Serena and Nate walked out of the rehearsal dinner, and it wasn't long before people noticed their absence. First to notice was Carter. He had been watching Serena, as he always did when she was back in New York for fear that she would be conversing with Nate, just as she had been. He had seen Nate and her talking, and watched as he led her out of the dinner. It was what he had expected, honestly. Deep down inside, he knew that it wasn't over between Serena and Nate, but that didn't mean that he liked it. He was at loss as to how he should react. He looked around, and his eyes fell on the pretty redhead Nate was engaged to. Alice, was it? Courtney? He had never been very good with names. No matter, a plan was already forming in his mind.
Audrey Bennett was a little bit confused to see her fiancé leave Blair's rehearsal dinner with the beautiful blonde from his past. She knew all about his former relationship with Serena, because before she had had the guts to approach his at that party years ago, she had been totally stalking him. Well, not stalking…just finding out all she could about him and plotting to find a way into his life. But she had thought everything was over between him and Serena. After all, he had proposed to her. But Audrey had always acted mellow and low-key around Nate, so making a scene wouldn't do. She would just have to wait for him to come back. Not a very pleasant prospect, but still. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Carter Baizen, Serena's paramour, standing in front of her. He was smiling devilishly.
"Carter Baizen," he said, sticking out his hand. "I think the people we're engaged to are in love."
"Audrey Bennett," she replied, firmly gripping his hand, a hint of a smirk playing on the corners of her lips. "And what do you propose we do about it?"
Outside of the party, Nate and Serena were trying desperately to rebuild what they had once had. Whether that was defined as friendship or whether it meant something more wasn't clear to either of them anymore. But they were rambling, babbling, trying to fill the silence that loomed silently all around them.
"And so then I decided, you know, that maybe it was best if I did runway for a little while, because it was really scary to see, like, pictures of myself everywhere. But runway's totally different and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. You have to learn a whole new way of walking and acting and you can't make any mistakes or anything. It's crazy! I think I might stop modeling altogether when Carter and I…get married. I want to do something else, you know. Travel the world. Have sex in every country, as many times as I can," Serena said, laughing hollowly. She was trying to crack jokes and tell stupid stories to distract herself from the fact that Nate's eyes still burned and smoldered the way they always had.
Nate laughed too, and almost wanted to tell her that he'd have sex with her wherever she wanted, whenever she wanted. He decided against that, and instead told his own story. "Audrey wants me to work at her father's business firm, which is really successful I guess, and since I went to Dartmouth I have the education I need and everything. But the thing is, I really don't want to do that. I want to take some time off. I've been working in corporate firms since college, and I want to do something I enjoy."
Serena found herself disliking Audrey more than she already did. "You shouldn't do anything you don't want to do. But what do you wan to do?"
Nate loved how Serena understood him and never pressured him to be something he wasn't. "Well, you know I've always loved sailing. I don't know, maybe I just want to get on my boat up in Maine and take off. Go somewhere, anywhere, nowhere, the way you and Blair and I did that summer when we were 16."
Serena was silent for a second, remembering the blissful summer that they had spent on Nate's boat, Blair and her downing strawberry daquiris and singing oldies while Nate sailed and watched his two beautiful companions. That was the summer everything had changed, though. It was the summer when Nate and Serena's childhood crush had transformed into more mature desire and ambition. It had been the summer that had ended with the Shepard Wedding. But what she wouldn't give to go back to the time when they had been (mostly) innocent, when they could just do crazy and spontaneous things like that. "Yeah," she breathed softly. "I remember that summer."
Nate did too. He remembered it as the time when he and Serena had played drunken games of truth or dare while Blair slept, when he had watched the two girls go skinny-dipping in the middle of the night when they had thought he was asleep, when he had realized what it was really like to be in love. "That summer changed everything, didn't it?"
"I just wish we could go back," sighed Serena. "I wish we could undone everything we did and make it right again." She turned away, a lump forming in her throat.
Gently, Nate turned his face toward his. "Hey, don't cry. We've had our moments."
Serena felt like she was in a movie. The sun was setting softly behind them in Central Park, and they stopped walking for a minute. They looked at each other until finally they couldn't stand it any longer. Their lips came together hungrily and passionately, and even though they both knew that they would regret this later, it felt so right that neither of them could stop.
Back at the rehearsal dinner, Blair and Dan were talking softly. "Did you see Serena and Nate leave?" he asked.
"No, but I'm not surprised," Blair said, smiling. This was how it was supposed to end, this perfect love story.
