"This meeting of the Uzumaki Clan will now come to order, on the third day of July thirty-two hours past the half day mark, and sixteen minutes to the sixth ramen lunch. We are currently stationed at our temporary meeting area behind the almighty Kirigakure ramen stand, positioned around the sixty-two year old stump. The two members to call this meeting were Hinata and Sasuke Uzumaki, who joined- Ack!" Naruto coughed, rubbing his hand over his now sore neck, which had already started to turn red. He looked suspiciously between each member of his clan, trying to figure out who had attacked him. He was met by innocent smiles all around, though he thought for sure that he saw Hinata smirking a bit. The stupid Teme has corrupted her. He sent one more frown in their direction before continuing,
"The presiding secretary, Sakura Uzumaki, will now read the minutes of the last meeting. Lady Sakura, if you would ple-"
"Can it Dobe."
Naruto glared murderously at Sasuke where he sat, smirking and looking at him with that "I know I'm better than you" look on his face. Naruto was about to go teach the jerk a lesson, but decided in the end it would be best to just complain to himself.
He mumbled quietly about how he was trying to impress Haku, and how things like this would be the difference in whether he joined or left. Then he murmured about how the stupid Teme has corrupted poor Hinata. The only words the other Uzumaki's heard, however, were "ramen", "Teme", and "corruption". Hinata heard a small voice in her head telling her that Naruto was praying to the ramen god yet again.
They were all gathered around a stump they had found behind the ramen stand, after Hinata and Sasuke had called an emergency clan meeting. Haku sat awkwardly between Sasuke and Hinata, looking a bit unsure of the proceedings occuring around him. Naruto was currently crossing his arms and glaring at Sasuke, since he had failed the attempt to impress their potentially new member. Sakura was also upset, for once the meeting had been finally happening like it was supposed to and it was being ruined by stupidity. She too glared furiously at Sasuke, Hinata, and Naruto for being stupid before turning back to listen.
They had all been briefed on what the meeting was about, Haku's current living conditions, and Hinata and Sasuke's opinion on the matter. Sakura herself already knew they would let the boy into the clan, she just happened to like it better when they did things officially. Which they never did.
She usually paid attention during these meetings, making sure Naruto didn't do anything they would all come to regret. She really wasn't sure why they had made him leader, but it had worked so far, and she wasn't willing to upset the balance. Not to mention Naruto's people skills had gotten them pretty far.
Her clanmates quickly dropped the formal regulations and resorted to petty bickering. She just shook her head in disappointment. Her clan really were just a bunch of kids sometimes, they were lucky they had her to keep them straight. She decided to think about what they would do when they got back.
Haku could either live in one of the houses by himself, or he could join the boys in their house. They had plenty of funds available, so buying him a futon and other necessities was no problem. She wasn't sure if he would be able to get into the academy so late, and she was pretty confident there was a rule against bringing unregistered people into Konoha. Not that she considered that an actual concern, Naruto would get the Hokage to agree; he always did.
There was another problem though. She wasn't convinced that Haku would be comfortable living with them. He seemed like the quiet, calm, and gentle type. She didn't know if someone like that could survive living in close proximity with the chaos that was the Uzumaki clan. Of course they had Hinata, but she had quickly turned out to be a lot different than what they had expected. She had pulled almost as many pranks as Naruto, and he was currently holding second place in the Pranks Records, right behind a duo named Kushina and Minato. Why they had a book to record pranks, she would never know. It was Konoha, it was to be expected.
"At least I can do a simple bunshin jutsu Dobe."
"Hey! You know I could make twenty times the amount that you can, if I could get the doing it part down!"
This was how most of their meetings went. Naruto and someone, generally Sasuke, would get in an argument. The others would carry on with the meeting, and try get the work done. Why can't we actually get something done for once? She shook her head again, these meetings always turned her day upside down.
"That's enough!" she shouted, slamming her fist down onto the hardwood in front of her. All talking immediately ceased.
"Now isn't this better?" she asked, smiling dangerously at them all. Three heads hastily nodded in time with each other.
Sakura narrowed her eyes at them, knowing the temporary reprieve was just that: temporary. She smiled once again, thinking about how she could deal with their annoyances later.
"Now, Haku, you are welcome to become a member of our clan any time you choose. I have to warn you though, everything that went on here is a picnic compared to our everyday life."
Haku himself had been slowly edging away from the circle for a little while now, and was a good three feet away by the time her stare froze him.
Leave it to us to make a first impression like this.
Haku's face was the perfect picture of skepticism. Sakura had to admit, he looked a lot less intimidated than she had anticipated. He was in a position that he could get up and run at any time, and he was looking warily at the three children staring at him. All in all, a lot better than any of their classmates had been when they got caught in the middle of their little "campfires".
"I'll have to think it over," he said finally, releasing his held breath. Sakura also breathed out in relief. It hadn't been an automatic no, like she'd been expecting. Haku glanced nervously between them all before he mumbled something quietly, ducking his head.
"What's that, eh?" Naruto asked, leaning as far forward as he could without falling. Nope, nevermind, Sakura thought, watching him face plant onto the ground.
"I was hoping if," Haku stuttered out, "If I could… Umm… ask you all if-"
"Ouch!" Naruto yelled, getting up and rubbing his head. Sakura glomped him in the exact spot.
"Please continue, Haku," she said sweetly.
"Well… I was wondering if you were willing to… If you were willing to accept someone else as well." Hinata smiled warmly.
