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Falling Effortlessly

Chapter 11- A disastrous dinner

BPOV

I took a deep breath; casually strolled in the living room and took a seat next to Alice on the sofa. Her and Rosalie were having a discussion about our up-coming trip to the club in Port Angeles. They were talking about dresses and shoes so I automatically tuned them out. I had bigger things to worry about. Like; what the hell was I thinking kissing Edward? And how the hell I'm going to hide it from every one?

Alice, just noticing me, turned and gaze at me suspiciously.

Shit, if anybody was capable of finding out; it would be Alice. I swear she has like a six sense about these things.

"Where the hell have you've been? You were gone for twenty minutes," Alice asked.

Twenty minutes. Shit. There's no way I'm getting away with this.

"Umm…bathroom" I replied, shortly.

"Hmm" she said. She gave me a final look then turned back to Rosalie and resumed their conversation. I sighed in relief.

Shit, that was a close one.

I thought I was busted for sure; I was a horrible liar. Renee always called me an opened book. She said, just by taking one look at me you'd immediately see whatever I'm feeling; in this case I was feeling fucking nervous. My palms were literally sweaty and if I bit my lip any harder the shit was going to fall off.

Oh my god. What the hell was wrong with me? I can't believe I kissed him. I mean, I never intended for it to happen. It just happened. I've never been that reckless, impulsive and lust-driven in my life

But I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy every minute of it.

All I know is when that Tanya bitch sauntered in here, bragging about how great her relationship is with Edward; something in me snapped. I was insane with jealously and irrational hate. I hated her beauty, I hated her confidence and most of all; I hated her because she reminded me of Lauren. She was a stuck-up slut just like Lauren and I hated her. Alice wasn't too fond of her either. She told me she met her once at a party and she was acting like a drunken slut the whole time; which didn't surprise me. What surprised me is that Edward was dating her. I couldn't believe it. He's an intelligent decent guy. Why the hell would he date trash like Tanya?

Was he that shallow?

When he came downstairs after our almost- kiss Tanya approached him from behind. I almost laughed out loud at how pissed he look when he turned around. It was apparent that all wasn't well in paradise. The look in Edward's eyes said it all. He did not want her there. I subtly observed them with interest. He was a couple of inches taller than her and they were both insanely beautiful. Her strawberry blond hair flowed down her back like a sea of shimmering soft curls; while his equally beautiful bronze locks was style in that perfect disarray that always drove me mad. What I realized although I hated to admit it was that they actually looked… good together. They complemented each other perfectly; like a celebrity couple or something.

She ran her fingers down his chest, causing me to burn with jealousy. She didn't deserve to touch him; she was a dirty whore.

And I wondered if he knew?

He probably did because the girl had slut written all over her. From her low neck belly shirt to her low rise jeans that showed a peep of her pink g-string. He seemed oblivious of her actions, which I found kind of strange. I mean she was a gorgeous woman. Why wasn't he gawking at her? He gazed at me briefly which caused me to blush in embarrassment and quickly look down. When I looked back up I internally cheered when I noticed her hands were off him. Then Esme suddenly dropped some glass, which must have pissed Edward off even more because he shouted at Tanya and pulled her out of the room; but not before Alice shouted 'Way to go Eddie. Don't do anything I wouldn't do'. Which cause my jealously to flare up again.

Did she really approve of them as a couple?

