A/N: Yes this is another relatively pointless authors note, I just wanted to thank all of you who've favorites this story and I want to let you know that I probably would have stopped writing it if there hadn't been as many as there were (although I'd love it if more of you reviewed too). At the moment that I'm writing this there are only 11 people who favorited this story... but that's the most faves I've ever gotten so, I'm glad thanks to all of you whoever you are. This'll probably be the last chapter (not sure cause i haven't finished it yet... maybe I'll add a nice epilogue)

Love and Loss?

Kyon's POV-

Everything that's been happening since the day I saw Haruhi dead has been my fault and the only way to return everything to normal is to accept the fact that she died? How am I supposed to believe she's dead when she keeps showing up right in front of me? I guess that's supposed to be my fault but...I didn't do it on purpose so I find it rather hard to blame myself for making this harder.

'Well, I don't need her anyway. She was only a pain. Let's just forget about her completely,' Somewhere inside of me thoughs like that were churning like the ocean durring a violent storm.

If I was able to say something like that out loud it would probably change the world to how it's supposed to be, right? I wish. Even if I did say that it'd be the biggest lie ever told in the history of the world... no the universe...nah something bigger but i'm not sure what is.

Because by this point even I had realized how I felt about Haruhi, or at least I was pretty sure.

I had always thought I hated her and was only following her around because I had nothing better to do than play the knight that did a horrible job protecting my precious eye-candy Asahina, but that is also a lie.

The truth is I love the annoying, obnoxious, hyperactive, insane, amazing, shameless, frank, prefect, freak, ludicrous, genius, weird, beautiful, bossy, talented, unpredictable girl who arguably ruined my life. The one and only Haruhi Suzumiya.

But now that wonderfully wacky, delightfully delusional, miracle of a mentally deranged girl was supposedly dead. I could do nothing about it.

So as soon as I was able I'd unconsciously tried to replace her? If I'd even been thinking at all I'd have known it would never work! Haruhi is irreplaceable! Was this new long haired Haruhi who knew about everything that I'd never been able to tell the real Haruhi supposed to be my ideal? Well I guess that explains the ponytail... but that's not really the point. That Haruhi was nothing but my own half-bit forgery at perfection, she paled in comparison to the Haruhi I'd known.

Well enough of that, if I kept delaying this decision then I'd probably just wind up attached to this world that I'd apparently created as my ideal.

So here's the question; do I want to stay in this world where I can see 'Haruhi' on a regular basis, or would i rather return the world to normal and let Haruhi rest in peace while she stirs up some trouble in heaven?

Changing the world back to how it should be is the obvious choice, but I can't help but hesitate to chose it. If you were to ask me why I was hesitating I would slap you in the face and say, 'isn't it natural to want to be with the person you love?' Are there anymore question? I didn't think so.

Man, this is an even harder choice than the one back in December... that time the answer was a no brainier, any living being would have arrived that the same answer. But how could I chose between a world with Haruhi and one where she had already died?

It just isn't fair! I wanted to shout, but what good would that do me? I'd still be just as unsure, just as frustrated, just as alone.

So instead I thought to myself, What would Haruhi do?

"Kyon!" Came a conveintly timed shout cutting into my thoughts, I could recognize that voice in an instant.

Haruhi. My Haruhi.

I turned to face her, and she continued to speak, "Kyon return the world to normal! Get rid of that stupid fakeme that you made up! That girl is a total *insert random string of swear words of your choice here*!"

and here I thought the two of them would get along pretty well... before they get in a fight over which of them should be the brigade cheif, then make up and take over the world.

"She's egotistical, cocky, conceited, bossy, smart allecky, childish, illogical, self centered..." She did say more than that but it would probably rot your brain if I wrote down all of it.

I interrupted her, "Haruhi!"

She stopped talking and looked at me with a 'you better make the right choice here or heads will roll' face. I'd definatly gotten her attention, great, but my mouth had gone completely dry... not that I'd really had any idea what I was going to say anyway.

I just did what any reasonable man would do in my situation, I kissed her as I answered her final request.

"Goodbye, Haruhi."

I'll see you in heaven.