EPISODE 10: "Every Action Movie Cliché" – Deyn
Leg 9: Light Realm / Dark Realm [Yoshi's Safari]
Midday is still visually nighttime as Flo/Maude leave Frosted Glacier. Opening clue instructs teams to travel by Cooligan taxi to Wendy's Thwomp Castle and fly by airship back to Isle Delfino, then by airplane to Jewelry Land's Light Realm. Warning: Delay ahead. All teams again equalized for journey. Tally/Deyn formally apologize to Eve/Podley for U-Turn. Both graciously accept on surface, acknowledging the move as safety. Podley notes they've been Delayed twice now. He states, if the opportunity arises, they must use their Delay to their advantage. Eve, though hesitant to play cutthroat, agrees, affirming her desire to win for her family, Podley, and herself.
Noticeable divide between Goldy/Grubba. In private confessional, Goldy rants how immature Grubba is for old man. Explains pressure on her to bring home money for horde of lazy good-for-nothings. Meanwhile, Grubba assures viewership he now plans to pull out all the stops. Rather annoyed his lesser teammate showed him up multiple times in previous leg, but he vows to outperform everyone.
Gus particularly pleased with Plenn/Thriff's elimination, Garf relieved a huge threat has been removed. Drak/Crimson convene with Flo/Maude and Garf/Gus, confirm next target: Eve/Podley, the most consistent. Having bonded with Eve over their families, Flo/Maude are hesitant. Garf/Gus respect Podley as neutral party in Rogueport. However, both teams recognize eliminating Eve/Podley could increase their chances of winning.
Flight lands in Light Realm mid-morning, releasing teams scrambling for Yoshi taxis to Grass Land's Super Scope Super School. Strategic flight seating and militaristic demands to their driver earn Drak/Crimson first dibs at Intersection. Neither have much idea what lies ahead, but aiming to preserve their ideal Final 3, they plan to support physically inferior Flo/Maude. Next arrivals, Goldy/Grubba, aggravated when Drak/Crimson refuse to partner up. Tally/Deyn pull up third and join Goldy/Grubba.
After getting briefed on mechanics of Super Scopes, Intersection involves glorified indoor laser tag and scoring 50,000 combined points in 10-minute game. Each Super Scope has automatic firing capability, but when built-in Power Meter depletes, rate of fire drops drastically. Additionally, built-in Life Meter renders Super Scope incapacitated and wielder removed from play if it empties.
Pink-yellow team heads into building for instructions, Goldy looking nervous. Garf/Gus arrive next and are understandably confused by Drak/Crimson holding out. Drak briefly explains rationale—Garf/Gus likely more well-rounded to handle Intersection, while Flo/Maude need protecting—but Garf/Gus dubious. Twilight teams arrive and green-lavender and gray-violet Intersected teams proceed onward.
As first match begins, Goldy doubtful about her usefulness. Tally reassures her, suggests she work her size and erratic movements to her advantage. Grubba plows in gun a-blazin, Tally also starts aggressively. Goldy complains her eyes give her poor aim; she struggles to land hits. Deyn plays conservatively, comparing game to hiding out in cornfield as a kid. All discover on the fly that their opponents (predominantly Paragoombas/Parakoopas) cycle in/out of playing field with lower base Life/Power meters. Goldy cannot bounce and aim simultaneously, she is sitting duck and gets eliminated early. Grubba forgets to manage Power meter, allowing foes to trade equal fire. He goes out around halfway mark. Tally/Deyn outnumbered and still learning. They end with 30K total pts.
Other superteams take first shot at same time, different rooms. Drak/Crimson going all-out war. They build soldiers and send them into field as extra eyes. Flo/Maude take to air, but struggle with aiming using their talons. Garf/Gus accustomed to sneaking about, use obstacles as cover to great effect. Podley has best aim. Eve shows distaste for this type of task, and despite good camouflage, gets incapacitated early. She reminds herself of the end goal and resolves to do better. Flo starts panicking at low Life and gets herself removed. Gray-violet team finishes with 35K pts, green-lavender with 37K.
