11

Cora felt tired. She was fighting an uphill battle over her money and her daughter's future. She merely stood quietly and let O'Brien dress her. She was in a haze of mental exhaustion over the whole thing; she could hardly hear O'Brien as she talked about the goings on downstairs. It was all about Robert's new valet, Cora did think it was strange that Robert's Valet should need a cane to walk. What was he doing in service? Surely there was a better place for him somewhere, a sedentary job of some kind. Robert came into the room as O'Brien finished up. "You look very nice"

"Thank you, Darling." She smiled at him, hoping he would have good news "Did Murray make matters clearer?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, I'm afraid he did." Said Robert, facing away from her. O'Brien took that as her cue to leave.

"By the way, O'Brien says Bates is causing a lot of awkwardness downstairs. We have to do something about it."

"She's always making trouble." Cora felt like that remark was uncalled for.

"Is that fair? When she hasn't mentioned it before now?"

"I don't know why you listen to her." This made Cora a little angry, Robert could be so hypocritical sometimes when it came to his view of the servants. It made her want to show him how ridiculous he was acting. She put on the same air she perceived from him. She'd see how he liked it when she belittled his servant.

"It is quite eccentric, even for you, to have a crippled valet."

"Please don't use that word."

"Did he tell you he couldn't walk when he made his application?"

"Don't exaggerate."

"Doesn't it strike you as dishonest not to mention it?" She asked him while she put on her gloves.

"I knew he'd been wounded." This part surprised her.

"You never said."

You know I don't care to talk about all that." She hated when he did that. He was the one who mentioned the war. Why would he always mention it and then retract?

"Of course I understand what it must be like to have fought alongside someone in a war."

"Oh, you understand that, do you?" She had struck a nerve now. She kept her tone even and unconcerned.

"Certainly, I do. It must be one of the most tremendous bonds, even with a servant."

"Really? Even with a servant?" His accusatory tone and total failure to catch on was getting on her last nerve.

"Oh Robert don't catch me out!" she turned to look at him as she spoke "I'm simply saying I fully see why you want to help him."

"But…"

"But is this right way?" she was getting serious now "To employ him for a job he can't do? Is it any wonder if the others' noses are put out?"

"I just want to give him a chance." He sounded very sincere now; she had faith that he would understand her meaning in time. But if he kept insisting she get rid of O'Brien she would keep insisting he sack Bates.

Cora remained tired and irritable for the next few weeks. She had been trying very hard indeed not to think of Elsie. She felt so selfish for wanting to sneak away and be with her lover when her family was in such a mess, but the phrase "diminishing returns" kept coming to mind also. She wondered if she wouldn't be better off to forget about responsibility for a night and go be held. But if it was a matter of responsibility to others should she consider her responsibility to Elsie? Yes. Yes she should. She and Elsie had declared their love for each other, they had made love, that endowed each with a very large responsibility to care for the other. How could she have been so blind to that fact until now? Elsie must be as miserable as she was. At least, in a way, Cora hoped she was; Cora hoped that Elsie missed her. She would find out. She would go to Elsie tonight. A smile spread across Cora's face as she remembered Elsie's startled look last time she had surprised her in her room.

That night, after everyone had gone to bed, Cora clutched her dressing gown to her body as she snuck up the stairs to Elsie's room. The servants would even be in bed by now so she would have to be quiet. She reached Elsie's door and saw a light shining under it, she knocked so softly that she herself could barely hear it. She stood silently for a moment, wondering if Elsie had heard her, until she hear shuffling from inside the room and the door opened slowly. Elsie's apprehensive face peeked around the door. She looked surprised and backed up to let Cora in. Elsie shut the door behind her and turned to look at her, before she had the chance to say anything at all Cora's arms were around her. "Elsie, I've missed you so much."

Elsie's arms wrapped around her back and Cora heard her whisper "I've missed you too."