"You have officially lost your goddamned mind!" Cindy screamed blared over the phone receiver. I had to set the phone down and put it on speaker to spare my eardrums.

"Maybe I have."

"There is no maybe, Jazmine! You're mind flew straight out of that lion's mane of yours and is vacationing somewhere in 'Bitch ain't got no sense'-land."

"Very clever Cindy."

"Don't get smart with me! You lost the ability to be smart when you caved!" My fingers tightened into fists in the shirt I was folding. Being chewed out by Cindy, while trying to pack all my clothes before Huey came by tomorrow morning, was already taking a toll on my patience.

"Cindy relax before you pop that baby out sooner than expected."

"I am not going to relax! Do you know how stupid and weak you look?! All that bull about not needing Huey anymore and you're running right back to him!"

"I am not running back to him!" I shouted and tossed the wrinkled article into one of the many suitcases scattered over the floor.

"Yes you are! You're trying to make it seem like you're being so selfless, moving back in for X, but really this is just giving you the excuse to try to patch things up because you're so in love with your cheating bastard of a husband!" I snapped. The familiar wail of tears came flooding down my face, but I wasn't sad, I was angry. Picking up the phone, I turned the speakerphone off and held it to my ear.

"I don't need this. I do not need this! It's so easy for you and Erin and everyone else to judge me! I am barely holding it together as it is and you are not helping. People like you think it's so easy to make a decision, always got something to say; always bragging what you would do and what I should do; how I should handle this situation. Well until Riley, God forbid, cheats on you and forces you to make the choices I have to make, I will be fine without your criticisms. Do you think I enjoy crawling back to Huey with my tail tucked between my legs? Do you think it's easy for me to go back to him knowing that he took literally all I had to give and threw it back in my face? Do you think it's easy going over every memory he and I ever made and wondering if it was a lie? Wondering if that was a day he had seen his mistress; wondering if he would have left me if X was just a little bit older. Do you think it's easy to look at that man, despite countless nights wishing I could tear my heart out and feed it to a pack of rabid hyenas, and admit to myself that I am still in love with him despite all of this? No it's not easy, but my feelings don't matter; I am putting aside my discomfort because my son needs me to. Maybe it would be easy if I were like your mother and just didn't give a damn about anyone but myself!" I ended the call and threw the phone so hard into the wall I thought it shattered. But it was an iPhone; if it could stop a bullet it could handle a little rough handling.

Cindy had pissed me off! Yes she was being honest and was looking out for me, but right now I didn't have the strength to hear it. X needed his family back together and I was going to put aside my personal feelings for his wellbeing. Just because Huey and I were going to continue to live as husband and wife didn't mean I had to love him. That was such a Western idea that love was the foundation for marriage. Thousands of marriages had been forged for the benefits of family; why should mine be any different? My cellphone rang again and I shuddered at the caller ID.

"Bitch you have gone off the deep end! Don't make me have to call Usher to save your mulatto ass before I kick it. This beezy gone make me call Usher." I sighed. That was a low blow of me, but honestly! I never asked her to like my decision, but I needed her support. Moving back in with Huey was a colossal step; in which direction I was supposed to be going I don't know.

"Cindy I will hang up on you again." I warned her.

"All I'm saying is to make sure you're trying to play house for the right reasons."

"Play house huh?" I didn't miss the irony of the situation. Huey had spent our childhood shattering illusions and all for our marriage to become one huge game of make-believe.

"So what are you going to tell Dane?" I hadn't gotten this far in the plan yet. Surprisingly I didn't feel guilty; I mean Dane knew I was still married so I wasn't leading him on.

"I'm going to tell him to move on. I can't let him interfere with the charade; it would just let X know that we were doing this for his sake and it would make him feel guilty.

"Hmm so no ménage a tois for Mrs. Freeman?"

"No Cindy, at least not yet." Cindy easily caught on to the sly tone in my voice. It was good knowing our friendship was so air tight we could survive some nasty comments.

"When are you going to start on the nursery? I have to get an extra key made for you; no sense in us always having to let you in, especially since I'm not allowed to see anything."

"I'm going to start on Sunday ; all of Saturday will be spent moving our stuff and giving away furniture to the shelters."

"You sure you don't want to take a little time to gather yourself? This is all pretty drastic." I heard the doorbell ring.

"I need something to occupy my mind so it doesn't berate me over the ignorance of my own choices. There's Dane now, I'll probably see you tomorrow, but if not then definitely on Sunday."

"Ok girl, be safe. And by safe I mean if I don't see you Saturday, don't have me on the 6 o'clock news looking stupid like Anthony Dodson talkin' bout how I didn't think you were the 'cell-block tango' type."