After that, I abruptly stood up and helped Esme clean up the glass. She thanked me and murmured something about indecent young ladies with dirty mouths. Although, young lady wouldn't be the term I'd use for Tanya. I think young skank would be more fitting. When we finished picking up the glass she placed it in a bag and asked me to give it to Edward, so he can take it to the basement. I told her I didn't want to interrupt his time with his girlfriend. She solemnly gazed at me and whispered 'Please save him Bella'. I was taken aback by her request and something told me that she was not only talking about Tanya. When I left the living room, I found Edward and Tanya in the foyer having a heated discussion. I blushed and averted my eyes when I noticed her blatantly staring at his crotch. It didn't look like he needed to be saved. It looked like I was interrupting. The evil glare she gave me confirmed my thoughts, I wasn't wanted there. I was ready to give him the bag and get the hell out of dodge until he surprised me and asked me to join him. That must have really pissed Tanya off because she started making sarcasticremarks about me being an unwed single parent. This sent my ego down into a fiery pit. I knew who I was but hearing it out loud from another person's perspective made me feel like even more of a loser. I was standing there looking down on Tanya because of her promiscuity when I'm the one with two children, living with my dad and working in a clothing store. No offense to Alice; I love working with her but let's face it that job was better suited for the young and child-less. I had two children to support and I really didn't want to lean on Charlie for any extra money.

Tanya was a young coed with her whole life ahead of her. She didn't have to worry about those things. Who was I to judge her and think she's not right for Edward - when in reality I wasn't right for him. A woman like me would only bring him down and ruin his life.

I was ready to bolt out of there with my tail between my legs until she said something about prostituting. And that's when the cord broke and I really fucking snapped; because you can say anything about me but insinuating that I should prostitute to support my children, that's where I drew the line. I started hysterically laughing at the bitch; because she was a fucking joke. How dare she say that shit to me when she's the one who probably fucked half of Seattle. I laughed so hard my eyes closed and watered. When I opened my eyes, I didn't see Tanya anymore…I saw Lauren. I saw the bitch that was my co- worker for three years, the bitch that I caught in my bed on more than one occasion and the bitch whose child will share the same father as my boys. I had so much pent up anger and frustration inside me that I thought I would burst; so I slowly let it unravel but not too much because that would have resulted in Tanya, unconscious due severe head trauma and I didn't think Dr. Cullen and Esme would of been too happy - not to mention Charlie.

After I handed that bitch her ass I sauntered downstairs to the basement feeling like a huge weight was lifted off my chest, I felt great. But once I got down there, what I actually did began to sink in. I insulted Edward's girlfriend. Although, they obviously had problems; that still didn't give me the right to talk to her like that in front of him. I felt horrible. When he entered the basement I immediately apologized to him but he brushed it off by telling me she deserved it and that she was not his girlfriend. My heart fluttered at that news. But then he shocked me by telling me that he actually enjoyed me lashing out on Tanya - I mean he really enjoyed it. The proof was standing proudly in his pants.

And I've never been so turned on in my life.

I mean, the look in his eyes when he said he thought it was 'the hottest thing ever' was my undoing. My heart rate and breathing increased from a mixture of lust and anxiety. He was so goddamn sexy and irresistible.

My eyes flickered to lips and that's when I knew what I wanted to do; what I had to do.

I was tired of fighting it.

So when he approached me again. I didn't think. I just grabbed him by the collar and kissed him with everything I had. And god what a kiss it was. My whole body tingled as his lips moved with mine. I never felt anything like it. I let the overwhelming feeling take over my body with only one word running through my mind…

More

I wanted more of him. I needed more. But, having more of him would not be good for him.

I wasn't good for him

The rational side of my brain said I had to stop. But my over heated body said hell no.

And who do you think won that battle?

My body, of course.

Plus, Edward was making it so difficult with his scent, his mouth and his sexy words. So as selfish as it was I decided to continue whatever It was I had with Edward under the agreement that no can find out; because if the Cullen's find out they'll hate me for sure. I mean, who wants their over-achieving son with a woman who will only ruin him.

No one.

So here I sit, a nervous wreak wondering… What the hell have I gotten myself into?

"…right Bella?" Alice asked pulling me out of my musings.

Oh, shit. When the hell did they included me in their conversation?

Alice and Rosalie stared at me expectantly; waiting for my response.

"Um…yeah," I said, completely clueless.

Alice gaped at me incredulously and Rosalie clapped her hands.

