The entire Straw Hat team was blown away by their sudden newcomer. But as fun as it would be to see their antics, we need to speed this up so the author can return to making sick stories that make your face go Vivi.

"Hey, hey! If you had one place to go, where you go?" It was a very tall woman with a heavy set and upbeat personality. Across from her, was the Ghost Prince, Perone. "What the hell are you talking about," He said in a stoic tone. "Step aside." He summoned a bunch of ghosts, ready to attack the woman.

"Uh-uh! You didn't answer my question!" She said, pulling her glove off. On it was a pawprint of some sort. She then slapped the Ghost Prince with it, making him suddenly disappear. From the side, Nami was watching.

"He just…" She couldn't finish.

"You're the Cat Burglar, Nami right?" The big woman said, kneeling down to her. She became scared.

Later, she would meet the entire crew after Luffiko defeated Gecko Moria. "That's the Warlord, Barbara Kuma!" Said Lola, the heavy-set woman, who even a drunkard wouldn't lay with. She looked around at the group.

"You all seem to be in good spirits despite your scuffed up look," She said. "What a confident crew!" Everyone started to blush over her compliments. "But I gotta take your captain and turn her in to the World Government." Everyone got serious. "So whaddya say? Lemme take him, huh? Huh?"

"LIKE HELL WE WILL!"

Kuma became serious. "Then I'll have to take care of you all at once." She held up the air, condensing it into a ball of sort. When released, everyone had a blast, except Zoro.

"You're still alive," Kuma said, making a face. "I thought that would at least kill all of you." Zoro pulled out his swords and attacked. With her clothing sliced off, Kuma was actually revealed to be a cyborg, having cybernetics.

"What that-are you like Franky?!"

"No, I'm not a pervert, silly!"

"I DIDN'T MEAN THAT, I MEANT THAT FREAKY ASS SHOULDER!"

"Oh yeah, I'm a cyborg now. I can scan my targets and see if they have a bounty on their heads, like you, Pirate Hunter, Roronoa Zoro. Bounty: 120,000,000 Berries." She then turned to Luffy.

"Target, Straw Hat Luffiko. Bounty: 300,000,000 Berries." She did this all in an automated voice, then turned back to Zoro.

"Whirrrrrrrr! Beep."

"Stop playing around you stupid woman-robot!" Zoro grow angry and began to attack. Kuma bounced his blades off with her pawprints.

"You're eager to die! Okay, here's something for you to look at." She opened her mouth. A light came from her mouth. It was a beam, and it fired towards Zoro. He barely dodged it, but sustained some damage from its recoil. The beam was potent enough to melt steel.

"Hothothot!" Kuma was hopping up and down, having singed her mouth from the beam. She belched smoke from her mouth.

"Now that was smokin'!" Zoro was gritting his teeth at her buffoonery. "I'm at my limit…" Zoro looked her down. "You know ya can't win, right?" She held her hand on her hip. "So, can I get my target and go?"

Zoro stood by Luffiko. "I won't let you have her. She's gonna be the future Pirate Queen!" Kuma stared at the two for a minute.

"I see. You and her are lovers."

"Now where did you get that idea!?"

"I knew it," Said a voice. It was Sanji, whose wobbly legs would make Usopp's look like the ISIS hostages before they got beheaded. "You just had to be Mr. Hero, didn't you?" He lit a cigarette. "And now you're confessing your love to our captain?!" Zoro jabbed him with Yubashiri's hilt. Before Sanji fell, he grabbed his shoulder.

"I won't forgive…" He collapsed.

"Wow, he really liked lil' ol' Luffi, didn't he?" Kuma said. "Well, it's time for you to really show your loyalty to your missus." She grabbed Luffi and extracted her pain and fatigue with her powers. "I've collected all her pain and suffering into this…balloon?" She looked confused. "What do you think it is?" Zoro stood silently.

"Oh you're no help. She flicked her hand, which actually sent a little of the fatigue bubble to Zoro. He looked as it landed on him. Suddenly, his insides were being shredded and ruined. He was in severe pain.

"Wow! I never actually did this before, but I was told I could do it by Vegapunk! Neat!" Zoro collapsed, barely holding on. "You gotta take in all the pain, Roro."

"Wait, take me somewhere else." She did just that, with the fatigue bubble. "You're gonna die if you keep this up," She told him. "Shut up, I've made my mind." She gasped.

"What strong resolve for your lover. Wait, I gotta make an adjustment." Kuma formed the bubble into a heart.

"There. Now when you take it all in, you'll be-" Zoro jumped into the bubble without any hesitation.

Later, Sanji finally came to. He remembered what happened before he blacked out. He looked for Zoro. Finally, he found him, standing still, blood dripping all over his body.

"Well, you aren't dead, Marimo-" He stopped and saw the blood all over the place. It was like Rosie O' Donnell took a squat right where Zoro and let loose the Red Sea. "What happened here?!" Sanji yelled. "Why's all this blood here, what the hell was going on?" He looked at his cheek. There was a lipstick mark, but it looked like it was branded on him. Zoro stood silently, finally uttering two words:

Nothing…Nothing at all…!