Hello, my favourite readers! I'm back after a lot of technological troubles and set backs.
So, without further delay, here I am full of angst and pain! I hope you like it!
The day she was born was the best day of his life. He became a true believer in "love at first sight". For the first time in his life, he thought that he had done something right, something perfect.
To this day, he can't believe that she shares half of his genes, half of what he is.
She was just a tiny little thing, big eyes and black hair, soft as silk.
The moment he saw her, he forgot all the things that lead to that moment, all the pain, the misery, the loneliness. For a moment, they were alone in this world. And he wished that he could spend the eternity holding her in his arms, close to his heart, safe from all the ugly things that lurk in the shadows.
She was his redemption. She was the good that he finally brought to this world.
But all the roses have thorns and raising a baby on the road wasn't as easy as it seems.
He could see how much Sakura struggle. He could hear her talking to their daughter, telling her about Konoha, about her home, her grandparents, her "uncles and aunts". He could hear her fight back the tears.
The only thing he ever wanted was having his family back and now he was the source of their pain.
And he knew what he had to do.
Telling it to her was one of the hardest things that he ever did. She screamed and cried and fight and argue. But his mind was set. He wasn't saying goodbye, leaving forever, leaving her behind. He was giving her, them the best life that they could have. A safe village, a nice home, family and friends close by.
It wasn't easy for him to say those things. Leaving them behind was never a option. But it was the right thing to do. And it was time for him to do the right thing, no matter what.
So, they went back home. They showed their daughter to their friends, they laughed at their surprised faces.
They found a house and turned it into a home. He didn't want to go back to the compound, it was filled with pain and sorrow and memories, he wanted a fresh start. So they bought a nice little house near the hospital, a little garden in the back, enough space for a familly of three.
They chose the wall paint and the furniture, he painted every room, he assemble every bed and table.
She made soft white curtains for their daughter's nursery, while he painted the walls in a soft pink.
They filled the cabinets with pots and pans and clothes and little shoes and colourfull toys.
They watched while Naruto planted flowers and bushes in the garden, his gift for them.
They threw a party and invited everyone. They thanked the compliments and greetings and he paraded with his baby cradled in his arm, a proud smirk on his face.
But all good things come to an end. His time in the village was limited, he knew that, he knew that he was about to leave.
Sakura begged and pleaded and screamed "why", so many times. Too many times...
And he didn't have an answer, not yet. It just didn't feel right. He will come back, he promised. He will write and visit and this is his home. But he couldn't stay any longer. He couldn't settle down and forget his quest. Not yet.
It was too soon. The world still had so much to see. The enemies were still hidding in the shadows. The peace was still so new and fragille. He had to go.
His last night in his home was long and painfull. They stayed up all night, wraped in each others arms, whispering promises and wishes, tears lingering in their eyes, lips so close, yet so far.
She finally fell a sleep, exhausted and overwhelmed. He watched her sleeping, her steady breath and calm face until the first light of dawn came through the window.
He got up and walk into the pink nursery. He run a hand on the decals in the wall, trees and birds and happy animals that he thought they were tacky and silly, but right now they looked like a poem of innocence and safety and happiness.
He got closer to the crib, light wood and whith tulle, pink sheets and soft blankets, and looked at his daugher.
Sarada was sleeping so soundly, so peacefully. She didn't know that her world was about to change. She didn't know that the man that smiled at her every morning, that give her baths and tells stories about cats and selfless ninjas, the man that was always there, was about to leave.
She didn't know that she won't get a chance to babble goodbye. She was too young to understand, too innocent to know.
And he finally let his tears fall, dropping one by one on the star-patterned blanket. He kneeled on the floor and leaned his head on the wooden bars and he wispered...
"Oh hime... How will you be able to forgive me? How will you be able to look at me and see your father, the man that loves you above all things? How will I be able to look at you in the eye again?" He brushed a hand on her soft cheek "I'm so sorry, baby, so, so sorry... I swear I'm trying to do the right thing. Your father is a man of many flaws, is a man that did so many mistakes, my sweet girl... But I'm trying, I try everyday to be better, to do better just for you. You're my reason to live, you're the reason that I breath. Hime, I'm doing this for you, I'm doing this for you to be safe, to have a home, a familly. Sweet baby, I'll miss you so much... I promise, I'll be back, I'll hold you again. I'll tell you how much I love you..."
He heard the soft crick of the door, he heard her sobs. He got up and hold her tight, he put every bit and every ounce of love that he had in that embrace. He whispered goodbye and walk through the door.
She ran after him, begging and crying.
He turned around, kissed her cheak, tapped her forehead and he finally leaved.