I suck and I don't deserve to have readers! I apologize for the lack of teasers for my reviewers, I had a lot of work this week… To compensate, I'll add next chapter's teaser at the end of this update.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except fingerless mittens I knit myself.
~ oOo ~
BPOV
"Would you like to go up, see the room?" Edward asks nervously, eyeing Esme. I knew what he was thinking – would she be suspicious if we put up too much of a fight about sleeping in the same room?
"Sure, I'd love to." I walked over to him and he gestured towards the stairs, placing his hand on my lower back to guide me. I could feel his family's eyes on us as we left the living room. I didn't know what they made of us and our 'relationship'.
"It's only 5, I know, but I had to get out of there," Edward said quietly as we went up the stairs. "Too much pressure."
"Oh," I said vaguely, following him down the hallway. The upstairs was very elegant and tastefully decorated, much like what I'd seen of the rest of the house. There were 5 closed doors; Edward strode to the one furthest away from the stairs and pushed it open.
"Why does your mom call this your 'old room'?" I gasped, peeking inside. It looked newly renovated, with dark-wood furniture and cream and gold fabrics everywhere. It looked like a page right out of Architectural Digest.
"Well, it's not really old. We lived here for a month, maybe, while we found our own places when we first came down from Healy." He nodded towards the bathroom door. "I share this with Emmett."
"Wow. It's beautiful. It's nice your parents keep rooms for you." I paced around the room slowly, taking it all in. It seemed almost as big as my own apartment.
Edward cleared his throat. "Hey, um, I wanted to say sorry about… their enthusiasm."
"Why are you apologizing? They're all great; you're lucky to have such a great family that loves you," I told him.
"Don't you?" Edward asked frankly. He suddenly seemed mortified. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound—"
"My parents are okay… a little distant, maybe," I interrupted him. "I always looked after myself. I miss them, but I've been on my own for awhile now, so it's no big deal." I smiled reassuringly at him. "But we never had big, sit-down meals like these. I'm an only child and I don't have any close cousins. Today was nice."
Edward still looked sorry. "It just sounds like—"
"Don't pity me. It's made me who I am… independent. Strong, occasionally." I shrugged.
"You are strong." He stepped closer to me, where I stood in the middle of his awesome room.
"So are you. I think we've both put up with a lot of shit, and look at us, still standing." I nudged him playfully.
"Oh, hey, I meant to ask. Mom didn't say anything too embarrassing while you were alone with them?"
"No, not really. She's so proud of you," I said, remembering the look on Esme's face when she showed me picture after picture of Edward's accomplishments. It was clear to me that he was her favorite.
"I guess. Thanks." He ducked his head, suddenly serious. "By the way, what are we going to do?"
"About?" I asked, confused.
"Us… this relationship… my mom is obviously over the moon with this… us." Edward gestured to the air between us. I bit my lip, unsure of what to answer. He looked just as lost.
"I haven't thought about it. I'm kind of adjusting to Sunday brunch with the family," I said slowly. "I don't know. We may be in a little over our heads here. How do we keep this up? I mean, not that I don't enjoy your company, but I was thinking this might be a one time deal."
"Honestly, me too. I can't ask you to pretend to be my girlfriend indefinitely." Edward seemed to trip over the word girlfriend.
I grinned. "Although, you still owe it to me to be my wedding date." We still had a deal going on.
"Oh, I haven't forgotten, don't worry," he smiled.
Silence fell between us, broken occasionally by the howling of the approaching blizzard outside the windows. But it wasn't entirely uncomfortable, as I perused the mostly empty bookshelves for more insight on Edward.
"I suppose…" Edward hesitated. I looked up. "We could keep pretending for a couple of weeks? And then…" He seemed embarrassed.
"Stage a break up?" I said softly. It seemed like the logical conclusion to this staged… us.
"You read my mind", he said grimly. "It'll kind of break my mom's heart."
I laughed nervously. "I don't think she's that attached to me yet. She just met me."
"Oh, you don't know the half of it. After Victoria broke up with me, Mom was almost as bad as I was. Not because she missed Victoria, but because of my own… emo state of mind. She probably didn't think I'd pull through so well… but she looks at you, at us, and she sees something. I don't know." Edward did that funny ducking head thing.
"Well, now, that just makes me feeling slightly guilty," I said with a slight smile, trying to lighten the mood.
Edward tried to return it, and said, "Don't worry, I'll deal with the rest when the time comes."
Several beats passed as we pondered about the consequences of our brilliant idea when Esme's voice suddenly called from downstairs. "Edward, Bella, I made a little snack! Come down!"
I glanced at Edward. "She made more food?"
