Dan knocks hastily as he finally reaches the white doors. He runs a hand nervously through his hair, moving from one foot to the other. The door opens and he blurts out, a little winded out from running all the way here from the tube,
"Hi, is Nat ready?"
Ms Farwell doesn't notice his strange appearance or just doesn't comment on it, though his hair is disheveled and his shirt is crumpled from balling his fists into it constantly. The woman smiles warmly, hundreds of single wrinkles creating around her golden eyes,
"Oh yes, she is! We've been waiting for you for a long time now!" she says, inviting him in.
Dan leans heavily on the doorframe, taking in quick breaths, shaking his head lightly,
"I'm really sorry for this, there was a lot of traffic," he explains. He takes out his wallet, his hands shaking albeit faintly as he pulls out two twenty bills, adding some more as a tip. "That's for the extra time you needed to spend with Nat."
The old lady looks at him like he's grown two heads as she shakes her head vigorously, pushing the money away,
"I will not take this!" She leans in, "You're gonna need it more than I," she adds, whispering understandingly.
Dan furrows his brows, not getting what she meant but accepts the returned money, "Thank you, I promise it won't happen again," he says solemnly.
Ms Farwell shrugs him off, smiling widely, "Oh, no problem at all! It was really nice getting to know that little lady more!" she chimes and a brown haired head sticks in from the door.
Dan flashes a weak smile to the lady as he nods at Nat. His sister puts on her black shoes, stopping to say goodbye in such a polite way Dan can't believe it's his sister.
"Thank you and sorry, ma'am. I really couldn't get here earlier," he apologises once again, fully aware that if he hadn't sunk in his thoughts and missed his stop, he'd have been here on time and wouldn't need to worry about arriving on time to his work.
The lady nods with comprehension.
"Next lesson in a week, Natalie!" she shouts after them as they're walking away.
"Okay, I won't forget! Goodbye, Ms Farwell!" she shouts, waving in her direction.
Only when they're out of her sight, Nat looks over her brother, his tense body, eyes trained down on the sidewalk. She nudges him to stop when he's a foot from hitting a road sign.
"Dan, are you okay?" she asks quietly as they set off again. Dan seems upset, there's definitely something on his mind.
Her brother doesn't reply, he only quickens their pace even more.
"Dan!" she yells at last as his behavior scares her. She wants to know if everything's alright, wants to know what happened to make her brother that concerned.
Dan stops. He stares at her for a moment, shaking his head lightly and his brown eyes finally focus on her, "What is it, sweetheart?"
Nat stands in front of him, her forehead wrinkled, "What is wrong, Dan?"
"Nothing, sweetie, I'm gonna be late for work, is all, we gotta hurry," he says and she nods. They start walking again, this time a little slower so it doesn't seem like they're running away from something. "How did you like your new teacher?" he chats her up, his eyes staying on her face just for a second before they are drawn to his feet once again.
"Well, at the beginning I thought she's gonna be really dense or strict but she is really sweet and helpful!" she talks, looking at Dan's reaction. He only nods and Nat squints her eyes with suspicion. Her sharp instinct tells her Dan isn't listening her at all.
"And then she showed me her snake, she has a real python!" she makes up, studying her brother's face. She knows Dan wouldn't be quite happy about anything harmful being near her so when he only nods sheepishly, Nat understands that whatever he's thinking about must be huge to keep him that sunk in his own thoughts.
She's silent for the rest of the way, squeezing her brother's hand as if it could make him smile.
He has no idea what it was back there at Phil's flat. One second they were talking and the next one they got so close Dan could breathe in Phil's sweet fruity scent and count freckles on his nose. His mind was giving him mixed signals, he wanted to slam their lips together and then he was scared to do it.
Dan doesn't know why he's feeling this physical attraction to the man. He's not gay!
After dropping Nat at their flat, he only grabs his jacket and heads to work immediately. The train nearly leaves without him but he quickly puts his foot between the door. When he's at the bar, it's twenty past five, meaning he's late.
He only prays Michael doesn't notice or he's not there today.
"Hey," Dan mutters to Nes, quickly taking off his jacket and tying up his apron.
Maybe Dan is feeling the physical attraction toward the blue eyed because the guy is simply hot? His mesmerizing blue like ocean eyes, the paleness of his smooth soft skin and the black fringe, oh so similar to his can really do a thing to a man's heart. And Dan's sure he wouldn't be an exception. There were probably a lot of other guys contemplating changing their orientation only to be able to swim in Phil's eyes and melt under its gaze.
Nessa knits her brows as she watches Dan. He seems... off, definitely. He hadn't said a word to her so far if she doesn't count the greeting and it's nearing eight now. He works in almost a complete silence, talking only when he takes orders. Often wrinkling his forehead, as if to dismiss some idea, he's super precise, merely pedantic fixing the drinks.
She's been expecting something entirely different. She thought that after their fight, Dan would grunt and pretend she doesn't exist, for what she deserves.
When the silence becomes too much for her work comfort and chatty personality, she breaks finally, her posture slouched and face filled with guilt and regret,
"Dan, I wanted to talk with you about what I said earlier," she starts, watching Dan intently. The boy frowns, hearing her voice and he turns to face her, giving her his full attention. "I... I judged you too fast. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have."
