CF11
"Oh God Joanne, I killed John. I wouldn't listen to him. Damn it! Why didn't I see it?" Roy wiped at his eyes with his one good arm. The hospital room was quiet; the images were still fresh in his mind. God, he had been so stupid, so proud.
"Roy, honey, Johnny isn't dead," Joanne gave a weak smile. She wiped the moisture from his eyes. "Didn't you hear, Johnny's alive and awake."
"I shoulda listened to him, God Joanne, I should have listened to him."
Six Months ago
Roy kept his silence as his captain was pelted with god knows what in his locker. He knew Gage had taken to coming dressed to shift, but stuff happened and the man kept a spare uniform. Sometimes he wondered if Johnny ever had balls since he never stood up to the phantom. Being a paramedic was one thing, since Gage never kept his opinion to himself about the program. However, something had changed.
Still dripping, Gage walked into the dayroom.
"You have five minutes to get your asses out to the yard. We're having ladder drills," Gage disappeared leaving a trail behind him. He left a liquid gooey mess on the clean station floor as he headed to the yard.
"Hey did you see that," Lingstrom laughed and pointed to the trail his captain left.
"Well we'd better get out there," Roy said never seeing John this mad before. He stood up from his chair, waiting for the other men to follow.
"He doesn't mean it," Worth volunteered, laughed and leaned further back in his chair.
Johnny came in the dayroom to find his men still there. He had a wash cloth and was wiping his face with an angry expression on his face.
Worth, in shock, continued to fall back in his chair hitting the floor.
"You have two minutes to get your asses out to the yard or I'll write every one of you up for insubordination," Johnny turned on his heel, followed closely by five irritated men.
"Since you gentlemen—and I use that term loosely," the cap glared at Roy, "have so much time on your hands and since we have a reputation to maintain, doing well involves work, so let's work on the ladders. You were sloppy at the last fire; 51 was faster, so will improve our time," Johnny held a stop watch.
For the next three hours, the men did ladder drills until they were tired, but not to the point of exhaustion. Afterward they retreated to dayroom to find new orders issued.
"Next shift if you're done with your assignment you can work on another. Paramedics, I want the squad glowing. We want to make a good impression on the taxpayers, they pay our salaries."
The hosemen laughed, irritating Gage even further. Roy had never seen that particular expression on his once paramedic partner, but knew the men were playing with fire—and a dangerous one at that.
"And the rest of you twits," Johnny coughed, "can make the engine sparkle as long as keeping the equipment in working order. I'll be checking daily. Also this station has to be sparkling and glowing every day. I want to be able to eat off of every single floor including the apparatus bay. Any questions?"
The men were in shock.
"C'mon Cap, you don't mean it?" Worth questioned.
"I mean every word and if you don't follow it I'll write you up. You have two choices, follow my rules or transfer. That's all. Now get to work," Johnny retreated to the office.
The next three shifts were tenuous as the men tested Gage and Gage didn't give an inch. He had always complained about Hookraider, but Johnny made him look like a pussycat. Something had changed and it wasn't for the best.
In the dayroom, with Gage absent the men were mad.
"What the hell gives him the right to work our tails off," Worth complained, "we earn our money putting out fires."
"Complain then," Roy was getting tired of the antics of his shift mates and worried about them. Sure he was on the engine but given the right situation he might not make it out alive.
"Oh that's easy for you to say," Lingstrom looked daggers at him. "You worked with the schmuck before."
"Hey," Roy threw his hands up. "I warned and warned you guys. He had a limit but you wouldn't listen."
#######
Things quieted down after that, but something happened, bad was all he could say. It had been a few months since Gage has issued his edicts. Work had become work; he no longer felt joy or even satisfaction coming to the station. His relationship with the rest of the crew and his captain were strained to the point where he didn't have anyone to talk to.
Coming into the day room ready for another shift, he found Gage staring into a cold cup of coffee, looking for answers and looking lost.
"Hey Cap," Roy approached his superior, "You okay?" His paramedic instincts kicked, forcing him to grab Gage's wrist.
Johnny sighed heavily, his chair scraping heavily on the floor. Taking his coffee cup he threw it in the sink, sending shards of glass everywhere. Roy saw a piece cut John on the hand and reached for it.
"Here let me…" DeSoto reached for the hand.
"I can take care of myself, damn it, I was a paramedic!" Johnny reached for a dishtowel and stalked out of the kitchen.
For the rest of the shift, the only time any of the crew knew he was there when they toned out. Cap didn't eat and Roy was sure he didn't sleep. He knew Gage had moved and wished he knew his phone number and address. Gage looked haunted and it worried Roy.
For the next month's shift, things had gotten routine, Gage seemed to take in a perverse pleasure making sure his men walked on eggshells. Maybe it was payback, but Roy was betting it wasn't. Building up courage he went to the cap's office and knocked on the door.
"I'll call you right back," Gage said. "C'mon in."
Roy walked in, making sure to shut the door behind him. He leaned against one of the desks and seriously looked at his former partner. His face was drawn and worn. Black circles ringed his eyes and the man was quietly sitting at his desk. DeSoto noted the various amount of paper work and the still grim face of his superior.
"Um, Cap," Roy cleared his throat. "I was wondering if everything is okay?" Damn, that sounded so lame. Of course nothing's okay.
"I appreciate the concern," Johnny said with no hint of emotion. "But I'm fine. Just fine."
"Sure you are, Cap." Liar! Liar! You're hurting like hell, junior. "It's just if, um, if you need to talk... I'm available and…"
Tones sounded ending the conversation.
#######
Things didn't seem to get any better. Sure, when they worked the fire, his station was the best. All the drills, memos and lectures had paid off, but at what cost. He found Gage withdrawing even more. The man barely ate or slept. As his wingman he was supposed to look out for his Cap.
Knocking on the office door again, he found Johnny hunched over some paper. Roy put a plate of food and glass of milk down on the desk. "Figured you might be hungry," he said solemnly. "Got to keep your strength up, you know Cap dealing with us twits."
John eyed the food and then him.
"Oh, nothing's wrong with it. Might not be as good as Marco's but its pretty close and if you want seconds let me know," Roy smiled and said cheerily.
Roy watched as the food disappeared in Gage fashion, leaving nothing but crumbs and a few drops of milk.
"It was good. Seconds?" John seemed to have revived a bit.
"Yeah, seconds—I'll be right back," Roy took the plate and glass and was back in two minutes. Watching Johnny eat made him feel better.
"Thanks DeSoto," Gage nodded and then went back to paperwork as the squad was called out.
It was nerve-wracking at the station, one minute Johnny seemed to be his old self and then a dark cloud hung over him. Two of his shift mates were ready to transfer out from under the thumb of their crazy captain. Roy felt he needed to stay; something had been eating at his once partner and he hoped to mend their friendship.
After shift, Roy purposely waited for Gage to leave the station. He followed him to his Rover.
"What DeSoto?" Gage said with mild irritation.
"Um," Roy blushed, "I thought we could talk."
"Talk? Talk?" Gage laughed and that hurt him. "There is nothing to talk about," John said with finality. "Nothing, all right. I know who my friends are, and even more so my enemies. So you just go back to your old buddies and leave me the hell alone, got it? Just because we work together doesn't ever, ever make us friends."
Roy stood in shock, never expecting those words to come from the always caring and sensitive man. "Um, yeah sure." Gage screeched out of the yard and DeSoto wasn't sure if he should be pissed or honored since his captain had actually spoke to him on something other than work.