Eleven
"The Kenta clan are mostly situated in the northern part of the Fire Country. We've received reports that they're scouting out further east, though," Yoshino said, drawing a map into the dirt with a stick as we rested for a short meal.
It was the end of the first week of travelling, and we hadn't seen a thing. Usually we were forbidden from going into the small villages littered throughout the Fire Country to ask the civilians questions, but this time it had been permitted. Either the civilians were lying or genuinely hadn't seen any mercenaries around.
The lack of progress in the mission was good, though. It gave me time to sort out my anger and frustration at Yoshino and redirect it towards something productive. I had a feeling he thought the same.
"Do you think they've left, then?" I asked.
He shook his head. "They're an odd mercenary clan, simply because of how powerful they are. They're not family. They don't owe loyalty, really. Whoever is the head of it is a genius, and has somehow found a way to keep and gain shinobi at a steady rate. Even when Tajima-sama went out and eradicated a great deal of them, they just gained them back. They've established power in the Fire Country. Leaving would weaken that power."
"Unless they were scared we would hunt them down."
"We've tried. They're difficult to find. Some of the Elders think that the Senju clan is aiding them, and that's why we haven't had any luck."
I didn't care about the Senju. Hashirama's small meeting with Madara was barely a worry to me. They weren't a worry.
It had been the Kenta clan who had killed Takeshi and Jin, not the Senju.
"I don't care about the Senju," I said, scuffing at the dirt map Yoshino drew. "Do you think they're aiding the Kenta clan?"
Yoshino smiled slightly. "I disagree. I think we would know if the Senju were aiding them. The obvious solution would be for them and the Senju to team up and eradicate us. Seeing as that hasn't happened, I doubt the Senju are aiding. However I highly doubt they would be outrightly attacking the Kenta clan, seeing as they're succeeding in wounding us."
"So they're just gonna wait and hopefully watch us die."
"No, what they're doing is far from waiting. The Senju still attack."
I tried to imagine bright eyed Hashirama attacking the Uchiha. It was impossible. But I could still smell the blood and the dirt from when all those injured shinobi had been lined up in the hallway, too many to fit into the healing room. There were no faces assigned to the victims or the perpetrators in that case, though. I didn't know any of those shinobi, nor any Senju except for Hashirama.
But I had known Takeshi and Jin. And I had seen them killed by the Kenta clan.
It was difficult to focus on two enemies at once, especially when I had never seen one in action before. I knew that the Senju were supposedly the ultimate enemy of the Uchiha clan, but they didn't feel like it at the moment.
"So how much did Tajima wipe out, then, when he disappeared for ages?" I asked.
Yoshino shrugged. "A lot, but he could never find the leader, which is I suppose why the clan has lasted so long. Usually the leader is obnoxious and loves to rub it in that they're in charge of a huge clan and have a lot of power, even though they weren't born with it."
"So if we found the leader..."
"Kiyomi." Yoshino gave me an exasperated look. "We won't find the leader. I can guarantee it."
"Okay, but, you can't because what if we do?"
"We won't. Their leader is clearly content to be in hiding."
But you could only hide for so long, I wanted to say. I wanted to change Yoshino's plan from simply scouting for information and clues for a base, and then killing if we met any. It would be better if we actively sought them out and raided the base. If there were no survivors, it would send a message to the leader, and make the entire clan think that the leader was weak for not being able to protect them.
Yoshino was adamant with the plan, though.
The second week was the same. We found evidence of a tiny camp, and when we spoke to the town nearby there had been shinobi passing through, wearing no distinct crest. I felt bare without the usual Uchiha crest on the side of my armour. It was necessary, though, because it was difficult to tell which towns were distrustful of which clans. Being unknown, even if it sometimes made the civilians more distrustful, was better than being a known enemy.
We ventured closer and closer to the border of the Land of Hot Water, which put Yoshino on edge.
"The forest is dense there. It's not our territory, either. It's no one's, which makes it even worse for disputes. The daimyo refuses to get involved with any shinobi affairs," he told me.
There was no distinct line that gave me any indication that there was a border, but Yoshino skirted a cliff every now and then, and then a stream the further we went along east.
"Surely they're there, then," I said during the beginning of the third week, as we camped in a cave. "If it's neutral, it makes sense for them to retreat."
