Sollux walked out of the library at near dusk. He stretched his arms above his head and cracked his neck and toes in the process. It was still relatively warm out, so he wore sandals with his jeans and t-shirt that evening.
Eridan was wandering down the path, furtively, dragging a cooler behind him. He had decided to take a less-used pathway, but he was none too keen to get caught, all the same. He had brought with him an impressive store of liquor, and he had a couple of ladies to meet. He spied Sollux, and, after a moment's consideration, jogged up to meet him. "Hey, Sol? What're you up to?"
Sollux eyed him and the cooler warily. What was his angle? "Going back to the dorm..."
"Borin'. C'mon, we're goin' drinkin'," Eridan clapped Sollux on the shoulder, pushing him along as he walked. "Friend a mine figured a prime drinkin' spot where nobody goes."
"Wait, wh-what?" He didn't necessarily stop him, but was more surprised than anything, "Do you have any idea how much trouble you can get into for that?"
"What're you, a teetotaler? C'mon, you don't have to drink or anythin', you can just watch, but bein' somewhere besides behind a monitor'll do you some good. Shit Sol, I can see the fuckin' ubuntu symbol burned into your cheek. Now march."
Sollux glared, but was rendered pretty much speechless by his argument, "Fine, but I'm drinking too and I swear if we get caught I'm selling your ass up the river so fucking fast."
As they took the path, further and further from the more populated bits of campus, Eridan grinned. "You got a sweet tooth, yeah? I got the fancy shit." He stopped and opened the cooler, taking a chilled bottle out and handing it to Sollux. "Mead."
He looked at the bottle in mild shock, "Damn, I don't know anyone else who even knows what mead is. Are you a fucking unicorn?"
"You're gonna know a couple. That's one a Fef's favorites," he grinned. "Quality stuff, too, from a local brewer."
Sollux smirked and sang quietly, "Always I wanna be with you and make believe with you..."
Eridan smirked, "An' live in harmony, harmony...oh love..."
Sollux started laughing as Eridan finished the song with him.
Eridan led the way towards an old abandoned theater. No one else was on the path, or even in recognizable view from here.
They went through a darkened entranceway that gradually became lit as they went further in. Soon they were in an auditorium complete with fold-out seats and a stage with wings. Video tapes, whole and broken were scattered all over the floor, strips of the magnetic tape winding around several chairs. The stage itself was intact, but several large hammers, pipes, and even a chainsaw lay near the furthest wall beneath several holes and lines. Sollux looked around curiously, rubbing the bottle in both hands as he turned completely around.
"Creepy, ain't it? Still, nobody bothers comin' 'round, an' there's nobody to complain about the noise. Hey Fef, hey Kan," he called out, waving to two ladies perched on the stage, chatting. They waved, as Eridan bumped the cooler down the stairs to the stage.
"Hiiii!" called the tall girl in pink and faded denim, her flowing strawberry-blonde hair streaming behind her as she hopped down from the stage.
She bounced her way over, tackle-hugging Eridan, before even noticing Sollux, "Oh, hi! A friend of yours, Eridan? Hi, I'm Feferi!"
Sollux looked between Eridan and the girls, hesitating for a few seconds before answering, "Uhh yes? Sollux. Sollux Captor."
The other girl had mocha-brown skin and wispy black hair; reserved in dress and manner as she strolled up after Feferi, "That seems unlikely, but at the very least it seems like you actually KNOW Eridan."
Eridan rolled his eyes, "Real funny, Kan, except not at all. Good to see you, too. Fef, Kan, this is Sol, the asshole what keeps lockin' me out a the bathroom. Sol, Fef's my best girl since we was fry, an' Kan...is Kan. Though she's called Kanaya if we're bein' proper." He smirked toward Kanaya with no malice as he gave Feferi another squeeze around the shoulder. He pulled himself from her side and dragged the cooler up to the floor in front of the stage where the lighting was decent. He pulled out a mead for Feferi, "Kan, what're you having? I got a bunch a shit."
Kanaya shrugged delicately, walking back to them on the balls of her feet, "If you have any scotch or vodka, I would appreciate it."
Sollux walked over as well, carefully minding his step as he wasn't aware of just how much debris was on the floor. He twisted off the top of his bottle of mead and took a drink from it, his eyes still examining the ceiling.
Eridan crouched by the cooler, a clinking of bottles could be heard, when he found what he was looking for. "Single malt," he said, passing her a large bottle of scotch and a plastic cup. "You take it straight, no rocks, if I recall. Kar couldn' make it but sends his best anyway. We'll get him next time, I'm sure." He got himself a bottle of local microbrew lager and popped the lid with a keychain bottle opener.
Feferi raised her mead, "To drunken revelry!"
"Cheers," toasted Eridan, before taking a swig.
Kanaya poured her glass, raising it with more grace than the plastic deserved with a slight, wry grin before sipping. She sat beside Sollux, "So what DOES bring you with us this evening?"
"I was abducted," Sollux quipped back.
"I can tell. I like your shades." Kanaya pointed to her cat-winged lined eyes as an example.
"Thanks." Sollux grinned back.
