Adelene900: Thank you always for reading and for the comment! And despite the busy schedule at school! Yes, those kind of scenes yet again. Glad they made you cheerful. Thank you for wishing me well. Trying to take care of myself (more sleep, for instance!).
Fractoluminescence: Another line that came by chance. Glad I kept it and it made you laugh. Thank you for reading!
Notes: Another chapter from Aizen's POV.
This was inspired by a story idea from a reader. I'm pretty sure the Original Suggestion was for something a lot less dark and creepy. I'm really sorry. I really don't know how it turned out like this. *Cough*Blame Aizen*Cough*
I feel compelled to state that what these two have isn't exactly an ideal relationship. In fact, if you sense anyone talking or acting like Aizen does around Shinji, it's safe to run the other way until there's a body of ocean between the two of you. (As for Shinji, his one flaw is playing with fire.)
Another unpleasant OC alert.
* Hado is offensive kido.
* Aizen's name (藍染: Aizen) literally translated means 'indigo dye'
Aizen was rinsing his legs when he found a pale lock of hair wound about his thigh.
He was in his captain's bathroom. His captain had insisted that Aizen wash up first, saying that there just wasn't enough room for two grown men in there.
As he stared down at that single strand, he was surprised at how desire surged up anew. It took an effort to refrain from rushing out, dripping and hard, and sink into the other's warmth once more.
He managed to finish up, his swollen heat abated somewhat when he stepped out.
He heard an unintelligible mumble from outside. Then laughter from his captain.
Aizen listened. Hidden from view.
It was well past early morning. Since his own room would be empty, someone would brave the captain's quarters to inquire about the absence of two top officers, especially when one of them was not known to sleep in.
A thin stick of light filtered through a slit between the screens. Aizen saw a slice of his captain's bony shoulder under a flimsy slip of white cloth. A hint of the golden head, long hair wavering as the head bobbed, doling out reassuring words for the presence beyond the door.
And suddenly, it wasn't acceptable that Hirako Shinji was talking to this young staff. With that marked body, with his seed still drying inside it.
Yet there was a part of him that was removed from himself, looking down curiously.
Back when he was at the Academy, his classmate had once stepped on a nail. She'd waved away attempts to help. She was a noble, raised in a household where servants got scolded for a mere scratch upon her. It was the first time she ever saw her own blood, she said, she wants to see. So she studied her impaled foot, motionless lest she disturbed the delicate red ring bubbling up around the protruding metal, fascinated. Everyone had thought her morbid.
Now, he could relate.
So Aizen Sousuke watched Aizen Sousuke, amused and baffled. Observing unnameable emotions spilling out of him like blood.
"'tis really not necessary that both of us go, ya know, waste of -"
"The Academy staff has stated their preference for both captain and lieutenant -"
"Aren't ya busy, Sousuke?"
"I can spare time for this. It's almost as if you don't want me to accompany you -"
"As a matter of fact, I'm a bit tired of everyone accusin' me of workin' ya like a cart mule -"
"Well, it's not as if they're wrong."
Aizen held his captain's glare with a smile.
"Perhaps only I can go, and you stay -"
"No, I promised-"
"Captain, lieutenant,"
The characteristic rough greeting identified the presence of a third party.
"Off to the Academy then, both of you," said Third Seat, essentially finalizing the decision for them.
"I hear the Tenth Division is also coming. Please pass my congratulations to Tsume-kun, captain, on her being promoted to lieutenant."
Captain Hirako narrowed his eyes.
"As if she's gonna take anythin' comin' from ya as congratulations,"
Hirako Shinji turned, vaguely waving a hand as the old officer bowed. Aizen Sousuke stepped up to the old man.
"Newly-appointed Lieutenant Tsume - she used to be a member of the Fifth Division before my time, if I'm not mistaken?"
"Nothing escapes you, lieutenant," Third Seat muttered, mimicking the way Aizen often spoke to their captain. "And may I offer an apology on behalf of my former staff, in advance, for the discourtesy she'll bestow on you, lieutenant."
"And is there a reason for her premeditated discourtesy towards me, Third Seat?"
"One tends not to feel too kindly towards another who has swiped something one coveted so,"
Third Seat looked up, almost talking to himself.
"I'm afraid she's always been a grasping one, and that kind tends to be spiteful."
A ghost of a grin threatened to alight on the old man's wizened mouth.
"Of course, she cannot compare to our previous captain in that regard. Perhaps she cannot compare to you either, lieutenant."
Third Seat lowered his head. Aizen met his gaze with one of his most tranquil expressions.
"You seem be in an uncharacteristically cheerful mood, Third Seat."
"We are allowed some indulgences, are we not? You, of all people, should understand, lieutenant."
At that moment their captain called out - 'Did ya change yer mind 'bout goin'' - and Aizen followed him out, leaving the Third Seat to his sneering anticipation.
"You used to visit her often, even after her transfer."
"What, Tsume-kun?"
Hirako Shinji threw a look over his shoulder and shrugged in a manner of replying 'sure'.
"Not so much these days, but you still check on her via Captain Shiba."
"Are ya actually expectin' a reply, or just summarizin' the current state of things?"
"Was she the reason you wanted to me to stay?"
At that, Hirako Shinji swiveled halfway to face his lieutenant -
"Ooooooi! Ya idiot!"
The exclamation and the foot hit at the same time – although the only victim of the latter was the captain - skidding back quite a distance before falling onto his back.