"Excellent, I'll have him call you tomorrow. This is so great!" Rosalie squealed

Him? Oh god, what the hell did I just agree to?

"Rosalie, who's going to call me tomorrow," I asked, nervously

"Alec" Rosalie said "…and don't worry Bella, he'll be a perfect gentleman but if he's not I'll kick him in the fucking balls"

I gaped at her. What. The. Hell?

Alice squealed "You are going to look so hot Friday, Bella. I have the perfect dress for you,"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who the hell is Alec?" I asked

"Alec is the guy Rosalie just set you up with. Were you listening to a thing we said?" Alice replied.

She was setting me up with a guy? And I agreed to it like a dumb ass?

Oh no, no, no

Just as I was about to respond with a hell no; Edward suddenly appeared in the doorway. His hair was wet and he was clad in a plain white tee, blue jeans and his feet were bare .I was thankful that Alice and Rosalie diverted their attention from me because I couldn't seem to take my eyes away from him. He looked absolutely delicious and his intoxicating scent assaulted my senses. His eyes bore into mine and he smirked. My cheeks reddened and I bit my lip to hide the smile on face. Just looking at that smirk made my think about how warm and soft his lips felt on mine; and I longed to feel them again.

He ran his fingers through his sexy hair and I briefly fantasized about doing that myself. Then my smile suddenly turned into a frown when I spotted Tanya behind him.

She placed her hand on his arm possessively and he tensed. He immediately snatched her hand off of him and glared at her.

"Tanya, do not touch me," he seethed. Alice and Rosalie, just noticing their presence, looked toward them with interest.

"Did you two have fun upstairs? You were gone an awfully long time" Alice said, wagging her eye brows.

"Alice" Edward growled in warning.

"Don't worry Eddie. You're secret is safe with us" Rose chortled

What! They were upstairs together?

I suddenly felt a sharp sting in my chest. Like a knife digging a hole in my heart what was that? The feeling was so intense that I just wanted to get the hell out of here, climb in my bed and cry my eyes out. It was annoying and I couldn't seem to shake it. I remember feeling the same way every time I caught Lauran in my bed, every time I received a phone call from one of Jake's many women and when I found out Lauran was pregnant.

I was hurt.

Edward gazed at me. His eyes bore into mine; silently pleading. But his pleading was futile because he was upstairs for a while and when he came back downstairs his hair was wet and he was dressed in different clothing; and to top it off Tanya was right behind him. I shrugged my shoulders and gave him what I thought was a reassuring smile. He didn't owe my anything. We weren't anything. We just made out for a couple of minutes and got a little caught up; that's all. And I'm the one who attacked him. I kissed him first.

But he said he didn't want anything to do with her?

Yeah…but maybe they had some strange kind of love/hate relationship.

But why did he kiss me back when he had someone like Tanya?

Now, that fucking baffled me. Why did he kiss me back?

Maybe he just… he just…

Used me

Oh god he used me… used me like he did those other women. I couldn't be mad at anyone but myself. This was all my fault. Alice warned me; she told me how he was with women and I didn't listen to her. I listened to my own lust-driven body like some floozy. Like Tanya

I felt the familiar prickling sensation in my eyes; preparing me for the imminent tears.

Shit, I had to get the hell out of here.

Just then Seth and Collin came barreling into the room. I immediately smiled at them. My boys They ran into my arms and jumped on my lap. I tickled their tummies which cause them to burst with giggles; and just like that my previous melancholic mood was lifted. My boys always lifted my spirits; because when their happy I'm happy.

"Mommy…Mommy…stop it please" Collin said between giggles, squirming in my arms.

"Please… Mommy," Seth giggled "My… tummy…hurts,"

I laughed wholeheartedly "Alright, but Tommy the tickling troll will be back"

"No!" they both shouted in unison "Not Tommy, tickle troll!"

