*A/N: I'm back! First off, allow me to tell all of you how sorry I am for not updating until now! I know it has been way too long! I know what it is like to wait for updates and start to get even a little frustrated for them! I'm sorry! I promise it won't always be like this. Life has been crazy the past couple of months. I went without a computer for like a month after my old one had quit on me. But, hey got a new one! Yay! Also, I have been traveling all over and visiting family and friends I never get to see, so I haven't made time to write. I'm still traveling, but I have to write or I may combust!

Secondly, thank you so much to those who've been reviewing! It is so wonderful for me to see that some people have interest in this story! I'm truly flattered.

And, now I'll shut up and let you read the good stuff!

Chapter 11 – Preparations

Elizabeth's POV – Present Day

"And we'll put their photos up on the altar," Aunt Alice said quietly. She was organizing the funeral. She hadn't gotten over blaming herself for their deaths. I think she was just trying to stay busy. She closed her eyes and sighed softly. Poppy approached her from behind and laid his hand on her shoulder.

"Alice," he began in a hushed tone, "stop it. We've been through this a hundred times. It's not your fault that you didn't see it. Perhaps, some things aren't meant to be seen."

Aunt Alice smiled slightly, clearly unconvinced. In any case, she went back to work, carefully, meticulously planning every detail of my big brother's funeral. Everyone, including my currently weak mother pitched in, all wanting to be a part of this moment. So, the entire family shuffled about in the small church on the rez, following Alice's orders without complaint or question. Other than Alice's quite commands, and the occasional whispered "okay," no sounds could be heard.

The past two days had been pure hell for my family. We'd all been guilty of being overly confident. Overly confident of our "immortality", of always believing that we would have each other. If not for forever, at least for a very long time. My brother's death should have been a wake-up call for all of us. The problem was, for whatever reason, we couldn't wake up from the nightmare we were living in. Although we were pushing forward, the pain in our hearts was nearly unbearable.

Suddenly, a car turned on the old, gravel road and started towards the church. Of course, I'd heard it a couple of seconds after everyone else had. At first, we were nervous. The funeral was being kept quiet. Not many people knew we were there, only a select few. After all, there were still a lot of people alive that would probably die of a heart attack if they saw most of my family.

We turned to Poppy to see if he knew who it was coming down the road. His eyes got distant as he focused on the minds of whoever was in the car. His face softened. "It's okay." He didn't elaborate any further.

We watched the door in anticipation, as we listened to the engine being turned off, the car doors being opened and the footsteps on the gravel. The doors to the church screeched open. Out of the pouring rain and into the church, came two older people that I quickly identified. I hadn't seen them often in my life, twice if I remembered correctly, but I knew well enough who they were.

My father was first to approach the older gentleman. "Sam," he said, sounding almost relieved, "it's good to see you." They embraced in a hug that lasted much longer than most do between two men.

"It's good to see you too, Jacob," replied Sam, speaking in that strong, authoritative voice of his. Always and forever an Alpha. He looked well for his age-the same old Sam, no pun intended, just with more wrinkles and white hair.

Emily quickly, well as quickly as a 75-year old woman could, went to Mama. Tears ran slowly down her beautifully scarred face. She put her arms gently around Mama and Mama returned the hug even gentler. "I'm so sorry, Nessie. I don't know what else that one mother could say to another to express her condolence. All I know to say is I'm truly sorry." Mama's head nodded in response as her tears began once again.

"I'm sorry, too," said Mama. Emily had lost her cousin in this tragedy and no one had overlooked that fact. Every one of us had felt a loss.

Sam and Emily greeted the family one by one. Samantha and Masen had already been to visit them at their house, but in any case, Samantha was obviously relieved to see them again. Everyone showed warmth and compassion for each other. Any hard feelings that had once existed between the people standing in the room, were now long gone.

When Emily reached me, her face lit up a small amount, although the sadness was still present in her eyes. "Look at you! My how time passes! The last time we saw you, you were still a little girl!" She hugged me tighter than I thought any woman her age could have. I returned the hug as gently as I could, not wanting to break her. Living in my family that was never a problem, so needless to say, I felt a little unsure of myself. She let go of me and turned to face Sam, who stood a foot away talking to Grandpa. "Sam! Look at Elizabeth! She's a beautiful woman now. Can you believe it?"

Sam turned his attention from Grandpa to face me. He smiled kindly. "I can see that, Emily." His eyes softened a bit as he asked me, "How are you doing, darling?"

"I'm fine," I lied. I didn't think it would help anyone if I'd told the truth and said that I'd never felt worse in my life. Then again, I doubt that anyone believed my lie.

"Well," began Sam, "we thought we would come up here and offer to help all of you with whatever you may need help with." I tried not to laugh at that. Two elderly people offering to help an entire clan of ridiculously strong people. Priceless.

