A/N: I'm too lazy to check the reviews and put the best reviewer in the story. I'll still dedicate it, though.
Dedicated to: SecretAgentPirate. Because I love her.
Chapter 10:
Alucard ran towards the screaming. He knew without a doubt what had happened. Anderson. Anderson was attacking Seras. He raced around a corner. There they were. Seras was cowered against a wall, under a window; her hands were pressed to her chest, blood flowing from underneath them. Alexander Anderson stood above her grinning manically. He held three of his cherished bayonets in each hand.
"What the hell are you doing?!" roared Alucard telepathically, "Get up and fight! You're supposed to be me!" Seras' wide, frightened eyes turned to him. "Get up," Alucard said again. She nodded ever so slightly. Her frame shook as she stood. Anderson seemed pleased by this.
"Excellent! Fight me, you monster." Seras eyed him. Finally, she removed her hands from her chest. Blood dripped from her fingers onto the floor. The hallway was silent except for the soft, steady drip. A small puddle formed at Seras' feet. Another drip landed in it and a ripple spread through the crimson fluid.
"Do you want the truth?" she asked Anderson shakily. Anderson nodded uncertainly. "I'm bloody terrified of you!" Anderson blinked.
"What?" he said looking incredibly confused, after all this was the great Alucard…wasn't it? Seras nodded.
"You're crazy! How could I not be scared of you?"
"W-well, I…," Anderson stuttered. This was not what he had been expecting. What happened to the fearless, badass bloodsucker?
"You're insane! I mean what the hell? Where do you even KEEP those bayonets?" Seras asked flicking her eyes over his body. "And all those little pieces of paper." Anderson gaped dumbly at her. What on earth was going on? "And you really need to chill. This whole 'slaying vampires in the name of the Lord' thing is getting a bit extreme. And what about all those innocent people you kill when you think you see a glimmer of fangs, eh?" Seras crossed her arms and continued lecturing, "What you need is to go to a spa. Relax. Get a massage." Anderson was completely shocked.
"I…I," he stuttered, his mouth gaping like a fish out of water.
"Just get out of here, fool," announced Alucard stepping out from his hiding place. Anderson blinked.
"What did you just call me?" he asked indignantly.
"I called you a fool, like you are," Alucard, or Seras as Anderson thought, replied coolly. Anderson bristled.
"JUST because I'm Irish…" Alucard gave a short, cruel laugh.
"Get out of here." For some reason, Anderson shot a frightened glance at "Alucard" before turning sharply and stomping away, leaving the two vampires alone. Alucard's face took on Anderson's lost look of surprise. "He left…" Seras gave him an odd look.
"You told him to…"
"Ya, but I didn't think he would," Alucard said, looking pleased with himself. Seras decided not to tell him that she had telepathically hinted to the Paladin that if he didn't scram she would treat him to a nice, long friendship speech.
"Well, I guess you're more fearsome then you thought. Now, let's get out of here." Alucard happily agreed and tramped out of the building, Seras' wound momentarily forgotten…Somehow.
שּﭏשּ
The moment the left the building a pale and frightened looking Pip ran up to "Seras". "Seras! Are zou alright? Are zou hurt?" he asked in a panicked voice. Alucard bit back his scathing reply after a sidelong glance at Seras' murderous glare.
"I'm fine," he said finally. Though he would never admit it, Alucard felt a small spark of warmth deep in his undead heart at the captain's concern.
"I need to have a word with Seras," said the true Seras with a meaningful glance at Alucard. Pip looked suspiciously between them but left the two alone.
"What's wrong?" asked "Seras". "Alucard" looked at her incredulously.
"What's wrong? My insides are falling out, you dope! This is what's wrong," she exclaimed pointing at the gaping hole in her chest.
"Riiiight," said Alucard, feeling like an idiot, "So heal it."
"That's the problem. I don't know how," Seras replied, "Otherwise, I would have saved myself a lot of pain and trouble." Alucard shrugged.
"Just….heal. There's no certain way to. It just comes naturally." Seras frowned and closed her eyes.
"Heal," she thought. An odd, cold feeling slid across her front. She looked down and saw the huge wound slowly close. "Cool!" A spurt of blood shot from the gash and hit the now shorter Alucard directly in the eye.
"Ow! Watch it," he shouted rubbing his eye furiously and hopping about like an angry toad. Seras laughed.
"Sorry. Didn't mean for it to do that," she chuckled.
"Sure you didn't," Alucard grumbled, wiping blood off his hands onto his mini-skirt.
"Hey! That's dry clean only!" exclaimed Seras noticing what her master was doing. Alucard smirked evilly.