"Sure. It's afternoon teatime," Edward replied, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "Even after your cookies, which were fuckawesome by the way. You may have won her over with your baking skills, too."
We went downstairs again, my heels catching on the carpet loops and tripping me up. Before I could fall on my face, Edward caught my elbow and straightened me up. I looked at him gratefully and we walked into the living room, Edward still gripping my arm.
Everyone turned to us, and we immediately separated, embarrassed for some reason. Edward busied himself pouring tea for us and handed me a plate laden with pastries. Esme had made pain au chocolat. Dear God, how come the Cullens didn't all weigh 200 pounds? I accepted my food from Edward and sat on the couch, listening to the family's easy conversation, and feeling as though I'd known them for years. Strange.
"How did you find the room?" Esme asked, turning to me. I hurried to swallow my bite.
"Oh, it's just beautiful," I said around a mouthful of bread.
"Rose actually helped decorate the house when we bought it," Esme beamed proudly at her daughter-in-law, who was devouring pains, dipping them in her cup. Apparently, she was one of those girls who could eat her own weight in food and not gain an ounce. Damn she was lucky.
I caught Edward's eye as he broke off a conversation with Jasper. "Won't we spoil our dinner?" I asked him with a smile.
"Oh, don't worry, we always eat fairly late. You'll be grateful for the little snack later," he answered, grinning.
After tea, to my intense surprise, the girls broke out playing cards and poker chips, settling around the coffee table. The men hooked up an Xbox console and played… Halo. I felt a little stab as I remembered Jacob teaching me to play with the ridiculously complicated controller.
"Bella? You okay?" Edward noticed me staring like a crazy person, and I tried to snap out of it with a shaky grin.
"Yeah. Little flashback. Sorry." I shrugged and pointed to the controller. "Mind if I look at that for a second?"
"Um, sure. It's called Halo. You run around and try to kill the other players, but it takes a little practice. If you want me to—"
"Switch to legendary skill level and let me kick some Cullen butt with the sniper rifle and my superior assassin skills? Love to." I yanked the controller out of his grip while he stared dumbfounded at me as I proceeded to gather jet packs and weapons. Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle also gazed at me in wonder and got their avatars killed in the meantime.
Edward finally spoke. "You play?"
"Legendary?" Jasper added, awed.
"Sure. My… ex-boyfriend taught me." I avoided Edward's stare and noticed Alice out of the corner of my eye. She, Esme, and Rose were all smirking as they held their cards. "But if you'd rather keep it between you boys, I can always join the girls for a little Hold'Em."
"Hell no. You're on my team," Edward managed after a few seconds. Alice burst out laughing.
Emmett leaned across Carlisle and spoke to Edward. "Dude, I just fell in love with her, too."
Too? What? I blushed and flustered, dropped the controller. Edward and I both bent over to pick it up at the same time and knocked our heads together.
"Shit!" He rubbed the spot on his forehead while Esme chided him for his use of language. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I winced at the throbbing pain, and of course flushed bright red again. I caught Edward's eye, and he smiled.
"So… Halo." He handed me the Xbox controller. "Let's find some grenades."
~ oOo ~
Dinner by Esme was delicious, even though we didn't eat until almost nine. I wasn't used to eating so late, but the wait was worth it: roast chicken, rosemary potatoes, and flaky apple pie for dessert. I had never eaten so much in a single day, yet I couldn't help but discreetly lick my fingers for pie crumbs.
It got so, I managed to forget about what was coming at bedtime. Until the guys started clearing up the dishes and Alice made a big show of yawning and saying how tired she was. I gave her a dirty look, and the pixie had the nerve to wink at me.
"Yeah, so, I guess Jazz and I are going to call it a night. Thanks, Mom, it was great." She gave Esme a kiss on the cheek, and whispered something in her ear. Esme nodded and smiled. I didn't like that at all.
"Edward?" she called out. "Honey, why don't you head upstairs with Bella. They can finish up in there." Esme smiled at me like she was offering me a big treat. Under any other circumstances (like, real circumstances) it would be great, if a little creepy.
Edward came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on his jeans. He looked at me and I shrugged in defeat. He kissed his mom good night as well and took my hand slowly. We trudged upstairs, well aware that Esme was looking at us with a rapt expression.
When we reached Edward's room, he closed the door behind us with a soft snick. He went over to the dresser and pulled a couple of drawers open. "I have some clothes stashed in here you can wear." He tossed me a pair of flannel pants. I held them up against my body; they were a little big.
"Thanks. I'll fold up the bottoms. I'll just wear my sweater, I think I'll be warmer." Even though the heating was on, the unused room was a little chilly.