They leaped off my lap and ran. I ignored everyone else in the room; only focusing my two life lines, my boys. I chased them, clawing my hands; growling. They loved when I played Tommy the tickling troll with them. It's something I've been doing with them since they were babies. Jake always hated it. He said it was stupid and annoying; so I started only doing it whenever he wasn't home. It was our thing; me and my boys. And they love it so I loved doing it.

They ran to the doorway and hid behind Edward's legs. Shit

"Save us Edwood. Save us" Collin giggled, grabbing Edward's leg

I made the mistake of looking at him, only to find him staring at me intensely with that same pleading look. I quickly averted my eyes and turned my attention back to my boys. I would not let him get to me.

"C'mon boys. Let's wash up for dinner" I said as I grabbed them. I walked passed Tanya, who was still standing next to Edward with a satisfied smirk on her face, and headed to the bathroom.

I entered the bathroom and quickly washed the boys hand's and mine. I splashed some cold water on my face and gave myself a brief pep talk. Alright, you could do this Bella just get through this meal without the tears and self loathing. Do not under any circumstances look at Edward; and please, please, please ignore anything that whore has to say. I looked at myself in the mirrorand frowned. My hair was a mess. I dug into my pocket and pulled out my hair tie. I pulled my hair up into a pony tail and we walked out the bathroom. When we walked in the hall, Esme was there. She said that everyone was in the dining room. So the boys and I followed her in. When we entered the dining room, Esme went into the Kitchen and the boy and I took our seats next to Alice and across from…Edward and Tanya. Alright calm down, Bella. Just don't look at them.

Everyone was engrossed in conversation as I sat there absentmindedly twirling my fingers around my hair. I felt awkward and exposed; especially with Edward staring at me from across the table.

Oh Please Esme, hurry up with the food so I could get the hell out of here.

"So Bella, are you still freaked out about the whole Alec thing?" Alice said, looking apologetic "because if you are…I'm sorry I pushed"

Shit, Alec. Guy your two meddling friends set you up with.

"Um…"

How the hell do I respond to that? Normally I would say 'yes you freaked me the fuck out and I'm not interested' but something was telling me not to. Something inside was telling me to go out with this guy, try to have a good time and forget about Edward.

YES! Forget about Edward

And suddenly I had an epiphany.

I need to get over Edward

I looked at Alice and smiled "No, I'm not freaked out. I'm…ecstatic. Tell him to call me so we could set something up. I'd love to meet him"

Alice smiled happily at me and I heard the distinct sound of a utensil being dropped on a dish across from me. I instinctively turned toward the sound and was met with a pair piercing emerald's staring at me looking…hurt. I immediately looked away.

Well welcome to the club. You hurt me too

"Wow, this is so great. Alec and Demetri are actually coming to the club with us" Alice said

"Demetri?" I asked, grinning at Alice

I guess she got over her so-call love affair with cyber man

"Demetri is actually my guy" Rosalie said "well…at the moment he is"

"Why doesn't that surprise me" Edward muttered.

Rosalie glared at him and he ran his fingers though his hair and muttered 'fuck'. He obviously didn't intend for anyone to hear him.

"Says the womanizing man-whore. No disrespect cousin" Rosalie snapped

Tanya smiled and looked adoringly at Edward "Non- taken. Me and Eddie have a very open relationship. I don't worry about all those other bitches. He always comes back to me"

She stared at me intently and I had no doubt those words were directed at me.

Edward's face turn two shades of red "Will you cut the bullshit Tanya? We are not in a relationship. We are not together!"

"Edward, Language! There are children present" Esme scolded as she entered the kitchen, carrying a large platter.

"I apologize, Mom" then he gazed at me "I apologize Bella"

His eyes bore into mine, like he was silently trying to tell me something. I half smiled and quickly looked away.

Esme went back into the kitchen to get the rest of the meal. Carlisle suddenly entered the dining room, clad in a pair of slacks and a grey button shirt. He looked at the addition guest and smiled. I watched Edward's expression immediately turn into a scowl at his father's arrival.

