Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Nor do I make any money.

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Ron stood there staring into those soft grey eyes that were pleading with him. He couldn't believe that he had kissed Lucius Malfoy anymore than he could believe he just used the word soft to describe the grey eyes that used to send chills done his spine. Well, a different set of chills then the ones he had felt when Lucius' lips touched his.

He didn't know what to say to Lucius. He was asking so much. Maybe even too much.

And though Ron could tell that there was no expectation of him – Ron found he couldn't say yes.

Though he wanted to very badly. He wanted to more than anything.

"You don't want me here," he whispered, bowing his head in shame. "I'm broken. I'm bad news."

"Yes, I do. I wouldn't have offered otherwise. Please let me help you."

The gentleness and surprising kindness in Lucius' voice struck something in Ron. He wanted in that moment to let go: to let his body come into full contact with Lucius; to let him hold him like in that dream he had a couple of weeks ago; and to let him take care of him like he offered. Like Ron wanted him too.

But why in the world would Lucius want a broken man? Someone who wasn't really even a man anymore? Someone who avenged his lover's death? Someone who had abandoned his own flesh and blood? Someone who was preparing to walk away from everyone and everything he ever knew just as soon as the verdict came in? In order to save them from him.

Who in their right mind would want him? He was nothing.

"I'm broken," his voice painfully quiet. He allowed Lucius to pull his head up, forcing him to look at those soft grey eyes full of worry. Taking a deep breath he removed Lucius' hands from his face and continued, "I died that day with Hermione. They should have just buried me too. I'm so sorry Lucius. I'll just bring you down."

Stepping back, he quickly moved up the stairs and away from Lucius who was calling his name. But he wouldn't respond. He couldn't respond.

If he did, he would stop. If he stopped, he would stay. And he couldn't be a burden to Lucius too.

He just had to get out of here as he took off running for his suite. Before he would stop. Before he would give in. Before he would do what he really wanted to do.

Who cares if he was abandoning his post? Firing him wouldn't change one thing. He'd be long gone before they could even draw up the paperwork.

Reaching his suite, he started throwing his stuff together. He had flung his bag on his shoulder just as Lucius opened the door.

"Wait," Lucius said, his voice strained from trying to follow the well-trained Auror. "Listen to me..."

"I'm sorry. I really am," Ron replied, cutting him off. "This way is better for everyone involved."

Lucius didn't have a chance to say anything more before Ron Disapparated. For the first time, Lucius knew what it was like to feel complete and utter panic. He didn't know what Ron was capable of and was so afraid he would hurt himself. And he couldn't let that happen.

Conjuring his patronus, he sent word to Potter via the silvery peacock that Ron had left.

Then one to Draco with the same message.

Then one to Ron. Asking him to come back. To talk to him. To talk to Potter. Anything. He didn't care. Just as long as he came back.

When the silver peacock appeared in his kitchen, Harry did a double take. He couldn't think of a single person who had a peacock as a patronus until Lucius' voice filled the kitchen with the ominous message .

"Ron's left. I think he's going to do something drastic. I don't know what."

He watched his wife's hands fly to cover her mouth. Harry didn't know how long they stared at each other before Lily pipped up, "Daddy, where is Uncle Won?"

Harry didn't have to say another word as Ginny started gathering the children and telling him, she was taking them to Burrow and then she'd be able to help; she'd signal the rest of her brothers while she was there.. He was about to Apparate when a knock sounded at his front door running to it, he flung it open, hoping to bloody hell it was Ron.

Instead there stood a harried Draco, who simply said, "What do you need me to do?"