Grubba takes more balanced approach on second try, while Deyn ups her offense. Goldy still dead weight. Tally is their main scorer, but they still barely hit 40K. Physicality and duration of task forces them to rest briefly before trying again. Eve begins second attempt stingy on ammo, but picks up pace. Podley/Garf/Gus improve, but only reach 42K. Maude getting better handle on aim, but Flo still struggling. Flo does Crow!speak shenanigans for backup support to Maude, but Crimson yells she must contribute with points. They end with 38K. Everyone rethinking strategy due to time constraints. Eve concludes intelligent offense is best method.
Grubba pours on fire, but pink-yellow falls shy at 48K due to Goldy's abysmal score. Drak/Crimson/Maude go to town, Flo finding her sweet spot dodge-tanking and returning fire, but gray-violet only gets 45K. All-around performing green-lavender superteam bolstered by Eve joining fray, and they clear 50K, finishing challenge first. Route Info instructs teams to travel southeast by Yoshi taxi across Grand Bridge to Pipe Island and find Pipeway Fun House. Somewhere inside is next clue. Teams also bring Super Scopes with them for duration of leg. Garf commends Eve on stepping up when it mattered, and they all depart. Garf/Gus worried for their allies.
Strong round by Grubba/Tally pushes them over edge, allowing Goldy/Grubba and Tally/Deyn to leave in third on third try. Shortly after, Drak/Crimson and Flo/Maude succeed.
Long Yoshi ride to Pipe Island. Brief update shows Grubba's comparatively heavier weight slowing his Yoshi down, allowing Tally/Deyn to build lead. Meanwhile, leaders arrive at Pipeway Fun House and start navigating Warp Pipes. Garf/Gus first to inner chamber with clue box. They ignore Fast Forward and open Detour. Mecha Mayhem has teams navigating unwieldy bipedal robots to nearby Mushroom Land and working controls bent on destruction to create neat little pyramid out of 93 Mushrooms. Marine Marksmanship has teams hopping into submarines, going to Crescent Coast, correctly loading torpedoes, and then navigating far out at sea for underwater target practice.
Both teams go mecha. They head to nearby Mushzantium Mechanics where vehicles are and get acquainted. However, Garf notices how finicky robot controls are; Garf/Gus switch to submarine. Submarine controls are fairly straightforward, with underwater navigation being main issue. Garf/Gus head west at shallow depth, Gus manning periscope. Obligatory remark on penguin connection from previous leg. Meanwhile, Eve/Podley divvy up control panel duties and get their robot airborne. Podley marvels over how cool robot is. Eve compares it to giant toy.
Tally/Deyn reach Detour, pick Marine Marksmanship. Goldy/Grubba agree soft touch skills aren't their thing, also go submarines. Goldy feeling distressed she performed so poorly at Intersection. She laments in confessional that tasks accommodating her strengths are hit/miss, and is sickened that she's been inadvertently helping Grubba achieve his goal.
Eve/Podley descend on Mushroom Land. Podley accidentally hits missile button that destroys a bunch of Mushrooms. Both also accidentally squeeze several Mushrooms too hard with the robot's claws, rendering them unacceptable for challenge. Gradually they start getting feel for pressure necessary to pluck tiny Mushrooms from ground and place into robot-mounted basket.
Drak/Crimson, Flo/Maude enter Pipeway Fun House. Flo/Maude fangirl over mecha. Drak/Crimson briefly debate using Fast Forward, which involves collecting twelve jewels—representing Jewelry Land's eponymous gems—by hitting targets with their Super Scopes on Yoshi-led safari. Both are confident in their shooting abilities, but decide to save it and monitor their allies on main track. Drak/Crimson follow Flo/Maude.
Garf/Gus reach Crescent Coast shoreline a bit off mark. They head down to beached cargo and begin lugging seven heavy torpedoes across sand, one at a time, to their submarine's weapon bay. Both excited by prospect of seeing underwater destruction. Check-in on Tally/Deyn shows them making beeline northwest back toward Grass Land, Deyn at helm. Goldy/Grubba on track, Goldy sniping at Grubba for hoggig all important duties. Grubba calls himself one man machine, like submarine.
Eve/Podley have good head start on acquiring Mushrooms. Eve suggests they build small surplus in case they smash some while building pyramid; Podley agrees. Flo/Maude have surprisingly good handle on flying their mecha and enjoy themselves, joking they are new bird of prey species. Drak/Crimson, however, jolt around like Leg 5.1 UFO.
