Chapter 11: Neomycin Sulfate
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The six o'clock rush was close to ending at Wandsworth station, and the platform was only slightly crowded as people dawdled their way out. Hermione stood by her usual spot behind the yellow line, hoping to catch the early train to work. Any distraction was a good distraction from the horrors that had been her day.
Almost any distraction.
Peculiarly, out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a great stag with antlers longer than her entire forearm a few dozen feet away, waiting patiently just behind the yellow line. Riding on its back was a greying rat, calmly perched between its shoulder blades. A shaggy black dog stood beside the two that Hermione recognised.
"Sirius?"
The dog turned its expressive grey eyes at her before his tongue lolled out of his mouth. But then a woman gave a loud shriek.
"Animals! Wild animals at the station! Somebody call Control!"
The platform broke into a panic; Hermione was nearly shoved right onto the tracks as one rather portly man bustled his way past, trying to steer clear of the of Sirius and his friends. Hermione's knees collided heavily with the concrete floor and she gave out a moan of pain. People fluttered about, ignoring the girl on the ground, trying to escape up the stairs through the turnstiles. The stag and the dog stood unmoving throughout the procession, while the rat squeaked nervously upon the deer's back.
When the last person had disappeared, Sirius padded over, nudging at her sides and whining softly at her bruising knee-caps.
"I'm all right," she said, running a hand through the thick fur on his neck, "I might need a little help standing is all."
The stag clip-clopped over to the two of them and lowered its majestic head to her side. Hermione stared in amazement as she raised a hand, slowly running her fingers across its scalp in what she hoped was a soothing gesture. But the stag pushed more adamantly against her hand and Sirius let out a soft woofing sound.
A sudden understanding filled Hermione, and she shifted her hand from the stag's head to its antler, gripping the velvet-covered bone. The deer lifted its head and Hermione felt herself being dragged to her feet in one sweeping movement that left her feeling breathless. Her knees ached and she shook slightly on her legs, but she was upright.
Bewildered, Hermione turned to the animals, "Thank you," she whispered.
The stag cantered on the spot happily, tossing its head in a show of bravado while Sirius gave a happy yip. The rat on the stag's back even gave a soft peep.
"Ma'am, I suggest you move away from the animals," a voice called out. Hermione, distracted by Sirius and his friends, had not noticed the team of six men and women dressed in official polo shirts flocking their way into the terminal. Their breast pockets reading, 'London Animal Protection Services'.
"Oh," Hermione started, "Oh, no. It's all right. They're—"
A man holding a shock pole stepped forward, "Ma'am, as nice and sweet as these animals may seem right now, they are still wild and are prone to act out."
Hermione huffed, "I'm not an idiot, you know. In fact, I'm a trained professional and probably know a lot more than you do about animal behaviourisms. Besides, I know this dog."
"Do you know the owner?"
"Er, well, no, not personally… but I would be able to recognise him if I saw him. His name is Remus Lu—"
"Ma'am, step away from the animals before we are forced to get the police involved."
"Excuse me? How dare you—!"
A pressurised gust of air flew past her ear and a thin, feather-ended dart pierced the hide of the stag, who gave off an uncouth whinny and stomped its feet, shaking its head. Hermione gave a sharp shriek as she scurried back from nearly being disembowelled by its antlers. An animal control officer snatched her arm, dragging her into their makeshift boundaries. The deer was becoming disoriented, stumbling across the platform like a newborn just learning to walk. Sirius snarled at the group, hackles raised, when he gave his own yelp of surprise, a feathered dart sticking out of his shoulder. Before long, he was joining his friend in his own sleepy dance before they both collapsed to the floor. The rat squeaked unhappily.
"You didn't have to do that, you know," Hermione sneered, "That stag has obviously been exposed to humans before –I doubt it would have been dangerous unless provoked. And neither would the dog."
The man with the shock pole stared her down, "You said you know the dog?"
"Yes, his name is Sirius; he's not a stray."
"We will ascertain who the dog's owner is after he is checked by one of our specialists for a microchip, where he can then be returned back to them," Hermione opened her mouth to argue, but the man cut her off, "I currently do not have the authority to release him out of word-of-mouth."
"Well, what about the deer? What are you going to do with him?"
"We will make sure he will be released into one of the wildlife reservations a few hours from the city. Until then, he will have to be kept under sedation. Now, as this scene is currently under the direction of the London Animal Control Services, we will have to ask you to find alternate transportation. Good day, ma'am."
Before she could blink, she found herself shoved up the stairs past the turnstiles into the dirty London streets. With a scowl, Hermione stomped her way to the nearest bus stop, grumbling under her breath the entire way.
She thought she heard a squeak coming from around her shoes as she painfully hobbled her way across the footpath, but every time she looked down she couldn't spot anything.
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A muddy and twig-ridden James Potter Apparated with a crack in front of a sodden-looking Sirius, who sat on the porch outside of Peter's bungalow. James rubbed his tender backside as he carefully lowered himself into a seat.
"They gave me a flea-bath," Sirius muttered, tugging at a limp strand of hair, "I've never had fleas in my life!"