"It's nice to meet Eridan's friends, he doesn't have all that many!" smiled Feferi, and Eridan made a bitter face at her. "You don't. Anyway, mind telling us about yourself? I think I've seen you around, but I don't think we've had any classes together."
Sollux couldn't say no to such a sweet girl. He smiled at her, but put on the spot as he was, he couldn't quite think of anything impressively verbose to say. Sollux picked at the label of his bottle and looked off to the side, "Oh, um... I'm a computer science major with a software concentration."
Kanaya's eyes widened, "Must be time-consuming."
Sollux nodded, "Yeah. Lot of outside work." He failed to mention how much 'outside work' was school-relevant. And legal.
"He spends all his time in his room, is what he's sayin'," chimed in Eridan, gesturing towards Sollux with his lager, "Saw him wanderin' around like a lost gazelle an' dragged him along."
Sollux raised an eyebrow at him, "Oh great, and of course you took me here to eat me. Fantastic. I knew I shouldn't have trusted you." He raised his hands in the air in exaggeration as Kanaya snickered.
Kanaya chimed in, "Pay me no mind, I only drink the blood of women."
"Yeah, like I'm gonna waste Fef's mead on somebody what wouldn't see the mornin'," Eridan muttered, rolling his eyes. Feferi shot him a look, and he continued, nonchalantly, "If I was plannin' on killin' somebody, they can damn well make do with Pabst."
Kanaya shuddered with disgust and dismay, "Ugh, were I to kill anyone for their blood, I'd be sure to give them something exquisite for their final night. Clearly you have no etiquette for murder, Eridan."
"Fuck, a guy can't make a joke?" Eridan grumbled.
Feferi giggled, "Being fair, he hasn't had any convictions yet."
"So if he HAD theoretically murdered anyone, you guys would know about it?" Sollux gestured with his bottle, not letting the joke die.
"Had Eridan murdered anyone, I'm certain that not even HE would be able to keep quiet about it for long. Especially since he is NEVER silent." Kanaya took another sip.
Feferi took a sip of her mead, giggling at a memory, a red expression on her face. Eridan knew this expression well, and he blurted out a warning, "Fef, no, don't you dare!" before realizing that that was probably the last thing he ever should have said.
"But it's such a funny story!" she protested, to which Eridan answered with a glare.
Sollux laughed, "Tell me tell me come on please I'll do anything!"
Eridan swore quietly, and Feferi flashed Sollux a wide grin, "Aaaanything?"
"Oh god I knew I shouldn't have gone there." Sollux rubbed an eye under his sunglasses with a chuckle.
"Can I wear your sunglasses? Or are they prescription? Oh, and if I tell you this secret, you have to tell one, too!"
Sollux pushed his sunglasses up his nose self-consciously, "Uh sorry, I have really, really bad eyesight. Blind as fuck without them." A lie, of course, but he was self-conscious about his two-tone eyes, and the tinted lenses helped him to hide in plain sight.
Kanaya raised an eyebrow, reading his body language easily.
Sollux continued, "I can definitely trade you a secret for something about this douchebag."
"Deal!" Feferi grinned, taking a drink, as Eridan buried his face in his hands. "Okay, so Eridan has a history of assault, kind of." Sollux's eyes widened in terror, but Feferi continued, a Cheshire grin across her lips, "See, the first time he got really drunk was during a game of truth or dare with some of our friends, and long story short, he ended up in a harvest festival after dark, in his underwear, beating a scarecrow into submission with a hockey stick. On video."
About this time Sollux fell over laughing, sure to keep his bottle from tipping over at all, "You're fucking serious? That's fucking amazing!"
Kanaya laughed as well, kicking her feet up, "Fearsome warrior!"
Eridan groaned. "It was the first fuckin' time I got wasted, okay? Also, all our friends were dicks."
Feferi laughed, "He smelled like straw and pumpkin guts for three days! Heeheeheee! It was pretty epic, really."
Kanaya gasped, "He did? Oh goodness I wasn't there for that part, was this when I had to go back to New York? I'm sorry to have missed it, that sounds just wonderful!"
Sollux picked himself back up and stared at Eridan, trying to imagine him younger. Damn, he must've been even worse as a teenager.
"Oh you never saw the video? I'll have to send-"
"NO." interrupted Eridan. "Just, no, Fef." He sighed, eager for a topic change. "Sol, you owe the lady a secret. Get on that," he sighed, taking a fresh lager from the cooler.
Sollux tapped his foot briefly, trying to think of something to say, looking completely baffled, "Uhhhh... I don't know. I can, um... touch my nose with my tongue?"
Kanaya snickered, "That isn't exactly a secret, it's more of a talent."
"You'll have to come up with something better, I'm afraid, but let's see it anyway!" cheered Feferi
Sollux placed his bottle down and sat in a relatively comfortable position. He tilted his head slightly and furrowed his eyebrows, pushing his tongue out and somehow managing to do as he said, the tip of his tongue touching the tip of his upturned nose. He smirked and rubbed his nose on his sleeve, looking at Feferi and Kanaya, "See?"