"Wait, I think I have a sweatshirt somewhere." He found it and placed it in my hands.
"Um, would you like to…use the bathroom first?" I asked, hesitating.
"No, go ahead." Edward hit the light switch and the bathroom was flooded with white light. "Towels are stored under the sink."
I went inside and closed the door, remembering to lock both ends just in case Emmett decided to barge in. I washed the makeup off my face, brushed my teeth using my finger, and combed through the curls in my hair. I shimmied out of my leggings, pulling on Edward's borrowed clothes. They were soft and worn in all the right places, smelling of fresh laundry detergent and some faint traces of cologne. I hugged the sweatshirt tightly to my chest when I was startled by a knock on the door.
"Bella? You need anything?" Edward's voice was muffled.
"No, I'm done." I clicked the door open, and gestured him inside. "All yours."
I was pulling back the duvet and blankets when he emerged, dressed similarly to me. I couldn't help myself; I pointed at us and laughed. Edward smiled, looking down at his sleepwear. Then he noticed me turning down the bed.
"Oh, hey Bella, don't worry, I'll take the floor." I knew he was remembering my words about sleeping on the couch.
"Edward, it's freezing, I don't want you to be uncomfortable for my sake."
"I won't be uncomfortable. This quilt is like ten inches thick. I'll be fine." He pulled the goose down comforter away from my hands gently and took a couple of pillows from the queen-sized bed and lay them on the floor.
I curled up on one side of the bed, refusing to take up all the space when Edward was going to sleep on the floor.
"All set?" he called from somewhere at my feet.
"Um, yeah. Are you sure you don't want—"
"Bella, drop it. Will you get the lamp, please?"
"Okay. Sure. Good night." I reached over to switch off the lamp, when there was a knock at the door.
"Edward? Bella? May I come in? I have some pajamas for Bella."
"Shit!" Edward hissed. He scrambled to his feet and almost tripped over the comforter.
"Quick, get in here!" I whispered, holding the blankets back. He paused for a second before tossed the comforter on top of the sheets, crawling in next to me. I tucked myself against his side, resting my head on his shoulder and Edward put his arm around me. I blushed.
"Uh, come in, Mom!" Edward called out. Esme poked her head through the door and smiled, seeing us cuddling on the bed.
"Bella, dear, I brought you some of Rosalie's pajamas, I thought Alice's would be too small for you to wear." She gestured to the pile of clothing in her hands.
"Oh, thank you, Mrs.—Esme, but Edward already lent me some of his own clothes." I smiled at her, hoping she wouldn't think it was strained.
"Well, that's fine then. I hope you're comfortable. Edward, your dad just turned up the thermostat, it's freezing out there. If you need anything, we're right down the hall. Good night."
"Good night," we both called out to her, as she shut the door. We glanced at each other and broke into nervous giggles. I could feel his heart pounding beneath my hand resting on his chest, and imagined it was the adrenaline rush of almost being discovered by his mother. A thought occurred to me.
"Edward? What if she comes back?" I asked softly, trying to look up at him, but only seeing his chin.
"I don't know. She might, just to check on us." Edward's grip tightened across my shoulder involuntarily.
"Well, let's just both stay in the bed… I mean, we've done it before… and nothing happened, you know? I trust you." I blushed furiously, hoping he couldn't see it.
There was a sharp intake of breath. "Of course, I would never… take advantage… it's just, the situation, you know," he stammered.
"I know. Thanks. Um, good night." I tried to extricate myself gently from his arm, before he caught on and pulled away, seemingly embarrassed. We stared at each other for a beat, two beats… before we turned away from each other. We kept about a foot of distance between our bodies on the bed. Edward reached over and finally turned off the bedside lamp.
"Good night, Bella." His voice sounded quiet in the dark. All we could hear was the clicking of the central heating system and faint voices from the other rooms. I still had something to say.
"Edward?"
"Hmm?"
"Thanks for asking me to come." I swallowed.
"You're welcome," he said softly. After a few more minutes, there was only the sound of his deep breathing. Edward was asleep.
I was very much aware of his body sleeping next to me. Nothing's going to happen, I reasoned. I wasn't afraid it would. Maybe I was afraid it wouldn't.
It was going to be a long fucking night.
~ oOo ~
Wow, this was long too. Not 22K long, but still. Little preview of coming attractions:
"Did you sleep alright?" Alice bit into her toast delicately, with a knowing smirk on her face.
"Yeah. It was fine." I gulped my orange juice and refused to look at Edward. He managed to look ashamed and his fingers twitched in his lap. I tried not to remember those fingers and what they were capable of.
I'm trying to finish up "Fairy Poison" as well. Really soon. Thank you for sticking around.