Chapter Eleven: Choices

Jean and James kept their impending parenthood a secret; after all, Jean was only a month and a half pregnant, and they didn't want to let anyone know until she was further along, just in case. Jean had accepted the fact that she would have to resign her job after news of her pregnancy became known, but she was looking forward to being able to spend more time with Caroline, her girls, her husband, and their unborn child. After all, her girls would be entering the Senior School in the upcoming year, and at least James would be teaching them, so she would still be able to see them.

As for the portrait that Teddy had given her for Christmas, James had put it into the attic, at Jean's request. She couldn't bring herself to dispose of it in any other fashion – he had spent so much time on it, after all, and it was an excellent portrait. Perhaps, several years in the future, they would be able to display the portrait, but for now, she could not bear to look at it – it held too many unfortunate associations.

On New Year's Eve, Caroline spent the night at Jenny's house, to give Jean and James some time to themselves. James had made a delicious dinner for him and his wife – steak au poivre, sweetbreads à la Milanese, a Caesar salad, and, for dessert, a mouth-watering German chocolate cake.

After dinner, Jean brought James up to their room, forcing him to wait outside while she changed into the nightgown James had bought her for Christmas. She took a few minutes to comb her hair before letting him into their bedroom. As soon as she opened the bedroom door, his eyes darkened and his trousers became tented.

"Oh, Jean; you look wonderful," he breathed, striding towards her and taking her into his arms.

"Thank you, darling," she said, smiling. "I thought that we could ring in the New Year in style." She took his hand and led him over to the bed, unbuttoning his shirt as they moved towards it. He finished undressing himself as she settled herself on the bed, arranging her body in a seductive pose on top of the bedcovers. When he was completely nude, he took a moment to memorise the sight in front of him, before pulling his wife to her feet to undress her as well. She lifted her arms, allowing him to slip off her nightdress to reveal her naked body.

His breathing grew shallower as he walked around her, looking at her lissom form. He noticed that her breasts were already slightly rounder than they had been before her pregnancy, and her skin had a glow to it that was not previously there.

"Jean, you are so beautiful," he said, standing behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. She tilted her head as James kissed the side of her neck, providing him with better access. He brought one hand up from her waist to fondle her breast, while the other hand slipped between her legs. She moaned as he slipped his fingers inside of her, her knees going weak as James continued to caress her.

He laid her on the bed, and she groaned in disappointment as he stepped away from her for a moment. Joining her on the bed, he lay on his side and pulled her towards him. She rotated her hips against his, pressing her pelvis against his erection.

"Oh, James," she moaned as he lowered his head to her breast, beginning to suck on her nipple. Her hands gripped his back and she tightened her legs around his hips, trying to pull him closer to her. Finally he entered her, slowly guiding himself into her.

"I love you, Jean – I love you," he moaned as he entered her. "I love you."

She moaned as he continued to move within her, and he gripped her hips hard, pulling her towards him one final time before they both exploded with fire.

After Christmas break came to a close, Jean, James, and Caroline returned to Marcia Blaine. Everyone had noticed the difference in Jean; everyone had noticed that she seemed to radiate happiness and contentment, though no one except James knew what to attribute the glow to. Jean was much more patient and caring towards all of her students, including Mary Macgregor, and she was even more than polite to Miss Mackay, Miss Gaunt, Teddy Lloyd, and Gordon Lowther, though she certainly did not seek out their company. Everything seemed to fall into place.

One night in late February, when Caroline was asleep and James was upstairs, a knock sound at her door. Jean was downstairs, fixing herself a cup of tea, and she shrugged into her dressing gown before answering the door. It was Teddy Lloyd.

"May I come in, Jean?" he asked her, shivering in his tweed coat. "It's quite cold." She stepped aside and wordlessly let him in. "Thank you," he said, and she led him into the parlour. He sat down in an armchair close to the fire, and she sat on the sofa, as far away from him as she could get without leaving the room.

"Why are you here, Teddy?" she asked him.

He stood up and knelt at her feet. She laid a protective hand on her abdomen as he took her other hand.

"I need you, Jean," he said, bringing her hand up to his face. "I do, my darling. I have not been able to live without you in my life. Please, Jean, come back to me," he begged her.