Kanaya applauded, "That appears to be a borderline courtship ritual."
Feferi clapped politely, and Eridan shrugged, though he did wonder about better uses for a tongue than that.
"Yep, I'm a circus seal." Sollux nodded before taking another drink, finishing his mead, "That's my secret. I'm actually on leave from the Dark Carnival of the Mirthful Messiahs to get an education."
"Explains the smell a fish comin' from your room," said Eridan, altogether annoyed, even if he did have to admit (and, truth told, sometimes had admitted) that the scarecrow-beatdown story was pretty good. But he felt entitled to some proper dirt on Sollux, and if he couldn't get it, maybe he could at least make him feel uncomfortable.
"Yep, put it there just for you, sugar. Glad you like." He winked with a tic of his cheek.
Eridan stuck his tongue out at Sollux, and Feferi smacked Eridan lightly in the back of the head. "For real, though, a good secret! Or something amusing. That's fair, isn't it?"
"All right. Um, this is kind of embarrassing and dumb as hell, but whatever. You know that band Bitchtits?"
Kanaya cocked her head curiously, "That, um rap group?"
Sollux looked back at her, abhorrence more apparent on his face, "Yeah. Well, my best friend was really close with the drummer, Tavros."
Eridan couldn't help but be somewhat impressed by the admission, as Feferi asked, "Was he anything like Gamzee?"
Sollux shook his head, "Nope. He's actually a pretty decent guy, just dorky as fuck. He and my best friend Aradia used to LARP together. He was some kind of elf fairy thing or something gay like that."
Kanaya's eyebrow arched at that statement, "I resemble that remark."
"What? A fairy?" Sollux blurted before realizing what he said, "I mean, uh, gay?"
Kanaya giggled lowly, sensing no malice from the young man, "I prefer the fairer sex."
Feferi asked, "Did you know any of the other band members?"
Sollux had to think about that for a second, "Uhh, not really. I mean I sort of knew Tavros through my best friend, but Gamzee is apparently from Newark or something."
Kanaya looked like a predatory cat at that last statement.
Sollux noticed, "I take it you don't approve of him?"
"Not exactly," Feferi said, answering for Kanaya as she leaned over and finished her mead. Eridan handed Feferi another, "Uh, Kan, would a change a topic be called for, then?"
Kanaya refilled her cup, "Yes please."
"So what are all your majors anyway? The jedi here never told me his." Sollux jabbed a thumb towards Eridan.
"Biology, hoping to get into pre-med," chimed Feferi.
"Art, photography focus," said Eridan.
Kanaya answered, "Biology with a Botany concentration. Very small concentration."
Sollux raised an eyebrow, "Good place to meet girls?"
"Not really, most of the biology majors are guys. Asian guys. Generally not interested in anything."
Sollux made a gesture between his hands toward Feferi and Kanaya, "So are you two...?"
Feferi giggled, "Nah, just good friends. Very good ones! But no, we aren't lovers."
Sollux asked, genuinely curious, "You dating anyone at all?"
"Not right now. Not looking seriously, either, honestly, but I'll get around to it sooner or later, I'm sure. When I feel like it."
Having not heard from Eridan in a while, he looked back at the guy, "You're quiet for once."
Kanaya chimed in, "Indeed, you can't possibly be drunk already."
"Theoretically I could, but I'm not. An' secondly, shut up. I ain't the motor-mouth you two take me for, I can be quiet an' contemplative an' shit, same as anybody else." he huffed.
Sollux looked surprised, placing his empty bottle at his side and crawling toward him for another, "You're the one who's always running his mouth at me. Hell, you up and kidnapped me, remember?"
Eridan simply took another swig, unsure about the situation. He had wanted Sollux to get along with his lady-friends, but maybe not this well. And that little flirtation with Feferi hadn't gone unnoticed by him, although he wasn't jealous. No, that particular ship had sailed, crashed, caught fire, and sank long since, but she was still dear to him anyway. If anything, he was protective of her, although he didn't think she or Kanaya had anything to fear from this scrawny asshole. Still, adding another comrade to their drinking nights could be a good thing, and he was right, he did think it was good for Sollux to be out among the living now and then.
"Hey." Sollux poked the side of Eridan's head, "Yo. Can I have another mead?"
Eridan squinted at the sharp jab, those fingers were sharp and slender, not that he could have imagined otherwise. He turned his head quickly, catching sight of one of Sollux's irises behind his sunglasses. Hm. Interesting color.
He passed Sollux another mead, "Here you go. Hey, you ain't a lightweight, right? Am I gonna have to carry you home?"
Sollux snorted, "Like you could."
He shrugged, "Okay, am I gonna have to seat you on the cooler an' drag you back, then?"
Sollux had twisted the top off and was taking another sip as he rolled his eyes.
Kanaya meanwhile mused on the newcomer, who was clearly hiding something behind his double-tinted shades, and whispered a stray idea to Feferi that made the girl giggle.
Eridan cocked an eyebrow. "Mind cluin' us in, or more importantly, cluin' me in?"
