Chapter Eleven: Pedro's New Material, Diary of an Evil Villain and Stupid Psychologists.

51: Do not look in Scott's diary.

Pedro needed new material. There were only so many Matt/Scarlett videos in existence, and while he had yet to begin Jamie/Holly, Pedro knew he needed something revolutionary. So he decided to borrow the others' diaries. First stop? Scott.

The super-secret diary of The Amazingly Cool Scott Tyler. KEEP OUT, MATT! AND SERIOUSLY, FANGIRLS, STOP READING MY DIARY!

Day One

Had to visit a stupid psychologist today. Unfortunately, the 561st psychologist is better than the others, and didn't run screaming when I told him 'my feelings'. Stupid psychologist.

Day Two

Haha! 561 psychologists down! My love will be impressed!

"Aha!" said Pedro," I knew it."

But who was Scott's love? Pedro knew it had to be someone pretty twisted, but that was all he knew at the minute.

Day Three

Matt is a dick! He stole all my sweets and fed them to the llamas! He will pay! Pay! He will die for this!

"Ohhkayy," Pedro said, creeped out." I think Scott needs to chill out a bit."

The next five days were the same, so Pedro skipped them. Then he came to Day Nine.

"This is gold," Pedro grinned." This is comedy gold..."

Two days later.

Scott was looking around YouTube for his favourite video, How To Kill Your Enemies Slowly and Painfully, when he spotted something in the Trending section.

"Scott Tyler - REVEALED!" he read." By PedroTheGreat. Gee, I wonder who that is?"

Curiosity piqued, Scott clicked on the video, and it began to play. Pedro's image popped up, and began to talk.

"Scott Tyler," Pedro said." The grumpy git of the Five. A telepath and Jamie's brother. But is that really all there is to him?"

The camera cut to a shot of Scott, a question mark above him.

"PedroTheGreat can exclusively reveal, ladies and gentlemen, that there is another side to Scott. For we have access to the telepath's darkest secrets."

Scott felt a sinking feeling as Pedro produced his diary.

"So, let's see, shall we?"

"Number one," read Pedro." Scott is a llama harasser."

The camera cut to a shot of the restraining order, and a shot of Scott throwing a llama off a roof.

"Not only did he throw adorable, fluffy little llamas off rooves( roofs), he also threw them at people, causing grievous injuries! But that's not all, ladies and gents! Scott was eventually ordered by the High Court to never go near them again!"

Cut to a shot of celebrating llamas.

"He is the Llamas Most Wanted! The purveyor of a thousand crimes against llamakind! Yes, Scott Tyler is twisted indeed!"

Head in his hands, Scott peeked through his fingers as Pedro continued.

"But that is far from all, ladies and gentlemen. Scott Tyler has sent five hundred and sixty two psychologists and psychiatrists, experts in mental health, raving back to their own hospitals! Permanent insanity, people! Nobody deserves that! But why is Scott so twisted?"

A drum roll played, and Pedro held up the diary.

"I can now reveal that Scott has a secret love!"

Scott turned whiter than the ice in Oblivion.

"But not a human one, oh no. Scott is in love with his teddy!"

Scott slumped to the floor in a dead faint. He was ruined! Ruined!

"But it is not returned love," Pedro said sadly." Scott is so twisted because his teddy dumped him! While everyone else in the Five had romance - Jamie's love will be exposed shortly, everyone knows about Matt and Scarlett and I myself have had hundreds of offers-"

"Yeah, right," Jamie's voice said off-screen." From crazy fangirls."

"At least I have fangirls!" shot back Pedro.

"I have more!" declared Jamie.

"I have even more!" Matt cut in.

"And you don't enjoy that, do you Matt?" Scarlett asked, death in her voice.

"Of course not," Matt replied, and Jamie sniggered.

"Hey guys!" Chaos said." I'm having a real problem with screaming fans! I thought butchering some would do it, but it's not working!"

"Anyway," said Pedro in a dignified tone." Scott Tyler. The boy who got dumped by his teddy. A sad case indeed. Remember to subscribe, viewers, because next up is Jamie Tyler!"