"Yeah. They've always been in love," Dan agreed. "They're like, the epic love story or something."
"Hey, so are we, Cabbage Patch," she said, her hand creeping slowly down his leg.
"If you say so, Waldorf," he shot back, obviously enjoying where this was going. Their moment was interrupted, however, when Blair gasped.
Dan turned to look, and he couldn't believe it either. In front of them were Carter and Audrey, in a full-on make-out session. They both were absorbed in it and each other, as though neither Serena or Nate existed.
"Damn," Blair said, "What do you make of that?"
"I don't know if I should be mad that they're betraying our best friends or happy that they found each other, since Serena and Nate obviously don't care about them either," Dan said, perplexed.
"If I were you, I'd just be happy," Blair said. "Tomorrow's our wedding day, and it's going to be perfect."
When Audrey woke up, her toes were cold. They were sticking out from underneath the gray comforter of the small bed. She wiggled them and pulled them back underneath the soft gray comforter. Gray? Her comforter wasn't gray/ She shot up, and looked at the sleeping form beside her. That wasn't Nate. Suddenly, it all came back to her. She had decided, with Carter, that the best way to make Serena and Nate jealous was to make out and leave together, in order to make everyone think that they had hooked up. Then things had gotten a little out of hand, and she remembered the way Carter's hands had been all over her. She shivered, wish something that was either guilt or delight. Nate either didn't know how to do those kinds of things to her body or just didn't want to. She was starting to think that maybe Carter was better than Nate in some ways.
She placed a smooth, pale hand on his muscular back to make sure he was still there, real and alive. He shifted a bit, and then his intense blue eyes fluttered open. "Good morning," she said, smiling seductively.
"It is a good one," he said, winking at her. This redhead was good in bed, and she seemed like a cool girl, too. He certainly wouldn't mind spending some more time with a chick like her.
"We have a wedding to go to," she said, as though the word wedding was disgusting.
He ran his hands up her legs, making her moan slightly. Flipping over on top of her naked body, he replied, "What wedding?"
She giggled and spread her long, shapely legs around his broad shoulders. She could always talk to Nate tomorrow. Or the next day.
Serena woke up in a very different manner. She had been dreaming soft dreams filled with warm pastel colors and sweet whispers. But she bolted up, and realized almost immediately where she was. The Archibald townhouse. The place where she had spent so much of her childhood, where she had woken up after countless sleepovers with Nate and Blair. Nate. Serena looked over, and sure enough, he was still there. He was sleeping peacefully, the covers wrapped around his muscular body. She realized then that she was wearing nothing as well, and suddenly felt very naked as she remembered the previous night. It had been everything she had imagined, awkward and real and beautiful. It was like they were young again, young and insanely in love. But everything seemed different as gray morning light streamed in. Serena scrambled out of bed, amazed that she had let that happen. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid as to betray Carter. She couldn't believe Nate had betrayed Audrey. She couldn't believe that they had acted like they were teenagers again, with nothing to lose and nobody to hurt.
Nate woke up as Serena was grabbing around the room, searching for her clothes. "Are you looking for this?" he asked, as he pulled a black, lacey thong out from under the covers. She yanked it away from him.
"We have a wedding to get to," was all Serena said.
Nate sat up. "Serena-"
"Last night never happened, Nate. You and I are as we always have been." Serena painfully forced the words out of her mouth. But the truth was, last night had happened. And honestly, to say that they were what they had always been was to say that they were madly in love and meant to be together, but that didn't really matter to Serena.
"Oh," whispered Nate, injured. He didn't know what to make of any of this. All he could think of was how Serena looked pretty, even on a morning like this. "If you need a bridesmaid dress, there's one in the closet. Audrey was supposed to wear it, but I doubt she'll be coming to the wedding now." He felt a little guilty, having left her like that, but it was for the best. And anyway, it wasn't as if Blair had really wanted her to be a bridesmaid.
"I'm maid of honor," Serena said shortly. But it wasn't like she had time to go home. She paused, considering. Her dress was only slightly different, with a white rose instead of a pink one. It wasn't like anyone would notice. "But I guess it'll have to do."
Nate pulled himself out of bed and had the decency to wrap a towel that had been strewn on the floor around him legs. His movements were slow and lumbering as he walked toward the closet. Serena couldn't help but stare at his perfect body. She almost wanted to rip the towel off of him and run her hands all over his body again. She resisted however, and waited for him to pull the pale pink dress out of the closet. He also took his tuxedo off the hanger. "I'll go change in the bathroom," he offered generously. He really was a gentleman.