Nana replied sweetly, "Just your company is help enough. Sit down here and we'll talk a bit." They sat and chatted with Nana and Grandpa, catching up on years passed apart, and remembering moments passed together.

After a while, after Aunt Alice had decided that everything was perfectly placed for the funeral, we said our good-byes to Sam and Emily. Sam stood face to face with Daddy: two men, two Alphas. Born in the same generation, but likely to die generations a part. Sam's arm was placed securely around Emily's waist. After all these years, he was continuing to protect his imprint. If I weren't so extremely sad, the picture in front of me would have made me smile.

Sam's head dropped for a moment. He looked doubtful.

"Something on your mind, Sam?" asked Daddy.

Sam's hand wiped slowly across his face. "Yes, Jacob. I was just wondering if anyone has contacted Seth."

"Yes. I did, but I don't think he'll come. If you remember he didn't come to his mother's funeral all those years ago."

Sam nodded. "I remember. I'm not sure that we would want him here, Jacob. On the rez. Then again, I'm not sure we wouldn't want him here." He shook his head in exasperation. "It's a difficult situation. I guess we'll deal with whatever comes."

Everyone was quiet for a second.

"So, I guess we will see you tomorrow, Jacob," Sam said, putting an end to the silence.

Daddy's head nodded in confirmation. "Thank you, Sam, for coming and for agreeing to do the ceremony tomorrow. Leah and . . ." his voice cracked, and his head bowed as he composed himself. He lifted his head strongly, "Leah and my son were two of the greatest Quileutes that this tribe has ever known. They deserve a proper good-bye. I know you'll give that to them tomorrow."

Sam's hand reached out and rested on Daddy's shoulder. "I will, Jacob. I will." With that simple, yet profound promise, they left. We waved as their car disappeared down the gravel road.

"I didn't think to ask how Emerson was doing," said Nana. "That was awfully rude of me." Emerson was Samantha's younger brother. I didn't remember much about him. I remembered that in his wolf form, he was all black, just as his father had been. I'd had a small crush on him as a little girl. I remembered that he was sweet to me and very cute, but I also remembered that he hadn't imprinted on me. I had fussed about that for a month, before I finally got over it.

Samantha spoke lowly. "He's fine. Still living in Chicago, but he'll be here tomorrow. He's arriving tonight." From what I knew, Emerson was still phasing, still young.

Nana didn't look pacified. Her need to be polite and full of manners sometimes made her overly critical of herself and her own actions. Grandpa put his hand on Nana's arm and rubbed it soothingly, "I'm sure they didn't even notice, Esme. They know we have other things preoccupying us at the moment."

That night, we returned to the house, the same house that my family had owned for over a century. I'd always liked this home. After all, this was where my grandparents had gotten married, where my mother had been born and where my father had imprinted on my mother. The house was very special to all of us, holding many precious moments in our family history.

The vampires went hunting, preparing themselves for the few humans they'd be around at the funeral. They always felt more controlled when they'd hunted. As strange as it was for me to think of my family as natural killers, no one could deny that that was exactly what they were-natural killers, defying their nature. Everyone else was asleep in the house, thanks to Grandpa's prescription night meds. Mama had needed them first to rest. Then, the others went for the drugs as well to help them sleep. Everyone was a little hopped up. Everyone except me.

I didn't sleep that night, but I also didn't toss and turn. I just laid there and stared, through my fuzzy vision, up at the ceiling of my Poppy's bedroom. So many moments that I'd had with JJ and Leah passed through my mind, playing like a DVD, like they had since the moment we'd received the news of their deaths. Over and over again. Good moments. Bad moments. Moments just with JJ. Moments just with Leah. Moments with both of them. My mind paused on the two of them, sitting on the couch, grinning from ear to ear, both caressing Leah's swollen belly. I saw JJ watching Leah with awe. He'd always looked at her that way. That was the way an imprinter looked at his imprinted.

At least they went together, I reminded myself. That's how they would've wanted to go. In that instant, I found some peace. Most couples don't get that sort of luck. One is left behind, suffering daily, waiting for the day that they'll be rejoined with their soul mate in the afterlife. But, not my brother. God took them together. They didn't have to hurt. I smiled as I continued to think of the beauty of it. I hated that I'd lost my sister-in-law and my brother and their baby. But, at the same time, if it had to happen, it couldn't have happened in a better way.

Then, my mind selfishly wandered to myself. Would I die alone? It was a scary thought-dying without ever knowing the what that kind of love felt like. Then, literally popping out of nowhere, Seth's face came into my mind.

"Ugh! Get out! Get out! Get out!" I quietly yelled to my head, banging gently on the side of it. Infuriated, I pulled the pillow over my face.