Yoshino shook his head. "I don't think they've retreated."
"But Tajima hunted them down," I pressed. "Surely that's enough to send anyone into hiding."
"I don't think so. Maybe, but...I wouldn't count on it."
I wondered what Yoshino so certain about the Kenta clan's power. What his experiences with them were. Whether he had any siblings that had been killed by them.
It made me realise how little I actually knew about him, aside from his parents. Did he have friends his age? An arranged marriage on the table for him? I never saw him with anyone outside who I knew, except for the shinobi at Yoshino's party who he had claimed he didn't know that well.
His life seemed sad, and focused purely on being a shinobi.
"Did you—you seem to know a lot about them. Or you feel like you know them," I began, not sure how to word what I was going to say.
Yoshino frowned at me. There was only a small candle between us, and it casted shadows on his face that made him appear so much older.
"I know them as much as any active shinobi, I suppose," he said, shrugging.
"So you didn't—I don't know, I just thought maybe...you had a sibling and they were—I don't know."
Yoshino said nothing for a moment. I didn't know if I wanted him to have a sibling who was killed by the Kenta clan. Of course I didn't, but part of me wanted something to relate to him. He seemed untouchable and distant and part of another world, sometimes, and I wanted to drag him into my own.
"I did have a sibling," he said after awhile. "A younger sister. But no, she wasn't killed by the Kenta clan."
I swallowed, trying to force my expression to look normal and not intrusive.
He smiled at me. "It's okay. It was a long time ago. I don't mind talking about it. She was just really sick and we didn't have the resources. It was—she was only four."
"Were you close?"
"As close as we could be. I was only two years older, and by the time she could walk and talk...well, my father had begun to train me. I didn't see her a lot. But it was—she was amazing. Always so happy, which I could never understand."
I returned his smile, albeit shakily. "Happy people are weird. I always used to get confused when Jin was so carefree. But then it almost made it worse, because when he was serious you just knew things were bad. If even he couldn't pretend like everything was fine, then it was all over. Takeshi was different, though. He was almost neutral about everything. Maybe it wasn't him being neutral, though. Maybe it was apathy, or sadness, and I just couldn't see it."
"I met them both," Yoshino said softly. "I know what you mean."
It was strange, to talk about something so personal while hunting down another clan. Nothing seemed dangerous, here, in this cave. There was just a small candle and an uncomfortable ground to sleep on.
At the beginning of the mission, we had been arguing. Now, I was talking about Takeshi and Jin.
I couldn't remember the last time I had directly talked about either of them in a positive way. I didn't even know if I ever had, after their deaths.
The night was a comfortable one. I fell asleep straight away while Yoshino sat at the mouth of the cave, keeping watch. When he woke me up for my own shift, I didn't even feel the usual wave of exhaustion creep over me as I stared out towards nothing.
I was content.
It took a lot of effort to convince Yoshino to go into the Land of Hot Water.
"I know this is a different mission to just spying," Yoshino said, irritated. "It doesn't, however, mean we can just run around doing what we want. We need to be careful about this."
"We've done nothing. We've found nothing. I refuse to return empty handed."
"Don't be silly. We won't return empty handed," he promised.
We were standing on the edge of the cliff we had skirted many times in the past few days. There had been no sign of anyone in the Fire Country, and none of the civilians in the nearby towns had reported any shinobi. The only tangible piece of evidence of the Kenta clan was the camp we had found in the second week, and it had been close enough to the Land of Hot Water to warrant investigation, in my opinion.
Yoshino stood there for a moment longer, staring down at the dense cluster of trees.
"This is gonna get us killed," he mumbled, but I watched him begin to scale down the cliff, drawing chakra to his hands and feet as he effortlessly sped down.
It took me a little more time. The rocks crumbled beneath my hands, and even though I knew they would stick — and if my hands didn't, my feet would — but the lengthy distance to the ground made me wince.
Down at the bottom, I realised how dense the forest was. I had thought some of the forests and foliage in the Fire Country was intense, but this was completely different. It almost felt like when we entered, it would be pure darkness, the sun not able to reach to the ground through the leaves.
