At long last! I am back and finally out of prison-er, I mean rehab-er, I mean... College! Yeah, that's it! I hope you enjoy this chapter because I spent a whole 5 minutes writing it!
Raiden: This is Raiden. If I were here then I wouldn't answer anyway because most likely it isn't important. What is more important than saving Earthrealm? Exactly. Now fuck off.
*beep*
GuyWithNoOriginality- Raiden? Yo, are you there? This series has been on a long enough hiatus. Time to get back to work... Of course, if you weren't at work you would actually be around to answer your phone. So, NO MORE BREAKS!
*beep*
Ed Boon- Um yeah, GuyWithNoOriginality. Raiden is MY intellectual property you asshole. You keep using his name like the spineless leech that you are... well you will find it hard to do so again after I rip off your head!
*beep*
Scorpion- Raiden! What's up buddy? I haven't from you in a while. Did you ever get me that movie I asked you to get for me? "Rough Gay Anal Sex Vol 2?" By the way, I am getting this for a friend of mine... yep.
*beep*
Sub-Zero- It would be ice to hear from you again. It's rather cold to just give me and all the other fighters the cold shoulder like you've been doing. What, we're not cool enough for you now? I am fucking Sub-Zero! Nobody is cooler nor colder than me!
*beep*
Jax- Yo brah, since da las' installament... I've become more stereotypical an' shit, nigga. Anyway brah, you seen my bitch Sonya? She owe me about five blowjobs and a turkey sandwich... and don' tell her dis but I am cheating on her with Kitana.
*beep*
Sonya- If you see Jax, don't tell him that I am cheating on him... with Kitana, okay? I am experimenting with women.
*beep*
Goro- I'm really working on my forearms! Next time we fight, you're done!
*beep*
Goro- Oops, I forgot to ask you... can I come over to your temple right quick? I really have to pee...
*beep*
Shinnok- You have my amulet! I know it! Until you give it back I will have to keep calling and hanging up repeatedly!
*beep*
Goro- You fucking asshole! I just needed to use your bathroom! Do you know how much it hurts holding it in when you have four bladders? Of course you don't because you don't ever HAVE to pee! Why do you even have a bathroom then? Does the writer even think before typing this shit out?
*beep*
Jesus- Hi! I am calling for absolutely no reason! Well, see ya later!
*beep*
Shinnok-...
*beep*
Shang Tsung- Just calling to ask you if you have any spare souls lying around? My shoes really need them. Ha! Get it!
*beep*
Angry Internet Virgin- you gotta be kidding me! That's the best joke you can come up with? No, fuck you! I don't care if it's called "Raiden's Answering Machine"! It's still written by you and I am talking to YOU! So fuck you, fuck Raiden and fuck your goldfish!
*beep*
GuyWithNoOriginality- Why you so mean to my goldfish? -cries-
*beep*
Shinnok-...
*beep*
Chuck Norris- It is me! That really overrated guy that people only know of because of a meme! Since I lost my last bit of integrity years ago when I became a bibletumping Christfag... I was just calling to ask if you've converted to Christianity. I know you're a literal God but I don't care. I am Chuck Norris and I am THAT egotistical to ask you.
*beep*
Raiden- Damn it, how about you fuckers stop calling my phone? It's been what, six years or so? Seriously, STOP!
*beep*
Shinnok-...
*beep*
Jax- Ay nigga! Why da fuck did you let Sonya cheat on me fo, you punk bitch! Kitana be a slut an shit anyway...
*beep*
Voice- No more messages, bitch.
