He loved her, and he was about to lose everything.

And yet he couldn't do a single thing about it but to kiss her.

That moment, a moment too late and completely at her mercy, Ren knew he had fallen too deep and there was no turning back.

Glazed eyes, tangled limbs, and soft hairs.

Huh. Kyouko glanced at her right hand, and indeed, it was hidden beneath mass of black hairs, and some blond roots that passed Kyouko's attention at the moment. She continued her ministration to the mop of hair, liking the feeling of those soft locks running under her fingers.

"Kyouko", she heard a voice say. Tsuruga-san's, her addled brain supplied. It did sound like him, though the voice had sounded rather hoarse. He sounded like he had just eaten too much candies, she added irrationally.

"Tsmh" She tried to reply, but realized that her mouth was preoccupied at the moment. Weird. She tried to open her mouth again and she felt something slip in, something rather alive and wet. She tried to fight off this rude intruder, only to be shocked when said intruder became even bolder in response.

"Kyouko" she heard that voice again. –san, she primly added. He should call her Kyouko-san. She liked the way he said her name though. It brought tingles to her spine. Or maybe it was because of the caress she felt down at the small of her back.

"Nnh-" she replied, her own sound foreign to her ears. Was it her just now?

"Mmm.." she tried again, and she felt it extremely difficult for her to focus on any words, even less talk. She didn't feel like talking.

"Kyouko.."

She felt nice.

She was also running out of oxygen.

"Kyou-"

Kyouko yanked herself out of—whatever she was in—and breathed the much needed oxygen. She looked at herself and at her surrounding. Her senpai's apartment, she realized. Her clothes was disheveled and half unbuttoned.

In front of her was her senpai, looking not much different than the state she was in. It was his hair, Kyouko irritatedly thought. I was running my hand through Tsuruga-san's hair. His stared off, looking as surprised as she was. His normally neat white shirt was messy; his hair was unruffled and on his neck was some fresh bruises. What have I done?

"Kyouko, I—"

"-san."

"What?"

"Kyouko-san. Just Kyouko is not proper."

The actor frowned, realizing that this was not the first time that she had snubbed him off for calling her familarly. Her name was the last thing on his mind at the moment however.

"Kyouko-san. What we just did—"

"I understand, Tsuruga-san" Kyouko said distractedly.

"You do?" Ren said, not thinking that she did.

"You probably was practicing your move for that highschool girl you're in love with."

"I-, what?"

"That wasn't very nice. I understand that even you get carried away sometimes, but any nice Japanese girl might mistake your playboy ways for something more."

"Mogami-san—"

"Alas, I need to go" Kyouko said with exaggerated galantry, quickly packing for her things. "Today had been rather, ah, eventful. I thank you for your hospitality, Tsuruga-san."

"Mogami-san"

"Tsuruga-san, I really need to go." Kyouko said, not looking at the man in front of her. In fact, looking at anything but the man in front of her.

"Mogami-san, look at me." Ren grabbed her hand, refusing to let go. She tried to yank him off, but failed to. She frowned at the offending hand on her wrist, annoyed that it held her captive.

"You don't understand, Tsuruga-san. My curfew—"

"You don't live with the Darumaya couples anymore. You don't have curfews, Mogami-san."

"But the last train—"

"Please. Let me say something. I'll drop you off after that, I promise."

Kyouko placed one last frown at his hand on her wrist, as if thinking of any means of escape and could not find one. She finally relented and sat back on the couch.

"Kyouko-san." Ren tried, "that highschool girl…"

"It's fine Tsuruga-san. You don't have to tell me about her anymore now that you know I'm Bo."

"No, listen, Mogami-san" Ren reverted back to calling her by her family name, frustrated that she wasn't listening to him and half-expecting illogically that calling her by her family name would somewhat make her listen to him as a senpai.

"That highschool girl is you."

Ren saw her twitched so he knew she heard him, and she didn't move away from him, which he took as a good sign.

"The highschool girl that I love, I was talking about you. That's why I couldn't have told you about my love problem. It was all about you, Mogami-san."

"I love you" Ren begged, of what he didn't know.

Kyouko still refused to look at him, and something in Ren broke.

"I love you" Ren tried again. "Please"

"Kyouko-san, look at me. Say something."

A cliff. She inched back, her heels kicking off rubbles to the bottomless pit. She was cornered. Tsuruga-san inched closer, begging her. Please. Please. She shook her head. Don't. Don't come any closer! I'll fall off.

Please.

No!

"No!" Kyouko shouted, shaking her head like she had just seen her worst nightmare. "I can't."

"Why can't you?"

"I can't. No."

"No?"

Kyouko shook her head, as if the very answer scared her. She unwittingly hugged herself and realized that she was shaking.

Silence.

"I understand" Ren smiled and gathered himself, the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Kyouko thought his eyes looked a bit wet, although it would be presumptuous of her to think that the great Tsuruga Ren had just cried.

"Let me drop you home." Ren stood and reached for her hands, but Kyouko jerked back as if his hands were hot as coals.

Ren frowned at his hand as if it had just personally offended him.

I shouldn't have kissed her. I should've waited until she's ready. What have I done?

Any man would've cried at this point, but not Ren, no. He deserved this, after what he had done to Rick. His heart though, the way it clenched so painfully, he was sure it must have shattered off to a thousand pieces. He suddenly found it hard to breathe.

What have I done?