Kanaya said, "Oh nothing. Nothing at all." He smile said otherwise. Sollux just looked confused and a little apprehensive. Fuck. She saw through him. She had to have. She was a smart bio major, she was onto him. She had to have figured out he was into guys by process of elimination from his slip-up before. Fuck!
Feferi snickered, leaning over and plucking Eridan's glasses away, "Hey, are you as nearsighted as ever?" She put them on her eyes, going a little cross-eyed. "Whoa, yep!" Eridan scowled at her, but was pretty used to this behavior. Feferi put the glasses on Kanaya's face, "See? Eridan's glasses plus beer goggles, whee!"
Kanaya giggled and made a pose like a cosmetics model, trying too hard to be sassy and understated. Sollux inched over to Feferi and handed her his two-colored sunglasses while rubbing his left eye, "Wanna try on mine? Hope you don't go blind!"
Feferi winked to Kanaya, taking the hipster-specs back and putting them on Sollux, trying on the sunglasses herself. "Check these out! Oh wow, everything looks weird like this! How can you walk around with two colors going on?"
Kanaya took the opportunity to note the colors of Sollux's eyes; Eridan tried to do the same, but his nearsightedness made it a futile effort for the moment.
Sollux shrugged, blinking a few times before keeping his eyes closed, "Holy shit Eridan, you are seriously blind. What the hell? So the thick lenses aren't because you're a fucking hipster?"
"Fuck you, Sol. Fuck you in the face with a shovel." He scooted over to get his glasses back. Wait, the eye he had open wasn't the same as the one he had seen before.
Heterochromia? Interesting. Captivating, even.
"Such a charmer. Doezzat bring all the boys to the yard?" he replied, his words drifting out lazy and easy. It was entirely possible that the haze of honey wine starting to seep in. Sollux couldn't tell that Eridan had seen his eyes, having been looking in another direction with a hand over his eye pretending to rub it. On the other hand, Sollux, despite his bravado, was indeed something of a lightweight.
Feferi snickered, handing back his shades. Eridan rolled his eyes. Great, if Sollux was this gone after so little, he'd end up with puke on his shoes for sure.
Sollux slid his shades back on smoothly, looking back and forth as though he hoped no one saw a thing. Kanaya grinned with white teeth behind her black lipstick, "Well that was certainly fun. Did you know there's a sexual fetish for glasses in Japan?"
"In fact, I did not." said Eridan, taking his own specs back.
Feferi shook her head, "There's probably a fetish for just about anything though, I think."
Sollux nodded, "Yeah, the glasses fetish thing is really big over there. They also have this thing for a girl's thighs above her stockings but below her skirt."
Kanaya's smile grew, "Strange people."
"Being fair? The short skirt and stockings thing is pretty cute," smiled Feferi, balancing a bottlecap on her nose.
Kanaya nodded, "It is. Her thighs just wouldn't the thing I'd be the most concerned with."
Eridan shrugged, a grin crossing his lips, "Coverin' skin just right is always gonna be hot. It's like puttin' it in wrappin' paper, you know? Makin' a pretty package makes you wanna take it off that much more."
The thought of having his shirt torn off by Eridan flashed in Sollux's mind for a second, utterly unbidden; he scratched his scalp, clearing his throat and nodding.
Eridan took another swig, continuing, explaining to the ladies, "See, an evenin' dress, right? Say one that covers the torso, but shows a li'l cleavage, a li'l leg, an' the shoulders. Enough t'remind you that there's a flesh body underneath, but covers it almost completely. That can be just as hot as somebody in lingerie, if it's done right. An' men? A guy in a button-down, tie loose an' top buttons undone just enough, an' on the right guy, that's hotter'n if he was in his skivvies. You follow?"
Kanaya grinned, "You have quite an astute eye. It's true. A girl who knows how to dress herself well is quite a turn-on. I've heard girls say the same about a guy who can dress himself too. It's a pity I don't know any of either."
Eridan blew a raspberry at Kanaya.
Feferi huffed, "I look okay!"
Eridan rounded on her, "It's keepin' you dressed what's the problem, Fef." He turned to Sollux, tossing his thumb towards Feferi, "Chronic skinny-dipper."
Sollux blushed at that lovely little piece of information, "Really?"
Feferi shoved Eridan's shoulder. "It's not like you haven't done it, too! You weren't even drunk enough to use that as an excuse, either."
Eridan shot back, "You're never drunk when you go dippin'. Couldn' keep you out a the pool back home, an' fuck if you didn't give the maid a heart attack that time she caught you."
Kanaya laughed, "You actually have a maid?"
Sollux desperately tried to not think about Eridan naked. Or Feferi. Or both of them at the same time. Fuck fuck fuck, He had to be drunk or something. Wait, that reminded him of something he'd been thinking about for the last few weeks.
"Um, I've been sort of curious Eridan, what kind of accent is that you have anyway?"
Eridan rolled his eyes yet again. As much as he liked the uniqueness of his dialect, he had tired of explaining it long since.
Feferi piped up, "Eridan's mom is from Ireland, and his dad is from Texas. Even though we grew up near each other, he's just always talked this way! Though, he didn't swear this much when we were little."
