Chapter 11: Skyrender
A/N: Hiya again! Short chapter alert, just to warn you…and I apologize in advance for my terrible Japanese! All translations are very very literal, so that probably means they're wrong. Please don't be offended by my ignorance
Thank you, thank you, new reviewers (Ree-kun and Kinaia)! And to my latest subscriber, Kaus-y! Yay, it totally makes my day to see the numbers growing and growing…
All kidō spells that are in this chapter, I made up. Hopefully, there are no conflicts with the numbers and any existing kidō created by Kubo-sama.
Oh, and there are not one, but two songs in this chapter: first, "Cloud Nine" by Evanescence (LOVE them!) and then "After All" by Delirium.
Okay! Enough banter; I'm sure you're all waiting to know what happens next so ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!
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"If I smile and don't believe/Soon I know I'll wake from this dream"—"Hello" by Evanescence
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If you want to live, let live
If you want to go, let go
I'm not afraid to dream
To sleep, sleep forever
How could he have done this to me?
I don't need to touch the sky
I just want to feel that high
And you refuse to lift me
It was only a kiss! And he kissed me back, too!
Before he pushed me away…
Guess it wasn't real after all
Guess it wasn't real all along
Oh, Tōshirō…
If I fall and all is lost
It's where I belong
Tōshirō, Tōshirō…
"That's 'Hitsugaya-taichō, to you."
Why?
He'd spent all this time, trying to help me, so he said.
That means he had to have cared.
About me.
If you want to live, let live
If you want to go, let go
I'd thought that it meant maybe, just maybe…
I'm never gonna be
Your sweet, sweet surrender
…he'd loved me, too.
Guess it wasn't real after all
Guess it wasn't real all along
If I fall and all is lost
No light to lead the way
Remember that all alone
Is where I belong
In the past weeks, I'd depended on him so much.
"Stay away from me!"
Everyone else had responsibilities.
Except for Tōshirō.
He'd made me his responsibility.
Helping me, healing me.
But now, he'd hurt me.
He'd let me go.
"Please…don't let me go."
"I would never…Momo."
He'd lied.
What if…?
In a dream
Will you give your love to me
Beg my broken heart to beat
…that wasn't the only thing he'd lied about?
Save my life
Change my mind
…Aizen-sama…?
If I fall and all is lost
No light to lead the way
Everyone else had responsibilities.
Tōshirō was gone.
Remember that all alone
Is where I belong
I'd never been alone before.
Ever.
I'd always had someone…
But now…
Not now.
There was nowhere to turn.
I was alone, being swallowed up in the darkness, and falling, falling…
…because he'd let me go.
"You're a liar!" I screamed through my tears. "A liar, that's what you are, Hitsugaya Tōshirō! A cold-blooded – heartless – heart-breaking – liar," I sobbed.
I felt an agonizing ache within me, as though my heart were being physically broken.
He'd hurt me.
Because he was a liar.
Liars lie.
About lots of things…
Aizen-sama.
I crawled across my futon to my pillow, reached under, and withdrew two things: my badge, and the small slip of paper.
I looked at the badge first. I could see my face in it. Red, blotchy, streaked with tears.
I put it down.
I looked at the paper, with its series of kidō spells. I read the spells once, twice.
I smiled.
I'd made my decision.
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One element, flowing into the next, flawless, effortless.
A medley.
A dance.
Let your will guide you, and anything is possible.
I knew what I wanted, and willed it to be so.
Guided by burning desire, I began my dance.
A whole new world lay before me…
…literally.
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She knows the voices in her mind
They tell her
To leave
That day, I'd discovered how to create portals without the aid of a physical key of some sort, as was required normally.
Why I'd been trying to make a portal, I hadn't known. But, somewhere, in the darkest corners of my forgotten dreams, I had likely suspected that this day would come to pass.
She's tired of smiling madly
Until silence becomes very silently
A noise in her mind
I'd experimented, eliminated.
When I'd found the correct sequence, I'd written them down, knowing I would need them, but not when or why.
Until now, that is.
After all she has nothing inside
No good to give
No meaning to live
The mist engulfed tonight
Every single star
I had everything that I needed.
I was ready to leave.
After all they shared
How could he simply say no?
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn't cry
That was really just a lie
I tied my badge firmly back onto its rightful place on my upper arm, grabbed the sheet of paper, and stood resolutely in the centre of my room—trying to suppress all the pain, and all thought and emotion with it.
She knows the noises in her mind
Nothing's left but
Screaming silence
"Bakudō 48: tokuketa [column shield]."
A circular shaft of blue light sprang from the floor around my feet and rapidly shot upwards, disappearing into the ceiling. Such a shield, I had learned long ago, was impenetrable from the inside as well as out, and such quarantine was necessary.
"Bakudō 86: shikaku kagiri-no-nai [vision unrestricted]."
This was an interesting spell that could be used in battle to see hints of your opponent's intents in visible forms around them. But, like most kidō, it had other, lesser-known effects as well. I could now see the entire floor aglow with rippling streams of light, constantly shifting and changing. These were the seams between this world, this dimension, and all others.
I waited until the one I wanted passed into the column. I wasn't able to tell by looking, but I felt a pull towards one seam, one rift, and one only –
After all she feels numbness inside
The feeling's gone
She's upside down
"Bakudō 98: toki hyōketsu [time freeze]."
Within the shield, the seams ceased their dance. Around me, the others continued to shimmer and bend, but these weren't important to me.
Time freezes don't last long, so I had to act quickly. I couldn't turn back now.
The pictures behind her closed eyes
This time you went too far
Not that I wanted to turn back. There was nothing left for me here.
After all they shared
How could he simply say no?
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn't cry
That was really just a lie
"Hadō39: gōruden byayan [golden light arrows]."
Twenty globes of light formed above my outstretched palms. I dropped my hands, and they shot off in different directions. Once they hit the side of the column, they bounced off, ricocheting in a new direction. Every time they impacted, their speed gradually increased. I could see the globes knocking into the column into a square shaft, and the light turned from a soft blue to a brilliant, blinding white.
After all she has nothing inside
No good to give
No meaning to live
The mist engulfed tonight
Every single star
Crouching, I placed my hands on the seam I wanted. Drawing in a deep breath, I intoned, "48, 86, 98, 39 – together, you are hadō 101: arusorasakeru [skyrender]."
A burst of light flared under my hands, and a shockwave rippled out to the corners of the shaft, before dissipating as it struck the sides. The square beneath me was now black; a pit of pure darkness and nothingness.
I was struck by a pang of fear, like a white-hot needle through my stomach.
After all they shared
How could he simply say no?
After all they shared
He turned away from her to go
She said she wouldn't cry
That was really just a lie
But I wasn't falling; I was rising, and the walls of the shaft were closing in, pressing my arms to my sides, burning…
I couldn't move; I couldn't breathe.
Bit I suppressed my fears deep down, and let the old feelings return, wiping my mind blank, comforting me, an intoxication I lusted after.
Aizen-sama…
…I'm coming.
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A/N: Yay! New chapter!
What? You mean you're mad?
You know that it's not a good story unless we make things a little more interesting. Don't you trust me?
Oh, and larkinlover; please, please, don't beeyotch slap Momo. Resist the urge! I made her do it, after all…
And we'll just see what I make happen in the next installment, won't we? Only I haven't actually finished writing it yet, so I can't give you a preview this time. Sorry…
Hang in there, though! And in the meantime, review! Or subscribe! Or fav, or pm or whatevs, I'm not picky^^
See you next chapter and maybe I'll earn a bit of redemption in your thoughts…
…or, maybe not!
Byez!
~Raye Lynne