Wrapped up together in the blanket neither one of them spoke for awhile. It was enough to just
hold each other. The moon glinted silver on the lake and shone in her eyes. He kissed her and
watched them drift shut as her arms wrapped around his neck.
He put everything he had into that kiss, hoping she could tell how he felt about her. As hard as
it might be he knew he needed to say it. Jackie was a very verbal person-she liked to say and hear things, even though she had a very strong sense of intuition. She had always seemed to know what he was feeling. Hell, sometimes she knew even before he did but one of his biggest regrets was not talking to her when he should have, when it was important. Like now.
"I didn't want you to leave," he said, tilting her face up and kissing her nose. Her eyes slowly
opened.
"What?"
"When you left for Chicago. I didn't want you to go. I just didn't know how to tell you. Then
when I finally got the balls to come after you-there was Kelso. I know," he stopped her from
talking by kissing her. "I know nothing happened between you. But I was just so mad and you
know me…"
"You do stupid things when you're mad," she said quietly.
He sat up and pulled her onto his lap, wrapping the blanket around them.
"Hell, yeah. What could be stupider than marrying someone you don't even know?"
"Staying married to her?"
Damn, she was quick and she hadn't lost her ability to burn him. Especially when he deserved
it. He laughed harshly.
"I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I was hurting and I knew it would hurt you if I
let her stay."
She nodded but didn't say anything which surprised the hell out of him. Even though she had
said earlier that she had let it go there had to be something she wanted to say about the whole stripper wife thing, right? Some residual anger left. He cleared his throat and she glanced at him.
"I want you to know that if I could take it all back, I would. Not just marrying her but everything
that led up to it. And afterwards too. I was a fuckin' prick to you."
She nodded again, still silent. It was starting to piss him off. Here he was spilling his guts, as much as he was able to, and she wasn't responding. The old Jackie would have been on a rampage by
now, yelling or crying. Probably both actually. But this Jackie just stared out across the lake,
holding onto his arm which was wrapped around her waist.
"Of course, she was a stripper…" he drawled and her eyes flashed. Good, that provoked a
reaction out of her.
"Yeah, she was a skank," she snapped.
He grinned, "That's true."
"And you never loved her," she said, watching his face now.
"Also true," he nodded.
"It should have been me. You should have married me," her voice was soft and sad.
"And that's the truest thing of all," he said, feeling like a girl or Forman but she needed to know
she was right. She moved so that she was straddling his lap. Nice but distracting.
"Listen, Steven. This has been the craziest day. I was supposed to get married today and here I
am with my ex-boyfriend, who screwed me over for a stripper…"
"Hey, I thought you were over that," he grumbled.
"This is me being over it, Steven. I listened to you. Now will you listen to me?"
He sighed. This could take awhile and her gorgeous legs wrapped around his hips was seriously
disrupting his ability to pay attention to what she was saying. He took a deep breath.
"I'm listening, doll."
Taking his face in her small hands she looked into his eyes. God, his eyes were so beautiful but
she couldn't let them divert her from what she needed to say.
"All my life I thought I was a Princess. My parents told me I was pretty and they taught me to believe in fairy tales and happily ever after. They gave me whatever I wanted. I guess I was
spoiled," she stopped when he snorted and gave him a stern look.
" I think they just gave me stuff so I wouldn't notice they were never around. Michael told
me I was special but he cheated on me all the time. Then there was you-and I loved you so much.
I thought we would be together forever. But we know how that turned out, don't we?" she
frowned, unable to keep the bitter edge out of her voice.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I haven't believed in fairy tales for a long time. When
Jake came along it was like maybe I'd get another chance at the castle and Prince Charming."
Hyde felt a flash of what he knew was jealousy. He'd always been possessive of her, even
when he no longer had the right to be.
"Remember when I was your knight in shining armor?" he traced a path down her cheek with
his fingertip.
"But you never wanted to be," she said.
"That's not true. It was actually kind of cool to be that guy. I just wasn't any good at it."
"You were when you tried," she smiled. "But there is no Prince Charming. It turns out Jake is
just a really nice guy that I tried to love and ended up hurting. There is no knight in shining armor
anymore either."
He felt his heart jerk in his chest, like he was flying down the highway in the Camino and hit
the brakes hard, skidding sideways. Was she saying she didn't believe in him anymore? "What do you mean ?"
She looked up at him and shrugged. "You probably won't believe it but I don't want the fairy
tale anymore."
A year ago he would have told her that was bullshit but a year ago he was married to a woman
he didn't know or love. A year ago he and Jackie weren't even speaking to each other unless it
was to cut each other down. He had been really nasty to her and he felt like shit about it. If he
was lucky she would let him make it up to her. Maybe now was a good time to start.
"Then what do you want, Jackie?" he asked, pulling her closer. She rested her head in the crook
of his neck.
"I don't know what I want right now. It's enough that you're here."
"Who are you and what have you done with Jackie?" he half-joked, shaking her a little.
She laughed and he could feel it against his chest. It was the best feeling in the world-besides
holding her and kissing her and fucking her and a hundred other things she made him feel.
"I know, right? Jackie Burkhardt always wants something, doesn't she?"
"Maybe it isn't so much about wanting as it is about needing," he suggested. She popped up
from the warmth of his body.
"Wow, Steven, that's really deep."
"Get bent," he grumbled. She laughed and wrapped her arms around him.
"Seriously, Jackie. What do you need?" he murmured against her sweet smelling hair. It was
weird but now that she wasn't demanding anything from him he wanted to give her everything-
himself included. Whatever would make her happy, whatever she needed.
She sighed, "Right now, I just need this-you. Here."
A year or two ago that would have been perfect. It would have been all his stupid teenage self
wanted-to live in the present and not worry about the future. Because the future could seriously
fuck you up, if you let it.
But now, after the hell that was Chicago and the year without her, living in the present wasn't enough for him. Funny how their positions had reversed. She had always pinned her hopes on
the future and he had wanted to live only in the present. Maybe they could meet in the middle
'cause he needed to know they were going to be together. That she would be his forever. God,
that was pretty intense and so foreign to him it was a little scary. Almost as if she'd read his
mind she spoke.
"I don't need you to promise me forever, Steven. I just need to know that you loved me."
There was so much behind what she said –so much pain-that he almost couldn't answer her.
God, he had never meant to hurt her so much that she doubted what he had felt for her or that
she didn't believe in forever anymore. This girl who deserved "forever" more than anyone.
Authors Note: We are almost done-just one chapter and an epilogue left. Hope you are enjoying it-
please review. It would mean a lot!