Sollux shrugged without a beat, "Could've fooled me. The way you swear you might as well sing for Bitchtits."
Kanaya's eyes widened as she chuckled, "I like your friend Eridan!"
"Drinking buddy achieved!" Feferi laughed, holding up her almost-empty mead.
Sollux pumped his fists in the air and leaned his head back, "Yes!"
Feferi laughed, and even Eridan snorted. Kanaya couldn't help but notice that Sollux was especially fun to prod into little fits. "So, Sollux… what are your 'interests,' then?"
"What? You mean other than computers?" Sollux looked confused again, cocking his head like a puppy.
"You know, illicit activities." Kanaya leaned forward, chin in her hands after another sip of scotch.
"You know all about us now, after all!" Feferi said, "Kanaya likes the ladies, I skinnydip, and Eridan is a one-man army against the impending scarecrow invasion. So what are you into?"
Sollux didn't quite know how to begin with that. He hated being put on the spot like this. He flicked his fingers over his bottle's label as he cleared his throat, speaking as casually as he could muster, "Oh well, you know, dirty talk is kind of hot."
Eridan raised an eyebrow. Despite the warm buzz of quality lager, he felt sober enough to make use of this, and so far as he knew he might well be the only one sober enough to make sense of it. The ladies were occasionally forgetful drinkers, after all, and he was toasted just enough to follow through with bad ideas, "How dirty are we talkin' here, Sol?"
Sollux gave a shaky grin, "Well, I dunno, I haven't really thought too hard about that kind of shit." Aside from porn and blowjobs and guys and his slight oral fixation, the thought jabbed at the back of his mind with a sneer. Wait that last one wasn't not too weird, right? "I kind of have an oral fixation too I guess?"
Interesting indeed. "So it's all about the mouth for you, is it? Either what's goin' in or what's comin' out? You didn't say what end you liked bein' on, though, for either a those things."
Kanaya sensed something was going on and continued to watch out of sheer entertainment value.
Sollux meanwhile struggled to deal with the numerous options given to him in his somewhat intoxicated state, "Well, I'm not really that good with words, I think I'd rather just hear someone talk dirty to me."
Feferi glanced over at Kanaya, winking and snickering quietly. Eridan didn't even notice, his gaze focused intently on the other young man, "An' that fixation… givin' or recievin'?"
"Um, either. I'm not really picky." Sollux really hoped that he didn't come across as a virgin, after all he hadn't really had the chance to figure out WHICH he liked better.
Likes to give and take. Jackpot. "Anythin' else interestin'?"
Sollux sighed, trying to deflect attention off of himself, "Well what about you, you haven't said anything YOU like yet."
"Fair enough," he said, taking another swig. "Toppin', dressin' well, an' unique features."
Kanaya piped in, "There's an understatement. He has an adoration for the strange as well as cock!"
"Fuck you, Kan, I got standards about what that cock is attached to, too, y'know."
Kanaya rearranged her legs as she sat, recalling how his last photoshoot went with a musical laugh, "Oh yes. RICH, strange, and ambiguity to gender."
Eridan carefully balanced his drink on one knee as he proceeded to give Kanaya both middle fingers.
Sollux rubbed the tops of his eyesockets, feeling a twinge of pain for a second.
"Are you okay?" asked Feferi.
Sollux nodded, his eyes going back to Feferi before looking at Eridan again. In his inebriated mind there was something kind of hot about that bad attitude he'd been forced to deal with for the last few weeks. And that death stare he was giving Kanaya.
Kanaya responded in kind by snapping her teeth playfully at Eridan, who stuck his tongue out at her, and almost dropped his drink.
Feferi wrapped an arm around Eridan and nuzzled him. "It's okay, just calm down. Don't be rude in front of a guest."
Eridan gave her a brief squeeze with one arm, "Sol? He ain't a guest, he's a scrawny mead-leech. Fuck me, I'm gonna have to get more a this for next time if we got two a you drinkin' it. Hey Sol, you busy Saturday night? We're doin' this again."
Sollux's absent stare sharpened as he scoffed, "I can pay for myself, I'm not a a girl!" Kanaya then directed a subtle stare at him, "No offense, I mean I'm not some fucking wilting flower, ED."
Before Eridan could respond, Feferi leaned over and flicked Sollux on the forehead. "We all chip in, Eridan just handles fetching and carrying, so be nice."
Eridan grinned, "No, no, Fef, sounds like Sol here just volunteered himself for helpin' me with that, an' if I got me a new lackey, I ain't complainin'."
"Jeez, way to make me sound like your sidekick. Does this mean I have to find my own latex costume and insignia? Because I'm kind of feeling the name 'The Psionic' or 'Megamind' or something."
Kanaya clapped, "Oh I can see it already, you want a lab coat?"
Sollux smirked, gesturing with his arms, "Yep! Latex costume with goggles and a lab coat!"
"Don't you mean spandex?" snickered Feferi, "Dipping you in latex would just let us see everything, heehee..."
