Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters and anything Harry Potter related is owned by J. K. Rowling.
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I awoke feeling the weight of all the troubles that had forced their way on my shoulders. Today held no certainties for me. My first week had proven that all that was expected would not happen and all that was unexpected would.
At breakfast I attempted to sit alone but Ginny would not hear of it. She spent most of breakfast trying to cheer me up. Her uncanny impersonation of Professors Trelawney and McGonagall playing a game of wizard's chest did bring a small grin to my face.
"Are you sure I can't get you to give me a genuine smile today", asked Ginny.
"No, I am sorry. I do appreciate the effort though."
"Are you going to tell me what happened between you and the guys?"
"We just had an argument', I answered.
"About…"
I frowned because I was sure Harry would not want me to tell her.
"I wish I could tell you Gin, but it is not really my place to say."
Ginny dropped her head to focus on her plate.
"More secrets meant only for the Trio's ears."
"If you want to you can ask Harry."
Ginny looked back up.
"Like that's going to help me. He never tells me anything."
I could tell that the conversation had taken a sour turn, so I decided to leave.
"I am sorry Ginny. I will see you later."
Ginny nodded her head solemnly while staring off into space.
I went through my morning classes in a zombie-like state while wondering about Ginny's state. Was I guilty about treating her the same way Harry and Ron were treating me? I decided to confront her about it at lunch but when I found her I could not approach her. I stood in the busy entry way of the Great Hall watching her smile and laugh with her surrounding friends. Somehow I always forgot that she had a group of friends of her own. I decided to leave her in peace. There was no reason for me to dump my sorrows upon her.
Lunch was spent in the library doing homework. I figured I should get it over with since I had the Prefect meeting tonight. I decided to eat dinner early to avoid everyone else. Draco's absence did not escape my notice, so I assumed I would represent the Head's alone tonight.
I arrived to the meeting room before anyone else and took the customary Head Girl seat at the head of the table. I was wondering if I should take away Malfoy's seat in order to make sure there were no empty spots when Ron walked in.
He stared at me as if surprised to see me there early. Luckily the other Gryffindor prefect followed suit. An awkward silence hung tensely in the air until the rest of the other prefects entered followed by Professor McGonagall.
"Everyone take your seats", McGonagall announced. "Miss Granger you have the floor."
My pride swelled as I looked upon the prefect faces, minus Ron's.
"We have gathered together in order to set up the schedules for this year's projects", I announced. "First on the list is patrolling. We will need to have the prefects work a rotating shift."
I pulled out the schedules that I had already devised and handed them out.
"This is the schedule that will be followed."
The prefects looked at the schedule and murmured among themselves.
"Are there any questions?"
No one raised their hand so I took it as a no.
"Okay, now we will go on to the Hogsmeade trips."
A girl from Ravenclaw raised her hand.
"Yes?"
"We are still allowed trips to Hogsmeade?"
"Well, I guess so", I answered.
"Do not worry", McGonagall added. "Hogwarts, the trail to Hogsmeade and Hogsmeade itself is being heavily guarded."
"We were heavily guarded last year", a Hufflepuff stated.
"Yeah, and we still ended up getting attacked", the other Hufflepuff prefect added.
Professor McGonagall looked sternly over her square-rimmed glasses.
"I am aware of what happened at Hogwarts last year. This is why security has been increased."
The girl from Gryffindor timidly stated, "I have not noticed any increase in security around the castle."
"Just because you have not noticed the added security, does not mean it is not there", McGonagall stated tersely. "Do you not think it wise to keep some of the castle's securities a secret?"
The girl lowered her head a little and replied, "I guess that makes sense."
"Okay, if the school's security is not of the concern anymore, let us return to the matter at hand."
I took the irritated professor's cue and continued.
"I believe that the first date for Hogsmeade should be the weekend before Halloween. This will allow the students to find costumes for the Halloween ball. Do the rest of you concur?"
All the argument seemed to be stomped out of the prefects for all agreed without hesitation.
"Okay, then we shall continue on the subject of the Halloween ball. Now, this I have not had much thought on so, I shall need more insight."
The group seemed to perk up at this declaration.
"Are there any ideas?"
Hands begun to rise but I was distracted by an opening door.
Malfoy walked through the door looking slightly harassed. Somehow my instincts kicked in and I moved to pull his chair out for him. He noticed what I was about to do and beat me to the chair. I quickly pulled my hands away while mentally scolding myself for attempting something nice for Malfoy.
"Mr. Malfoy, thank you for finally joining us for the meeting", greeted McGonagall.
Malfoy just nodded. From previous experience I decided to keep the meeting going not expecting much in-put from him.
