As always, a big THANK YOU for the reviews, alerts, and favorites! :D


Cami carefully opened the care package she had received that morning from Cruz. It held several small boxes of chocolate, some books, and four bottles of whisky. For the first time that day, the ghost of a smile touched her lips. It was just like him to include extra bottles of alcohol. There was also a perfectly sealed package marked "Perishables". Cami eyed it warily. She knew it was the haggis that she was going to share with Carson. She was about to push the box away when she noticed that Cruz had also included a note.

Cami,

Enjoy the haggis! I still can't believe you love that stuff. Tastes like ass to me. I can already hear Dad saying, "Aye, but in the right hands, it can taste like a mighty fine ass". Crazy dad and all the crazy things he used to say.

Anyway, Carson sounds like a great guy! I'd really like to meet him one of these days. I'm glad to hear he's made your time in Atlantis easier. I included an extra bottle of whisky just for him as a gift for taking care of my little sister.

She stopped reading after that, folding the note and throwing it back in the box. Letting out a tired sigh, she rubbed her hands over her face. It had been an extremely long day. She placed the care package on the floor next to her bed, making a mental note to throw away the box of frozen haggis the next time she left her room.

It seemed that no matter what she did, her mind kept reverting back to Carson. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. Dwelling on his death would only do more harm than good, and so she forced herself to push it aside. There was a chime at her door, and she walked over to the door, running her hand along the sensor for it to open.

"Ronon?"

The tall man walked into the room. She looked at him curiously, waiting for him to say something. He stood off to the side, and then finally leaned against her desk, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Can I help you with something?" she asked, prodding him to explain his visit.

"I came to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine." When he didn't move, she asked, "Uh…yourself?"

He shrugged, pulling out the desk chair and straddling it. He leaned forward, arms resting on the backrest. She waited for him to say something, but he just continued sitting there, his eyes following her as she tidied up around her room.

She frowned at him, moving to sit on the bed and grabbing a book from her nightstand. Cami could feel his gaze on her, and she decided that two could play at the silent game. There was a reason he was there - a reason she was sure had to do with Carson. But as long as he didn't bring it up, then she wouldn't either.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him glance around the room. It was pretty sparse, especially compared to his. She hadn't really taken the time to decorate. Other than the picture frames on her desk and the books lining one side of the room, there was nothing really personal about it.

Ronon twisted around in his seat, grabbing one of the picture frames off her desk. Cami kept her eyes on her book, though what she was reading, she really didn't know. She must have read the same sentence about twenty times already. Her mind was just somewhere else.

"This is your twin brother?" Ronon asked skeptically.

Her eyes darted up just long enough to take a quick glimpse of the picture he held before moving back down to the book. It was a photograph her father had taken at their high school graduation. She and Cruz were all smiles, clad in their caps and gowns, arms around each other's shoulders.

"Yeah, that's Cruz."

He grunted. "You guys look nothing alike."

"So I've been told," Cami sighed. She closed her book in annoyance, shifting in her bed to look over at him. "Why are you here, Ronon?"

He took his sweet time answering. He grabbed another picture. This time, it was one of all three of her brothers. It was a candid picture that she had taken herself, showing them outside at a family barbecue.

"You were friends with Beckett," Ronon finally said, eyeing both pictures as if memorizing them before setting them back down.

"Yeah, so?" She picked up her book again, practically ripping it open. Cami closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. She was not in the mood for this conversation. She had already done the mandatory session with Dr. Heightmeyer. Putting the book on her nightstand, she sat up a little straighter in bed. "Look, Ronon, I think I know why you're here. You don't have to worry about me. I've lost someone close before. It's no big deal. That's life, and you move on."

"McKay isn't taking it too well. Seems to think it's his fault Beckett died."

Cami felt a stab of guilt in her heart before reminding herself to stop thinking about it. "Yeah, well, that's McKay, not me." She stood up, making her way to the door and running her hand over the sensor so it could open again. "I'm fine, Ronon. Seriously. You can go tell Sheppard and Teyla to stop checking up on me. I'm not a child; I understand that death is a part of life."

She took another deep breath, realizing that she had spoken a little too sharply. But the fact of the matter was that she was tired of everyone asking her how she was doing. Yes, she had been friends with Carson. Yes, she felt guilty for his death. And, yes, she was having a hard time accepting it. But the past was the past and there was nothing she could do but move on.

"If there's nothing else…" She motioned to the door.

Ronon's gaze darkened as he watched her. She knew that he didn't believe her, but she didn't care. At the moment, all she wanted was to be left alone. After a few minutes of silence, where he continued staring at her and she continued averting his gaze, he finally stood up and took his leave. Cami locked the door behind him and then leaned her hands and face against it, the cold metal cooling her skin.

She let out a tired sigh. The following day was Carson's funeral. It was going to be a trying day, but she needed to have her game face on. She couldn't afford to lose her composure, not when she had been doing so well.

Cami pushed away from the door. There was only one place she knew of that would keep her mind off of everything. She pulled on her boots, grabbed her jacket and practically ran out the room. She was going to the firing range.


She had played the part well. Her long hair had been pulled back into a low bun, not a strand out of place like they usually were. Dress blues crisp and perfectly pressed. Face stoic. All in all, she presented a professional appearance. The soldier doing her duty.

