Chapter Ten:
Finally
Home.
In that one moment, time halted itself. The earth stopped quickly, not making a single rumble of protest, as if it was in shock. Everything seemed to stand at a dead halt, as a lingering feeling started to waver into the air.
Beast Boy had his eyes shut, and his body trembled as tears continued to flow from his shut eyes despite his efforts. The sticky feel of human fluid sipped through his gloves, following his vein lines in a red stream. He heard strangled choking, and slowly opened his eyes. But his heart only broke even more. Terra stood there in front of him, no- leaning on him. Against his fist that had its claws stuck inside her stomach. Her mouth was open and gagging quietly, and her eyes began to lose their cover and converted to that dark blue. He felt Terra's presence come back to the surface, they had done it. Something hit him and Beast Boy quickly retracted his claws, guilt hitting him again when Terra cringed.
He knelt down slowly, cradling the blonde softly. "Terra?"
He watched her grin, and felt a morbid relief wipe over him. "Yeah... B. W'zup?" She joked weakly with a croaky voice. Beast Boy wasn't stupid, and his animal instincts told him what he already knew. He tried to grasp this reality, but it hurt to touch, it hurt to even try to hold onto. But he knew, Terra was free, but she was also condemned to a short-coming fate. As blood started to trinkle down from the corner of her mouth, he felt himself shake with an un-named pain.
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Terra breathed freely within herself, feeling as if a choke hold had been undone. As if that inner grasp on her had been lifted as relief washed over her. Control filled her once more, as Tara's voice died down, and soon left completely. Most of it due to her now fragile state, but Terra's own battle, her own war, was also to help. Her struggles combined with a grasped hope allowed her to rise once more, and reclaim what was rightfully hers. She wasn't naive enough to dismiss a darkening feel however, the presence of death that was shadowing the back of her mind. But she wasn't scared, she was relieved, somehow she felt content and safe.
She felt the blood sip out from the corner of her mouth, and from the intense wound near her neck, but strangely... she didn't feel pain. For once in her life she didn't feel any sort of sting or agony. What was wearing on her body the most however was the gash into her stomach. But again, she didn't feel the pain as she looked up and locked eyes with the boy holding her.
"I wont ask you to forgive me... I know you can't. But Beast Boy... I'm sorry." She whispered, trying to find her voice and grasp onto it long enough to speak properly.
"Don't be." Beast Boy muttered, grinning faintly. She felt his thumb start to brush over the corner of her mouth, wiping some of the blood away.
"Don't argue. I said... sorry, and that's that." Terra joked weakly. Last moments or not, she wasn't going down in some tragic last lines. That just wasn't her. Part of her didn't want to make this worse for Beast Boy then it already was, she didn't want to just leave him to be swallowed up in a hurt depression. Not to compliment herself or anything, last minutes on earth- why not be truthful? But her strength was draining, and Terra wanted to make sure the record was set straight, she wanted to heal what she had hurt. Should she tell him how much she cared? How much she longed to just stay in his arms till the end of the world came? Or would that just make it harder? Terra feared it would only wear on his mind with "What ifs" and days filled with regrets. But at the same time, he had the right to know... didn't he?
Terra figured she would probably be sent down to the lowest level of hell, well... if it was real. No one had ever talked about those... "other places" with her before, she just assumed what she could. After everything she had done, all the lives she stole. Wouldn't it be right to send her to hell? If it was real. But Terra had no doubt Beast Boy wouldn't, he was too sweet and eager to help to. So if this could be her final moment... final chance... she should seize it. Terra hadn't noticed her eyes had shut until she opened them again to see that adorable green face still watching her.
"Beast Boy." She muttered, letting herself become lost with him once more.
"W'az up?" He reapted her joke. She heard the crack in his tone, and the struggle to keep himself restrained.
"I love you."
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Those words floated to him like music. His heart jumped up into his throat and made speaking seem impossible. Every part of his body became numb with a heavenly sensation until the scent of blood reminded Beast Boy that this wasn't going to end like he saw in the movies. Curse the stupid directors, talk about misleading.
Yeah, he was trying to lighten it up... but his heart soon hit rock bottom once more, keeping him grounded from wishful thoughts. Beast Boy felt his eyes water up, and a quick sob left him. He couldn't help it. He couldn't control it. Emotion rained down on him as he struggled to keep from shaking, not wanting to disturb Terra's wounds anymore then he had to. The geomancer smiled up at him before curling up and digging herself face into his chest. Her eyes closed softly, but her lips kept that smile on her face.
"Don't leave me." He whispered, resting his face on her head, letting her hair brush his cheeks. She didn't answer, but they held each other there. He didn't know for how long, but every second he held dear and thanked God for. He didn't want her to leave, he didn't want to be left behind like this... because the real healing would have to start. Beast Boy would have to learn to let go somehow, but for this moment... these final moments in time... he would hang on for all he was worth. Right now Terra was his, and even though the past year had somehow brought them closer together, it was now tearing them back apart.
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Terra opened her eyes later, just barely and little by little they fluttered open. She stared at Beast Boy's neck while being kept tightly held. She was waiting for that awful moment when her final judgment would come, when all her past deeds would count for something. But thats when she saw something, it seemed to be far off in her mind, but somehow she was coming closer. A strong and loving voice called for her, telling her a final home was ready for her to come stay in. Terra didn't bother with surprise, instead she smiled, and gathered her strength.
