Chapter 11

Sam sat in the spotless hospital bed sighing with relief, she wouldn't have to see anyone she knew for almost a month. She wouldn't have to feel their eyes full of sympathy and disappointment on her. She lay back and drifted off to sleep. Strangely enough it wasn't Hugh who she dreamed about for the first time in ages, it was Phil. She was in the tunnels, adrenalin running through her. Her breath was coming in short bursts, her legs and back hurt from dragging Phil. He was lying in front of her, barely conscious. "Come one Phil, stay with me, talk to me" she encouraged.

"Did I ever tell you my mum was Catholic?" he asked her, his voice ragged.

"No, you didn't" Sam answered, trying to keep him talking.

"Yeah, she was always at mass, while my dad was out thieving." Phil answered.

"Really?" Sam asked, trying to keep him consciousness, he needed to stay with her if he was going to survive.

Phil shifted in her arms, his face coming up near hers. For a moment she was lost in his eyes, she drew nearer to him. But at the last moment a wedge in her back reminded her where she was, who she was with. "No, I'm not going to kiss you. I'll save your life but I won't kiss you" she told him, it had seemed so right at the time. If only she had kissed him then, taken a risk all this might have been avoided. If she had proved to Hugh that she could love, if not him then someone else, he wouldn't have seen the need to kidnap her daughter, to kidnap her and rape her.

Now Sam was in the office, it was Phil's first day back at work. He got out of the car and limped towards the front office. Ken was on her right and Rob on her left.

"How's his leg?" Ken asked.

"Is that the first time you've seen Phil limp Sarge?" Rob asked.

"No" Sam replied "I saw him in the tunnels" Rob snickered and Sam grinned, "Very funny, go on, get out of here." She sat down and was about to get on with her paperwork when she noticed Ken had something in his mouth.

"Ken…are they" he grinned at her exposing his vampire fangs, "Oh, they are" Sam smirked trying not to laugh too hard.

"You noticed, what do you think?" he asked his voice very muffled because of the fangs.

"I think, count," Rob replied "that you've been working too hard"

Ken removed the fangs, "Me an' the Mrs are going to a fancy dress party later, I haven't picked up the costumes yet so if either of you want to come-"

"Busy" Sam replied, shuddering at the thought.

"Ditto" Rob replied.

"Very" Sam answered trying her best to keep a straight face, although she didn't quite manage. Phil walked into the office a few minutes later, he ignored most people, walking over to his desk and getting on with the paperwork that had built up. Sam glanced around making sure no one was looking and then she walked over to him. "How are you?" she asked

"Fine, how are you after the whole Weaver saga?" Phil asked

"Well, having him chasing me in the tunnels isn't something I'm going to forget in a hurry, but you're the one who got shot in the leg, how are you?" Sam countered, she tilted her head flirtatiously. Sam knew that was exactly what had happened at the time, even the head tilt, though she hadn't been aware of it then.

"Oh, alright. Now that Weaver's dead I don't have to keep looking over my shoulder every five minutes." Phil replied smiling at her, in a nice way. He didn't look like he was imagining her naked as he had so many other times before and for some reason Sam wasn't pleased. She had liked his attention.

"Well, it's good to have you back" she told him laying a hand on his shoulder. He smiled up at her, his blue shirt complimenting his eyes. Sam hesitated then walked away, she knew if she stayed a moment longer she might say something she'd regret.

Sam drifted into consciousness as the nurse shook her, "Mmm?" she enquired sleepily.

"I was asked to give you this" the nurse told her smiling and she handed Sam a folded piece of paper. It was the same notepaper that was in Phil's notebook, it was Phil's handwriting. Sam's eyes scanned the note, as she took in what he was saying her eyes filled with tears. He still loved her, even though he knew what Hugh had done to her. He still wanted her. Sam didn't know why but that meant a lot to her. His words about Abi rang home too, he was right, she had a responsibility to her daughter and she had to get out of here, she had to be strong for Abi's sake if not her own. If Sam let what had happened to her control her life then he had won.

Struggling to sit up she saw the nurse was still standing nearby, "Shall I show them in?" she asked.

Sam shook her head, "No, I was wondering, can I have some discharge papers please?" Sam asked

"Well, we'll have to have some guarantee that you won't drink. One more episode like this could kill you" the nurse answered.

"I don't think that'll be a problem, I just saw the light at the end of a very long tunnel" Sam replied swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

"No you don't, you still have to be hooked up to that banana bag for another twenty minutes. You wait there while I fetch your discharge papers. Would you like me to inform your family?" the nurse told her pushing her back down on the bed.

"No, I want to surprise them" Sam answered, grateful she didn't have to sit up yet, her head was still pounding.

The nurse came back a few minutes later with her forms, Sam sat up and signed them. A few minutes after that the nurse said she could start getting changed.