I took the lead when Yoshino continued to stand there. It was warmer here, too, whereas spring in the Fire Country was always nice and mild. Here, though, it was moist and humid. There was nothing but trees, with no variation in them, and the occasional plant that sprouted white flowers.
"Conceal your chakra," Yoshino ordered. "And whatever you do, obey my orders. Don't be an idiot."
Without him prompting me, I activated my Sharingan as well. I couldn't see any glimpses of anyone ahead, but that didn't mean anything. I knew the Kenta clan were dangerous.
After barely an hour of traveling slowly, sweat was beading my brow. It wasn't just the heat, but the stress. The anticipation. Here, it felt more real, despite there being no proof of any sign of the Kenta clan.
They'll appear, the voice whispered in my hand, making me almost fall in shock at hearing it.
I waited for more, for something else, but my mind was quiet.
When it was night, there were no caves to rest in. There was forest and more forest. Yoshino scaled a tree to try and find a clearing or anything, but he could see nothing except for mountains in the distance and the cliff behind us.
"I don't think we should stop," Yoshino said, his voice quiet. It seemed loud, anyway. There was only the occasional rustle from some animal in the foliage and a gush of a breeze. Other than that, the silence was deafening.
"Let's keep going, then."
It was the first night this entire mission I had spent without sleep. We scrambled through the forest, but Yoshino avoiding heading straight to the mountains. He veered left, and I could tell he was going in a circle to try and establish where the Kenta clan were, and if they were closer to the border.
My hand gripped my sword the entire night. Yoshino's head darted back and forth in calculated ways, his Sharingan gleaming in the night. Each thunk as our footsteps hit the trees echoed.
When Yoshino stopped in an instant, I almost slammed into his back. He grabbed my wrist, steadying me, staring straight ahead.
In the distance, I could recognise the familiar swirl of chakra coming from about ten people. I couldn't hear the voices, as they seemed to be too far away.
I didn't dare speak. It had to be the Kenta clan. Who else could it be? But they bore no recognisable symbol. Their only known trait was that they used poison. They didn't look alike.
It could be any group of people.
Yoshino turned around and headed back and I followed, until the swirls of chakra were no longer visible.
"We have to get closer," I said the moment we stopped.
He shook his head. "No. That would be stupid. We're outnumbered."
"You're strong. And I'm getting stronger. I can do this. I want to do this, Yoshino. I—we've found nothing this entire time. And this could be something. And we could stop them. They could be coming into the Fire Country, about to kill more Uchiha."
Yoshino closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. I wanted to shake him.
They were so close. And we had the element of surprise. It was easy. It would be easy.
Go. Ignore the pacifist. If he wants to stay, he can.
I took a deep breath. "I'm going. Whether you come or not, I don't care."
Yoshino stared at me. "Kiyomi, that's—"
"This is our mission. This is what we came for. Just because you have some stupid overprotective bullshit happening with me doesn't allow you to stop us completing this. You told me to speak to Tajima to get better missions. I did. And here we are. So let's go."
Silence.
"Do not get injured," Yoshino said, voice flat. "If they use poison, you'll be gone. We have no cure. I doubt they'll be carrying one."
He took the lead without bothering to say anything else, charging ahead.
This time, he didn't stop at a safe distance.
Go, go, go, go! the voice chanted in my head.
I watched as the ten blobs of chakra got closer and closer and I quickly deactivated my Sharingan. They appeared through the trees, huddled before jumping up, swords out instantly.
Yoshino didn't hesitate before a katon erupted from his mouth, charging straight at the group. They scattered, rolling effortlessly, and without any communication with each other, five went towards Yoshino and the other five hurried towards me.
One of their swords was vibrated as it swung at me — a raiton, I recalled, distantly — and every second of my time was spent focusing on dodging, refusing to let the sword even nick my skin.
But it was difficult. Whenever Yoshino and I trained, I would always get small cuts. It was too difficult to avoid any wounds, so often I would let him nick me to put myself in a better position to attack and win.
I couldn't do that, though.
My hands fumbled around a katon and it erupted from my mouth, separating a few of them.
Now! the voice screamed.
I charged at one of them, managing to slice a wound down his side before he took control, the other four swarming me. I couldn't see or hear Yoshino.