But, unfortunately, he didn't get out. He stayed there in my head, no matter how unwelcomed he was. My mother's words ran through my head. "Isn't it obvious honey? It wasn't me loving Seth. It was always you."

I jerked up out of bed and gasped. It was all clear to me then. The realization hit me. I felt so stupid for not having noticed it before. This was more than love. This was an imprint. I'm going to be Seth's imprint!

If I ever saw him. I couldn't be sure he'd go to the funeral. For all I knew, he could care less about Leah or JJ. I jumped out of bed and began pacing the floor. Back and forth. Back and forth. I knew that only the most narcissistic sister in the world would be thinking of herself after her brother just died, but I couldn't stop the thoughts racing in my mind.

What will he do?

What will I do?

What should I say?

Do I say "thank you" after he imprints?

Maybe I should say "you are welcome."

Nope. That sounds egotistical.

Maybe "I love you."

But, do you love someone just because he imprints on you?

Maybe I should ask Mama.

No. She wouldn't know. She was just a baby when it happened for her.

What should I wear?

Not that that would make a difference, but still.

Maybe that black strapless dress.

Is he really evil?

Can I live with an evil imprint?

Maybe he's just in a really bad mood all the time.

Or, maybe, an imprint could turn him back into a sweet guy.

Oh God! What will the family say?

Daddy will freak!

Poppy will probably kill him!

Oh God! What if Daddy and Poppy piss Seth off and he kills them?!

This is sooooo not going to be good!

Oh! But, I'm going to have my soul mate!

Finally!

But, what if he doesn't show up?

Oh gosh! And, what if he's still out there slaughtering people on a daily basis?

AH! Elizabeth! You are such a bitch! Stop worrying about all of this!

This is not a time that is supposed to be about you! Think about your brother!

Out of breath from wobbling from one side of the room to the other, I plopped down on the bed and huffed out a large breath of air. I turned my head and looked at myself in the mirror.

Tomorrow could very well be the worst and/or best day of your life.

Seth's POV – Present Day

I stood at the border of Oregon and Washington. It was around three in the morning. For most eyes, it would have been pitch dark, but I saw as clearly as I did during the day. I waited outside a nice log cabin and watched the young couple inside of it sleep. I'd left a long trail of bloody bodies from Kentucky to Washington and although I knew I should have felt some guilt, I didn't. I only felt the need for more. The monster inside of me was filled with nothing but pain and trying hopelessly to transfer some of his pain to others. Unfortunately, it wasn't working.

That didn't stop him however from ripping the couple into pieces and enjoying every second of it. After I was finished with them, I surveyed the damage I'd done to the house and to their bodies. My God, I thought. Then I realized that if there were a God, he'd probably quit listening to me long ago.

The scene in front of me looked like a scene directly out of "Nightmare on Elm Street." I laughed a humorless laugh and then screamed as loudly as I possibly could, "I'm fucking Freddy Krueger!" The man that creeps in your nightmares and feeds on your fear. I continued to laugh, until my eyes caught the reflection of myself in a long mirror. I looked myself up and down. "Freddy Krueger," I said to myself, "just better looking."

Some part of my mind registered the fact that I was quickly losing what little remained of myself. I felt every piece of it being yanked away from my heart and mind, slipping further and further into the depths of insanity and hell. And here I'd thought I'd already been to the bottomless pit of hell. I'd been wrong. Evidently, losing my sister and had been the last. I could support no more.

So, on my run from Kentucky to Washington I'd made up my mind. No going back to Kentucky. What was the point in being a police officer anyway? To protect and defend? Who the fuck was I kidding? I protected no one. I was the bad guy and to continue playing the role of good guy was just a hypocritical joke. No more trying to fight what I am. I'd go to my sister's funeral and I'd pay "my respects" to the family. Then, I'd set him free. The monster. I was done fighting my nature. I had not one ounce of strength left in me to fight it. To fight we need courage, inspiration and faith. I no longer possessed anything close to those qualities. I was finished.

I took a shower in the blood stained home and ran naked through the streets until I found a clothing store. Being that it was still in the middle of the night, no one was there. Surprisingly, I found clothes I could fit my massive body into and more clothes to take with me, something to last me while staying on the rez. I found a comb in the store and decided I probably was in desperate need of hair brushing. When I decided I looked appropriate enough for my sister's funeral, I headed for Seattle, where I planned to rent a car.

It didn't take a long time for me to arrive there. Budget was closed, so I sat on a bench outside of the store and waited for them to open. As I sat, I thought about how all this was going to go over.

Will I be welcomed on the rez? Probably not.

Would they try to kill me? Wouldn't do them much good. Hell, maybe they'd succeed and I'd finally be able to get the fuck out of this world.

No. Jake had called me. He'd probably be expecting me.

Or maybe not. After all, I didn't go to my own mother's funeral. Why would they think I'd go to Leah's?