Garf/Gus exhausted as they load seventh torpedo. They pile back into submarine and plot course south into open ocean. Goldy/Grubba hit shore next to ammo drops. Grubba hoists individual torpedoes himself, running commentary on his strength. Goldy frustrated at finding herself useless for this portion. Meanwhile, Tally/Deyn confused on their whereabouts. Tally suggests a correction. They switch direction and get back on track.
At Mushroom Land, Flo/Maude alight just as Eve/Podley finish gathering Mushrooms—they have 110. After doing math, Podley realizes that standard 36-25-16-9-1 pyramid adds up to 91, two under requirements. Eve deduces they stack last two on top of peak. Making base sturdy is paramount. They bring their crop to a floating platform and start crafting their pyramid. Flo/Maude find themselves struggling mightily to pluck Mushrooms without crushing them. Maude describes robot's claws as extensions of their feet, which helps them figure it out. Drak/Crimson arrive and have much easier time with picking than flying. Harkening back to Past Toad Town Detour, they also decide ahead of time to collect excess. Eve/Podley take their time on placing Mushrooms, but aren't as precise on their spacing as they should be.
Grubba finishes singlehandedly placing all torpedoes into submarine and makes smarmy remark to Goldy, who predictably responds with anger. They head back out as Tally/Deyn arrive. The Toads work together to drag the torpedoes across the beach, both surprised by this Detour option's hidden physical component. Garf/Gus still speeding along out at sea, Gus monitoring radar for target markers.
Eve/Podley working independently controlling each claw. Podley accidentally knocks some Mushrooms off on second level, forcing them to redo some work. Eve implores him to be careful. Drak/Crimson have passed Flo/Maude on gathering Mushrooms. Flo lampshades fact they're using complicated contraption to accomplish simple task and proclaims her love for how silly Race can be. Maude agrees. Both realize they just crushed some Mushrooms in their excitement.
Tally/Deyn exhausted by the time they heave seventh torpedo into submarine. They practically topple into control room. Tally weakly massages knots from Deyn's back as they head south. Gus finally sights target. It's…a naval mine. Neither Craw intimidated, but highly enthused as they prepare torpedo for launch. Ensuing explosion has them whooping it up. Four more to go.
Eve/Podley's unstable base causes corner to collapse, effectively forcing them to rework large part of pyramid. Flo/Maude still chugging along plucking Mushrooms. Drak/Crimson have gathered small surplus and begun stacking. Crimson squishes the Mushroom tops slightly using the robot's giant claws. They rebound, but the sheer force results in some flattening occurring. However, there is unavoidable variance; they flatten unevenly. Crimson notices once they begin their second layer and regrets her ill-planned strategy.
Garf/Gus alternate firing torpedoes at mines. After fifth one, ride-along captain instructs them to return to Mushzantium Mechanics by triangulating its location. They make an estimate and start heading back. Goldy/Grubba arrive in targeting vicinity and start blowing stuff up. Grubba comments on Goldy's body looking similar to mine.
All three Mecha Mayhem teams working on Mushroom pyramids. Flo/Maude having issues mastering precision placement. Drak/Crimson moving swiftly and compensating for uneven base. Eve/Podley encouraging each other as they work. As Flo/Maude lose their work for the first of many times, Drak/Crimson break away in constructing their pyramid's uppermost echelons and use Crimson's squishing method to ensure the vertical three-stack topper holds in place for long enough to earn the clue.
Teams will travel by Yoshi taxi to the ground base of Float Castle I, a hot air balloon docking point with a Warp Pipe to Jewelry Land's aptly named Dark Realm. Drak/Crimson pilot their mecha back to Mushzantium Mechanics. Drak gloats how, despite their lack of technological acumen, their meticulousness has catapulted them into lead.
Grubba nails fifth mine without issue, and they depart back toward mainland. Tally/Deyn have gone prescribed distance and found only open water. Quite literally lost at sea. Tally wonders why they always unintentionally take scenic route. Deyn reminisces on their past road trips where this happened. Both unsure how to proceed, but decide on a direction and commit.
Flo/Maude's pyramid topples once more. Eve/Podley finish theirs and begin heading back to Mushzantium Mechanics. Drak/Crimson have returned to their Yoshi taxi. Tally/Deyn happen upon the marine minefield and begin firing away. Garf/Gus return their submarine and depart Detour in second. Eve/Podley, Goldy/Grubba follow in third, fourth. After some more difficulties, Flo/Maude complete Mecha Mayhem. Even further back, Tally/Deyn miraculously triangulate their trajectory within usable error and hit land. All teams make the Yoshi taxi journey.