It was just me, surrounded by five shinobi who I didn't even know if they were the Kenta clan or not.
Destroy them! the voice roared.
I could activate my Sharingan. But it was a last resort. They most likely knew we were Uchiha — they had seen Yoshino's red eyes — but if they didn't know I had it, I could use that against them.
Channeling chakra to my feet, I scaled a tree, trying to gain some ground on them and avoid a doton that had been about to cage me into the ground. One of them followed, whereas the other four separated, going up different trees to try and cut me off at the top.
I dropped on top of the one who had scaled my tree, knocking into him. He fell to the ground, rolling unevenly into a crouch. My roll was way more uneven than his. The ground met my arm and a wave of pain erupted from it. Sprained. Maybe. I couldn't tell. It didn't matter, either way.
The other four were right in front of me and I hadn't even noticed. Five swords swung at me, and I couldn't afford all five. I rolled and decided to risk it — they might not be Kenta, they could be random, and even if they were one of them could have cure, it would be fine, it would be fine.
Angling myself closer to one of them so they would wound me on the side of my stomach, I swung my sword up and through his throat. It met the resistance of flesh and bone before sliding through.
It took a lot longer to slide out.
I yanked it and almost fell onto the dead shinobi's sword as I scrambled to get away from the shinobi approaching me, sword in hand.
Their faces were finally visible. It was dawn.
Move! the voice shrieked causing me to flinch.
The wound in my side was already burning, a clear sign of the poison Yoshino had warned me about.
They were the Kenta clan.
I could feel my entire body shutting down on me, my heart slowing until each beat was heavy and painful.
"Don't kill her yet!" someone barked as the shinobi crowded around me. Yoshino was gone. I couldn't see him.
My knees were on the ground. So was my sword.
I hadn't even noticed.
The shinobi who had barked the orders towered over me. He looked Yoshino's age.
"Do you know what happens if that wound remains untreated?" he asked me, his voice that faux casual that sounded ridiculous.
Death, the voice whispered.
When I didn't say anything, he grabbed my jaw, squeezing until I was worried the bone would snap.
"I asked you a question. I suppose you just think you don't have to respect people, being the great Tajima's daughter and all that."
I jolted, wondering how they could possibly know who I was, when I didn't have the Uchiha symbol on me anywhere. And every Uchiha looked the same. Had they been waiting? Had they known we were coming?
"Ask politely," I hissed. "Maybe then I'll answer."
He smiled, dropping his grip on my jaw. "You won't die. Not for awhile, at least. Maybe a day. Your heart will slow down, you'll struggle to breathe. Everything will be difficult. And painful, might I add. You won't be able to move. It'll take every effort to simple exist."
"So?" I hissed. "What, did you think I came out here to run around with the fairies?"
There were laughters from the three men that surrounded him.
We can destroy them all. We can do it. Just look at them, make them look at you, distract them, kill them!
I could barely move. I wanted to find Yoshino, to stumble away from the shinobi who I didn't even care about and find him. He couldn't be dead. He couldn't be.
Use it, the voice whispered. He's looking right into your eyes. He thinks you don't have it. He thinks you don't know how.
But I didn't know how. Yoshino had showed me how to copy jutsu, how to track people's movements and hand signs easily. Never how to cast a genjutsu that was so powerful it would destroy someone, though. Ryuu had talked about it, and so had Madara. It was possible.
There were four left, including the one gripping my jaw and forcing me to look at him. I could kill him. I could look into his eyes and do it. I had done it before. I killed the man who had murdered Jin. It was possible.
"Maybe we'll stay around for it," the man continued. "To watch the great Tajima-sama's daughter fall."
Do it, the voice snapped, disrupting my thoughts.
"My name is Kiyomi," I said, looking him in the eyes. I felt the familiar sting as I activated my Sharingan. The man's eyes widened and tried to look away from my face, but I had him.
I let my mind take over the rest. I thought of Jin dying, of Takeshi dying, of being in a car with a best friend and it crashing because of stupidity. Being reborn. My mother in this world dying. Every time Madara and Izuna had been injured. Every time Tajima had been injured.
There was so much pain and suffering. It was easy to push it all onto one person, and to relish in his screams. I didn't even have to kill him. He stabbed himself.