All of the prefects had great ideas for the Halloween Ball. We decided to decorate the Great Room with orange and black streamers, the classic flying bats and floating pumpkins, black candles with blue flame, bouquets of black roses, floating laughing skulls, and a thick fog to roll across the floor that falls slowly from areas where the ceiling meets the wall.
"How about the entertainment", asked Helen a Slytherin prefect.
"We could get the Weird Sisters again", Robert from Hufflepuff suggested.
"But they'll so last year. We need something new", Helen stated.
"We could invite the Dark Empress."
Everyone stared at Malfoy.
"Each of you looks like you've seen a hippogriff run by", he exclaimed.
"Well, this is the first word that you have contributed to the meeting", I stated.
"Granger you know that I don't care which way these meetings go. You seem to have them under control but if you expect me to give mediocre and out dated entertainment to a ball I'm supposed to have a hand in then you do not know me."
McGonagall decided to chime in.
"Do you think that this Dark Empress will be entertaining to the whole school?"
"Of course she will be. She's great. Her songs are powerful, moving and have meaning. The Dark Empress makes The Weird Sisters seem like band that caters to toddlers."
"Oh I agree", the girl prefect from Gryffindor announced. "Her music is like poetry."
"Do the rest of you know of this Dark Empress", asked McGonagall?
In the end the prefects agreed that a change in entertainment would be a good idea. Malfoy agreed to make the arrangements and we ended the meeting on that note.
I walked to my common area happy that our first official meeting had gone well and ecstatic that we had so many plans set up for the Halloween Ball so early.
Until I got to the portrait I did not realize how closely I had walked behind Malfoy. I was able to enter the hole a few seconds before it closed.
When I walked over the threshold Malfoy was already seated in front of a roaring fire seemingly lost in thought.
I decided that it would be rude not to acknowledge him.
"We progressed much farther in our first meeting that I thought possible."
Malfoy just nodded.
"Your suggestion about the Dark Empress was a good idea. The rest of the prefects seemed to really like it."
Malfoy just nodded again.
I decided that a nod was at least good enough. On my way to my room I bid him good night not expecting a verbal response.
The weeks slowly passed into October. My grades were perfect, my studying time was managed impeccably and the potion for Slughorn was in its final stage. Academically I was very happy. Socially I was dead.
Harry and Ron seemed to not want anything to do with me. I could not believe that did not need me. Usually by this time they would be in trouble and come rushing to me for aid. I was seriously considering confronting them but my own stubbornness was getting in the way. I knew that I should bury it but I could not. Pride was keeping me at bay and I was holding on to it as if my life depended on it.
Another cause of my social death was my estrangement from Ginny. She was always so cheerful and happy and it did not coincide with my gloomy existence. Our conversations were always tense and guarded since our discussion about my problem with Harry and Ron. I decided to brake away from her and let her have her happiness with her friends that shared the common emotion.
My common area was quiet as always. Malfoy did not speak at all. I would have assumed that maybe he would have the decency to properly thank me for escorting him to the infirmary. Apparently he did not.
Classes with him went by quietly also. I did not expect civil words but there was also no bickering or exchange of cruel words.
The day our potion was finally finished we bottled our concoction and handed it to Slughorn. He of course exclaimed that our potion was top notch and suggested that Malfoy and I should go into the potion business together. This comment brought a faint smirk to my face as I envisioned a professional working environment with Malfoy.
That night I worked on my homework in my private library. I felt at ease here since it had become my new sanctuary. The book-shelved walls had become my shelter from the storm I continually lived in outside these walls.
As I neared the finish of my homework my stomach gave a rumble. I had not realized that I was hungry. When I looked at the window I could tell that it was late but I decided not to argue with my stomach. I walked out of my room deciding to find something to eat within the kitchen. The darkness that greeted me set my mind on edge. I had never known the common area to be this dark. I decided to use my wand to light my way.
As I walked towards the door that led to the kitchen my ears picked up on the storm that was raging outside. I always found it amazing on how well I could block out distractions while studying.
I was expecting another dark room to greet me. Instead I was greeted by the blinding light of the lightening striking across the large arched window. I was mesmerized by the strong gusts of wind that were howling. The accompanied boom of thunder woke me from my trance and my eyes fell to the bottom of the window. There I found Malfoy staring into the storm.
I knew that I should not disturb him but my feet slowly made their way toward him as if on their own accord. My hand seemed to lift itself as if pulled by a string and reached for his shoulder. His body quickly wiped around as if he were taken off guard. I, myself was taken off guard just as well when I saw the tear stains lining his cheeks.
"Malfoy, what's wrong?"
"That's none of your business Granger", he responded in a low voice.
"Wow, a word has been spoken by the High and All Mighty One", I retorted.
