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus' waist and held the werewolf close. Remus shifted his arms to wrap around Sirius' shoulders, feeling at peace. He didn't like this current situation, but he supposed that Sirius would never let him out of his sight from now on.

He might as well deal with it.

There was a knock at the door. Both men started and looked guiltily towards the door.

"Hey, guys, are you in here? Remus? Sirius?" James called from the other side of the door. Sirius disentangled himself from Remus and trudged towards the door. He unlocked it and opened it, looking squarely at James. James laughed lightly. "Ah, so you are."

"Sorry, mate, we didn't mean to start a commotion," Sirius said sheepishly.

James snorted and shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me. I found it funny. Lily's a bit worried, though."

"We're sorry," Remus said, walking over to the doorway, too. He stood awkwardly next to Sirius, unsure what was happening now.

"Just be down soon, Sirius still needs to make his speech," James said with a wave of his hand. He retreated to return to his wife's side. Sirius and Remus watched him go.

Remus cleared his throat awkwardly. "I guess we should go…"

"I guess so," Sirius said and grabbed Remus' wrist. "I want you to know, Moony, that I don't give a shit about anything you think I do. I don't care if you're a werewolf. I don't care if you're gay—for obvious reasons. And I certainly don't care if you think you're dangerous."

Remus smiled softly, feeling his heart thump. He'd been worrying for nothing. And, in hindsight, he realized he was being foolish for thinking for a second that Sirius would accept his sacrifice. No, Sirius always enjoyed an adventure, and he supposed that Sirius also enjoyed the level of danger that went hand and hand with their relationship.

Sirius returned his smile and brushed Remus' hair from his eyes, revealing the shining orbs. They stood there, smiling lightly at one another.

"Let's go, then," Sirius finally said. The said man turned to leave.

Remus licked his dry lips before grabbing Sirius' wrist. Sirius paused and turned around, giving the werewolf a questioning gaze.

"Sirius," Remus paused, collecting his thoughts. "I love you."

The man regarded him for a long moment in silence before his face split into a beaming smile. "I know you do," he whispered. "I know you love me."

Remus nodded his head. "Good."

The rest of the evening, both men were inseparable and grinning like fools.