Eridan shooshed her, "Now now, Fef, if the man wants to go runnin' around in a skin-tight layer a somethin', with everythin' on show for the world to see, well, ain't that just his god-given right to look like an idiot?" Nevermind that in his own mind, he was already picturing tight, tight fabric, not a suit so much as a second skin, clinging to every bulge and bump and jut of bone...
"Wait, is that what comic book heroes wear? I never actually knew." His eyebrows crinkled in such a way that he was actually serious about that, "Oh shit, well then I guess spandex is what I'm thinking of?"
Kanaya bit her lip lightly with an eyebrow up, "I don't know, I mean, spandex WOULD be easier, but I think you could actually pull off latex."
Sollux looked at her, "Easier how?"
Kanaya continued, "Well, in every aspect really. Latex clings to everything. And I mean Everything." She emphasized with a wink, "Such as your coat."
Eridan snuck a glance at Sollux's nethers, his fuzzy mind fixated on how the bony man would look, exactly how many drinking sessions it would take for Sollux to actually go through with it, and how many more it would take to photograph that lanky, latex-lined ass, before realizing that a lab coat would probably get in the way. Fuck. Meanwhile, Eridan's wandering eyes had not gone unnoticed by Feferi, who giggled and giggled.
Sollux looked at Feferi with a snort, "Is it really that funny?"
Kanaya replied first, "You aren't exactly debunking any computer nerd stereotypes you know."
Feferi kept giggling, glancing at Eridan, who blushed. Fuck, she noticed. "She gets like this when she's been drinkin'. Fef's a fuckin' giggle machine anyway, so it's not too surprisin'," he shrugged, playing it off.
Feferi snickered and nodded, playing along, "Oh! Yeah! Right! I do. Drinky drinky wheeee! Not that all this talk of ridiculous costumes hasn't played a factor." she laughed.
Kanaya smiled, "Feferi, I can definitely see you in a bikini with a trident. Maybe some goggles. Most intimidating. Now Eridan..." She pondered, uncertain as to what he could possibly wear to fight crime, "I can't even think of anything for you."
Sollux pointed with the hand holding his bottle, "D'ya like pirates? You sound like a pirate anyway. 'Oy ya fuckin' crime lords, get your fuckin' corruption right outta our fairrrr city."
"Who said I'd be stoppin' crime? I could make a fuckin' ace villain," Eridan sneered.
"No you couldn't, there aren't enough scarecrows to victimize," teased Feferi, before dissolving into yet more snickers.
Eridan rounded on her, trapping her in a headlock and giving her a noogie, crying out, "Fear my villainy! Let my fuckin' reign a terror commence!"
Sollux subtly blushed, biting his lip and looking in another direction, trying desperately to not think about Eridan as a villain, holding a gun on him and threatening to kill him while simultaneously pulling his collar down. Fuck. He probably would make an excellent villain.
Kanaya drummed her fingers on her glass, still contemplating, "What colors though? I mean Sollux is obvious; red and blue, Feferi's pink, classic for those two to pair up, what about you?"
"Royal purple!" came Feferi's muffled response, as she tried to shove Eridan off her, "You should use your old RP name too!"
He let her go, smirking, "You think I should bring back Dualscar, eh?"
Feferi smoothed down her hair as best she could, sitting upright and regaining some dignity. "Absolutely! You're snooty enough to go for something regal, and if you're Sollux's nemesis, well, red and blue make purple. Think of the comic book covers! Perfectly complimentary!"
Sollux's nemesis, huh? Eridan admitted, he liked the sound of that. Plotting against him, being his downfall, crushing him beneath his feet, but not a textbook villain, of course. No deadly traps, just keeping the hero on his toes, bending him to his whim...viva la villainy.
Sollux scratched his arm before taking another long drink, "Actually, um, I kind of like yellow."
"Even better. Yellow and violet are on opposite ends of the color wheel. That goes just as well with the red and blue all three primaries!" Kanaya seemed to get quite excited about this.
"It begins..." sighed Eridan, hopefully masking the whirling thoughts in his mind.
Sollux in costume, complete with a lab coat, flapping in the wind, posing heroically, his costume managing to show more than even bare skin could, a welcome change to those baggy shirts that hint at the structure underneath but reveal nothing. Himself, in something appropriately dramatic and alluring, clothed in layers of fabric and intrigue, an evil genius devoted solely to the sexy, sexy downfall of one single hero. Trapping him in his machinations, in his grip and at his mercy. Do you expect me to talk? No, Mister Captor, I expect you to scream.
Sollux looked confused, pointing at Kanaya, "Is this something she does often?"
"I make character and costume designs in my spare time. Fashion and costuming are hobbies of mine outside of my major," Kanaya spoke flippantly, but with a peek of pride in her words.
"Oh, should I be expecting some character sketches along with that video of Eridan fighting scarecrows you're inevitably going to send your new friend within the next few days?" Sollux waggled his eyebrows hopefully at her.
"It is entirely possible. Don't worry, I'll be gentle." She papped Sollux on the shoulder as they both laughed.
Feferi giggled, "I'm the one with a video, expect an email soon!" She shot two thumbs up, and Eridan shot her a look that, if looks could kill, would have at least caused her severe discomfort.