"Beast Boy... it's time. I'm going home." Terra's voice whispered as she looked up. He pulled back and looked back down at her, his face nearly breaking her heart in two. "Don't worry, I'll wait for you." She joked before slowly reaching her hand up and brushing his cheek bone.
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Beast Boy surprised himself, when panic didn't sweep through him and overwhelm him with terrible emotion. Instead, he only gazed down at the blonde geomancer. With some sort of silent agreement, he leaned down towards her face and touched her lips softly. It sent a shock through his whole body, making him tremble as his grip tightened around her gently. It was the one moment he knew in his whole life he would never forget, this was what they had been waiting for... this goodbye gift to each other. Beast Boy was reminded of his feelings at this moment, he was reminded of what he loved about her.
But slowly... she grew colder. Her body became stiffer and all her warmth left her. Her eyes didn't open back up as he pulled away. She laid there in his arms, looking like the angel he had to learn to leave. Beast Boy trembled again as he bit his lip. Trying not to break out, but his efforts where for nothing and he started sobbing. That was that... Terra was gone.
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The funeral was intended to be small, with only a few Titans and some others. But the out-door service became crowded with hero's and people of all ages. Everyone had been surprised by just how many people wanted to pay their last respects.
But Beast Boy stayed up in Terra's old room, drowning in ghost memories he sat on the couch. He gazed out the window, looking over the lake and the far off mountains that Terra was laid to rest in. Where they had first found her, a spot that overlooked the city and landscape. She would have liked that. The orange sun splashed into the lake, spraying a orange color over the water. The CD player sung quietly, and every verse of every song reminded him of what he had lost. Earlier Cyborg had said Terra died of blood loss and stomach acid, apparently it pretty much had eaten her from the inside out. The thought was haunting, and Beast Boy couldn't shake off that he had done that to Terra.
Slade had escaped quietly, but Beast Boy didn't give it a second thought as something wet dripped down his bone line. He ignored it, just like he ignored all the other countless tears he had unwillingly shed over the same thing. The sun seemed to be sinking on his life, leaving him in a dark world, light of joy was a rare thing and he couldn't say he cared. It was a funny sort of feeling actually, when you can no longer feel a part of your heart or soul. He searched for hours, but he couldn't locate the rest of himself no matter how hard he looked. All he found was a empty black hole. Right now he felt what only a handful of people felt. Heartbreak was taken for granted by so many others, heck! These song-writers had no right to sing about it he thought. They probably never felt this empty feeling, this bottomless pain. Beast Boy didn't know how he was supposed to move on... he didn't know how he was supposed to heal. He was too young to know how to pick himself up off the bloodstained ground.
Non of this was fair!! It wasn't fair to what happened to Terra, and it wasn't fair what was happening to him! Terra had been so confused her whole life, she never had a true home or family. Her life was based around just trying to survive in this world, and she had done the best she could. This is what happened to her, and because he tried to help... because he tried to love... this is what happened to him. Why was it all like this? He just didn't understand.
Beast Boy stood up and walked over to the window, softly he opened it and flew outside in a completely random bird form. He wasn't in the mood to be picky. The soft summer wind fluttered through his wings, sending a calming relief through him. But it wasn't enough to cover up his pain, and he flew on. The orange lake glinted below, reflecting up into the sky which was now painted with pinks and purples. The hills shined with an orange tint, as if sending him a beacon of where he was supposed to land.
He got their surprisingly quick, and landed without a single noise. There in front of him, being touched softly by the setting sun was a stone. He swallowed and walked forward, then ran his gloved fingers over the grave markings. His heart reached out, banging across his chest to be let out, demanding to see for itself wither or not Terra would be coming back with him. Beast Boy felt his throat clog as he stared down at the ground as if accusing it. Being so caught up with his own thoughts he failed to realize his friend, until he felt a soft touch on his shoulder and turned his head around halfway.
"Are you okay?" Raven's voice sounded as if she where calling herself stupid for asking it. But her face looked concerned.
Beast Boy shrugged before turning back to look at the tombstone. Trying to figure out just what step he took from here. His mind was a mess, so many thoughts and emotions jumbled together in tight wads. It made even listening to Raven a chore.
"What do I do now?" His voice whispered into the cooling air.
"Move on." She answered simply.
Beast Boy shook his head. "How? How do I move on?" He turned his head around half way to look at his friend.
"Don't hide, and let us help." Beast Boy's lips twitched to a grin when Raven smiled softly. A rare thing, but meaningful. "I'm going back home... are you coming?" She asked.
Beast Boy turned back to the grave, "give me a moment." His voice fell after each word. He listened as Raven flew off behind him and looked over the grave once more. He was ready to give this 'moving on' thing a try. Terra had told him too, his friends told him too... now Beast Boy was telling himself too. But Terra would always have her own special place in his heart, a place no other could touch. No matter what it would belong to her and everything she had gone through. Beast Boy sighed quietly and gave the headstone one last look. Above her original grave marking, read in finally graved words:
Finally Home.
Thats it guys -cries- This was probably the hardest thing for me to write, but at the same time this fic was a big step for me in my writing. I want to thank EVERYBODY for all their support and help. You have all been so great, I cannot put into words how much you have all helped me.
A sequel to this fic is a possible idea of me, I got a few things I might do. But I can't make a promises about it, though I will however have some more fics out ASAP. Some not being Teen Titans. I'm trying to work out a Action/Drama fic about Terra (Of course, DUH! xD) but I'll see how it comes out before I post anything on it.
Again, thanks!
Thanks to all of you, this has become one of my most popular Solo-Fics!
WHOOT!
Rock On, and Rock Hard!