He stares at her for a while and his thoughtful expression turns into a truthful smile,
"It's okay, everyone does that," he says, looking ahead as if he was quoting someone.
She narrows her eyes, "What? What do you mean?"
But Dan is back in his little world again, "Huh?" he asks, not particularly listening. "Oh, listen," he speaks, leaning into her ear. "A delivery guy called earlier, said he had a little car breakdown and he's not able to make it here quicker than two hours," he whispers, casting little glances in direction of Michael's office.
Nes squints her eyes, wondering why Dan is daydreaming so much, "Okay, I'll tell the boss."
The brown haired glances up, his eyes wide and Nes notices he's shaking almost invisibly, "Are you sure? I can do that," he gulps and she only waves him off with a motion of her hand.
"No, it's fine. I'll be fine, don't worry," she calms him down, walking away.
She can't picture Dan being able to explain their boss the delivery will be late and not fainting in the process. And she's sure Michael wouldn't be quite happy to receive that message from him.
The next day Dan finds himself standing right in front of his friend's door. He rubs at his neck nervously. He doesn't need to go in, he still can back away, he repeats to himself. Though after two days of pondering and analysing every little detail of his and Phil meeting and why did everything happen the way it did, why he felt desire, lust toward the other man and asking himself many other why's, Dan feels his head might explode if he doesn't hear an outside observer's opinion.
Tentatively, he knocks on the wood. He doesn't know what to expect. He and Kev didn't have a talk about orientation yet so Dan may be as well walking into a lion's mouth. He hopes Kevin will understand his feelings and his own confusion at least.
Kevin opens the door and stares at Dan in question, but lets him in silently, seeing how indecisive his friend looks like.
They take seats on the black sofa after Kevin throws some of his t-shirts off it.
"Is everything alright, Dan? You seem..." he pauses, thinking how not to offend his friend and be delicate, "kinda different?" he finally opts for what he hopes is the best.
Dan lets out a breath lasting at least a few seconds. He rubs at his eyes and blinks at him, "I don't know myself..." he mutters, staring at his hands.
Kevin cocks an eyebrow. Dan's hiding something. And it's bothering him a lot.
"Did something happen? Did your boss do something to you?" he questions, Boss The Dick being the only on his blacklist for hurting his friend.
The brown haired glances at him briefly, but looks down at last, "I wish," he whispers and Kev's brows knit.
"Dan, what is going on?" he asks seriously, straightening up as he feels something big is coming up.
Dan rubs his neck as he breathes out heavily, "I- it's... Kev, I'm..." he stumbles over his words, his brown eyes closing. "I think I'm in too deep," he explains quietly, finding interest in his hands.
The blond studies him for a minute. Dan's bottom lip quivers and light tremors shake his body.
"With who?" he asks calmly, trying to understand the situation.
Dan's chest heaves as he carries on, "We kissed." Kev's mouth falls open and Dan quickly adds, "Nearly."
"But I'm not gay!" he screams, frustrated.
It clicks in Kevin's mind and he understands right away who Dan is referring to. The first thing he wants to do is to crack a joke of 'there you are' but as he watches his friend attentively, he drops the idea. Dan's taking in fast breaths as he holds his head in his arms. He's seemingly overwhelmed by the situation.
"Well, maybe you are," he speaks softly, locking eyes with the brown haired.
"Am not!" Dan shoots him a dirty look.
"Maybe you are," Kevin presses.
"But I'm not!" he stands up and paces around the room, arms crossed.
"Dan," he tries again, changing his tone to as soft as it's humanly possible, "those things change. Maybe you just didn't realise you're gay?"
"Am not! Damn you, Kev!" he shouts, standing by the window, his back on Kevin.
"Listen, it's like with colours," the blond speaks again, after a minute, hoping his friend won't shoot him. "You like one colour, then you don't, you love another one!" he explains, gesticulating animatedly. He laughs as he realises something, "Though I don't think black will ever stop being your favourite!"
Dan rolls his eyes at his friend as he sits on the sofa once again. He takes in a breath, fixing his gaze with the sapphire eyes,
"What am I supposed to do?"
Kevin's answer is quick and simple, "Play it cool. Like a ninja." Well, as simple as it could be.
"Like a what?" he squints his eyes and wrinkles his forehead. Anyone except Kevin would explain normally what they mean but that's not how it works with his friend.
"Just see," he prompts eagerly. "See if he feels the same way."
"Kev, we nearly kissed!" he brings again the obvious.
"Then just ask him what it was about," Kevin eyes Dan who lets out an exasperated breath and looks at him with disbelief.
"Are you crazy?! He's gonna think I'm some weirdo!"
The blond splays out his hands in surrender, "Well, what can I tell you? I'm not a good love adviser," he grins but his face turns serious again. "Just do what your heart tells you to do."
Dan nods, lips pressed together. He knows what his heart tells him but he doesn't want to admit to those feelings and most important of all, he doesn't want Phil to know about them. The last time he opened up to someone was when he spilled all the truth about his situation to Michael and that ended in the worst way possible.
He's truly scared it will happen again.
Hope you enjoyed, leave some words of wisdom for me :3
ps. next one is gonna be full of pheeelings!
