Chapter Eleven

Oh, you wanted it to hurt? Alright, I guess. One of you lady's better get the hospital on speed dial.

*Jabs finger in Becca's belly button, and then rips out her belly button ring.*

Becca: OH, SWEEEET GOAT HUKIE!

Shel: What the Hell?!

Rebecca: JESUS H. FUCK!

QUICK! Call the hospital!

Alvin: I'm on it!

*He pulls out his phone, and begins dialing a number.*

Alvin: Hello? Oh, Dominoes? Okay, then I'll get some breadsticks, a large Meat Lovers Pizza with extra Sausage and Pepperoni, and-

Everyone: ALVIN!

Alvin: Oh, and a Cookie Pizza, some of those brownies, and two large bottles of Sprite!

Becca: FOR FUCK'S SAKE, ALVIN! CALL THE GODDAMN HOSPITAL!

Alvin: Thank you, bye-bye!

Bill: Ahahahaha! Take that, and that!

*Punches 001 in the face, and then knees him in the crotch.*

Bill: With Clemmy's soul in my possession I have the power of a million scumbags! *Opens another portal.*

Bill: Rise my army, rise! We'll take this world by storm!

*An army of the undead and Anubis warriors march out of the portal, followed by a dozen nightmares, Wraiths and Gremlins.*

Bill: Once I'm done with you 001, no one, not even Mickey Mouse, will be able to stop me from taking over this world!

*Breaks 001's hand.*

Bill: My buddy Slappy taught me to do that!

Alright, that's it, motherfucker! If you want to really beat down on me, then let's do it in a fair fight to the death! You and me, mano a mano!

Bill: How about this: if I win, then all of your stories belong to me. And if I lose, then you get Clementine back. Deal?

Fine!

Bill: Then let's begin!

Wait, what?!
*Bill punches 001 in the face repeatedly, then in the stomach, then the chest, then the dick, and-oh, you get the idea, don't you? Anyway, to sum it up, Bill kicks the crap out of 001.*

Bill: You've lost, 001. And this story, and all of your other stories, are mine!

*Bill prepares to tear out 001's heart, but 001 grabs Bill's hand, and breaks it. Bill screams.*

I learned that from Clementine! And your ass is grass, Cipher.

*001 proceeds to beat the holy bejeezus out of Bill, a la Spider-Man in the first Spider-Man movie.*

Bill: Stop, stop! You win, I give up!

I knew you would. Now, give us back Clementine!

Bill: I can't.

WHAT?!

Bill: I lied. I don't have her soul. I never did.

You useless, lying son of a bitch.

*001 grabs a rifle, cocks it, and aims it at Bill's head.*

Any last words before I splatter your brains all over the wall?

Bill: Well, I-

*001 pulls the trigger.*

Poor choice of last words.

*001 closes the portal, sending the army back to Hell.*

Wow, you update fast! Anyway…

*Grabs one of Goblin's pumpkin bombs, and shoves it down Duck's throat.*

Duck: Oh, God! I think I'm gonna-

*Duck shits his pants.*

Duck: I think there's some metal in my underwear.

Oh, that's fucking nasty!

Duck: Can I change my underwear?

Lee: NO! YOU'RE GONNA WADDLE AROUND IN YOUR SHIT-STAINED UNDERWEAR, AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT!

*At Golden Gate Bridge.*

Goblin: Okay, the runt goes first since he can't die yet.

*Puts a noose on Duck and throws him off of the bridge.*

Duck: Ack, ack! I'm sorry! I'm sor- ACK!

Lee: And now for the lying father!

*Puts a noose on Kenny's neck.*

Kenny: Now Lee, let's talk about this! If you kill me, I can't come back! You'll never see my powerful beard again!

Goblin: Oh, really?

*Pulls off his mask, revealing that his mustache is a million times better than Kenny's beard.*

*Kenny jumps off the bridge and hangs himself.*

*Goblin puts mask back on.*

Goblin: Well, that was fun! Who's up for Chinese?

Lee: I am!

I understood that reference! And I'll take some beef and noodles! I'm starving!

Joker: And I said it first!

Get outta here, Joker! We might need you later, but not now!

Joker: Alright, already!

Duck: Could I-ACK-get some-ACK- foo young?

Lee: Hmm, let me think about it… NO.

Duck: ACK-YOU!

Lee's Ex-Wife) First of all, what's your name? I'd rather not have to address you as 'Lee's Ex-Wife' all the time.

Andra: My name is Andra. And I don't want to be further associated with that murderer!

Didn't he become a murderer only because you cheated on him?

Andra: Well… yes, but…

Lady, you aren't one to talk, so save it.

Author's Note: For those of you who will miss Bill, sorry to say it, but that son of a bitch had to die. Also, happy Father's Day! To all of my readers, I hope that, if you have the time or the opportunity, you wish your Dad a happy Father's Day! Anyway, thank you all for reading, leave a review, and, as always, take care, and I'll see you next time!