If anyone has ever seen this video they will understand why I chose the title.

Chapter 8 – My Blue Angel - 2002

The gray wolf raced over the fields. His wolf being single-minded of purpose. He must find her. The cubs needed her. Over fields, pastures and through forests he hunted. If his friends were here, they would have helped him. He howled at the moon in sorrow for them.

The full moon brightened the landscape as he ran. But he hunted uncaring of the world around him. Hours passed and at last he stopped. One last howl and he collapsed in sorrow.

The early pink dawn revealed a man, naked, curled in a tight ball. A tall blonde man approached him, tossed a warm soft cloak over him and sat down, his eyes closing to wait. Hours later his eyes opened as the man next to him stirred.

"You have to stop this, Remus. Teddy is getting scared and Aurora needs you."

Remus looked at his wife's cousin. "My children need me as a man. You try to convince the wolf not to hunt, Draco."

Remus looked into the haunted eyes of his former student. Hermione's death changed him, but it was the battle at Hogwarts that changed Lucius' ways. He invited the Lupins to live on his property and reinstated Andromeda's inheritance, giving her what was left, and it was quite a bit, of Narcissa's dowry. The Lupins had accepted his offer; Remus wasn't permitted to work and Nymphadora (Dora) was pregnant and hadn't been able to work. Draco ignored and avoided the newly born Teddy until Leilani was found, then he began to look after both children. Leilani was fascinated with the baby and his constantly changing hair. Dora became pregnant again and when Aurora was born, a golden-eyed princess with midnight hair, Draco enjoyed watching them and his sister interact.

Remus noticed the bag of clothing he brought and Draco closed his eyes in weariness as the man dressed. Remus spoke as he finished, "How long have you been looking for me?"

"Since the moon set around three this morning. Leilani and the house elves are with the kids."

Remus put his head in his hands. Someone else minding his cubs; yet another reminder that she was gone forever.

Aurora was a year old when Dora returned to work. Remus was subject to the foul laws against werewolves, and Dora refused to take Lucius' charity. For three months everything was fine, then Rosier and Rookwood escaped from Azkaban. Alistair Moody, Dora, Harry and Ron began tracking them. When they finally caught up with them, Dora took off after Rosier by herself and Harry raced after her. When Ron and Moody found them, Rosier was aiming his wand at an unconscious Harry. After stunning the Death Eater, the two men searched for Dora; finding her hit by so many hexes she was unrecognizable.

She survived in the critical curse ward for a fortnight, long enough to say goodbye to her husband. Because of the physical damage, strong glamours were placed on her so that she could see her children.

He held her the night she died. She had been lying on the bed while he read to her from the chair provided him. He looked up when she said his name. Re-Remus? Hold me, I'm so cold. I need you."

He lay down next to her and wrapped his arms around her shivering body. "I love you, Dora. You know that right?"

"Yes. It's getting dark." He looked around the brightly lit room and tightened his hold. But he felt the life slowly slipping away from her. "Dora? Dora?"

"I love you, Remus," she whispered. And then she was gone.

Never enough time. Remus shook with tears until Draco placed his hand on his shoulder. "Let me take you home, cousin, please."

Remus looked up at Draco, realizing how much the young man had changed. Draco saw his cousin's husband as family; he had laid down generations of pureblood prejudice and accepted the werewolf. He struggled to walk on his own until Draco reached around him, supporting his weight, saying, "Remus, you have family. Let us help."

He nodded, letting Draco support him as they walked to the cottage. Remus looked at the small tree Dora planted just before she was killed. It was a cherry, her favorite. He wondered if he would ever be able to eat one again. The knot in his stomach grew to massive proportions, and it was all he could do not to collapse as he walked to the house.

The knot continued to intensify as tears threatened to slip out of his eyes. He was walking to the home that he and Dora had made for their family. This was the home that had been safe and comfortable; now to him, it was a purgatory filled with memories of a happy life. For a moment his inner voice tried to tell him his children lived; then it was silenced by a wolf snarl, his inner wolf reminding him, against Remus' will, that his mate was gone and his children only had a werewolf to rely on. His eyes stung as he remembered her laughing as she hung her Muggle posters and his paintings. Lancing pain continued to hit him as he walked through the brightly decorated rooms. It was cheery and happy, and all he wanted to do was weep. Weep for the life he hadn't been able to give her due to stupid laws. It was killing Remus to be in this place.

Lucius was seated, his head behind his Daily Prophet while Leilani played with Teddy and Aurora. They glanced up as Draco all but carried Remus up the stairs.