"It looks like we have two extra faces at our table this evening" he smiled, an attractive Edward-like crooked smile.

Now I know who Edward get's his smile from.

Rosalie and Tanya swooned at his charm and Alice rolled her eyes. I sat there nervously, hoping like hell he doesn't bring up anything about my panic attack while Tanya and Rosalie were present. I didn't need two more people thinking that I was crazy.

"Good evening doctor Cullen" Rosalie smiled, flirtatiously.

Carlisle took his seat at the head of the table while Rosalie and Tanya watched his every move.

Oh my god. Could they be anymore obvious? And where's Esme? I don't think she'd be too pleased with two women drooling over her husband.

"Now Rosalie, I've told you countless time to address me as Mr. Cullen or Carlisle. Whatever works for you" he winked

Oh, my god. He's totally flirting with her.

Rosalie giggled like a school girl causing to Carlisle chuckled. Alice squinted her eyes at them and made a gagging sound.

Was this something they normally did?

"Hello Mr. - Dr. Cullen. I'm Tanya Denali, Edward's girl" Tanya smiled

Mr. / Dr? What a fucking airhead.

Then I heard the distinct sound of silver ware dropping on a plate again. I glanced at Edward and see him staring daggers at Tanya.

"You are not my fucking girl," he growled

The whole table went silent. Tanya's eyes began to water and she ducked her head, sniffling.

Oh, pu-leeze. I had seen better acting from a chimp. Rosalie and Alice even rolled their eyes at her dramatics.

Carlisle's ice blue eyes glared at Edward. "Edward, that was inexcusable. I thought I taught you better than that. Now you will apologize to Ms. Denali," he scolded

Edward abruptly stood, causing the chair to fall behind him. He glared at Carlisle and I audibly gulped when I saw the look in his eyes. I knew shit was about to hit the fan.

"Taught me better than that? The only thing you taught me is how to be a cold heartless asshole" he seethed.

Carlisle stood up "Edward, I will not allow you to disrespect me in my house. Now apologize to me and Ms. Denali or get the hell out you ungrateful bastard!"

Edward flinched at his words, as if someone struck him. The look in his eyes changed from one of pure rage to one of pain. His expression broke my heart. He looked like a little boy whose just been told that his father hated him.

What the hell is going on?

I looked to my sons and they too share my look of confusion; every one else looked at Edward with nothing but pure sympathy. Even Alice looked like she wanted to shed a tear for her brother.

Esme ran out the kitchen holding a spatula, looking frazzled with blood red eyes.

"Edward"

He held up his hand, immediately halting her movements.

"I'm fucking out of here" he turned and walked out of the dining room.

"No, Edward" Esme said following behind him, leaving the dining room. But we still heard their conversation clearly

"No, mom. Go back and have dinner with your family and friends. I'm the one that doesn't belong.

"But you're my son. Of course you belong, darling," she sobbed

"But I'm not his. And he made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want me here. So…I'm driving back to Seattle tonight"

"Will you be coming back?" she asked, desperately

There was a long pause as she waited for his answer. I found myself biting my nails as I waited, thinking.

What if I never see him again?

I tried to ignore the jolt of pain I felt as I thought about not seeing Edward again; but it was impossible. Something deep inside me secretly longed for Edward's smiles, his laugh, and his voice. I had to see him again. This couldn't be the last time.

"Uh…I don't know mom…I'll call you" he replied.

"Good-bye, darling" Esme said. Then we heard the distinct sound of the front door opening and slamming close.

He was gone.

Esme's sobs filled the room. Carlisle excused his self and walked out to tend to his wife, while the rest of us sat there in an awkward silence. Collin tugged on my shirt and I gazed at him.

"Mommy is Edwood coming back?" he asked

"I don't know, honey. I don't know"

XXX

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