"Better ask Walter to get some oxi-clean," he cackled. Seras was furious.
"Ya, well," she said dumbly trying to think of something to get him back with. Suddenly an idea came to her. Her face light up and she ran off cackling madly. Alucard watched her warily. What had he gotten himself into?
שּﭏשּ
Pip watched in wonder as Alucard bent over something, laughing manically every couple of seconds. Alucard had burst through the door of the van a couple of seconds ago and searched the compartments until he had found Pip's secret stash of glitter, stickers, and all things girly.
"Vat are zou doing?" asked the Frenchmen tentatively. Alucard whipped around with one eye narrowed and stared at him for a moment.
"…"
"Never mind zen," Pip said quickly. Alucard stared at him for a few more seconds then turned around again, once again murmuring and cackling quietly. "How odd," Pip whispered to himself before turning to go find Seras.
שּﭏשּ
The real Alucard was pacing. A look of deep concern was on his face. What could Seras be doing?
"Seras?" a quiet voice said from behind him. He whipped around.
"Oh, it's just you," murmured Alucard almost to himself. Pip frowned.
"Is zis a problem?" he asked, indignantly. Alucard shook his head vaguely.
"Shouldn't we be going?" he asked suddenly. Pip blinked.
"Did zou complete zour mission?"
"Zes, I mean, yes," Alucard replied. Pip frowned at him for a second but then shrugged.
"I suppose ve could leave, zen," he responded, shrugging again.
"Excellent," said Alucard happily, turning a walking off towards the waiting van. Pip stood alone in the night watching the love of his life's back as she left him.
שּﭏשּ
The van shook slightly from side-to-side as it went over a pothole.
"Damn potholes," growled 'Seras'. Everyone stared. "I-I mean….darn those annoying holes," 'she' lamely continued, blushing.
"…"
"Since when do YOU swear?" asked an inquisitive Goose.
"Since he damn well pleases," growled 'Alucard'. Everyone turned their gazes to him and stared.
"Tough day?" asked Pip tentatively. Both vampires make incomprehensible noises deep in their throats. "Guess so," he whispered.
Alucard stared at Seras trying to determine exactly what she had done to pay him back. AS far as he could tell, nothing was different. His hat sat at a jaunty angle on her head, his clothes were all intact and present, and his coat was looking snazzy, as usual. Everything looked fine but Alucard couldn't shake the feeling that behind those sunglasses lay smirking eyes, waiting for him to discover what had been changed.
As Alucard tried to discover his punishment, the van pulled up to Hellsing Manor. As soon as the heavy metal doors were opened, the soldiers began to pour out of the van and return to doing whatever it is off-duty soldiers do. The two vampires followed reluctantly, with yawning jaws and creaking joint. While they walked, Alucard lagged behind Seras in another attempt to discover what she had done. It became immediately apparent what she had done.
"NOOOOO!" he screeched, falling to the ground. "How could you?! WHERE ARE YOU GOD?!" he cried to the lightening sky. The soldiers, Seras, and basically everyone in the general vicinity turned to see 'Seras' kneeling on the ground, arms thrown up to the heavens, and tears streaming down her face. Unfortunately, Pip was in the vicinity.
"Vat's wrong?!" he cried, running to his beloved, "Vat happened?!" He cradled Alucard in his arms, "Vat happened?!" he repeated. Much to everyone's surprise, 'Seras' did not jerk away from Pip and smack him soundly, rather she rested her head on his shoulder and continued sobbing. Pip stroked her back soothingly. "Vat's wrong?" he asked again.
"My….my…..HAT!" sobbed Alucard, pointing a shaking finger at 'Alucard'. Everyone in the vicinity turned and examined the hat. Not much examination was required as the back of the hat had a glitter glue pony with Barbie stickers pasted all over the back. Several of the soldiers burst out laughing while others just stared and wondered what had come over their undead companions.
"But…that's not your hat," Pip said finally. Alucard wiped tears from his eyes with his palms.
"…..I know that….but….I gave it to him," he cried before once again collapsing into Pip's arms, sobbing hysterically. Pip was ecstatic; she had never acted like this towards him. He knew this was his chance and he planned on taking it.
"Seras," he murmured, lifting her chin with his forefinger. She stared up at him. The person who really was Seras was frowning at the two of them. After a moment's hesitation, Pip lowered his head and kissed Alucard…who promptly fainted.
A/N: Great end, right? Hahaha, I developed that relationship on accident and then I decided it would be hilarious. Anyway, woot! Classes are done so I can write more now. Hope you…enjoyed that…sorta. Oh, and we're done with the emoness for now! Alright, I'm done.