"Ye're late!"
"No I ain't! Ya crazy monkey! And even if I were..." Hirako Shinji picked himself off the ground, striding towards the smaller figure fuming, "Why am I the only one gettin' a face-full of yer stinkin' foot?!" He jabbed a finger at Aizen, who greeted the fellow officer with his customary cheer. The smaller shinigami folded her arms.
"Obviously, ye're infinitely more kick-a-ble of the two, lazyass,"
"And ya were just watchin', Lisa?! Couldn't ya at least try to stop this itch-heeled midget?"
The figure that came up behind Sarugaki Hiyori adjusted her glasses in a show of wise impassivity.
"Some things are unstoppable: Passage of time, youthful lust, and Hiyori's kicks."
"Hey, hey! Don't lump me in with quotes from yer dirty books!"
Hirako Shinji clutched his head.
"Why do I bother... so, where'd ya drop off yer captains?"
"Captain Kyoraku's ban from the Academy is still in effect, ever since he smuggled sake on his last visit and inebriated half the senior class."
"And Captain Hikifune's tied up with some stupid project that some scatterbrain at the Second Division's dabblin' on. Hey, why did ya come anyway, baldy? Not like ye're needed,"
"Especially when you're just gonna get in the way of all the admirers lined up for Aizen."
"Hey, hey, hey! Fer yer information, I have plenty of admirers - "
"Captain Hirako-!"
A blur of white and blue and red streaked past and tackled the unfortunate captain, knocking him to the ground once more.
"You said you were going to see us first! What are you doing here-"
"Did you bring that book from the Human World?"
"I think I got my shikai!"
"He's lying! I bet he even got his zanpakuto's name wrong!"
Trapped under the gaggle of chattering forms, Hirako Shinji managed to wave a triumphant finger that clearly indicated: 'See? Admirers.' Yadomaru Lisa remained unconvinced.
"My point stands. Aizen has admirers. You have... puppies."
Aizen cocked his head as he observed the onslaught on his captain.
"My impression was that the Academy students found Captain Hirako rather... intimidating."
"Don't mince words, four-eyes. Downright wary, thinks he's a weirdo, and they be right."
"Oh, but they realize he's a pushover after they actually spend time with him. Especially kids. They do seem to take to him."
"'cuz stupid baldy is practically one of 'em."
The captain managed to sit up. Students still hanging off of him like cicadas to a birch tree.
"Yah, nice to see ya all, too. Where did ya ditch Riesei-san?"
The name might as well have been a fistful of umeboshi shoved into each student's mouth. Mood soured, all began to clamor their woes:
"She confiscated the trump cards you gave us!"
"And the magazines!"
"You gotta do something! She won't let us listen to the gramophone you gave. Always nagging..."
"Ah, I nag, do I?"
The students froze. Then slowly detached themselves from the captain, putting a healthy distance from the culprit who'd said the incriminating word.
The now-lone girl still clung to Hirako Shinji, her pigtails trembling. Patting the girl on the head, the captain stood and greeted the imposing woman.
"Riesei-san, as formidable as ever."
"Ah, Captain Hirako. Not a moment goes by where I don't rue the day I allowed you to teach my summer class. It is astounding how you managed to transform my meek, rule-abiding pupils into overexcited wild beasts with a taste for Human World contraband in a mere three months' time."
"The word I'd use is spirited," Hirako Shinji grinned. "Also, I hear these 'wild beasts' are movin' on to Special Class this year?"
"That is so," the instructor grudgingly admitted. "It seems their decline in moral discipline mysteriously coincides with a considerable increase in their skill performances. That does not mean I will tolerate lack of propriety. Class, you will address the officers with proper respect."
At the authoritative command, the students rushed to stand attention - except for the girl who hadn't let go, still doubtful of her safety. Granting the girl mercy for now, the instructor proceeded to introduce the visiting officers: "Lieutenant Sarugaki Hiyori of the Thirteenth Division, Lieutenant Yadomaru Lisa of the Eighth Division, Captain Hirako Shinji of the Fifth Division whom you're already acquainted with, much to my regret, and Lieutenant Aizen Sousuke of the same -"
"Lieutenant Aizen?!"
"You didn't tell us Lieutenant Aizen was coming with you!"
"Well he was right here all this time -"
The students weren't listening. It was as if a sudden light had shone down on the said lieutenant. The youngsters stood up straight, adjusting their uniforms. They looked up at the figure – some coyly, some blushing – and greeted him enthusiastically.
The girl - who'd shouted the last indignant question to the captain - scrambled off and stood in front her protesting friends, frantically fixing her hair. She gave a very formal bow that'd been pretty if a classmate had not shoved her.
"What was that, you dumba – um, I mean, Ito-kun,"
"What are you all worked up about? You were saying the other day how cute the cap-"
"That was - a long time ago! I've moved past that!"
"That was three weeks ago - ! "
Aizen gracefully stepped in between the snarling youths. A few placating words and they settled down like sheep. The instructor nodded approvingly.
"It is fortuitous that you are here, Lieutenant Aizen. I wonder if your visiting schedule allows you enough time to give my students a sample of a proper education from a truly exemplary officer -"
"Well, Riesei-san, the kids specifically asked me to -"
"Really?!"
"Thank you! You'll do it, Lieutenant Aizen?!"