She pulled her hand away from him, standing up from the couch. "It's time for you to leave, Teddy," she said. "My husband is waiting for me upstairs," she told him. "I just came down for a cup of tea, and he'll be sure to come down and look for me if I'm not back upstairs soon. Besides," she continued, "Caroline is just upstairs as well."

"I don't care. I need you, Jean; I need you so much. You are my Muse – you are my inspiration. I need you, I do – please, Jean, come back to me," he pleaded with her.

Jean began to panic as Teddy came closer to her. "Teddy, please don't..." she trailed off as gripped her shoulders tightly, pulling her down to the couch. "Teddy, don't..." she couldn't continue as he pushed her against the cushions of the sofa, covering her lips with his. She tried to get free of him, but she couldn't, as all of his weight was pinned on top of her.

"No, Teddy, don't!" she cried as he pulled away her dressing gown and lifted up her nightdress. He stopped as he revealed her slightly protruding stomach.

"You're pregnant?" he exclaimed in disgust. "With that bastard's child?" He stood up, turning away from her, and she tugged down her nightdress before wrapping her dressing gown around her again.

"Teddy, please go," she begged him.

He turned back to her, and gripped her shoulders again. "Tell me the truth, Jean – you owe me that much, at least. Are you pregnant?"

"I don't owe you anything!" she shouted. "You are the one who chose your wife over me! And now, just because I married someone who loves me, someone who I love, you have to come in and ruin that! Yes, I am pregnant, Teddy – and neither James nor I could be happier!"

James, hearing the shouting, rushed down the stairs, just in time to see Teddy slap his wife as she finished her tirade against him. The force of the slap knocked her back, and James caught her just before she fell to the floor. She laid a hand on her cheek, looking at her former lover in shock. Her husband guided her over to the couch before standing and confronting Teddy Lloyd.

"How dare you," he hissed, "How dare you hurt my wife."

"She's mine," Teddy said, cocking his fists and preparing for a fight. "She is mine – I love her, and I won't let you stand in the way."

"Jean is not a possession – she is not something to be owned. She is her own person – she can choose who she wants to be with," James declared.

"Then let's ask her," Teddy exclaimed, turning to Jean. "Who do you want, Jean?"

"James," she replied without any hesitation. "I want James."

Teddy's face, which had held such an arrogant, self-confident expression, fell at Jean's answer. "But, Jean..." he said, his voice faltering. "I love you."

"Do you, Teddy?" she asked him. He nodded.

"I'm sorry, Teddy," she said. "But you had your chance."

James led Teddy to the door and watched as he walked away from their home, before returning to his wife's side.

"I'm so sorry this happened, my dear," he said, wrapping his arms around her. She sighed and leaned into his embrace. "Shall we go to bed?" he asked her. She looked up at him and nodded, allowing him to lead her up the stairs to their bedroom.

Two weeks later, the term ended, and Jean officially retired from teaching. Almost everyone was stunned when Miss Mackay announced Jean's retirement from teaching; all but Jean's girls, Caroline, James, Jean herself, and Teddy Lloyd. Gordon Lowther confronted Jean after the announcement.

"Why are you leaving? Were you forced to resign?" he asked her, anxious to know why she was leaving the job she loved so much.

She laughed lightly. "No, it was my decision," she told him, not willing to involve herself in a discussion with Gordon on her last day at Marcia Blaine.

"Did Miss Mackay force you to resign?" he questioned her, desperate to know the real answer.

"No, she did not," Jean said. "It was my decision," she said again, trying to walk away. He blocked her path.

"Why, Jean?" he asked her again. "Why are you leaving?"

She sighed, growing frustrated with him. "I'm pregnant, all right?" she said. He stood frozen in shock, and she pushed past him. When she was halfway down the hall, he ran after her.

"Jean!" he called, and she stopped, sighing as he rushed to catch up with her.

"What, Gordon?" she asked him, annoyed.

"Congratulations," he told her, and her jaw dropped open.

"Thank you," she said when she had regained her speaking ability.

"I could only wish that it was mine," he said, before turning and walking away from her. She stood there in the corridor, staring after him, before she returned to her classroom to teach her final class of her career.