"We're willing to let anyone join, as long as they don't kill people for sport," she said jokingly. Haku looked a bit put out by this, though Sakura was willing to let it slide for now. If he turns out to be a homicidal maniac, we can just kill him.
"What's his name?" she asked, wondering if it was anyone she had met so far. She'd seen more than a couple other homeless children running around, and wondered if she would recognize his friend from any of them. That was, if he described the person in such a detail that he didn't resemble every other dirt covered child on the street.
"His name is Zabuza Momochi."
Sakura facepalmed; Hinata tried to smile and failed; Sasuke deadpanned."This guy sounds awesome already! When are we going to get to meet him?"
Anko hadn't found any intel on where Momochi was. She had to admit, the guy was good at not being found. Every dango restaurant she stopped at said that they hadn't seen him. She was getting quite frustrated. In a small, teensy bout of anger, she had impaled a kid's pet rabbit with one of her dango sticks. Luckily, there had been no witnesses.
She growled in annoyance as she walked over to the ramen stand she had last seen the kids go to. She'd left them alone for a couple days while she went on her "recruit the crazy, murdering, missing-nin" mission, and she wasn't sure what kind of trouble they could have gotten into. Word around Konoha was those kiddies could tear down a building if you left them alone for a few minutes. She hadn't been given any reason during her time traveling with them to believe it, but even the Third seemed a bit wary around the kids sometimes, so she decided not to take too many chances.
Looking at the people eating, she quickly distinguished her children from the bunch. Mostly because they were the only people there, besides a kid and this guy with a huge sword that they were laughing with. She went over to them, ready to break up the little party. The Uzumaki's had asked to travel with her, which meant that they would have to leave when she wanted to as well. She was certain that Momochi wasn't going to be found in Kirigakure.
"Hello again, my traveling compadres! Sadly, my mission here is a bust, which means you and your friends are going to have to say bye-bye now. Sorry, fellas but-" she cut off abruptly as the masked face turned to look at her. She internally fed herself to a snake. The giant sword, why hadn't she recognized it?
She got her kunai out and took up a defensive stance. Not the best way to get someone to follow you home, but she wasn't risking the lives of five kids to complete the mission. That was something only her old sensei would do. She growled at the thought of the man, and her curse mark hummed darkly with chakra in response. She got ready to grab the kids and get them out of the way, when Naruto jumped in front of her.
Risking a bunch of kids makes me sensei. One life isn't too bad, the Kyuubi will just come back in a decade or two anyway.
"Hold up Anko! This is Zabuza, he's a friend of ours." Trust them to make friends with a murderer.
Sakura joined him. "He and Haku joined the clan yesterday. As of now, Zabuza is officially Zabuza Uzumaki." Anko was beginning to wonder if two dead kids was too much.
"What's more," Hinata added, having glided over to stand on the other side of Naruto, "He has agreed to train us."
"I went through the Hokage's office and found your mission pamphlet." Sasuke was still sitting by his bowl of ramen, obviously 'too cool' to go stand in the friendship circle that was forming in front of her.
"Your mission was to retrieve the missing ninja Zabuza Momochi and bring him back to Konoha, where he could perform missions as an Anbu member, if possible, during your search for some sort of seal master. You won't be able to bring Zabuza Momochi back, but you might have a chance at bringing back Zabuza Uzumaki."
The kids were undeniably insane. Not only had they just made friends with a man who had graduated by killing his entire class and his apprentice, they had also let him join their clan. If the Hokage approved it, then they would both become official citizens of Konoha.
They had also just made her job so much easier. Even if her "official" mission was to find a certain seal master, bringing Zabuza back was stressed to her earlier. Also, he was still a crucial part in tracking down the seal master. Besides, who didn't want sociopath for a friend?
"Alright then Uzumaki's," she said, putting her kunai away and grinning. "Who wants dango?"
Naruto sat beside Sasuke and Haku, and watched as Anko devoured bowl after bowl of dango. Their two newest additions looked a bit worried about her level of sugar intake, but he and his other clanmates knew better. It was Naruto on a sugar rush that you really had to look out for.
"Is she going to be ok?" He looked over to see his new sensei staring at Anko with a mixture of awe and horror."Yea, she'll be fine. You haven't even seen me get started on ramen yet!" Haku's face went a tad bit green, but Naruto assumed it was just because he had eaten too much dango.
"You guys are going to love Konoha! We have the best place there! Our compound is huge, and you can have any building you want. All of the ninja love us too. They always give us the nicest presents! This one time, they left us a box of paint outside my door. Too bad it exploded, it was a great shade of pink. All the kids at school thought it was a great color too, since it got all over my clothes!"
Sasuke watched as Naruto rambled on and scared the crap out of the Swordsman. He just wished the Dobe would realize a prank for what it was. It was odd that he couldn't tell when someone was pulling a prank on him, when he did it to others so often.
"Hey Sasuke." He turned to see that Anko had taken a break from vacuuming in her bowl. "How'd you manage to get into the Hokage's office?" He considered lying for a minute, but then thought better of it. It would be just as funny if he told the truth.
"I didn't. I got this guy in spandex to do it for me."
"You mean Gai?"
"The Beautiful Blue Beast of Konoha deemed my mission worthy. He would do anything to protect a valiant kunoichi from the Leaf. When he learned that you were in danger of being pranked for a month, he youthfully accepted the quest, and retrieved the papers I needed to ensure your safety."
Many, many thanks to Unifrog1331, whose wonderful beta-reading has made this chapter so much better than it would have been.