The cacophony of voices drowned out the captain's objection. A couple of students he pulled aside weren't so supportive of his cause: 'Hey, what 'bout me?' 'Well, you can... just come with him,' 'Meanwhile, talk to Instructor Riesei about that gramophone, would you?'.
Aizen beamed down at the expectant faces. "Of course, I'd be honored - "
Before he even finished the sentence, the eager students dragged him towards the Academy building. Aizen threw a glance at the gawking face of his captain, framed by the pitying looks of his friends, and gave his sunniest smile.
"...and make sure to keep all the spiritual energy in the span of your hands…"
Aizen walked around the classroom inspecting each student trying out the particular kido he'd just demonstrated. He stole a look at his captain who sat in the back in a grumpy, bored heap. Aizen saw him mouth 'Traitors'.
Aizen stopped to help a couple of students stabilize their energy when out of a corner of his eye, he caught the pigtail girl sneaking out from the group, gingerly trotting towards where the blond sat. Without pausing his talk, he kept half a gaze on the girl as she anxiously glanced back lest anyone caught her. (But obviously oblivious to his attention.) The captain tilted his head questioningly but kept silent as the girl fidgeted before him.
Then, to the apparent surprise of the captain, she determinedly took hold of a yellow lock and yanked down so that their heads were nearly level. She brought her mouth near his ear -
Aizen called out.
"Izumi-san, would you kindly demonstrate this hado for the rest of the class -"
"Yessir!"
The girl spun and ran towards the center of the room, leaving the suddenly-released captain flailing for balance. She stood before the practice target and began the incantation -
"Izumi-san, try to disperse the energy a bit, it may get unbalanced -"
- but the girl had finished the recitation too quickly. The shaft of blue light wildly shot out from her hands - the force knocking the girl flat. The spell hurtled over everyone's panicked heads - straight at the captain -
- then shattered right before his face.
Everyone stared at the newcomer as she lowered her hand, which had fired the kido that had disintegrated the wayward spell.
"Fifth level hado, a bit unsuitable for a class of this age, no?"
Although the woman was smiling, her eyes and reiatsu lent a frigid atmosphere. So that the girl, having rushed towards the captain in tears, forgot to apologize and ducked behind him. Holding onto his haori and peeking out fearfully.
"Should be more careful, especially with such a distinguished audience."
She strode towards the captain - effectively blocking out the sight of Aizen apologizing to the same - and bowed.
"Good to see you, Captain Hirako."
"Same, Tsume-ku - sorry, Lieutenant Natsuki. Guess habits die hard."
"Well, you didn't try to pat me on the head. So apparently some habits do die, sir."
Hirako Shinji gave a wry smile.
"Congratulations on the promotion. And Captain Shiba?"
"He's managing a - disagreement with the Third Division. He wasn't sure he could make the visit today so he sent me ahead of him."
"Typical. Ah, everyone, this is the newly promoted Lieutenant Natsuki of the Tenth Division. And... Sou - Aizen Sousuke here -"
"Of course, the sought-after Aizen Sousuke, first time actually seeing you in person."
After a curt nod, she turned her attention back to the blond.
"Actually, I came to deliver a message from the administration. They wanted to discuss the early graduate recruit for this year..."
"That stuff's just perfunctory, 'tis not like..."
"Riesei-san said she'll negotiate the... 'gramophone deal' only afterwards."
The last part thawed the student body back to life. Pinned by hopeful gazes, Hirako Shinji groaned.
"And the captains chose just this day to abandon me."
He rose from his seat, assuaging the tearful girl hanging off his haori when Aizen walked over.
"A moment, captain."
Hirako Shinji blinked when Aizen leaned into his side, deftly stepping aside the girl who looked up at them inquisitively. Aizen tucked a stray lock of hair behind his captain's ear and whispered -
"Just wanted to do this."
Aizen pulled back, taking in his captain's confounded expression. The latter's mouth twitched a few times before grinding out 'Ye're impossible'. Fortunately, the gong for lunch distracted the students.
The captain herded out the youngsters – including the girl who finally released him to join her friends – and soon followed them out. Just before exiting, he mouthed 'Be nice, please.' so that only Aizen could see.
"Pardon,"
A hand swept into the edge of Aizen's vision.
Lieutenant Natsuki plucked a pale strand off Aizen's shoulder.
"He sheds, doesn't he? Even back when he used to tie it."
Aizen let out a small laugh. "Thank you lieutenant. Here -" He held his hand out to the hair between the woman's fingers. "I'll take care of it."
She swung it out of his reach. "Oh, it's no trouble -"
"Really, it's -"
"What are ya two doin'?"
A small hand snatched the hair out of the woman's grip.
Sarugaki Hiyori snorted as she unceremoniously tossed the hair over her shoulder.
"What ya doin' with baldy's hair, Natsuki? Usin' it to curse the idiot?"
"Captain Hirako's rubbing off on you, Lieutenant Sarugaki. To believe in such silly human superstition."
The woman smirked at the little figure who now stood between her and Aizen.
"And do I have a reason to curse Captain Hirako?"
"Well, ya'd know."
The woman chuckled and turned. She acknowledged Yadomaru Lisa - coming in behind Sarugaki Hiyori - with a brief nod as she passed by. Yadomaru adjusted her glasses at the disappearing back.
"She was a lot more amiable the last I saw her during joint-training."
"She'd just run across that idiot baldy."
"Hmm, I suppose Shinji was right in his decision, then."
