Chapter 11 – Let Myself Fall

Meredith banged her empty shot glass on the counter.

"Joe?" she called, her words slurred.

Joe came by and stood on the other side of the counter. He shook his head. "Sorry Meredith, but I think you've had enough."

Meredith stared at him in disbelief, as she felt someone slide onto the stool next to her.

"How many has she had, Joe?"

Meredith didn't hear him reply, but his answer made Alex curse. She lifted her head and looked at him.

"What are you doing here?"

Alex shrugged. "I went back to your house and told them you were going to Joe's, and Izzie wanted me to come bring you home." He looked at the empty shot glasses on the counter in front of her and shook his head. "Grey, a week ago you were hospitalized for dehydration. What the hell are you doing?"

Meredith laid her head on the counter, closing her eyes. "I'm escaping, Alex," she mumbled. "Escaping into a world where problems don't exist."

"Yeah, well, any more of an escape and you'll find yourself back in the hospital again."

Her head still on the counter, she raised her hand and pointed a finger accusingly at Joe. "Well, he said I can't have any more, so it doesn't really matter, does it?"

Alex paused in consternation. "This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain neurosurgeon who you've been avoiding all week, would it?"

Meredith barely lifted her head from the counter. "Shut up, Alex. I told you I'm escaping into a world without problems. That means Derek Shepherd doesn't exist."

Joe walked over to Alex's side of the counter, lowering his voice so Meredith wouldn't hear. "And conveniently for her,
forgetting he exists should be easy, considering he's right there." Alex turned around and finally noticed Derek sitting at one of the tables, staring at Meredith.

Glaring at him with barely contained hostility, he asked Joe, "What's he doing here?"

"From the two sentences he's said during the various times I went over there, I'd guess that he's trying to work up the courage to come talk to Meredith."

Alex let out a short laugh. "He's been following her around at work trying to get her alone, and now that she's alone he's too nervous to come talk to her?" They both looked at Derek with vaguely pitying expressions.

Meredith, noting their distraction, lifted her head off the counter. "What are you guys staring at?"

They both whipped their heads around from where Derek was sitting and stared at her with alarmed expressions. "Nothing!" But it was too late. Meredith followed where their gazes had been and spotted Derek. Her eyes narrowed.

"What's he doing here?"

"I don't know. What do you think he's doing here, Meredith?"

It was a rhetorical question and they both knew it. Meredith groaned and laid her head back on the counter. "He's intruding into my escape world. Alex," she implored, "Make him go away."

"Actually, maybe we should just leave."

That got Meredith's attention. "I'm not going to leave because he's here!" She scowled. "Let him leave. He's not going to chase me away."

Alex sighed. "Well, how do you plan to avoid him all night? Eventually he will come over here."

She smiled brightly at him. "He won't come over if you're here." She paused to think. "Well, maybe he will, but he can't talk to me if you're here."

"Grey, I am not going to stay here all night."

She frowned at him. "We're not going to stay all night, Alex. Just until he leaves, 'cause I'm not letting him think he chased me away." She laid her head back on the counter. "Have whatever you want. I'm paying."

"As much as I appreciate the generous offer, Grey," Alex said dryly, "We really should get out of her before Shepherd comes over. I though you didn't want to talk to him."

"He is not going to make me leave. Let him leave!" Meredith's voice got louder, and Alex glanced over his shoulder to see Derek coming toward them. Great.

He stopped by Meredith's side, barely glancing at Alex. "Or we could leave together."

Meredith tilted her head slightly to stare at him. "Why are you here?" she asked indignantly. "You're ruining my escape."

Derek turned to Alex. "She can't drive home."

"Well, thank you for that brilliant piece of advice, Dr. Shepherd," Alex said sarcastically. "Because, after all the alcohol she's consumed, I was definitely planning to let her drive. Meredith, let's go", he said, placing his hand on her arm to help her off the stool.

Meredith shook her head and placed it back on the counter, seeking to block out Derek from view. "I don't want to go home."

When Alex would have started to argue, Derek stepped between the two of them. "I'll stay here with her. And I can bring here home later."

Alex was shaking his head before Derek had even finished speaking. "Dude, she would kill me once she realized. So would Izzie. And Cristina. And Bailey. No. No way."

"Well, what are you going to do? Stay here all night?" Derek asked. "If no one showed up, I was going to take her home
anyway. She can't drive. Just go back to the house and say she already left."

"And where's she gone that she's still not home?"

"I'll take her back to my trailer. In the morning we can talk."

Alex cocked his head to the side. "And why should I let you do this? Meredith doesn't want to talk to you."

Derek thought frantically. "The next month, any of my surgeries you want in on." Alex started to shake his head. "Any of Dr. Sloan's surgeries you want in on."

"Sorry. You know, it's weird. I want to say yes, but Meredith is still, well, Meredith. I wouldn't do that to her."

"Look at her!" Derek said. Meredith's head was on the counter, her eyes focusing on a poster on the wall. She heard the vague murmuring of their voices, but couldn't make anything out. Blood pounded in her ears and she felt like she was going to be sick. She attempted to get up from the stool and stumbled. Derek caught her before she hit the floor. "If you care about her, you know she's not happy now. Do you think she's happy?"