The adrenaline vanquished the pain. One man down. The other three were clamouring to kill me, now, not willing to wait that one day where it would be so hard for me to simply exist.
It was a lot easier to kill people when they couldn't look at your face. Their eyes were on my arms, my feet, but either way they could never see my entire body as they tried their best to not look in my eyes.
Two men down.
One of them looked in my eyes. Three men down.
Yes, yes, yes! the voice screamed in my head. The voice had risen in octave and loudness. It felt like someone was right next to my ear, screaming into it.
The last one flung his sword to the side and dropped to his knees. "Please!" he begged.
It was a disgusting sight. He had been laughing at me before.
"You can live," I told him, grabbing his chin and squeezing like the man had done. "You just have to give me the cure."
He stared at me. "I—"
"That wasn't a question. Give me the cure."
"It's not on me! We don't—it's not in a bottle or anything. It's a herb! I swear, you can find it around here. It grows in this place! If you just—I'll get it for you, I swear, if you just follow me! I promise!"
He was young. I could tell by the pitch, by the way it wobbled back and forth between high and low. Not just from fear. His eyes were brown. Hair blonde.
Who cares about how he looks!
"Now," I snapped. "Move."
I didn't have long before I would pass out from exhaustion. I could feel the adrenaline fading. But I couldn't limp. I couldn't wheeze and cough up blood.
My sword was pressed against his neck the entire time as he hurried through the thick trees, dropping to his knees beside a plant that had white flowers growing on it that Yoshino and I had seen a few times.
"Just the leaves," he said, snapping one off and handing it to me. "I swear."
He could be lying, the voice whispered. You shouldn't eat it.
But there was no choice. Yoshino didn't know the cure. If this idiotic young boy would lie to me, then everyone else in the Kenta clan would.
While still holding the sword to his neck, I bit into the leave, wincing at the bitter taste, until it was all gone. The boy stared at me with wide eyes, looking pathetic.
"I promise you, it'll work! Please, please. Just let me go."
I shoved the sword forward, watching as he stumbled, gurgling on his own blood before dropping to his knees. There were tears in his eyes.
"Y'know I begged for mercy to one of your own once. Not for me. But for my brother. And he didn't get any."
The adrenaline was gone. I deactivated my Sharingan and crumpled to the ground, doing my best to pull in my chakra and hide it as much as possible. The blood was still pouring from the boy's throat, yet he remained unmoving. He had also pissed himself.
I focused on the acidic smell of urine, forcing myself not to cry. I was feeling better. My wound wasn't burning as much anymore. I had survived.
Drifting off was never a good idea in unknown territory. It happened, anyway, and when I woke to someone shaking me, I couldn't even muster the energy to pull a kunai on them.
It didn't matter, though, because it was Yoshino.
"Kiyomi? Kiyomi. Fucking hell. You—I thought you were dead."
I tried to give him a smile.
His hands began to flutter around the wound on my side.
"Fuck," he said. "Fuck, Kiyomi, fuck."
I'd never seen him like this. I hadn't thought it was impossible for Yoshino to be flustered, for his emotions to be so obviously on display. When training, he had always been cool and collected, and everyone spoke about how he was on missions. Efficient and quick on his feet.
I grabbed his hand. "Stop. We need to go."
Yoshino shook his head in disbelief. "How are you not dead?"
"I'll take that as a compliment."
I didn't want to tell him. His eyes were wide as he took in the wound. I knew he was looking at the colour of my skin, waiting for it to go pale.
"It wasn't poisoned?" he asked, looking at me.
I shook my head. "Thankfully."
He continued to stare. "Are you sure? You have to be certain. You don't feel anything at all?"
"Yoshino, it wasn't poisoned. They stabbed me and I still managed to get to them. It's a pretty shallow wound, anyway."
There was still disbelief on his face. I didn't want to admit what I had done. It was survival, I knew, but Yoshino was so...idealistic. It felt weird.
And the fact that I didn't want to tell him made it feel even stranger. I cared for him, and I knew he cared for him. He probably knew I was lying. I could feel my eyes beginning to tear up as I struggled to figure out what to say.
"Kiyomi—"
"We need to move," I insisted, beginning to stand. I wobbled, grabbing onto Yoshino's shoulder.