Sarugaki Hiyori snorted and looked at Aizen.
"She didn't try to pick a fight with ya or somethin', did she?"
"If she had, I wasn't aware."
He first became aware of his desire when he was contemplating his captain's demise.
For as long as he could remember, Aizen had always focused on beyond.
Beyond the coil of his physical being. Beyond the limits of this flawed world.
Every present moment was simply a series of stepping stones to that beyond.
As was this division, this captain. He admitted there was curiosity. Hirako Shinji had been the only one who'd glimpsed his nature. Was careful enough not to be overt about it, yet daring enough to keep him close. In the end, of course, the captain would be removed for him to slip into that useful position.
Until he realized that his captain was coloring snippets of his every day. So that his present moments changed.
Prior, Aizen had never felt the mask he wore a burden. It was his second skin, as natural as breathing. But now, when alone with his captain, he felt the shedding of his facade. The comfort and freedom the other's presence provided. (He wondered if this was what others meant by 'coming home'.)
He had gotten used to his captain.
And so Aizen found himself lingering on this particular stepping stone.
On a whim, Aizen had once imagined that thin wrist slumped on the ground, limp and ashen-grey. Lifeless.
He'd almost physically recoiled at the sheer revulsion the image had brought.
Then he conjured up the picture of his captain covered in blood. For - despite his captain's accusation that he'd never seen Aizen injured - Aizen had never seen Hirako Shinji bleed. (Except for that one time. A cut from a blundering subordinate, the accident that led to revealing that one-letter mark.)
The white haori and the golden mane soaked dark red. The slashed shihakusho offering sight of that narrow chest. Ribbons of red trickling all the way down the sprawled, listless limbs, seeping life out of that body -
Had Hirako Shinji bled for his previous captain?
Probably, if those old scars were anything to go by.
Then the image shifted – to that night he got promoted. The pale flesh seen through the open yukata, the strange sweetness that wafted from within. The darkly colored nipple fenced in by the swirling rise of webbed scar -
Aizen had been startled to realize that his lips had parted. The feel of that imaginary bud on the tip of his tongue sending quivering warmth down his loins.
This was new, Aizen thought bemusedly. Unexpected.
For he'd never expected life to be interesting.
So what if he came to want this particular stepping stone? Why not pick it up, keep it?
Was he not, after all, capable of satisfying his desire?
So Aizen had followed its pull, towards that golden gossamer that enticed him so, wondering how it'd feel when he'd captured it in his hands.
Natsuki Tsume. Rukongai-born. Former Fifth Division Fourth Seat.
"Natsuki-san? Sure, accepted into the Academy upon commendation from then-Lieutenant Hirako… lucky he saw how talented she was. Something of a child prodigy. Early graduation and immediately a seat at the Fifth Division..."
"... always following Cap - well, then-Lieutenant Hirako like she'd tied a string to him. Captain Tenjou didn't take to her. Neither did Mei. Before, it was just the three of them and this young upstart wedges herself in – well, both Tenjou and Natsuki-kun always struck me as a bit childish... Now, Lieutenant Aizen, I truly don't mind you allowing your captain to take those cherry blossoms, but I can't help thinking - "
Missing in action. Considered one of the victims of multiple cases of shinigami disappearances during that time.
"Yes, found by then-Lieutenant Hirako. Came to our division - actually rushed right at Captain Unohana which nearly gave us a heart attack - couldn't blame him, she was just a bloody bundle in his arms…. No, didn't get a good look at her wounds. Hollow attacks, it was surmised at the time - "
Soon after, Captain Tenjou Soichiro went missing. Tenjou House fell. Hirako Shinji promoted to captain.
Natsuki Tsume reinstated after her recovery. Discharged after signs of instability. A re-training period at the Academy at the behest of Captain Hirako.
"The incident probably scarred her mind. These talented ones are often fragile - thinks their star is the highest and the brightest and then learning something can break them like that... "
Multiple requests to be accepted into the Fifth Division. Denied. Eventually transferred to the Tenth Division.
Such was the information that Aizen had gleaned from various records and tongues oiled with right incentives.
It was a chance that he'd come across Natsuki Tsume. The name had simply been a part of Fifth Division's past. He wouldn't have given it any thought except for the dubious nature and timing of the 'incident'. And that Hirako Shinji seemed to watch over her even when she'd moved to a different division, albeit keeping a distance...
"That's classy,"
A curtain of yellow draped over Aizen's head.
He'd been sitting in a privileged corner of the cafeteria reserved for the visiting officers. The captain peered down at the letter in Aizen's hand. It'd been given to him by a blushing young teacher. It held a poem in a skillful calligraphy, with an intricate painting of a peony:
[Like red peonies
Is my heart, a bloom of hope
When sunset bleeds all
I shall wait among the red
Oh, to be dyed indigo]
"Usually it's like:'at the garden, sunset'. As if they're recruiting ya fer an undercover mission,"
Aizen looked at his captain. Amber eyes held only amusement.
"Ya really should be more careful, Sousuke. Readin' that in such an open space."
Aizen folded the letter.
"So, captain?"
"Hmm?"
"As you say, you've found out due to my indiscretion, so..."
Hirako Shinji wrinkled his brow. "Why should that matter?" So saying, he blithely plucked a mochi from Aizen's plate, about to take a bite.
"Oh, Captain Hirako, so they released you late. Join us for lunch."
