Dinner
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"Are you pretending you haven't seen me in forever?" Bella whispered, under the squeeze of his hug.
"I don't need to pretend," Jacob mumbled back, "it feels like forever."
She snorted at this exaggeration, but his arms held a note of desperation. "Sleep well?" he asked, looking at her meaningfully.
"Yeah, why?" She answered, confused by the question.
"Just wondering," he said, his glance running from her shoulder to her hip.
She rolled her eyes. "I'm fine," she muttered, turning, taking his hand to draw him into the room.
Sue and Charlie were smiling, broadly, in their direction, Seth and Leah in the background, making quick work of a bowl of chips.
When Sue leaned over and Charlie kissed her, Bella stopped mid-stride. She knew, but still, it was another thing to see it.
Charlie didn't miss it, and pulled back instantly, smiling awkwardly at both of them, looking down an.
Sue discreetly disappeared into the kitchen at this point, curling her finger at Jacob, Seth and Leah, "come on, I need some good hands for getting dinner ready. Bella, you catch up with your dad."
"Subtle," Bella said to Charlie, watching Sue, as he drew her into a hug.
"Queen of," he admitted, looking at her, as they let go of each other, sitting down on the couch. Pausing, he asked, "you OK with this?" nodding towards the kitchen, "you seemed kinda, upset." He looked worried, like he'd gauged her reaction wrong.
"Oh, no, Dad, it's great, I'm happy for you, it was just...a surprise to see, that's all."
He'd fessed up over breakfast, his embarrassed flush making Bella feel at home. Renee never blushed over anything, God knows Bella wished she did.
Charlie grunted affirmatively. "You and Jake still seem...happy," he said, his voice precarious over the word.
She looked at him sideways. "You know something I don't?..." she asked.
He shook his head, "no, just...you met someone new, or something, at school?" He looked at her, his face open.
"No," she said, a little too adamantly.
"You sure?" Charlie pushed, his eyebrows up. "Because that would be normal Bella. Jake's...young. You're at college now. No one would judge you if things fizzled out there."
She flushed, looking down. Was it that obvious, how conflicted she was?
"No one at school dad. It's just...it's been about a year since...yeah," she faltered at the ending, feeling the familiar wash of emptiness. "It still...hurts."
Charlie's stomach lurched, remembering the previous fall, and he took her hand, squeezing it.
He regretted his words, about Jacob. If the boy staved off that, he'd take it.
The news he'd kept from her sat uneasily. There would be time enough, later, he told himself. No need to tell her now. In an effort to change the topic, he asked, "so, your roommate still all weird and polygamist and Mormon?"
"Oh, come on Dad, don't be so prejudiced," she said, "She's really nice, just kinda scared, and ignorant."
It was his turn to snort. "So, she trying to convince you to come be a sister-wife?"
Bella smiled at the thought, "No, but she did invite me to church. I declined."
They continued on from there, Bella introducing him to her various professors, friends, and floor-mates.
"It's good you're meeting different people," he said, finally, standing, wanting to get help Sue, which mostly involved her telling him to stay out of the way, with kisses, "broadens your horizons."
Bella wondered, watching Sue and Charlie together, just how broad he wanted her horizons to be. If he didn't approve of Jacob, in some way, who would he approve of?
After their guests had left, several hours later, she asked him, putting away the last few dishes, "do you not approve of Jacob, or something, Dad?"
"I do," he said, "and don't ever think that what I want matters over your own happiness, but," and here he sighed, "don't take this the wrong way. You just...you try to please other people, a lot, sometimes, even when it isn't good for you." He dried the glass she handed him, "you know what I mean?"
She rested, both hands on the counter, hands still soapy, "I guess." She pulled the plug, watching the water swirl downwards. It reminded her, freshly, of the soupy ocean off la Push, of her dive into it last Spring. She hadn't tried to please anyone then. And it hadn't gone well.
They said goodnight, and she trudged up to bed, ready for the silent company of a book.
She considered going to bed in her clothes, but sighed, pulling on the negligee. Her stomach contracted a bit, hoping Jacob wouldn't take it as an overt invitation. She shook her head, she could say no. He wouldn't pressure her.
Finally sliding under the covers, she felt an unexpected cold lump on her back, and reached around. Pulling her hand back, she opened it. Resting on her palm, safely closed, was Charlie's utility knife.
The one she was sure she'd left, running from those ghostly, cold hands.