Malfoy looked at me incredulously.
"What do you mean by that?"
"You have been walking around her like a ghost for the past few weeks not saying a word."
"What is it to you if I speak?"
I threw my hands into the air.
"You could have at least acknowledged that I helped you that night you fainted. You could have at least done the proper thing and thanked me."
"The proper thing? Since when did anyone care if I did the proper thing?"
"What exactly did you mean by that?"
"No one has expected anything from me since I have been here and I have made sure of that."
"How? By hiding from everyone, ignoring everyone, missing meals in the Great Hall? By the way, if you have another fainting spell don't expect me to rush you to the infirmary for help again. I hate doing things for ungrateful little trolls", I yelled.
"No problem. It's not like anyone will notice that I'm gone. Everyone would probably be happy."
I wanted to disclaim his last comment but I knew I could not. Since the beginning of the school semester Malfoy had not been on any popularity lists. I was pretty sure that any list he was on would include the word "hit" on it.
"Malfoy it is not like you have not had it coming."
"I know", he quickly agreed. "My actions last year have earned me disgrace from all the school, even the Slytherins. I don't know why I was allowed back to this school. I especially do not understand why I am Head Boy."
"Well, Dumbledore appointed you."
"And I have always considered him a foolish man", added Malfoy.
"It is usually the fools who are found to be the wisest", I spat back.
"Granger I am not meant to be here but I cannot return to the outside world. I am stuck here."
"Who's forcing you to stay?"
"I used to cherish being alive. I used to believe that my life was worth saving. This school offered me protection from the outside world. The world that has Voldemort in it who wants me dead."
I noticed that the wind had calmed down and the storm was passing. As the kitchen grew steadily darker an emotion was starting to form somewhere within me.
"So, you are using the school as a place to hide?"
"No, I am using it as a place to rest. Hopefully it will be my final resting place."
"No! What do you mean by that? You can't mean that you're thinking of killing yourself?"
"I'm not. I'm letting a lack of eating do it for me."
"Draco Malfoy, you are a big idiot! I cannot believe that you are seriously talking about killing yourself."
"Why shouldn't I? Who would care? My parents are working as Voldemort's slaves hoping that they will not be killed by him because of my incompetence. They have completely disowned me in hopes that Voldemort will give them some kind of slack. If they do not care about me why do you believe any other person would?"
I could feel my heart starting to ache.
"Your parents have disowned you?"
"Yes."
"How could they? You're their son. You're their flesh and blood."
"Well, apparently it was their flesh they were more worried about."
"How horrid."
"What else did you expect from them Granger? Did you expect them to welcome me with open arms when they found out that I had failed? One simple task and I could not do it."
"That just means that you are better than them Malfoy. You do not have the heart to kill an innocent man."
"No, Granger. I was a coward and selfish for not finishing out Voldemort's orders."
"No, Malfoy. Your parents were selfish for making you go through with the orders. No parent should put their child through that."
"Mine did."
"And you did not go through with it."
"Because I am a coward", Malfoy yelled at me.
"You resisted Voldemort's orders even though your life was on the line. Harry told me about how you hesitated. You did not want to kill Dumbledore. You did not want to take a life. For that reason I believe there is some hope for you."
Malfoy lowered his head and through the sound of his voice I could tell that he started crying again.
"There is no hope for me. No one cares."
Suddenly I recognized the feeling that had wanted to leap from my chest. I felt sympathy for Malfoy.
"I care."
Malfoy lifted his head and looked at me.
"Why?"
"You could not take an innocent life. That means there must be some innocence in you."
Malfoy gave a dry sarcastic laugh.
"Granger, you do humor yourself."
"Malfoy, I see a shred of hope in you and I would be beside myself if I knowingly allow you to waste away."
Malfoy laughed again.
"Granger, I didn't know you felt that way."
"I am being serious. I will not allow you to waste away under my nose."
"What will you do?"
"I will help you."
Malfoy stared at me incredulously.
"How?"
"First, by making sure you eat a proper meal. If that means that I must lock you in this room and force feed you I will. Secondly, I will be available if you ever need someone to speak to. Malfoy, I do not want to see you give up on life."
"This is a lot coming from someone I've devoted my time to making their life living hell."
"Surprised? I guess that just means I am the bigger person", I replied with a cocky smile.
"And Granger, I am thankful for what you did for me. I mean taking me to the infirmary."
My mouth dropped open in surprise. Even after our talk I could not believe that I had gotten an apology from him.
"You see Granger. Even I can surprise you."
Thank you for reading this chapter. I must apologize for not getting it up sooner. In the past two months I have been working on finals, graduating and job hunting. Hopefully this chapter has made up for it.
Please review. ^_^ -ebonpinion