Drak/Crimson reach ground base in first place and find the Yield. In confessional, they finalize their ideal F3 with the two bird teams. Current goal is to now orchestrate eliminations of Eve/Podley, Goldy/Grubba, Tally/Deyn. However, not knowing the standings on Marine Marksmanship side, they abstain from using their Delay. Route Info instructs them to proceed through Warp Pipe to Dark Realm and locate Ghost Mansion.
Garf/Gus bypass Yield. Eve/Podley arrive third and weigh their options. Three Yoshi taxis remained outside Mushzantium Mechanics when they left. They aren't in danger, but Podley says now is time to remove a threat. The only team they're certain is behind them is Flo/Maude. Despite her earlier commital, Eve vetoes them, unwilling to strike against her fellow Twilight moms. Podley relents, agreeing that other options are more dangerous. They select an unseen team, Eve scribbles a note of apology, and continue forward. Goldy/Grubba hit the Yield. Surprise! It's them. Grubba fairly understanding about the retaliatory shot, but proclaims it won't stop them. Goldy is less optimistic and says his spur-of-the-moment decision six legs ago has doomed them.
At home in another haunted building, Drak/Crimson locate the Roadblock ("Who's ready for an upgrade?"), which tasks someone with disassembling their Super Scope, installing a supercharge barrel, reassembling the weapon, and then demonstrating new capability by blasting through a wall. The more technology-savvy Crimson takes it and, ignoring the Boos' efforts to distract her, begins figuring out how all the parts fit together.
The final grains in the hourglass drop, releasing Goldy/Grubba into the Dark Realm. Flo/Maude and Tally/Deyn trail.
Gus and Podley get to work enhancing their Super Scopes. Simultaneously leveraging her abilities to see the big picture and pay attention to detail, Crimson locks and loads her supercharge barrel and obliterates the marked area. Their last Route Info instructs them to travel on foot to the next pit stop at Obsidian Overlook, a vantage point over the nearby Dark Sea. Podley continues working with steady efficiency. Gus' raw fervor causes him to make several mistakes and opens him to teasing by the Boo onlookers.
Despite Drak commandeering the newly powered up Super Scope for himself, it's all for naught as the run through a startlingly Twilight Trail-like dead forest is wholly uneventful. Blaise and Prince Pine award the cousins their first victory and 10,000 coins each. The officers drop all pretenses and revel in success, though Crimson briefly ponders if Flo/Maude are in danger with the highly technical Roadblock. Eve/Podley and Garf/Gus check in second and third.
Grubba cites the Gold Star-exploiting contraption he built as proof of his expertise in doohickeys and doodads, and he proves it by demolishing the Roadblock, holding them stable for fourth place. Maude indeed struggles with dismantling a weapon practically her size, but the head start is enough for her to get her bearings and figure out a workable system. The Toads wish the moms well as they fly out of reach to finish fifth, moods somber by situation rather than environment as they reflect on their Race journey. Deyn apologizes for not completing the Roadblock fast enough, but Tally insists they both did their best throughout the day and simply came up short. Sunny smiles return to their faces when they learn they've been saved by the third and final non-elimination leg. Blaise confirms that all legs from here to the finale will end in elimination. The pink team resolves to make it to the end.
LEADERBOARD (w/ RB tallies)
1. Drak/Crimson (5:6)
2. Eve/Podley (5:6 / USED DELAY)
3. Garf/Gus (5:5)
4. Goldy/Grubba (6:5 / YIELDED)
5. Flo/Maude (5:5)
6. Tally/Deyn (5:5)
Easter Eggs:
- 93 Mushroom requirement for Mecha Mayhem honors Yoshi's Safari's release date.
- Seven torpedoes for Marine Marksmanship pays homage to seven worlds of Light Realm; five mines, the five worlds of Dark Realm.
Author's Notes (8/10/2016): Initially when selecting destinations I'd doubted the viability of an entire leg based on Yoshi's Safari. However, some of the end concepts—Super Scope laser tag and a Detour based on mecha and submarines—sound really fun!