He seemed fine. I didn't want to ask why he had left me. We had been separated. It had been strategic. They had known my name somehow. But part of me wanted to throw that back in his face and demand to know why he hadn't fought hard enough, or quickly enough. Why he allowed this to happen when he was supposedly one of the youngest and greatest shinobi of the Uchiha clan.
My chest ached from holding back tears. There was anger developing, too, as if my mind couldn't decide which emotion to pick and release because I had buried all of them while killing people. The voice was damningly silence, as if it wanted me to stew in my tumultuous emotions and decide for myself what to do.
Yoshino supported me the entire way back to the cliff we had scaled. Every movement to climb it was painful. The wound wasn't even that deep. It was exhaustion, from my body fighting off the poison. We found a cave, and by the time I fell to my knees near the entrance, the sun was fully up.
He stitched my wound up.
"Are you okay?" Yoshino asked.
I nodded, not trusting my voice to come out clear.
Before bandaging the wound tightly, he scrutinised it one last time.
"We need to go over a plan for what happens if we get separated like that again," Yoshino began, sitting back on his feet. "You can't just—I know it's not your fault, but you cannot just lie on the ground and take a nap."
"I wasn't taking a nap. I—I passed out. I used a lot of energy."
"I know, but you need to make some effort to move away from where you just killed people from a mercenary clan. But that's not the point. We need a point where we can meet back if anything happens. And then, for example, if you get back here and I don't come back for another two days, you return home."
I stared at him. "What? No. I'll look for you."
"No, you won't. You'll most likely end up dead. I don't mean because you're weak. But you'll be alone. The Uchiha clan rarely travel alone, unless you're specifically trained to infiltrate or assassinate."
"I can't just leave here knowing that you could be out there alive."
Yoshino shrugged. "If I am out there alive, I would probably be close to death anyway. Kiyomi, listen, this is how it goes. If the positions were reversed I—then I would have to leave, too."
I closed my eyes. Part of me wanted to scream at Yoshino to stop.
"This cave, then?" I forced myself to say.
"No. We're going home after you rest. I meant for next time."
I wanted to argue. There weren't enough Kenta dead. Only five. That's all I had managed. And we didn't even know anything for certain.
But that wasn't true. I knew a cure. I knew that somehow, they knew my name. Wasn't that something?
"Rest," Yoshino insisted. "Stop thinking. Just let yourself heal."
I nodded. Even though the ground was flat and uncomfortable and painful on my side, I closed my eyes and drifted off to the sound of Yoshino breathing.
The man lay on the ground, screaming endlessly. His arms and legs were sprawled out as if they were broken, his head twisted at an odd angle. Even the scream was guttural.
His scream blended into another one, this one more familiar. Jin. And then Takeshi's childlike scream, his face with his eyes ripped out staring at me, pleading with me.
The scene changed.
There was a tree before me. It looked normal, except for the odd fruit growing out of it that I had never seen before, and the black shadows that seemed to surround the tree. There was a stone, behind it, with words written on it that I couldn't recognise.
This wasn't real. I knew it. Everything felt distant and detached, as if there was someone else experiencing this. Not me.
The scene changed again.
I was on a road. The asphalt looked melted. The car in front of me was melted, oozing and blending in with the road. I walked closer, the guttural screams beginning to start up again and grow louder and louder.
There were two people in the car. Their bodies were melting into the seats, their faces covered in burns and cuts and blood, eyeballs bulging. There was a vivid smell of burnt flesh and hair.
A flash of pain hit me, like when you press your palm to a hot saucepan. But the flash didn't go away. It spread, deepening until it was radiating from inside me. There was pressure all around my chest, and when I looked down I was surrounded by crumpled metal, sharp bits digging into my ribs and I couldn't breathe from the smoke or the blood gurgling in my throat and someone else was beside me screaming, pleading, begging for mercy but there was no distinct killer I could see.
The metal crumped further around me until it pierced my entire body and I scrambled awake, my heart pounding in my chest. The cave was starting to get dark, and a candle flickered, Yoshino's face appearing above me.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
I touched my ribs and my throat. Normal, except for the bandage wrapped around my side. It was nothing.
"Fine. Just a nightmare," I said shortly, lying back down onto the uncomfortable ground and turning my back to him, willing the tears away.