Natsuki Tsume slipped into the seat opposite Aizen, putting her plate down as if marking a territory. Aizen felt Hirako Shinji unbend, hair brushing his cheek as he did so.
"Thanks, but no, they haven't let me go. Just a short break. And the lineup's too long to get anythin' now."
"I can get you -"
"Don't throw yer officer weight 'bout fer somethin' like that. I was 'bout to leave anyway."
Lieutenant Natuski smiled. The kind of rueful smile Aizen was familiar with.
"Are you avoiding me, Captain Hirako?"
There was a short silence. When Captain Hirako broke it, he did so in a slight, careful voice and Aizen was sure he had on the same kind of smile that was on the woman.
"Not goin' outta my way to do so."
He patted her on the shoulder as he passed by. For a split second, the woman looked like she wanted to cry.
When the captain was out of their sight, she'd regained her composure.
"The general consensus was that you two were rather mismatched," she began, the genial tone belying the burning ice of her eyes. "But you seem to get along, unless you're just enduring it. He used to steal my food too. It's quite annoying."
"You two must have been close," Aizen paused for a quarter of a breath, "once."
The other's chopsticks stilled for a second, then resumed with her words. "Sure, at least I thought so. He has a bad habit of acting close to everybody. He really shouldn't. Gives one wrong ideas, don't you think?" A corner of her lip twisted up. "He leads one to expect things, but he's as calculating as any when making decisions,"
"That's his prerogative and duty. A captain must choose his staff based on capability, rather than any personal relations. Imagined or otherwise."
The woman's dark gaze smoldered against the impassive one of the other. She tossed her head back.
"Speaking of capability, I look forward to experiencing yours first-hand on the next joint-class training session."
"I hardly think a demonstration for juniors is any opportunity for displaying such."
"Oh, I shall arrange something so that your ability isn't wasted. After all, we must show these young things what they must aim for, do we not?"
It occurred to Aizen that he'd always aimed, never wanted.
As it was, he had abstractedly believed the end goal of all wants should be fulfillment.
Yet what came was feeling of never being sated. Never having enough. The frustration of not being able to possess ALL of - of -
Lamplight softly burning the pale, downy hair along that body, blurring its lines, smudging the drowsy form so that it bled into the golden light. The sinewy shifting of hips as he turned over, wrapping the wrinkly sheet all around him. The treacly scent that Aizen could drink in at the base of the nape when he'd brushed away the moistened locks. The way sleepy amber eyes widened a little whenever Aizen said something that surprised him.
If he could crystallize those moments – and hold them, swallow them - make them solely and utterly his-
But all he could do was create those moments again, only to have them slip out of his grasp afterwards, and the thirst was renewed.
Was this what wanting was like? The reaping of want being merely more want?
Or maybe this longing was only quenched by equal amount of longing from the other.
Aizen suspected Hirako Shinji had never truly wanted anyone.
He cared, took responsibility for, and appreciated others. But Aizen wondered if he'd ever longed for a specific someone. Ever suffered the gut-wrenching desire to possess anyone.
He had passion for things - music, stories, trinkets from the Human World – but only compassion for people.
Perhaps because he was much too careful about people. About life.
Was that accountable for that distance, Aizen wondered. Even when they were connected, breaths and flesh mingling, there was a part of Hirako Shinji that stayed distant, watching with slight disapproval and disbelief.
This can't matter nearly as much as you make it out to be, it said. I can't matter that much to you.
As if the act – what they were - was based on the other indulging him, like an adult humoring a demanding child. (It may have been those instances where Aizen left deeper marks on Hirako Shinji. Bruises on those precarious wrists, bites on thighs and throat just short of drawing blood. Pounding into that body so that he almost hurt him.)
It seemed as if all his actions to fulfill his want only fed it.
And it grew. Red maw dripping, all fangs and gnawing hunger.
"...something not even division officers often get to witness. Your undivided attention, please. Lieutenant Aizen, Lieutenant Natsuki. No shikai nor bankai, only swordsmanship."
A spar between lieutenants, under the guise of an educational opportunity for classes. Petty. Puerile. Aizen had accepted.
Aizen smiled at where Riesei's - and Captain Hirako's - students sat as they cheered him on. The sound noticeably dampened when the other stepped into the training area. Aizen likewise took his position. The instructor held up her hand –
Natsuki Tsume shot forward a millisecond faster than the instructor's signal. The latter missed a chance to call a halt as things progressed all too quickly for her.
The woos and ahhs from the students gradually faded into strained, hushed silence, only punctuated by gasps and choked screams as Aizen seemingly avoided and blocked blows within a hair's breadth.
It gradually became apparent that the attacks were killing strikes.
No-one dared to voice it. The instructor tried to intervene, only to coil back at the sheer force of reiatsu around them. Some of the onlookers cringed under its weight, wincing as the invisible knives of it slashed through them.
Aizen seemed to be driven into a corner, forced to defend himself against the murderous assaults being poured upon him.
Desperate now, the instructor courageously stepped forward -
"Officers! That's quite - "
She was cut short by Aizen nearly stumbling into her. Aizen glanced back saying, "Please move out of the - "
Everybody saw the woman's zanpakuto rush forward for a fatal strike – the force of it freezing even the shouts of warning - her mouth parted to utter the shikai she was about to unleash upon her opponent and the unfortunate collateral -
Then the icy reiatsu got stamped down.