Anyway, who gives a fuck? Not like I'm going for some big, emotional family reunion.

But, what about Nessie? Would she want to see me? Is she mad at me for what happened all those years ago?

My mind wouldn't stop reeling. It's not like I really cared about the answers to any of my questions. I didn't. I didn't give a damn about what any of them thought, felt, wanted or needed.

Except for maybe Nessie. I'd never understood her connection to me. Never understood why, out of everyone in my life, she was the one I couldn't let go. The one I couldn't hate. Could our connection really have been that strong? It's not like I imprinted on her! I shook my head at my stupidity. There I was-a monster who loved killing and screwing over women, who cared for no one-overcome by this half-vampire creature that I knew I could never have.

My thoughts stopped, when I saw a vehicle approaching the Budget store. A man, with a name tag labeled, "John, Store Manager" got out. He looked down at his watch and back at me like I was crazy. As he walked towards me he said, "We don't open for another half hour, at 6 am."

I stood up, towering over him. He took a step back at the sight of me. Clearly, he felt a little anxiety at being near me. As well he should. "I know," I told him. "Just waiting for you to open. I have to drive to the Quileute reservation for my sister's funeral today." At those words, his eyes softened.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said, sounding genuinely sorry. I shrugged, as if to say "What can you do?"

He looked down at the ground, running a hand through his hair. "I suppose I could make an exception. Why don't you come on in and I'll get you set up?" I nodded once in agreement, grateful that I didn't have to wait any longer.

After what seemed like a very long time, he gave me the keys to a black Mustang and I took off, heading towards a place I once called home. The rain pounded on the highway, the sky dark even with the sun rising-a typical Washington morning.

While driving, I continued to question my odd relationship with Nessie, as I had over the last several decades. Clearly, she was Jake's. But, I would be a fool to deny my own passionate feelings for the girl. I groaned loudly in frustration, trying desperately to comprehend the awkward situation I'd found myself in so many years ago.

Just like Jake with Bella, I thought. Hopelessly in love with the wrong fucking person.

Only, Bella hadn't been the wrong person. She'd returned Jake's love for her in the form of her daughter. Suddenly, the pieces fell into place in my mind and I found myself feeling hopeful. Could it be? Could it be that my feelings for Nessie were no different than Jake's for Bella? And if so, did that mean that I was meant for Jake's daughter?

The good Seth felt a bit giddy, but the bad Seth, the overwhelming part of me, felt vengeful. If this were true, if I were meant to imprint on Nessie's daughter, then so be it. I'd take her away from them, just like they took everything away from me.

But, would I be able to? If I imprinted on her, would I be able to hurt her? To hurt . . . what was her name?

Maybe, just maybe, she would take it all away: the pain, the suffering, the loneliness, the thirst, the hatred…. All of it.

Just as positive thoughts began to roll through my mind, they were replaced with the more believable negative ones.

This is fucking ridiculous! Why the fuck would the universe care about me now?

No. it is impossible for me now. The old Seth may have had a chance at happiness, but the old Seth is forever lost.

I banged on the side of my head violently. It probably should have hurt, but as always, I felt nothing. I'd had enough of wondering about what would happen when I saw them all again. And, I felt foolish for allowing myself the small moment filled with even a shred of hope. There was no hope for me and in that moment, I let go of all childish fantasies and resolved to have no more optimism about Renesmee or her daughter.

I stopped at a stoplight in Forks and looked at myself in the rear view mirror. "You are a damn rollercoaster. Get your shit together!" I growled at myself. It wasn't until that moment that I looked around at the old town.

Ha! Not much changes.

And it hadn't. It looked about the same as it had fifty years ago. I hadn't been expecting a big change, but still I was shocked to find so little had been left unaltered.

I continued through the small town of Forks and down the small roads to the rez. As I passed places that once held great emotional significance to me, I scowled, realizing that all of it had been bull shit. As much as the people of the tribe, especially the pack, liked to preach about loyalty and tradition and family…they had no problem abandoning those that needed them most. All I felt was anger as I passed by what used to be Embry Call's home, Jake's old house and my old home. I was left feeling utterly disgusted and ready to leave as quickly as I could.

My only comforts were the words that I continuously chanted in my head: Just the funeral. Then you can get the fuck outta here. Just the funeral. Then you can get the fuck outta here.

Then you can get the fuck outta here.

*A/N: So, just a little build up to the chapter that I would imagine most have been waiting for. Hope you liked it.

Again, I am sorry that it took me so long and thank you sooo much for sticking with me!

Also, I may write the next chapter in third person point of view, just to switch things up a little. I'm curious to see how it would turn out. Please remember that this is my first story and it is like a big trial and error kind of thing.

Anyway, thank you for your patience and I look forward to writing the next chapter for us!

Please review!