He collapsed on the bed as Draco called a house elf. "Get a bath drawn. Add healing potions and bring Wolfsbane potion."

"Warti will get," he said as he popped out.

"For the sake of my dignity, I will do the rest myself."

Draco nodded. "Yes well, I will assist you in getting up and please, Remus, take the healing potions."

Remus nodded as Draco helped him rise and he watched as the older man started for the bathroom. "Remus." Draco warned as he raised his brow at the potions. Remus turned and upended the potion into his mouth, Draco nodded chuckling at the face he made, "It's not Wolfsbane, Remus, it can't be that bad."

"I hate fake watermelon flavoring. That's disgusting!"

Draco left him, and he stripped and settled into the healing waters. His body was fit and scarred. Dora had liked it. He jerked as tears slipped down his cheeks. No more self-pity, he thought. He knew he needed to do better.

He closed his eyes. It was amazing to have a family. His parents had always loved him but at the same time feared what he could do. It had been a source of pain to him that they never lived to see the control of Wolfsbane potion. That same reticence was evident in the beginning of the Lupin's stay at the Malfoys.

It was Leilani who changed all that. With the curiosity of an eight year old she followed him one full moon.

The Wolfsbane kept him from hunting her but she watched him transform. Her silver eyes glowed with fascination and she showed no fear. The wolf howled to hunt her, but his human mind overcame the urge. The next morning, after a frantic search, Draco found them; the little girl fast asleep, in a tree, a few feet from the big bad wolf.

Remus panicked. The Malfoys were upset to say the least. Draco shouted at his father about 'that monster running loose' and then quietly suggesting a leash. His father snapped that Remus was a man not a monster, until Remus disagreed. 'I am a monster. Draco is right, I should leave.'

A blonde explosion charged her brother, interrupting the conversation. A kick and a hard slap and Draco yelped, glaring at the rage-filled child.

'He not monster! He takes medicine and get better! He not hurt me! She monster!' she said pointing to the only picture of Narcissa in the manor; the one that Abraxas Malfoy permanently charmed to the wall.

'Oh little one, I am a monster' Remus looked at the child as she stomped to him and climbed into his lap, saying 'Not monster, you are cousin.'

The fierce look she gave her father and brother said it all. She knew real monsters. People who reveled in hurting her and others. People who hid behind masks of beauty and culture.

Remus' musings ended as he rose from the bath. He dressed and went downstairs. He sat down in his old Muggle easy chair and closed his eyes. He opened them again when a weight was set in his lap. Aurora cuddled herself in her father's lap as Teddy climbed into his lap. Leilani patted Aurora on the head and skipped out of the room.

Warti arrived with a large breakfast tray. Aurora insisted on 'gibbin Da betfest'. Teddy helped and Remus, too tired and sad to fight, just let them. When he finished the tray vanished and the three of them just sat listening to the birds outside the open window.

Draco returned after his breakfast and found them sitting there. Leilani was coloring and she looked up smiling. Draco winked at her and said, "Remus?" The man's eyes opened and Draco continued, "Father was hoping that you would have lunch with us."

"All of us?"

"Leilani, Teddy and Aurora will eat in the nursery, a pizza party, Tizzy called it." Tizzy was an elf that had served Muggleborns after the war. "We will be having lunch with Severus and Father wants you to stay in the greenhouse tonight." Remus objected. Sometimes even with Wolfsbane potion he would do damage. Draco put his hand up at the first sign of refusal, "We have a strong dose of Calming draught."

"Calming draught doesn't work with Wolfsbane potion."

Draco sighed, a miserable, deep sigh, ripped from his chest. Remus could hear the tears threatening to choke his voice. "Did- did you know that Hermione had already chosen her seventh year term paper? That she," another of those shuddering sighs controlled his tears, "she chose to find a way to make Wolfsbane work with Calming draught? From the fourth year she was doing research. I found an old journal of hers. It chronicled her research and lab work on merging the two potions." Remus watched as the young man's head bowed and his shoulders shook with his tears. Sometimes Remus thought that he saved it all for moments like these when his wife wasn't around. Remus knew she couldn't cope with these reminders of Hermione. Draco cared for her, not as much as he loved Hermione but she was a good wife and he respected her.

Remus started. Draco was speaking again. "After I found the journal, I gave it to Bill Weasley. His wife Fleur earned top laurels at a French potions academy, so she worked with it. About six months ago a family arrived at the Weasleys. They had all been bitten, even their six month old daughter. The father of this family saw the journal notes and offered to their jenny pig-"

"Guinea pig, Draco."