It was as if a second was carved out of the audience's perception. The picture had suddenly changed. And the sight was indeed like a picture, the only movement being the white haori and long yellow strands slowly fluttering down.
"That's enough,"
The voice broke the spell. Recognition gradually dawned upon the audience - the blond captain between two lieutenants. One hand behind him, closed around his own lieutenant's sword-grip, and the other stretched forward, holding the blade immobile.
"Both of ya."
The captain sternly remarked as he coldly looked between the two. Aizen immediately lowered his zanpakuto. The other refused to budge until Hirako Shinji gave a light shove, only then the woman relented.
Hirako Shinji whirled around, moving past Aizen, and bowed deep to the barely-standing instructor.
"I apologize for the behavior of these two,"
"Oh, no, er, not at all, please, captain!" The instructor spoke hurriedly. "After all, Lieutenant Aizen was not at fault - "
Her hand flew to her mouth as she realized what her words implied. But the captain had turned his attention back to the two officers.
"Lieutenant Aizen, Lieutenant Natsuki, ya will formally apologize fer yer improper and violent conducts unfit for officers."
Aizen held the gaze only for a fraction of a second before following his captain's example, flustering the instructor further. Natsuki Tsume's zanpakuto remained bare, the hostile reiatsu growling and shivering. But if the previous reiatsu was like that of a bloodthirsty animal, this felt like that of a cornered one. Aizen took a step forward, only to be halted by his captain's hand on his again.
"Lieutenant?" At the captain's address, she slowly sheathed her sword. Her eyes moved towards Hirako Shinji's hand holding Aizen's, and that almost-crying expression flitted over her features. Then she looked straight at Hirako Shinji.
"With all due respect, Captain Hirako, you're not my captain."
It was likely meant to be defiant. Mostly was so. But the emphasis came out almost a stifled wail.
"Ye're right, I ain't. Then I must talk to yer captain regarding the disrespect ye've displayed to the Academy, to the fellow officer and a superior, to be dealt under proper procedure."
Everyone except the three officers held their breaths.
Then Natsuki Tsume drew in a shuddering gulp of air, and stiffly apologized to the instructor.
"I suppose, this marks the end of the session, then. Pray excuse me."
She stormed out of the room. The captain made as if to call her back, but the instructor pleaded with her eyes to just let go. Hirako Shinji sighed.
"May we stay behind a bit? I'd like to have a word with my lieutenant in private."
The instructor would have agreed to anything the captain put to her. Dealing with students was another matter. For fear had given way to thrill and the younger ones crowded around Aizen.
"It ain't fair! You didn't do anything wrong..."
"No, I was just as much in the wrong. I should have thrown the fight once I realized it'd gotten out of hand..."
"Well, you couldn't just lose...!"
After appeasing the excited students and the dazed instructor, Aizen gently ushered the lot outside. The pigtail girl hesitated by the doorway, then leaned over to Aizen conspiratorially, casting furtive looks to the captain.
"Is... is Captain Hirako usually like that?"
"Like...?"
"Really like… a captain."
When even the girl was out, Aizen turned to meet the scowling visage of his captain.
"'Should've thrown the fight'... Damn right ya should've. What's gotten into ya? Ya usually wouldn't let yerself get roped into such a childish game."
"Lieutenant Natsuki had already made the arrangement. How could I possibly refuse?"
"Ya perfectly could've if ya wanted to. And what were ya doin' turning it into an actual fight?"
"Shouldn't I have defended myself from attacks meant to kill?"
"Ya baited her. I know ya. That was the plan, wasn't it? Ya deliberately led her on so that poor staff would be in the way and ya'd have a perfect excuse to thoroughly humiliate her. What were ya going' to do -"
"Why are you angry?"
No-one else would've noticed the miniscule rise in the lieutenant's voice. But this was Hirako Shinji. The latter backed off at once, calm restored so that Aizen had to match it.
"I felt yer reiatusu when I held ya, ya know," Hirako Shinji murmured softly, "enough to shatter her zanpakuto."
"It'd have been a valuable lesson on her part."
Hirako Shinji donned a tired smile that was quite disarming.
"She's been through hell. There was no lesson. Only cruelty. I doubt anythin' ya dish out will be an improvement."
Aizen absently brushed his knuckles that had been in the other's grip. The waning warmth tingling.
"Do you consider yourself part of what she's been through?"
"Ya dug that up as well?" For a moment, it looked like his temper would flare up again. Then he just sagged. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I don't consider, I am."
There was a bout of silence. Then Aizen spoke.
"Your presence... reminds her of it. That's why you decided to keep her distant. Tenth Division because it has no personal ties whatsoever with you. Was it suggested by Captain Unohana?"
"Did ya stick an extra eye on me or somethin'?"
"You stopped your visits after having private discussions with Captain Unohana, so."
"Pretty much. Outta sight, outta mind deal. Apparently she acts okay as long as I'm not around. A form of trauma. Captain Shiba told me she was doing fine so I thought..." Hirako Shinji shook his head.
"Did you ever explain it to her?"
"I tried to. But I suppose it wasn't enough."
"It's not a matter of being deficient if the receiver refuses what's given."
"Then, perhaps I shouldn't have given her anythin' to begin with."
Hirako Shinji raked a hand through his hair.
"Listen, for the rest of the stay... just... don't provoke her,"
"A difficult task. Since my - our - very existence seems to provoke her."