Serena waited for him to leave the room before she sank down onto the bed and pulled on the dress. It was a pretty dress, as Blair would have wanted it to be perfect. It was silk, and there was a small pink rose in the front. It was shorter than was fashionable, but it looked hot. As she yanked the dress up, she realized that she was going to need shoes. She would just have to borrow a pair of Audrey's, it seemed. She grabbed an off-white pair that was sitting near the closet and pulled them onto her feet. They fit perfectly. She was borrowing a lot of things belonging to Audrey these days. Serena fiddled with the zipper on her dress and found that it was stuck on a piece of fabric. She nearly screamed in frustration. This was so crazy.
Nate stepped out of the bathroom, looking hot despite everything. "Need help with that?"
Serena didn't want to admit it, but she really did. She didn't say anything, and Nate understood. He paced over to her and managed to pull the zipper up in one smooth movement. That was they way it was with him. It made her want to die sometimes.
"We should get going," Nate said.
"Yeah, let me get my phone," a perplexed Serena agreed. She pulled her LG Chocolate out from under the covers, and picked up the pile of her discarded clothes that she had made. As she opened her phone, however, she saw that she had six missed calls from Blair. Damn.
Serena and Nate stepped outside and instantly she knew why Blair had been calling her. Big fat droplets of water were falling from the sky, and puddles had already begun to gather on the ground. It was raining on Blair Waldorf's wedding day. That was not supposed to happen.
Back at the Waldorf penthouse, Blair was yelling at a frazzled wedding planner.
"I'm sorry, Miss, but God controls the weather," the planner replied.
"THEN TALK TO GOD!" Blair shouted. "GET OUT OF HERE AND DO SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!"
The poor woman rushed out of the room. Blair collapsed on the floor. This wasn't part of the plan. She hadn't even considered the possibility of rain on her perfect wedding day. Things like this just didn't happen to her. There was a timid knock on her door at that moment.
"What??" Blair asked, exasperatedly.
"It's me, Dan. Can I come in?"
He hadn't meant to come, as they weren't supposed to see each other on the day of the wedding, but he was worried about her.
"Whatever. It's not like it matters anymore," Blair sighed. She began to sob, softly at first but then at a louder volume. "It's ruined, Dan. Our wedding is ruined."
He walked over to her and took her into his arms. "Nothing's ruined, Blair. I'm still in love with you, and the sun will come out tomorrow." That sounded totally cheesy, but it was true.
"But- But our w-wedding…" Blair hiccupped.
"I never wanted that anyway. Why do we need to have a big white wedding with everyone dressed all formally in order to prove our love? Let's elope. Let's run away to Connecticut or California or God-knows-where and just get married. We love each other, Blair, and that's all that's perfect in this world." Dan looked down at her, his eyes so earnest and passionate that Blair forgot everything else.
"Where should we go?" she asked, a bit timidly, but with affection and trust in her voice.
"Wherever you want," Dan replied.
Serena was running down Madison Avenue with Nate in her tow when she got a text from Blair. the wedding's off. we're eloping to france and getting married at daddy's estate. mom will tell guests. love to all, see you soon.
Serena smiled a soft, sweet smile, not really believing it but believing just the same. It also meant that she wouldn't have to spend the day with Nate and that she could just go home to her and Carter's New York apartment right then and there. She stopped. "The wedding's off, Nate. They're eloping to France. I'm leaving, though. I'll uh…send you the dress."
He was standing a few feet away, looking at her. "You don't have to go."
Her breath caught in her throat, just as it always did when he looked at her in that pleading, desperate manner. "Yes I do. Goodbye, Nate." Before she knew it, she was running away, as she always had and always would when Nate was involved. But of course, being Nate, he was chasing her down the slick wet sidewalks of New York, him in his tuxedo and her in her pale pink bridesmaid dress. Or rather, Nate's fiancé's bridesmaid dress.
"Serena, I'm in love with you," shouted Nate, keeping pace with her as she ran away from him, her stilettos clacking against the slippery pavement. Rain sloshed down on them, and they were both soaked through and shivering. He clutched her hand, drawing her forcibly toward him. "I tried to fight it, but all my life it's been you."
"No, Nate, no! You have Audrey now, and I have Carter! Stop lying to yourself. What happened last night was nostalgic and sweet, but it isn't how life is supposed to be lived. Maybe when we were teenagers, we could have made this work, but it's too late. There's nothing between us anymore, nothing worth saving. Just leave me alone and move on. We aren't 17 anymore!" Serena yelled, pulling away from him.