"Well…"

Derek dug into his jeans pocket and pulled out a handful of bills, tossing them onto the counter. "I'll take her back to my
place. Tell the others whatever you want. I don't care. I have to talk to her." He paused, holding his breath. Alex nodded slowly, but the look on his face wasn't the most encouraging. Derek quickly pulled a now sleeping Meredith to him and walked out of the bar, carefully avoiding knocking her head on the doorframe.

For a few minutes, Alex could only stand there, stunned at what he had just agreed to. Than he grinned suddenly and sat down at the counter. "Ah, who am I to interfere with true love, right, Joe?" As the bartender nodded, Alex glanced at the clock. Almost midnight. "I'll have a beer on Shepherd's tab. We can toast to the happy couple." As Joe poured the beers, Alex willed Shepherd not to screw this up. This is it, man. No more chances after this.

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Meredith woke up slowly the next morning, and was instantly aware that she wasn't where she was supposed to be. She rolled
over on the bed, and met a pair of smiling dark blue eyes.

"Good morning."

Meredith stifled a scream as her head pounded. Bile rose in her throat, and she quickly pushed herself over Derek and into the
bathroom, where she emptied the entire contents of her stomach, consisting of two bar nuts and five shots of tequila. She
pushed her hair back with her hand and turned to face Derek, who had risen from the bed and was leaning against the
doorframe of the bathroom.

"What am I doing here?" Derek was quiet. At Derek's silence, Meredith felt her frustration rise. "How did I get here?"

"You don't remember?"

At Derek's question, Meredith tried to remember the night before.

"Sorry, Meredith, but I think you've had enough."

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm escaping."

"I'll take her back to my trailer."

"Last night…" She looked at him accusingly. "Was Alex there last night?"

Derek paused, debating whether or not to tell her. She would be angry. "He was there."

"Then why didn't he take me home?"

Derek shifted from one foot to the other. "He wanted to, but I convinced him to let you come back with me. So we could
talk."

"We have nothing to talk about," she informed him loftily. "And I don't know why Alex would do that. Next time I see him…"
she trailed off, muttering to herself.

"We have nothing to talk about?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes," she said, looking straight at him. His steady gaze made her uncomfortable, and she pushed back her hair nervously, and
asked, "Well, what is there to talk about?"

"For starters, the fact that you were pregnant and you didn't tell me!"

"Why should I have told you?"

"I think I had the right to know that you were pregnant!" Suddenly unsure, Derek asked, "Didn't I?" As Meredith stared at the
floor, his anger grew. "Wasn't it mine? Do you even know?"

Meredith's eyes flashed as they met his. "Of course I know! Thank you for saying that, Derek, because now I remember what
you think of me."

Derek hastily backed down. "I didn't mean that. I was just… Can you just tell me?"

Meredith's voice was low as she began to speak. "It was yours. It couldn't have been… I mean, I never… Finn and I never…"

Derek was stunned. "I thought…"

"I know what you thought."

They stood in silence for a few minutes, until Meredith broke it. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Meredith's voice was weary as she struggled to explain. "I hadn't known for that long… I hadn't decided anything." She
glanced towards the door. "If that's all you wanted to talk about, I have to get to work. I'm guessing my car's not here?"

Derek struggled to control himself. Meredith had the ability to infuriate him like no other. "That's not all, and we're not done."

Meredith closed her eyes to hold back her tears. She tipped her head back, than brought it down to meet Derek's eyes. It was
too painful to be around him. "What do you want from me, Derek?"

He stepped closer and brought his hand out to touch her face. "I just want you."

Meredith pulled away. "No, you don't. You had me. You had me a year ago and you walked away. You don't get to just
change your mind."

Derek looked at her, his face solemn. "I want to make that up to you. Meredith. Pick me, choose me, love me."

Meredith stepped even farther back. "I can't… I can't!"

"You can. You just don't want to."

Meredith felt like screaming. Didn't he realize how hard this was for her? "Maybe I don't. I don't want to try to trust you
again. I did that before, and look at what happened."

Derek felt as if she'd slapped him, but he wasn't about to give up. "Let me make it up to you. Go out with me Friday night."

Meredith glanced frantically towards the door. "I want to leave."

"And I want an answer. Tell me! Friday night, yes or no?"

Meredith hesitated. She studied his face cautiously, seeming torn. "I…" Just then, the ringing of her cell phone startled them
both.

As usual, reviews always appreciated, and thank you to everyone who reviewed Chapter 10! So I'm at school with my Mac, and I can definitely say that this chapter would have been done a lot sooner had I used my home computer (which is a PC.) On the Mac, I can't view my stats or my stories, or upload documents. Therefore, I can't use it to update or view my number of hits, which help motivate me to write faster. If anyone knows how to fix this, please let me know. The Grey's Anatomy season 3 premiere is two weeks from today - Thursday, September 21, at 9PM!