"Just try to stay outta her way. I'm here to supervise students and officers, not a couple of five-year-olds pullin' each other's hair. If ya can't be mature, at least act like it. Ye're good at that,"
"You do realize she's older than me, right?"
Hirako Shinji shot up both arms exasperatedly. Aizen shrugged.
"Our schedule ends after two classes anyway. We can skip the closing ceremony and return right away to avoid any more... unpleasantries."
"Thought ya had a rendezvous at the garden by sunset."
Aizen said nothing. When his captain had grown suitably uncomfortable, Aizen muttered quietly.
"You expect me to go?"
"I don't expect anythin', I just thought... well it won't do to have that poor young thing stood up, don't ya think? Ya know, just to say somethin'..."
"You seem awfully confident about my response, captain."
Aizen felt the ends of his mouth curl up. He wondered how he looked right now, judging from his captain's expression. His captain repeated the arm-lift gesture, a little more helplessly than before.
"I was just tryin' to be considerate. Sousuke, just do what ya want,"
"I don't think you'd like to know what I want to do right now, Captain Hirako."
"I want to drown you alive."
He'd said once, when they were tangled together on the captain's futon, onto the slippery skin of the other's throat. His captain had pulled back at that. Eyes scrunching up, scrutinizing him.
"Not only does it sound creepy, it don't make a lick of sense."
Aizen had laughed. And caressed his captain again until he arched up against him and cried out.
But the thought stayed, hidden in the depth of him, as dark and deep as the waters he wanted to imprison Hirako Shinji in. Where Hirako Shinji wouldn't stay away or reach out to anyone else. Breathing and drinking and feeling only him. Free and safe from the weight of anything else.
For even when he had first laid eyes on the blond, the looming captain's haori looked too heavy for him. Perhaps that was its purpose, to weigh him down.
Hirako Shinji looked something made of powder. Aizen couldn't help picturing others being smeared with him, breathing him in whenever he glided over to them.
Perhaps that was why Aizen constantly reached out for him, catching at something just on the verge of drifting away. Why Aizen always tried to wet him down, so that he was tangible enough to hold. A certain satisfaction stirred in Aizen when he sighted that light body glistening after their coupling. As well as a pang of guilt. Because it felt like he'd forced a state unnatural unto it. A butterfly caught in the rain. (But other options were either pinning it or ripping out its wings, wasn't it so?) That was how Hirako Shinji looked when with Aizen. Ravaged rather than ravished.
And he wanted to touch those raw parts, kiss the tender spots, soothe away the pain and ache visited upon that body. Then the transgression would be repeated. As if the only way he could heal the other was to violate him.
He supposed he should be assured. At his captain's willing embrace. Open arms that allowed Aizen to weigh him down.
Nevertheless.
I want you to fall into me, not merely accept me.
And he pictured the golden strands swirling in the indigo depths, like blood in the water.
Aizen knew he wouldn't be able to keep his captain's request when he spotted the familiar figure close by.
He was sitting in the mostly-empty assembly hall. There were only a handful of people loitering about, his captain still held captive by the administration.
Natuski Tsume stood right beside him.
"Lieutenant Natsuki," Aizen didn't bother to smile. "Am I in your seat?"
"So, the supposedly docile lieutenant has some sting in him after all."
Aizen frowned and then realized that his words could be taken in another context.
Still, how presumptuous of her. The sheer impertinence.
On the other side of the hall, Lieutenant Sarugaki was chatting with another staff, who remained miraculously un-kicked. The small shinigami glanced at their direction, furrowed her brow, and made a gesture: 'Ya need help with that?'
Aizen smiled at her, gesturing back 'No, thank you'.
Sarugaki Hiyori looked unconvinced but nodded. Except stealth wasn't her forte and the whole communication was performed before the full viewership of Lieutenant Natsuki.
"Fighting your own battles, eh, lieutenant?" She slumped down right beside Aizen. "I'm surprised, Lieutenant Sarugaki doesn't get along with most people."
"She's more caring than people give credit for."
She let out a short bark of a laugh. She bent down, looked askance at him through her dark hair.
"Brings back memories, this place. My old training instructor, he's still here, still likes to talk. From what I heard, you've been nosy. You consider that a quality of a capable officer?"
"I do believe in having as much information as possible, in order to better serve and protect one's division and my captain."
"Ah, one's division, yet my captain,"
Aizen just looked at the woman placidly. To her credit, she didn't buck under his gaze.
"I've been part of that past information you speak of, so you should ask."
"I doubt I'll get a correct answer from you, Lieutenant Natsuki, since you seem the kind to warp things you take in."
That threw her off. She was more alarmed than offended at first. Then her eyes narrowed.
"You know nothing about me, nor the past Fifth Division, let alone Captain Hirako -"
"I've seen others like you, Lieutenant Natsuki. They're not that difficult to read. Like a child who mistakes want for right, sense of responsibility for affection. Taking out her anger on others when expectations aren't met."
"You say that so easily. So aloof and condescending. I bet everything came easily for you, Lieutenant Aizen, never once rejected, discarded by a trusted one - "
"For his honor, Captain Hirako denied you not because you were broken, but because his presence would only pain you."
"He told you?!"
"He didn't need to. I've seen it."
How the captain's presence skinned you. All the bones and organs bare. So that you were again that bloody bundle he carried and everything was pain. And you were going to use that pain to cling to him further. Like a sick child who refuses to get better to snare all attention for herself. And out of that pain came spite, poisoning yourself and others. I would have used something like you until you expired. Except Hirako Shinji cared enough to push you away.
