Chapter Eleven
Oh, you wanted it to hurt? Alright, I guess. One of you lady's better get the hospital on speed dial.
*Jabs finger in Becca's belly button, and then rips out her belly button ring.*
Becca: OH, SWEEEET GOAT HUKIE!
Shel: What the Hell?!
Rebecca: JESUS H. FUCK!
QUICK! Call the hospital!
Alvin: I'm on it!
*He pulls out his phone, and begins dialing a number.*
Alvin: Hello? Oh, Dominoes? Okay, then I'll get some breadsticks, a large Meat Lovers Pizza with extra Sausage and Pepperoni, and-
Everyone: ALVIN!
Alvin: Oh, and a Cookie Pizza, some of those brownies, and two large bottles of Sprite!
Becca: FOR FUCK'S SAKE, ALVIN! CALL THE GODDAMN HOSPITAL!
Alvin: Thank you, bye-bye!
Bill: Ahahahaha! Take that, and that!
*Punches 001 in the face, and then knees him in the crotch.*
Bill: With Clemmy's soul in my possession I have the power of a million scumbags! *Opens another portal.*
Bill: Rise my army, rise! We'll take this world by storm!
*An army of the undead and Anubis warriors march out of the portal, followed by a dozen nightmares, Wraiths and Gremlins.*
Bill: Once I'm done with you 001, no one, not even Mickey Mouse, will be able to stop me from taking over this world!
*Breaks 001's hand.*
Bill: My buddy Slappy taught me to do that!
Alright, that's it, motherfucker! If you want to really beat down on me, then let's do it in a fair fight to the death! You and me, mano a mano!
Bill: How about this: if I win, then all of your stories belong to me. And if I lose, then you get Clementine back. Deal?
Fine!
Bill: Then let's begin!
Wait, what?!
*Bill punches 001 in the face repeatedly, then in the stomach, then the chest, then the dick, and-oh, you get the idea, don't you? Anyway, to sum it up, Bill kicks the crap out of 001.*
Bill: You've lost, 001. And this story, and all of your other stories, are mine!
*Bill prepares to tear out 001's heart, but 001 grabs Bill's hand, and breaks it. Bill screams.*
I learned that from Clementine! And your ass is grass, Cipher.
*001 proceeds to beat the holy bejeezus out of Bill, a la Spider-Man in the first Spider-Man movie.*
Bill: Stop, stop! You win, I give up!
I knew you would. Now, give us back Clementine!
Bill: I can't.
WHAT?!
Bill: I lied. I don't have her soul. I never did.
You useless, lying son of a bitch.
*001 grabs a rifle, cocks it, and aims it at Bill's head.*
Any last words before I splatter your brains all over the wall?
Bill: Well, I-
*001 pulls the trigger.*
Poor choice of last words.
*001 closes the portal, sending the army back to Hell.*
Wow, you update fast! Anyway…
*Grabs one of Goblin's pumpkin bombs, and shoves it down Duck's throat.*
Duck: Oh, God! I think I'm gonna-
*Duck shits his pants.*
Duck: I think there's some metal in my underwear.
Oh, that's fucking nasty!
Duck: Can I change my underwear?
Lee: NO! YOU'RE GONNA WADDLE AROUND IN YOUR SHIT-STAINED UNDERWEAR, AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT!
*At Golden Gate Bridge.*
Goblin: Okay, the runt goes first since he can't die yet.
*Puts a noose on Duck and throws him off of the bridge.*
Duck: Ack, ack! I'm sorry! I'm sor- ACK!
Lee: And now for the lying father!
*Puts a noose on Kenny's neck.*
Kenny: Now Lee, let's talk about this! If you kill me, I can't come back! You'll never see my powerful beard again!
Goblin: Oh, really?
*Pulls off his mask, revealing that his mustache is a million times better than Kenny's beard.*
*Kenny jumps off the bridge and hangs himself.*
*Goblin puts mask back on.*
Goblin: Well, that was fun! Who's up for Chinese?
Lee: I am!
I understood that reference! And I'll take some beef and noodles! I'm starving!
Joker: And I said it first!
Get outta here, Joker! We might need you later, but not now!
Joker: Alright, already!
Duck: Could I-ACK-get some-ACK- foo young?
Lee: Hmm, let me think about it… NO.
Duck: ACK-YOU!
Lee's Ex-Wife) First of all, what's your name? I'd rather not have to address you as 'Lee's Ex-Wife' all the time.
Andra: My name is Andra. And I don't want to be further associated with that murderer!
Didn't he become a murderer only because you cheated on him?
Andra: Well… yes, but…
Lady, you aren't one to talk, so save it.
Author's Note: For those of you who will miss Bill, sorry to say it, but that son of a bitch had to die. Also, happy Father's Day! To all of my readers, I hope that, if you have the time or the opportunity, you wish your Dad a happy Father's Day! Anyway, thank you all for reading, leave a review, and, as always, take care, and I'll see you next time!