James pulled a leaf from the collar of his shirt, "At least you didn't get dumped in the woods in the dead of night. I was walking around in the dark for nearly an hour before I found my wand."
Sirius leaned back in his seat with a sigh before sitting back upright, suddenly alert, "Where's Peter? I thought we were supposed to meet him here after the plan."
"Maybe they made him into a lab-rat?" James shrugged, "He probably went and followed Hermione. I'm sure he'll have better luck than us. I mean, what's the worst he could do?"
Sirius and James petered off in thought.
"We should probably go after him, shouldn't we?"
"Definitely."
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By the time she had gotten off the third bus, Hermione was under the belief that she was going insane as the squeaking continued to play just out of her line of sight. Her aching knees had turned black and blue in the short trip to work, so Hermione barged her way through to the staff kitchen with barely a hello to Catherine, the receptionist for the night, and snatched a large bag of ice from out of the freezer. Scowling, she stormed her way into her office – she had a good twenty minutes before her shift was supposed to start and she wasn't going to spend a moment more with knocked knees.
Her legs had become pleasantly numb by the time Catherine called her through the extension, " Dr Granger, there's a package for you at the front desk."
"A package?" Hermione asked, "I'll be right down."
Joints stiff, Hermione shuffled her way into the reception. It was empty except for a man around Hermione's age that looked like he had never suffered the punishment of a bedtime without supper. An Australian silky terrier sat next to him, a blue bow tied on top of its head, which snarled at her as she limped past. She ignored them, turning to Catherine, "Yes?"
With an excited grin, the girl lifted a rather large, rather gaudy gift basket from behind the counter. Dressed in orange and magenta streamers it was everything Hermione hated. Catherine seemed to be able to tell from the look on her face.
"Oh, come on, Dr Granger, it's just a spot of fun! Look, they've got all sorts of sweets and toys in here."
"It's… ghastly. Was there a note?" the receptionist shook her head. Hermione waved a dismissive hand, "Just leave it out for the patients then. I'm not a particularly large fan of sweets."
Catherine took out a bowl from a nearby shelf and poured the treats into it, leaving the toys in the basket, the shiny sweet wrappers crinkled happily. Hermione didn't give them another glance as she called over her shoulder, heading back to her office, "I'm going to change into my scrubs. Just give me a call when you're ready."
She had barely shut the door when the phone rang again. Hermione picked it up.
"Yes?" she asked wearily.
"Dr Granger! Come quick! Something has happened to Mr Dursley!" Catherine cried. Hermione could barely understand her through the tears.
Dropping the phone without a reply, Hermione rushed back into the reception room as fast as her legs would let her, she could hear barking and Catherine wailing from the front room. When she was finally able to hobble her way in, she was horrified to discover the man with the terrier had collapsed onto his knees as his dog ran about him, snarling and barking maniacally at what appeared to be its owner's tongue, which had grown over four feet long, waggling across the vinyl flooring.
Snatching a pen from beside a panicking Catherine, Hermione shoved the sealed end into Dursley's mouth, who had gone a decidedly odd shade of puce, and pressed down, forcing his swollen tongue from his airway.
"What happened?" Hermione shrieked over the terrier's barking.
"I-I don't know! All he did was take one of the sweets from the bowl!" Catherine stuttered.
Hermione spotted an innocent looking wrapper sitting beside Dursley. With strict orders for him to hold the pen in place (which he happily conceded to, as he was no longer resembling an overripe grape) she picked up the wrapper, carefully unfurling it and reading the multi-coloured message:
'Weasley Wizard Wheezes would like to present to you, the Ton-Tongue Toffee; trick your friends, get back at your enemies – we guarantee hours of laughter for you to enjoy!'
Hermione dashed to her feet to get her medical kit, "Call an ambulance!" she cried, "And toss out those sweets! Make sure nobody else touches them!"
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"A Weasley Wizard Wheezes gift basket? You got her a gift basket from a wizarding joke shop? What part of 'she's a muggle' don't you understand?" James cried, dragging his hands through his hair before he tossed them up toward the sky, circling the front of the clinic. Red and blue lights flashed across his face from the other side of the parking lot.
"I thought it would be nice, y'know? The twins said that they've been really popular around Valentines for girls."
"For witches, Peter. Not muggles," Sirius clarified.
They watched as a rotund young man was loaded into the back of a van with one of the muggle healers trotting behind carrying an extra six feet of tongue with a dazed expression.
James rubbed his forehead, "Lily is going to kill me. If she finds out that we're the reason her nephew is in the hospital… this is worse than when Harry cursed Dudley with a pigtail – at least he was able to hide it then!"
Sirius's eyes flew open, "What's Remus going to think if he finds out?" he said, aghast.
"He would probably think that you've all done quite enough damage," called a voice.
The three friends turned to find the fourth member of their quartet leaning by Sirius's motorbike, arms crossed and eyebrows raised, looking rather unimpressed.
Sirius gave a broad grin, "Remus! Nice to see you! Thought you'd still be up at that stuffy old castle of yours! Didn't think we'd see you until Christmas, in fact!"