Nate called her name, the pain he felt causing his deep voice to crack. Serena looked at him and felt his eyes lock with hers, and she quivered softly. What was wrong with him, anyway? What was wrong with her? This wasn't how it was meant to be at all. Desperately, she waved her hand for a taxi, even though she had nowhere to go. One screeched to a stop beside her and she jumped in, telling the driver to go anywhere, fast. He obeyed, and the cab was lurching through New York City traffic as quickly as was physically possible. "Gotta have an address, Miss," the cabbie croaked. "Won't know where to drive otherwise."
Serena was panting from loss of breath. "Um, 1801 Madison Avenue." It was where Carter was. Her fiancé, the one who could comfort her and help her and make her forget last night and all the other nights and days before that she had spent dreaming of Nate.
Serena leaned back into the plush seat, her mind reeling with what had occurred. Why did Nate always have to be like that, throwing her off her feet when she had just gotten her balance? Every time Nate entered her life, everything spun out of her control and her world turned upside down. Was that love? She didn't think so, but she had never really been in love before. She wasn't in love with Carter, that was for sure. They both knew it, really, but he was happy to pretend and it had been the convenient thing for her until now. She had thought that what she felt for Dan when she was a teenager was love, but she knew now that it was only the sense of security and peace that he had given her that made her think she was in love with him. So was love not knowing what would come next and not understanding the consequences? Was love sacrificing everything to be with one person? This was crazy. She couldn't do this anymore. She had to leave town, get away from this crazy city and never come back. "Actually, could you take me to JFK Airport?" she asked the cab driver.
"All right. Fare's 50 flat though."
"Okay," she murmured.
She didn't know where she was going, and she barely even knew why. She turned to look one last time out the window at her beloved city. She had been in Paris lately, but this was still her home. So many memories were bubbling up inside of her, just like the last time she had left it- what was outside of the cab? She craned her neck and was shocked to see Nate, running alongside the taxi at a steady pace. His face was flushed and his hair was plastered to his face by the rain and his own sweat. Astonished, Serena yelled, "Stop the cab!" The cabbie obeyed, and the vehicle screeched to a halt. She threw him a fifty-dollar bill and slowly opened the door, not wanting to know what was waiting for her on the other side.
Rain fell profusely in huge drops that exploded when they hit the ground, and Serena inexplicably felt as though this was a storm that would never stop, and rain would be falling for the rest of her life. Nate had stopped running and stood silently, facing her. There was a look in his eyes of strangled emotion, of drowning pain and trampled dreams. Serena looked at him and saw the boy she had grown up with, playful and friendly, but she also saw in him the man whom she had fallen for and run away from so many times. "Why?" she murmured softly, her voice full of pent-up emotion.
"Is that even a question?" asked Nate, his voice full of all the emotions that his eyes held. "It's always been you and me, Serena. Since we were little kids. Remember how we used to feed the ducks in Central Park? And how I kissed you that time in seventh grade? Remember the Shepard Wedding? If you hadn't felt something that night, you wouldn't have bothered to run. You never ran from any of your "mistakes" before and you've never run from any after. And I know you still feel something because you still run away from my love and I still have to chase you. But even if I never catch you, Serena, even if you leave and never come back, you'll still be stuck with me because there's no one else for you. And there never will be." He looked at her, his eyes burning with all the passion he had just expressed.
Serena felt a lump rising in her throat. She had been fighting this for so long, struggling with this incredible feeling that was rising in her chest. She looked away, at the cars that were whirring by on the city streets. The falling rain blurred everything in her vision, but perhaps it was teardrops, beginning to fill her huge navy eyes.
"You can't fight it, Serena. It's one battle you're going to lose," Nate said, almost gently.
She looked up into his eyes and she knew he was right. She took a halting step toward him and felt herself drawn into his arms, as though a magnetic force was pulling her. The gap between them was gone, and for several seconds they stared at each other, as though they were unsure what to do. Then slowly, blindly, they stumbled toward each other, and their lips met in a gentle, soft kiss. Tears began to stream down Serena's face, but for once they were not tears of bitter sadness for what she had lost. They were tears of sweet joy for what she had just found.
Author's Note: Ok, so this is basically the end (I might write an epilogue if I feel like it) and overall I'm pretty satisfied. It wasn't exactly the way I expected everything to turn out, but I think it was all right in the end. I've actually decided that I'm going to write a story about the summer that Serena and Blair spent with Nate on his boat, so stay tuned for next time. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers. XOXO!