"He had it comin'!"

"That's what they all say!" I laughed and hung up the phone. Cindy could be a bit much, but she always knew how to get her point across then lighten the mood. I walked to the front door, opened it and stepped aside to let Dane in. He hugged me and kissed me before taking in the frazzled yet somehow still organized state of the condo.

"Going on vacation?" I joked as I grabbed his hand and led him to the couch.

"I wish, actually no. I have some bad news."

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah uh-oh is definitely the correct phrase." I took a deep breath.

"Just take your time, there's no rush." There was a rush; I just wanted to get this over with.

"I'm moving back in with Huey so he and I can pretend to be a family again for X's sake." I got it out all in one breath. Dane stared at me, as if his brain was still registering. His face furled in confusion then shock. It would have been comical if it weren't for the fact that I didn't want to hurt his feelings. His hand stopped stroking mine and simply rested limply on my knee. I bit my lip in anticipation. He looked at me as if he was trying to figure me out.

"So you're giving up your hard fought freedom and happiness, for someone who isn't worth the ground you walk on in a romantic sense." I nodded. He sighed and sank back into the couch. Seconds that felt like a millennia passed between us. The air was thick and heavy with words that needed to be said, yet neither of us knew how to say them.

"Do you love him?" His voice was quiet yet it held a calmness in it that was soothing on my frayed nerves. I looked at him, trying to find the right words to say.

"I would be lying if I said I didn't." The time for lies was over. The truth was such a powerful thing, yet rarely heard.

"You're not just going back because this is what your son needs, are you?" I could feel the tell-tale prickling of tears at the nerves of my eyes.

"I think I'm quite the masochist. There is a part of me that just won't let go of the hope that maybe Huey and I can find that spark again, that maybe just maybe our entire relationship wasn't a lie; that this isn't the end of our story." Dane leaned back on the couch and invited me into his arms. I crawled up to him, and he held me safe and warm like a child. I waited with baited breath for him to judge me, to condemn me, just like Erin, Cindy, and the rest of the female population who hadn't gone back to a cheating husband.

"Do you believe that X needs you to make his family whole again?" I nodded into him. He rested his chin on my head.

"Then you are a great mother." I looked up suddenly. I was not expecting that.

"What do you mean?"

"You're doing what you believe you must for your son. That's all any mother does; she does what she believes is right at the time. Right may not always be the best option, it may not always be fair or just, but it's not a mother's job to be fair nor just; it's her job to be right. Many women would not be able to make the decision that chose. Many times women and men who have been cheated on chose to place their own personal feelings above the needs of their child. Not saying that everyone should stay in a detrimental relationship, especially not if it's abusive because that isn't safe for anyone. But you feel that this is what your son needs you to do; trust a mother's intuition, God gave you that most powerful tool for a reason." I melted into him and absorbed his words. They were soothing to my restless spirit. He rubbed small circles in my arm.

"How are you so perfect?" I didn't understand how this man had found me.

"I'm not perfect Jazmine. I have many flaws. Some would say going after a married woman is a flaw. Some would say desiring that married woman to leave her husband for me is a flaw. But it is truly sad that women have been conditioned to be weary and build fences against men who treat them the way they ought to be treated; with respect and like queens, thinking that we automatically mean trouble. You've become so used to scrounging for the scraps of affection your husband gave you for so long, Jazmine, that you have forgotten what it's like to feast on true love and passion. Your husband has a good star looking over him, to grant him a second chance; I hope he realizes the grace he's been given." We sat in silence watching as the sun set and danced through the windows of my condo. After the sun had cleared the horizon, Dane unsettled himself from me and stood up.

"I should bid you goodnight." I remembered those words. Biting my lip, I stopped him before he reached the door.

"You don't have to go, Dane." He stopped with his back to me. I couldn't tell if he remembered the significance of those words. He turned to me and looked into my eyes, scanning the recesses of my soul to decipher the hidden meaning behind my repetition of that phrase.

"Are you asking me to stay?" He stood stalk still as I approached him this time. Laying my hand to his cheek, his head settled into my palm. He closed his eyes before kissing my palm and looking at me again.

"I'm asking you to stay." That familiar lurch of anxiety clouded my stomach. I wouldn't blame him if he walked out the door and never looked back. It was a lot to ask of him.

"Well it would be rude of me to turn down such a beautiful woman." I smiled and he kissed me. Hoisting me up without breaking our kiss, he walked to my bedroom and laid me down on the sheets before following me. He kissed me tenderly, lovingly. 'I love you' were the last words I remembered hearing, before my thoughts were scattered in the scorching heat of our love making.