But, back in her room, her façade faltered. A quick wash of her face revealed the dark circles under her eyes. She unraveled her bun, running her fingers through her hair as it cascaded down her back. Walking out of her bathroom, she began unbuttoning her uniform jacket when there was a chime at the door. She frowned, wondering who would be visiting her at such a late hour. The door opened to reveal Ronon.

"Let's go spar," he said, leaning against the doorway so that the door would remain open.

"What, now? Seriously?" She threw her jacket on the bed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Why not? It's late. The rooms should be empty."

"I'm exhausted, Ronon. All I want to do is just lay down and sle – "

"When was the last time you slept? I mean really slept?"

Cami rubbed the back of her neck. "I don't know…"

"Then let's go spar. Beats tossing around in bed waiting for sleep to come."

"It's been a long day," she protested, irritated that he was being so insistent. He had been at the funeral, too. He knew how hard the day had been, meeting with Carson's family, seeing them grieve.

"Fine," he said.

In two long strides, he reached her. Before she even had a chance to ask him what the hell he was doing, she was already being flung over his shoulder. He turned around, her head narrowly missing the wall as he strode out the room.

"Wait! Ronon, hold on, I'll go with you...just put me down." Thankfully, no one was out in the hallway because Cami knew she made for a ridiculous sight. Ronon seemed to be debating whether he could believe her or not. "I need to change. I can't spar like this."

He nodded, acknowledging that she had a point and set her down gently. She changed quickly in her bathroom while Ronon waited in her room - he probably thought she was going to lock him out of her room the second she entered - and then followed him to one of the gyms.

They started off slow, going through some basic defense postures. Cami followed along almost mechanically. She had no desire to be sparring; she had only gone along with it to get Ronon off her back.

Little by little, Ronon kept increasing his speed. Cami had to actually focus on what she was doing to keep up with him. He blocked one of her punches, grabbing her arm and twisting it so that she kneeled in defeat. She let out a low grunt, glaring up at him as he continued to hold her down.

"I think you've made your point," she hissed. "I suck at hand to hand. Can I go back to my room now?"

"Not until I get a good fight out of you."

He released her, pushing her away so that she stumbled backwards a few steps. She scowled at him, getting angry at his unnecessary roughness. But he just stood there pretending like nothing had happened. She striked again, her leg lashing out in a low kick. He grabbed it, then swiftly reached down to sweep her other leg from under her. She fell hard on her back, the wind knocked out from her stomach.

"Fuck," she managed to groan.

She rolled onto all fours, trying hard to catch her breath. What the hell was he playing at? The anger surged through her veins as she stood up again. A few wisps of hair had escaped her ponytail, but she blew them away absentmindedly as her eyes focused on Ronon.

Cami ran at him, letting the anger take control. She attempted to tackle him, only to have him sidestep her, then trip her as she rushed past him. His nicely timed moved sent her flying across the room. She landed painfully, the momentum causing her to roll over a few times until she finally came to a stop.

"I'm done," she groused, picking herself up from the floor. "I don't want to spar anymore."

He stood in front of the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, but Cami was not in the mood to humor him anymore. He'd had his fun, showing her up on his stupid perfect moves. She didn't know why he even bothered to invite her to spar, and, at the moment, she didn't care to know. But, apparently, Ronon was not done with her. He grabbed her arm as she brushed past him.

"Stop being an ass," she said. The humor that's usually in her voice when she curses is gone. In its place is irritation as her temper flares up again. "I told you I don't want to spar anymore."

Cami tried yanking her arm from his grip, but he wasn't letting go. She narrowed her eyes at him, showing him that she was not amused, but all she gets in response is a raised eyebrow. He seemed to be challenging her again with his eyes. She made an attempt to leave again, but Ronon pulled her forcefully so that her body slammed into his. He held both arms behind her back, forcing her against him so that she couldn't move.

"Stop it!" she demanded. "Let me go!"

She struggled against him but just like before, the more she fought, the tighter he held on to her. Their bodies are pressed tightly together. Cami could smell that leathery musk of his, feel his muscles contracting in his arms and chest every time she tries pulling away.

"Stop!" she said again, only her anger is slowly being replaced by something else. "Stop…I can't…"

"Can't what?"

She shakes her head, blinking back tears. "I can't do this anymore," she whispers. She struggled against him once again, attempting to leave so that he won't see her cry, but he maintains his tight grip on her. "I can't…fight anymore."

And then the tears come, leaving hot trails down her cheeks. She's vaguely aware that he's let go of her arms, and she reaches up to his chest, bunching up his shirt in her fists as small sobs begin to escape her lips.

Ronon puts his arms around her, offering his strength, and she gladly takes it. The sparring, the anger, the crying has left her drained. The sobs turn into hiccups, and the tears are gone as fast as they started. Suddenly, she feels exhausted, but she doesn't move. She feels safe in Ronon's arms…like the world could collapse around them but absolutely nothing would happen to her. She inhales his scent again, his warmth engulfing her and making her sleepy.

Cami doesn't know how long they stood there. Ronon makes no attempt to leave, and she doesn't either, perfectly content to just remain in his arms forever. She lets out a small sigh against his chest…

And there, in the smallest recesses of her mind, is the thought that maybe someone else on Atlantis cares about her, too.