There was no noise but his breathing for a moment. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
How could I possibly explain my nightmare when to Yoshino, when part of it made no sense? But there was a part that did make sense.
I didn't think I could ever forget my brothers' death. It seemed imprinted in my brain, like some fucked up tattoo.
"They killed Takeshi and Jin," I said, my voice hoarse, turning towards him.
It was as if that oppression of emotions when my brothers died was bubbling to the surface due to the nightmare, ready to erupt out of me at any possible moment.
Yoshino looked exhausted, his skin coated thickly in blood, sweat and dirt. I wanted to apologise for my behaviour, for insisting on this mission even though I had known it would hurt. It would hurt me. But I had wanted that. Somehow, I correlated that with strength. If I was hurt, I would grow. I would mend and improve and be better.
"Revenge won't solve anything," he told me, his voice quiet.
I know, I wanted to say. But did I? All I knew was the slaughtering this clan, making sure that none of them saw the light of day ever again made it so they would never kill anyone again. Even the five today, it had satisfied nothing. I didn't know them. I wanted the leader, laid out before me in glorious detail.
The young boy flashed through my mind instead. His begging. His face covered with tears. How he had given me the cure.
"You cannot take out a whole mercenary clan, Kiyomi." Yoshino's voice was gentle. "They aren't linked by blood. You leave one behind, twenty more will rise and come after you."
"I won't leave one behind."
"Kiyomi. We need to head back. It's a long journey. Today was—we need to go."
I didn't know if I had enough energy within me to make it back. This was the longest I had ever gone without seeing the compound. Nearly an entire month spent with only Yoshino, plunging through forest after forest, Yoshino recording things down in a scroll. All I had done was killed a few shinobi. Nothing remarkable. We hadn't even discovered anything that concrete about their whereabouts.
But —
The plant. I knew I should turn to Yoshino. That I should tell him.
In the dark, it seemed safer. His judgement was concealed.
"I did get poisoned," I said before I could stop myself. I heard him shift, but I rolled so I was on my back, eyes closed. "I did. But I—I managed to kill all of them surrounding me except one. This young boy. And I asked him for the cure. I said I'd kill him if he didn't give it to him and...well, he did obviously. But it didn't seem like enough. Him giving me the cure wasn't enough."
I stopped, not wanting to say the words He had to give me his life.
Yoshino's hand brushed mine, grabbing it and squeezing. "It doesn't matter."
"That wasn't your attitude before."
"I wasn't there, Kiyomi. I could never judge."
"You said that killing people just causes a cycle. I could've spared that boy. Maybe disrupted the cycle for a moment. I didn't, though. And I had the gall to tell Madara to have empathy when he went out and fought before. Even though I have none. I have no empathy. Or I do, but it's selective. And maybe that doesn't even count, then."
Yoshino shook his head. "It counts, Kiyomi. Whatever kindness you can afford, it counts. Trust me."
I turned away from him. I didn't want him to see me cry. But I knew he could hear it, still, hear my muffled gasps of breath as I struggled to keep the tears in. He didn't do anything. He just sat there, breathing and breathing.
The night was spent lying there. Neither of us talked about who was guarding and staying on watch. Maybe we both were. I stayed awake for most of the night, staring out of the mouth of the cave. I could see the Land of the Hot Water spread out below, though it just looked like a gaping pit of darkness.
When the sun rose, I got up. Yoshino remained on the ground, half dozing. I changed the bandage on my wound, pinching the skin around it. It looked normal. Not infected or poisoned in the slightest.
Without waiting for Yoshino's opinion, I scaled the cliff once more, hurrying into the forest, Sharingan activated. The plants with the white flowers were there, even on the edge of it, and I collected some of the leaves and tucked them into my kunai pouch.
Yoshino stood at the top of the cliff, staring down at me as I hurried back up. I showed him the leaves.
"This is what cured me. I don't know if they use the same poison for everything, but just in case. It would be good to have."
"Good thinking."
We started the journey back home in silence. It was a direct one. We didn't stop at any towns to ask if they had seen any mercenaries pass through. Our nights were spent restlessly, and I knew Yoshino was as eager as I was to return home.
Home.