Phil sighed, it had been almost twenty minutes since he had seen the nurse go to give Sam his note. If she hadn't changed her mind yet it was safe to say she wasn't going to. Rubbing his eyes he just wished that he had been able to protect Sam, to stop this happening to her. He glanced up at the doors again and what he saw made his heart leap, Sam was walking towards the doors, dressed. No one else had seen her yet, but she had seen him. She smiled shyly at him, "Thanks for the wake up call" she mouthed at him. He grinned and turned to look at Abi. She was sitting down next to her Granddad; Lynn was on the other side. All their mouths were taught lines, he strolled over to them casually, smiling. "Look over there" he told them. They all looked at the doors as they opened. Sam came out wearing a sheepish half-smile.

"Sorry if I scared you" she apologised. Abi came over and hugged her, she didn't hate her mum, she couldn't. And her mum didn't hate her, she hadn't tried to commit suicide, thank God. Maybe there was hope for them yet.

Sam didn't say anything to Phil as she left the hospital with her family but she did smile at him and that said more than she could have. 'We need to talk' was her message but he knew there were lots of things the needed to talk about. It didn't give him any false sort of hope. He knew that there could never be anything between them, but it looked like they could at least be friends.

Phil watched as Sam strolled into CID after her two months off. The trial had finished a week ago and Hugh had got sentenced to life imprisonment. Phil hadn't seen Sam since that night at the hospital except for when he had come over to see Abi. She had pretty much avoided him and he couldn't help wondering if she felt strange around him because he knew what had happened between her and Hugh. She waded through the desks to her own, smiling at people on the way but being cool and distant at the same time. Sam watched people, trying to gauge what they were thinking. She had sent a message through Gina that she didn't want anyone from Sunhill attending the trial and everyone had respected that. They hadn't seen what had happened in the courtroom and for that Sam was grateful. The cross-examination had been the worse part. The defence had picked over every single detail of her relationship with Hugh, where they went for their first date, the person who'd made the first move, when was the first time that they kissed and who had initiated it. They also asked when they first slept together and who initiated that. At that point the prosecution stepped in and asked what the relevance was, Sam was saved having to answer any other embarrassing questions. She had a feeling that it was partly her argument, when she'd blown up at the defence lawyers, saying that she wasn't the first woman to have misjudged a man's character and later be blamed for what had happened to her. She was the victim in all of this and if they were going to pick apart her life like the scavengers they were then could they please 'go live in the bloody jungle' as Sam had so eloquently put it. She felt better about it, as if she had gotten back some of the power Hugh had taken from her that night. She knew she'd never be the same, but she was getting better and she was determined that she would use this to make her a better person.

Sam was well aware of Phil staring at her, he hadn't taken his eyes off her all morning and she was slightly unnerved by the attention but, at the same time, she liked it. She could sense him getting up and walking over towards her. Her heart started beating in time with his footsteps, louder and louder as he got closer and closer. She jumped as he laid his hand on her shoulder and he withdrew it as if scalded. "Sorry" he apologised, looking miserable, he should have remembered that she was likely to be jumpy and not appreciative of being touched, however lightly.

"No, it's ok. You just startled me, that's all" Sam replied turning around to see him properly. Her knee lightly brushed his leg and he glanced down for a split second, she didn't seem to notice so he continued "I was wondering what you're doing tomorrow night?" he asked.

"Nothing, why?" Sam asked, as if she didn't know.

"I was thinking you and I, maybe Abi and Maddie could go to the Sky Show. It should be a good one this year."

"And you were just wondering if we could go together?" Sam asked, her hidden question being 'do you have any ulterior motives?'

"Yeah, just as mates, you know" Phil answered, reading her perfectly.

"I didn't think you were capable of having female friends" Sam told him flirting.

"Ah well, I guess you know me too well. Actually, I want to take you back to my place and unplug the phone" he joked.

Everyone within hearing distance looked up at this, how was Sam going to react to that? The old Sam would have just laughed it off and told Phil to get on with some work, he was obviously joking. But there was no guarantee Sam would see it like that this time, especially after what she'd been through. Sam was aware of everyone's eyes on her and she smiled and shook her head, "Don't you have work to be getting on with?" she asked turning back to her desk.

She could almost hear the collective release of breath as she continued typing up her notes.

Later Phil caught her again, this time in a more private area, a corner of the canteen. "I was serious about just as mates" he told her.

"So you're not going to make a move on me in the car then?" Sam asked grinning, tilting her head slightly as she remembered the dream she'd had in hospital.

"Well…not unless you give me permission to" he answered, only half kidding.

"Ok, then I think I feel safe enough not to go under the chaperoning eye of my daughter" Sam agreed. Phil smiled, that was the Sam he knew and loved.