"Right. The first couple of attempts were bad, but after the third try it worked. It seems the baby barely responds to regular Wolfsbane, but she is doing really well with the combination." Draco released another sigh; "Hermione would have gotten into every potions journal in the wizarding world if she had finished."

Remus agreed to meet them for lunch. The children looked forward to visiting the large manor. They didn't go there often, it was too easy to get lost, Dora had jokingly said. Oh, it was a joke until it took two hours to find Teddy one day. After that Dora insisted a house elf stay with the kids at all times.

When they arrived, both children ran to Severus Snape with a cry of 'Uncle Sev' and attacked him, nearly knocking the cold man onto the floor. Remus and Draco retrieved the two while Snape brushed of his gray robes. Most would have been surprised at the color, but the Malfoy men were grateful for Leilani's sake; the color black still frightened her.

They enjoyed a peaceful lunch after the kids stopped explaining everything in the world to Snape and were taken away to the nursery. The conversation was relaxing and Remus was starting to feel better emotionally when Aurora ran to him sobbing, "I want Mum, I want Mum." He winced and held her as she sobbed. Leilani came in followed by Teddy.

"I'm sorry, Cousin Remus. We were watching Mr. Weasley's special remembral projection of The Dragon and the Princess and we came to the part about the shieldmaiden and Aurora was scared."

"It's all right. I'll keep her for now, you two finish your projection." He settled his daughter as the other two ran to the nursery. "I'm sorry Severus, please continue."

"I came today," Snape said. "for two reasons. As you know I have been instated as the new Headmaster," the adults nodded and he continued. "I will no longer be teaching, which will of course delight and thrill all the children of the land. So the position of Defense against the Dark Arts teacher is open. I'm offering it to you, Remus. the year you taught was the best class we had."

"And what will the parents say? I am a werewolf."

Snape smiled. A real, honest, happy smile, it always surprised people. "Minster Shacklebolt, after the ousting of Scrimgoeger and his crew, repealed Umbridge's bill and quite a few like it. However, in order to do that, he had to make a deal, an agreement, with the conservative wing. Any werewolf willing to take Wolfsbane potion can work. They are given a year-long trial period. How much leniency they are given for their condition is up to their employers. It was the best Shacklebolt could do and with all the prejudices against them- well let's just use a Muggle term- it's a bunch of crap. Well Hogwarts is paving the way. Part of the law states that werewolves receive two thirds pay, the other third goes to any damage that is caused by them. That's on paper, and only on paper. You will receive full pay and chambers at the school to transform. I also have two registered Animagi who are willing to accompany you in the greenhouse during the warm months. You're a brilliant teacher, Remus. I want you there. If there is a concern about your classes, Potter has offered to cover for you during your recuperation times."

"Remus, Teddy and Aurora would be safe from any of the people Dora put in Azkaban and you wouldn't feel dependant. I know you feel beholden to me for the 'charity' of the cottage."

Remus looked at Lucius, a little ashamed at what appeared to be ungrateful behavior, but he felt useless. Now here was a way to stop that feeling. Aside from his marriage, his years at Hogwarts were the best of his life. He thought of his children in new surroundings without the constant reminder of their mother. He didn't want them to forget her, but the pain wasn't easing, and at Hogwarts they would have wonderful memories without the continuous reminder of loss.

"I need to think." Snape nodded at his words. " I'll need to know by the beginning of August." Remus acknowledged his statement with a nod and carried a sleeping Aurora upstairs. He played with his son till nightfall.

He went to the greenhouse and stripped. He lay down under his cloak and swallowed the potions. He gagged over the flavor and closed his eyes.

The transformation was less painful. He closed his eyes as the wolf took over.

But this time it was different. His mind relaxed and he slept.

For the first time in his transformed state he dreamed. His human side chased their mate. He caught her and laughing they made love under the noonday sun. He was happy.

Then she rose and looked at him. "Remus, look at the castle. Isn't it beautiful? Take the job my love. Teach. You were always happiest teaching." She walked away. Looking back she said, with a sad smile, "Please live again, Beloved. You can't mourn me forever. Stop looking for me; our children need you." The dream melted away slowly and Remus slept dreamlessly the rest of the night.

Remus awakened the next morning, rested and in little pain. He thought about his dream. He could still smell her perfume, feel her soft skin, hear her merry voice. He thought of her words and he cried as he had when James and Lily died and when Sirius died. You were happiest when teaching, that's what she said.

"Then I'll teach." And he got up to face the day.

Looking for my blue angel
The same one that flew from my arms last night
If you see my blue angel
Tell her that heaven without her feels like hell tonight

Aaron Tippin