Where the panic, the adrenaline, the constant feeling of being on edge, the constant vision of that young boy would be gone.
I knew the moment we were back in Uchiha territory when the tension in Yoshino's shoulders almost vanished completely. He was still tense, but there was a small smile on his lips as we hurried closer and closer to the compound.
The small building was heavily guarded as Yoshino and I approached. They bowed lowly at the sight of us, one of them stepping forward.
"Yoshino-san, Kiyomi-san," he greeted. "Tajima-sama requests a full report immediately."
"Of course." Yoshino's was tired, delivering the words without a second glance as we walked into the compound.
It was early, yet I had no doubt that Tajima had been woken up once the sensor-nin guarding the compound had realised we were coming. Yoshino led the way through the hallways.
Just as I suspected, Tajima was seated at his desk, yet no scrolls were in front of him. Instead, there was a tray of food containing breakfast, presumably served for us.
"Tajima-sama," Yoshino said, dropping to his knees at once. I stayed standing.
My father nodded, glancing briefly at me before he gestured towards the tray of food served. "Please, help yourself."
Both Yoshino and I sat across from him, though where as I piled as much food as I could fit into my bowl, Yoshino remained still, his hands resting on his lap.
"How was the mission?" Tajima asked, eyes flickering between us both.
"Quite informative. I've recorded everything in the scroll, as per usual, and Kiyomi will of course submit her own report of what happened over the past month." Yoshino handed him the scroll.
Tajima took it, eyes flickering over the information. "Anything of great importance that you wish to elaborate on?"
"One of the shinobi Kiyomi fought against revealed an antidote for a poison. It's from a plant in the Land of Hot Water. The leaves of a white flower. It eradicated the poison very quickly. We collected some, but perhaps it would be wise to figure out a way to create a lasting antidote from the plant, and to send shinobi to scout it."
I focused on the food. It was real food. Not dried shit. I didn't care what they were saying, anyway. I knew it all.
"They also knew Kiyomi's name. I'm not sure if that's cause for alarm or was simply just a guess from the Kenta, however I think it's important to consider all possibilities."
Tajima nodded, sealing the scroll. "Of course, of course. Thank you, Yoshino. You may leave us, considering Kiyomi has decided to settle and devour three days worth of food without saying anything."
I hid my scowl. Yoshino nodded and bowed, touching me gently on the shoulder before leaving.
"Is there anything you would like to add, when you've decided to take a proper breath between each mouthful?"
I swallowed audibly. "I think Yoshino said it all."
Tajima smiled. "Of course. Well, then, at least give me your opinion. Was this mission what you wanted? What you were hoping for?"
My chopsticks clattered against the bowl. What had I hoped for?
Revenge, maybe. But how could you quantify revenge? Was it an amount of dead bodies? Was it the amount of satisfaction I felt afterwards?
There had been little satisfaction. Just relief at being alive. And anger at not being strong enough.
"It was a start," I said eventually. "It was a beginning. A place to go from."
"You wish to keep going, then?"
I shrugged. "It feels...maybe it's too late to stop, even if I wanted to."
Tajima shook his head. His hands were still folded in his lap, but they twitched, as if he wanted to reach over and grab my hand. "It's never too late. You can always stop. You have that choice."
"Not everyone has that choice, though. And if not everyone has that choice, then I shouldn't have it, either. I don't want to stop, anyway. It doesn't matter. I'm going to keep going. But I—this time, I think I would appreciate a break."
"You deserve a break, Kiyomi," Tajima said, his tone difficult to discern. "Go. Rest. Greet your brothers and friends. I know they've missed you."
And you, I wanted to say. Had he missed me?
But as I stood up to go, Tajima's eyes weren't even on me. His hands were no longer twitching in his lap. He wasn't even reading Yoshino and I's mission scroll. He had pulled up some other scrolls that had been hidden, and was reading them intently.
I didn't slam the door as I left, even though I wanted to. It wouldn't solve anything, anyway.
A/N: didn't think I'd get this out in time buuuuut I did! Somehow!
As always, thank you so much for your reviews/follows/faves! I really appreciate it, and I'm always keen to hear what people think whether it's through here or my tumblr. I hope you're all doing well and enjoying winter/summer wherever you are in the world!