"PEDRO!"

52: Or Jamie's.

Pedro held the diary reverently in one hand. Jamie was really, really bad at hiding things. Especially top-secret things. Pedro began to read.

THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF AN AWESOME TELEPATH:

THE DIARY OF JAMIE TYLER.

FANGIRLS, STOP STALKING ME. EVERYONE ELSE, DON'T READ!

"Meh," Pedro said." No exposés on the cover."

Day One

Mafia meeting number 250! Gatecrashed by llamas, who beat me and Scott up. I think Pedro let them in on purpose.

Day Two

Got Pedro back for the Llama Incident! I told Scarlett about the hidden cameras in her and Matt's rooms. Didn't go down well, and Pedro got royally beat up!

"Tosser," muttered Pedro." It was only a few hundred CIA class pinhole surveillance cameras."

Day Three

Had a passionate date with Holly.

"Ooh!" Pedro noted." Looking good!"

On way back was ambushed by fangirls.

"Keep on going," smiled Pedro.

Managed to escape,

"Damn," Pedro cursed.

But was then ambushed by llamas.

"Yes..."

Managed to escape.

"Damn."

But was then ambushed by more fangirls, and was kissed by one...

"YES!" yelled Pedro, finishing the diary." I AM MADE, BABY!"

"So, viewers. Jamie Tyler. The joker. The pranker. And the lover of one girl..."

Pedro grinned.

"The girl who fought alongside him at Oblivion. The girl who shot Chaos. The girl who travelled to Antarctica. Yes, it's Holly, viewers. But the story doesn't end there..."

"WHAT?" Jamie yelled.

Pedro continued relentlessly, a grin on his face.

"Fangirls, viewers, are very oppressive. That I know very well. But that doesn't excuse Jamie. I can reveal, ladies and gents..."

"OW! IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS, HOLLY! DO YOU TRUST PEDRO?" yelled Jamie off-screen.

"Or maybe I'll just let Holly do it instead," Pedro said, quickly retreating.

53: Don't read Matt's diary, either.

Whistling, Pedro strolled through the house, and walked straight into Matt's empty room.

"Ooh, what's that top-secret thing over there?" Pedro wondered." Matt must want me to read it, or he would've kept it in a bank vault."

"The top-secret diary of an amazing leader," read Pedro.

Day One

It's not easy being a leader. Scott's a dick, Pedro's a Mafioso and the less said about Jamie the better. But there's one thing in my life, a shining star, a-

"Yuck, this thing's worse than Twilight," said Pedro, throwing it out of the window, where it fell into the hands of a resting Scarlett...

"Matthew Freeman!" yelled Scarlett.

"What?" Matt asked." If this is about the fangirls again, I did nothing, OK!"

"It's not about the fangirls!" shouted Scarlett.

"Well, what is it?"

"Your diary," growled Scarlett, and Matt glared at a laughing Pedro.

"PEDRO!"

"Yo!" replied Pedro.

"WHY DID YOU READ MY DIARY?"

Pedro shrugged.

"Well, it wasn't out of the goodness of my heart," he said." That diary is worse than Twilight!"

Jamie sniggered.

"Do you want some ice on that burn?"

54: And seriously, don't read Chaos' diary.

"Diary of the Greatest Villain Ever," read Pedro." Hmm."

Day One

New High Score on Fruit Ninja today! No minion can top that! Probably because I killed all the ones who did :) LOL

"Seriously, who uses LOL in a diary?" Pedro said, sickened." Forget mass murder, that's a crime against humanity if I ever saw one."

Day Two:

Made all minions listen to 'Friday' today. It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday! Even if it's Tuesday today. Bugger.

Day Three:

Tortured Nightrise Chairman with 'Baby' today, followed by the rest of Beiber's greatest hits. X Factor is tomorrow, and guess who has a V.I.P pass? Well, I did create the show in the first place.

Day Four:

Guess who has the X-Factor? Me!