Sollux gave a huge smile, "Yes! KN, KN, if you draw me, draw FF too!" He looked over at Feferi, "I bet you look really cute in a bikini. Best sidekick."
Kanaya chuckled at their newly appointed nicknames, seeing Eridan's face, and played along, "I'll see what I can do."
Feferi scooted over to Kanaya, "Can I get thigh-high boots? I like those."
Sollux imagined that for a second, "Would you even be able to walk in boots like that?"
Feferi continued to gush uninterrupted, "Oh, and gloves! I need sexy gloves! And Eridan needs a piratey costume too and...oh. Ooooh. Ooooh!"
Her eyes went wide and she began to bounce around as she sat, "You guys! You guys you guys you guys! You know what we need to do! We need to do this! April Fools day, let's get costumes and chase each other around the campus! We have to do this! This is a thing we have to do!"
Eridan choked on a sip of lager, "Fef, that's a terrible idea!"
"I know! Let's do it anyway!" she laughed.
Kanaya raised her hand, "I'm game. I'm sure we can find more people interested if we tried."
Sollux immediately thought of Aradia and looked at Feferi, "Aradia would be interested. Like I said, she used to LARP in high school. She kind of reminds me of you."
"Oooh! Bring her! Yes! Oh, this is gonna be great! Hehehehe!"
Eridan snickered despite himself. "If we're gonna go through with this complete idiocy, I'm gonna need a proper coat, an' if we got too many heroes, we're gonna need a few more villains. I ain't got time to chase all a you, I gotta be selective."
Sollux and Feferi continued to prattle back and forth to each other, seemingly not noticing how Eridan was giving the two of them a hard stare, "Kan, I'll talk to you about the costume when I'm sober enough to know better. I think we best get back to our rooms, though. Sol, you're helpin' me drag the cooler back."
Kanaya saw exactly what was going on, but didn't fight it, instead waving with a knowing grin, "I'm sure there are plenty with just as much villainy as you, Eridan. Good night!"
Sollux finished his mead with a nod, "Sure, all right. Because let's have Gumby do some heavy lifting, that makes sense." He made his way to his feet, "I'll ask AA if she can come next week."
"Stairs, you idiot, an' this thing is full a melted ice an' glass bottles. You get the back an' I'll get the front. We're stoppin' at the recyclin' bin before we dump out the water." Eridan stood, picking up his half of the cooler, waiting impatiently for Sollux, before heading up the stairs towards the exit.
"Yeah yeah yeah." Sollux rolled his eyes and obeyed, walking out with him.
When the two men were out of sight, Kanaya laughed, "Oh those two. Eridan has it bad."
"No kidding, I think this is going to be interesting! Oh, I'm excited to see what happens!"
"I'm drawing those two the minute we get back to our dorm."
"Show me tomorrow at lunch," she giggled, "I want to see before they do."
Kanaya cackled wickedly.
Meanwhile Sollux and Eridan were walking back towards the dorms, Sollux just sort of absently humming something since Eridan had been quiet for the last couple of minutes.
Eridan's mind, though a mite hazy, was atwitter with almost uncomfortably Sollux-themed thoughts. Enchanting eyes. Snarky little sass-pot with a sense of humor and a low alcohol tolerance. Superhero costumes. Dirty talk. Oral fixation. Oral fixation with a tongue that can touch his nose. Eridan was quiet, alright, but only because his mind was screaming, and his loins had woken up from all the noise.
Mid-hum, Sollux let loose a long sentence, "I like your friends, FF's really nice. Oh damn, can I get their names for Facebook?"
Eridan blinked, shaken out of his thoughts, at least enough to register that he was being asked something, "Hm? Sure, I'll tell you tomorrow. Right now I think I just wanna get t'my room."
He had no intention of mentioning what he planned to do before sleeping, of course. What one guy does, thinking about another guy, is nobody's business but his own, and fuck anybody that doesn't understand that. Sol probably does the same thing sometimes in his room, doesn't he? Whoa. Eridan's cheeks flushed and he walked a little faster as his mind filled with what Sollux might do with his own privacy.
As they approached a recycling bin, Sollux dropped his end of the cooler gently, "Hey you're not mad at me are you? I didn't mean to piss you off or something. You've just been quiet and weird and you're the one who's supposed to talk my fuckin' ear off, you know?"
Eridan opened the cooler, and began to throw the bottles into the bin, as he shot back, "Sometimes a body can be quiet an' just think, can't he? Fuck, Sol, you make it sound like a guy can't think without sayin' somethin', which does not speak well for how much you're capable a thinkin', considerin' how quiet you are all a the time, believe you me."
Sollux took a couple of bottles and threw them in as well, emphasizing certain words with a loud clang, "Oh, all right then, pardon me for thinking you had some fucking EMOTIONS all in you or something. Because you know it's not like I know how it FEELS to get your feelings all weird because your friends don't know when to shut UP. Thought you might've been an angry DRUNK or something."