"Save it, Sirius," Remus said sternly," I want to know what you lot have been up to since I've been away."
"Nothing, nothing! Absolutely nothing. Prongs?"
"Nope, not much going on around here, mate. Wormtail?"
"Not a thing! Everything has been very boring, nothing exciting whatsoever!"
Remus gave them a thin smile, "Funny. Because I just ran into Arthur Weasley. A sweet from his sons' practical jokes had been purposely fed to a muggle. The Aurors are in fits over damage control. This whole block is about to go into lock-down. You fellows wouldn't know anything about that, now would you?"
Before James, Sirius or Peter could reply, Hermione stepped out of the doorway, trying to calm down a weeping woman dressed in a name badge and uniform who looked positively terrified at what had occurred.
Remus's face turned a pallid grey and he turned to his friends. James flinched at his friend's expression.
"Hermione is here? You were trying to trick Hermione?"
"Er, not trick her exactly. More like… woo her," James muttered, shoving a nervous hand through his hair.
Remus threw his hands up in the air, stomping in a tight circle muttering to himself before he whirled on the trio, a furious look on his face, "Woo her? You were trying to woo her? What is wrong with you lot?"
Sirius looked unimpressed with the display, "Well it's not like you were doing anything about it."
Remus shoved a finger in the man's face, "This was your idea, wasn't it, Sirius? I told you to leave her alone, but you didn't listen! People could have gotten hurt! The Ministry has gotten involved! You three could end up in Azkaban for this mess! Not to mention the amount of trauma you've inflicted on the girl the past few days!"
"Hold on, how do you know about the last few days?" James frowned.
Remus rolled his eyes exhaustedly, "Why do you think none of your plans worked?"
"Hold up, you've been tricking us, haven't you? You're the one that pushed James in the market and got Peter beat up and made my bike go haywire!" Sirius yelled.
"I bet he called Animal Control, too!" Peter piped up.
Sirius waved him off. James pulled another twig from his hair. "You're paying for my speeding fines, I hope you know!"
"No," Remus snarled, "What you are going to do is leave Hermione alone. You lot had no right to—!"
"Who in the world do you think you are?" came a voice from behind them.
The men turned to see a furious Hermione Granger, face illuminated by the flashing red and blue from the van across the road. Sirius and James blanched while Peter squeaked weakly. Remus looked like he had swallowed his own, normal-sized tongue.
Recognition flittered across Hermione's face before it fell into an even deeper scowl, pointing at Peter, "I know you! You were the one harassing me at my parent's work and at the chemist! And you—" she pointed at Sirius, "You were in Paris after my lecture, and I'm pretty certain you owned that wretched motorbike too!" her finger was then aimed at James, "And you were the one that threw my cards at me after they went missing! And yelled at me in the market! And you—!"
Her finger pointed a Remus last, and she jolted at the sight of the man. Sirius watched Hermione's lower lip quiver slightly as she softly mumbled, "You were the man in the park…"
Some of the colour came back to Remus' face at the notion that she remembered him, "Hermione…"
The surprise slipped from Hermione's features and Sirius was shocked to see her eyes had become glassy. She took a sudden step back from Remus as if she was afraid he would touch her.
"What is wrong with you?" she screeched, "What did I ever do to deserve being treated like this? Followed, stalked, harassed," She pointed at the veterinary hospital, "Nearly poisoned?"
"Woah, hey, we weren't trying to poison you…" James feebly argued.
Hermione stared at him incredulously, her eyelashes coated in salty water as she tried desperately to blink back the tears as she stared at a trembling Remus, "Is this about the Aconite solution? Is this some sort of revenge?"
Sirius frowned when Remus didn't answer, "No, it's not that—!"
But Hermione wasn't listening. She had ducked her head and curled into herself, looking nothing like the strong-willed and confident woman they were used to, "Whatever I've done to you, I'm sorry." she hiccupped, "I'm truly sorry, but I'm begging you; just leave me be, please."
Sirius bent his head in shame. He hadn't meant to scare the girl, he had only wanted to help his friend.
"Look, Hermione…" he started.
As if a switch had been flicked, the anger came back, rearing its ugly head. With tears still in her eyes, Hermione bellowed, "Just leave me alone!"
Before any of them could say anything, headlights flooded their vision. A car pulled up beside Hermione.
"Darling, are you all right?" Came the voice of an older woman in her fifties with the same eyes and hair, "Your call made your father and me so terribly worried, so I came to see if you were okay."
Hermione threw one last withering look at the four of them before she stepped into the passenger seat, "It's fine, mum. Could you drop me home? The clinic is closed for the night with the investigation. I've already said everything I need to."
The door slammed shut behind her, and all four men flinched. Sirius could hear her mother questioning her as the car sped off into the night, leaving the four friends in silence.
"Remus, mate, we're so sorry—" James started. But a loud crack announced that Remus had already Apparated away.
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Oh, yeah. This story has a plot and an astounding amount of emotional trauma. Nearly forgot with all the Marauder's antics.
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