"Now he's just boasting," groaned Pedro." The best I can get out of this is a newspaper article...

The next day, Chaos awoke in a good mood.

"Minions! Get me the Daily Villain!"

"EvilPad edition or paper?" asked a minion.

"Paper, you fool!" Chaos roared.

The minion soon returned with the Villain, and laid it at Chaos' feet with a bow. As a reward, Chaos drop-kicked him into the shark pool, and picked up the Villain.

"SCORPIA disband, Customer Service flooded with requests. Justin Beiber releases new single - get that now, minion! Ooh! Meyer's writing yet another bland, creepy romance! Minion #2, get that as well. Voldemort 'nose' how to wear the cut-off nose look - get your villain style here!"

Chaos read on, until he came to a glaring headline.

"No! No! Nooooooooooo!" he howled.

"NO!" Chaos roared." One Direction are splitting up!"

While their leader screamed, two minions picked up the paper, flung from Chaos' hands in his rage.

"Hmm," Minion #1 said." CHAOS EXPOSED - BEHIND THE DARK MASK. Do you think we should tell him?"

"Nah," #2 replied." Probably a different Chaos anyway, and it's not important."

"You're right," #1 decided, and flung the paper away, where it landed in the watching Pedro's lap.

"Not quite how I planned it," the Spanish boy noted." But good enough."

55: Pedro, you were asking for it.

In a shadowy secret base, seven shady figures met. OK, maybe that's a bit too dramatic. The shadowy base was in fact Matt's bedroom, and the seven shady figures were Matt, Jamie, Scott, Scarlett, Holly, a dejected-looking Chaos and a sheepish Richard.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have all gathered here because one person has humiliated us. One person has spilled our secrets, read our personal information and ruined our days," began Matt.

"Pedro," hissed Chaos.

"Pedro," agreed Matt." But we can strike back, friends. Here, we have his diary! And we have YouTube! And Photoshop! Time for revenge..."

"I wonder how my videos are doing," said Pedro, two hours after the meeting.

The Spanish boy quickly skipped over to a computer, and opened up YouTube.

"YouTube... Trending... WHAT THE HELL!"

Pedro clicked on the #1 video, titled 'Pedro's Greatest Fails.' A familiar image of himself came upon the screen, with Jamie's voice announcing:

"Number One - Pedro really needs to look around a bit more."

Screen-Pedro was obviously trying to upload a video. Unfortunately, he hadn't noticed Scarlett walking in.

"Whatcha doing?" Scarlett asked brightly.

"I guess saying 'uploading your personal videos' isn't going to win me- OWWWW!"

Scarlett raised the frying pan, and pursued the fleeing Pedro..

Now Matt's voice replaced Jamie's, announcing the next humiliating clip.

"Number Two," said Matt." Stairs."

Pedro was creeping along the corridor, Uzi in hand. It looked like a cross between the robot dance and someone with one leg. Unfortunately for Pedro, he was too busy trying - and failing epically - to Mafia walk, and so missed the flight of stairs ahead, falling to the unforgiving floor below.

"Number Three," Scarlett announced." Is it a llama?"

Pedro was petting a white, fluffy creature. Unfortunately, he hadn't realised it was an alpaca, and really didn't like being petted. Especially by the Llama Leader. The alpaca twisted around and bared its teeth, almost biting off Pedro's finger. Screen-Pedro ran, the alpaca in pursuit, and Pedro stopped the video.

"THIS MEANS WAR! WAR, I TELL YOU! LLAMAS, ASSEMBLE!"

A/N: Uh-oh. War is on its way! Sorry about the wait for this chapter, I accidentally deleted it and had to rewrite it:( I have changed my pen name, but it's the same old Eaglistic behind the name:)

NEXT UP: WAR! The llamas arrive in force, the Fangirls join them, and Richard and Matt are in for a shock...

NEW STORY COMING SOON TO THE FANDOM: An expansion on Chaos' diary, looking into the life of the villain. Crazy Chaos, of course, so keep an eye out if you're interested.