"That's just – he knew what I wanted and yet - "
"He watched over you. Offered to be a friend, didn't he?"
"Oh, a friend," She gave a derisive sneer. "He has those in spades,"
Something in her words struck an unpleasantly familiar chord.
"I wanted to be by his side, to protect him."
"Weren't you given a chance - chances - and proved otherwise?"
Aizen watched the anger being squeezed out of the woman like pus. Hirako Shinji would have pitied her. To Aizen, it was just as unsightly as it'd have been in an actual physical manifestation. Aizen regarded trembling fists on her knees, the reddened eyes, with distaste.
"You don't know, at all, what it's like to be abandoned by one you've admired -"
"Admiration, I always thought, couldn't be further from understanding."
Aizen got up from his seat.
"I have to go. My captain told me to rescue him if he doesn't come before the closing ceremony. Pray excuse me, Lieutenant Natsuki."
He turned away, leaving the woman curled up like an animal in pain.
"You're not the only one who sees, Lieutenant Aizen."
The voice was surprisingly calm.
"And I've seen how you look at Captain Hirako. I don't know how others don't see it. I've seen that look in Tenjou Soichiro as well, you know."
Aizen didn't turn, but he stopped in his tracks.
"He was a monster, I was only trying to save him from the monster. Don't think you can succeed where I couldn't, Lieutenant Aizen."
A frozen moment passed. Then:
"Take care, Lieutenant Natsuki,"
Aizen went out of the hall.
Turned out, they missed each other. Since the administration had no idea where his captain had sauntered off to, Aizen missed the closing ceremony looking for him.
He came upon him by coincidence. Hirako Shinji had his back to him, talking to the pigtail girl. Aizen was too far away to hear what they were saying. But the girl held out her pinky to be locked with the captain's, and she whipped around and ran, the tails flying.
Hirako Shinji turned. He wasn't startled to find Aizen behind him.
"So, ya went after all, huh? The Hell did ya tell the poet?"
"How did you -"
"Some young thing nearly crashed into me running in from the garden. Eyes all puffy. Recognized me and snapped that I'm damned lucky to have someone like ya as a lieutenant."
"I said my devotion to the division and my captain bars me from entertaining such a relationship."
Hirako Shinji huffed. "And so my infamy increases."
"What were you talking about with Izumi-san?"
"Oh, she asked if I could join her and her friends at the next fireworks festival."
What a clever child you are, Izumi-san. Certainly more so than Natsuki Tsume. Aizen could picture that night: Only the pigtail girl would be there, lamenting on the absence of her friends who had mysteriously picked that night to be sick, grounded, or otherwise busy. Oh, well, they might as well enjoy the fireworks, the two of them.
For all the distance you keep, it is remarkable how you let others approach you so easily.
Perhaps because Hirako Shinji was so detached about his own wants, he was used to giving himself to others.
And it made Aizen wonder, if Natsuki Tsume hadn't turned into what she was now... if Hirako Shinji hadn't been a captain who was responsible for so many... if anyone clung enough, wanted enough, and their wanting didn't hurt anyone else...
Hirako Shinji would've given them what they wanted. Out of compassion.
It made him wonder what they had might have sprung up from the same compassion. Whether he was merely treading the grooves clawed in by another.
He had almost asked the question when they'd come together the first time - that breakable body flushed and wet and open for him -
'Has he seen you like this?'
Aizen had known perfectly why it'd be impossible to possess him wholly. Because Hirako Shinji had been spread out even before they had known each other. Others possessing pieces of him like pollen smeared on the bees in springtime.
Some had died with that piece, ensuring that it was away from Aizen forever.
"What if I tell you not to go?"
Hirako Shinji looked at him with a gaping mouth, obviously doubting his ears.
"I'm sorry, what?"
Aizen repeated himself. Causing the other to shake his head incredulously.
"Ya won't. Ya can't be that petty. "
"Just like you didn't stop me from going to the garden?"
Now Hirako Shinji really looked at him full in the eyes. Serious, with that disapproving crease of the brow.
"Ya got too much pride to really ask me that."
"So you're too considerate, and I'm too proud."
His captain's arms once more fluttered up in exasperation, sleeves flaring like wings of an agitated butterfly, folding down with a loud flap.
They stood glaring at each other, a couple of misplaced statues in the corner of a shady hall.
Then, after some hesitation, Hirako Shinji reached up. Long fingers closed over Aizen's cheeks, pulling his head down just slightly. Lips lightly touching.
His captain probably had meant to stop at that. But Aizen took hold of his shoulders, drawing him close. His mouth pressing into the other's forcefully. Aizen could feel the other tense up, aware that they were standing in the public hallway of the Academy. Yet Aizen deepened the contact, until there was a resigned sigh. Then Hirako Shinji let him in.
They parted just a little short of breath, Aizen's words settling warmly on the other's lips.
"As long as we understand that about each other."
As long as you understand.
Where most of you belong.
Aizen has no middle ground. One's either an ant or His Fated One.
Of course, 'admiration is far from understanding' line is from canon, when Aizen is talking to Hitsugaya about Momo, just after he stabbed her.
Captain Shiba is Shiba Isshin – a.k.a Kurosaki Isshin during his time as the captain of the Tenth Division. Since it's unclear how long he was the captain of the Tenth Division, I've just decided to put him in this timeline.