"You think those two'd let me hang 'round if I was an even bigger bastard when I was drunk? Fef'd never speak to me, an' Kan'd tear me in two. Goin' back to somethin' you happened to let slip out a while back, you sayin' we're friends now?" he asked, grinning, looking over the rim of his glasses at Sollux, as he dumped out the water and melting ice from the cooler onto the grass.
"I guess so considering your immunity to me telling you shut the fuck up and leave me alone. That and the whole letting me go to your illegal booze party thing so sure, I guess so." Sollux spoke as they poured, not looking at him, but at the ground to make sure his sandaled feet didn't get soaked from the icy water.
Eridan humphed, tipping the last of it out of the cooler and putting the unopened bottles back in the cooler. He began to drag the cooler back along the path, "I'm immune to everybody's shut-the-fuck-ups. You sure there ain't somethin' special about me, eh?"
"Pfft, like that's not a talent?" Sollux chuckled slightly, "But given you're a redneck pirate, I'd be more surprised if you didn't."
Eridan doubled back, scooping up a handful of not-yet-melted ice and throwing it at Sollux, "Fuck you, Sol!" before taking off, dragging the cooler behind him, laughing.
"Oh you fucking asshole!" Sollux, unable to run in his sandals, instead chose to take them off and throw one at Eridan, hitting his back as he held onto the other one, running after him.
Eridan laughed, the iceless cooler bumping behind him, unopened bottles clinking inside, running towards the dorm. Getting Sollux worked up and hissy was entirely too fun, and if he wasn't sure before, he now knew what his new hobby was going to be.
Sollux picked his shoe off the ground, somewhat pouting as he continued to walk barefoot, leaving Eridan to drag the cooler alone. Once he caught up with him, he rolled his eyes with an exasperated smile, "I fucking hate you."
Eridan wrapped an arm around Sollux's neck, in an affectionate headlock. "Nah, you're gonna love me. You got nobody else, an' I'm the one who can get you mead."
"Oh Mr. Ampora!" Sollux adopted a fake southern belle accent and pretending to swoon while dropping down to slide his shoes back on.
He shrugged, "Way to a man's heart is through his liver."
Reaching the dormitory, he waited at the door, holding it open for Sollux. Sollux didn't think anything of the gesture, instead choosing to push the elevator button, knowing that Eridan was going to need it to get the cooler upstairs. He stood waiting casually, bouncing his foot slightly, not dropping the voice yet, "Oh yes Mistah Ampora I know exactly what youuu need."
A shiver ran through Eridan, but he didn't let it reach his face. "Go on?" he asked, in what he hoped seemed like a disinterested, bored sort of manner.
Sollux chuckled sheepishly, his voice breaking back into his low one before piping back up, "Oh uhh, I don't know, um. A lady isn't so inCLIIINED to think but I'm sure you wouldn't mind a little of MY honey."
Behind Eridan's eyes, he entertained brief flashes of Sollux, particularly drunk Sollux, painted in honey. With any luck, he was too drunk to notice the awkward boner that was had been threatening for far too long already. "I dunno, Sol, you're pretty sour. Probably wouldn' even be worth tryin'. How sweet you think you can get?" he grinned.
Sollux smirked before making doe eyes at Eridan, complete with batting eyelashes, "I can be as swEEEEEt as tea for you, sugar!"
If ever there was a time when making out drunkenly in an elevator sounded like a good idea, this was that moment. Steady on, old boy, he's too drunk to mean that. But still...no harm in playing along, is there? "Sweet as tea? Unlikely, you're sour as lemons, through an' through, Sol. I'm not sure I can believe it 'til I see it." He dragged the cooler out of the elevator, down the hall, towards their dorm rooms.
Sollux's voice dropped to a low drawl, completely abandoning the attempted falsetto, "A lady don't kiss and tell."
Eridan had no sassy come-back for that, just fierce blushing he hoped Sollux hadn't seen, as they came up to their rooms. "Well Sol, here we are. See you tomorrow, if you ever bother comin' out a your room. If you don't, I'll come an' drag you for the next booze run."
Sollux rocked on his heels a bit, not quite looking up, "Um, uh, you can knock if you want. You know. Because even if I said no you would ignore it anyway?"
Eridan quirked a brow. Was that an invitation? "Sol, the recluse a the whole world, are you askin' me to come in an' fuck with your routine? Careful, Sol, a guy'd think you was sweet on him."
Sollux snorted and unlocked his door, "Dude, opening a door doesn't mean I want to fuck you."
Oh that was it; he needed to take the damn opportunity.
Eridan abandoned the cooler in front of his door and took the few steps necessary to lean just beside Sollux's doorjamb, "Didn' say you did, Sol, but let's face it, you talk to hardly anybody else, your social circle practically fuckin' doubled tonight...you're a fuckin' hermit, Sol. An' I got the keys to unlockin' you, now, so you're pretty much my bitch now, ain't you? You're jus' a little more honey-wine away from lettin' me make that honey mine. If I felt like it, heh."
Sollux then went completely red with not a single comeback aside from, "Fucking corny weirdo."
He stepped inside and shut the door, immediately locking it behind him as he leaned against it, trying to catch his breath and feeling a strong pulse in his jeans. Fuck.
