Welcome to Chapter 11 of Unsought Shadows! Honestly, I only had one reason to continue this story when I did, and her name is Chana-san. Or Shayla080310. She helped me through writing this, and she's been waiting so dutifully, and giving me one wonderful review after another. This one is for her! And 12 is around half done as we speak, but it probably won't be posted until next week.

Disclaimer: If I owned Death Note, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. And really, what will you get if you sue me? A contraband violin (which will probably no longer be in my possession come August) and a five-year old electric keyboard?


Things were going well at Mortar's house. We were allowed full access to all of her stuff (so of course Matt had completely overtaken her gaming systems) and any room in the house except hers and her dad's. I was currently lying on the bed of what we unofficially considered "my room", staring up at the ceiling. What was I doing? Well, pretty much nothing but thinking about how I was so totally screwed.

I never thought of my life as anything but a sort of dimmed version of hell that I was just wading through, waiting for something great to happen that would change everything. Did I expect to suddenly find myself hiding in the home of a pyromaniac teenager with a bunch of criminals? No. Hell no. What kind of question is that? I gave a wry sort of smirk to myself, accompanied by a dry chuckle. The kind of question you never think to have, because the event in question isn't something people consider possible, let alone probable.

But why was I screwed exactly?

Because there was no. freaking. way. that I was going to be able to go back to my ordinary, boring life after this. So what if I didn't really like the way things were now- crazy and uncomfortable, and not to mention illegal in every sense of the word. The fact remained that I would choose it over my old life ANY DAY.

Make no mistake, I still wanted to be home, if only for a break from all of the illegality and noise and everything, but I could never just stay in that little apartment with "Elliot" like nothing was different. Knowing my cousin, he would probably make me try, but it wasn't gonna happen.

I jolted upright, my musings shattered, as the door opened slowly, causing an almost painfully long "squeeeeaaak" sound. The way things had gone since we'd showed up at Mo's house, I was fully expecting her or Matt to come along and try and convince me that Mello and I were perfect together or something. This time, though, the blond himself decided to grace me with his presence.

I think my brain kind of shut off, or flickered out for a minute because I didn't say anything once he entered. Neither did he, and I realized that I had just jolted up from laying down, resulting in my being somewhat hunched over at the middle, and the shock had made me gasp. I don't know about you, but when I gasp, I stop breathing for a few seconds after, so I'm left breathing a little heavier than normal, but not panting. In this case, however, it certainly did look bad. So, in all: panting, plus hunched over at the waist.

And of course, as I realized exactly what the situation had the potential to look like, I began to blush, and I felt a couple drops of sweat begin to pool on my forehead. And the more I blushed, the worse it looked. Judging from the look in Mello's eyes, I'd say he agreed.

I looked away from him, wiping my forehead. "I-It's really not what it looks like, Mello…"

Virgin Mary mother of God… I thought. This cannot possibly get any worse. Absolutely not. No way, no how.

He looked me over slightly, and seemed to buy the explanation—I mean the truth! Obviously it was the truth!

He came into the room, shutting the door gently behind him. I crossed my legs as he moved to sit on the bed, and I suddenly found myself a bit uncomfortable…you know, comparatively. I mean, I'd been in the same house—the same room as Mello for quite some time now, and I'd pretty much gotten used to it. But most of the time, Matt was there. And I still didn't really know Mello that well. He was a criminal after all.

So now that we've passed my whole "not-what-it-looks-like" episode, let's assess the new situation.

In all: Blonde young adult male who is a stalker that is apparently (according to Matt) completely obsessed with me for reasons unknown. He is quieter than usual, and has just walked into "my" room, and is now sitting next to me on the bed.

I could say that I mentally "let out a stream of curses so foul a sailor would scream", but it's honestly not true. I mean, who just says a series of random curse words with no context? I never understood the saying myself. So I pretty much just repeated "Fuck my life" over and over again as the situation progressed.

My brain was forced to get over its moment of astonishment as Mello started talking. "Hey Near," he said, while I struggled to catch up to what he was saying. "There's something I need to talk to you about."

Oh god no...please let this not be what I think it is

"We're going to need to figure out a plan to keep you out of Rod's reach. I don't want anything to happen to you."

Oh… Instantly, all the tightness in my body that had built up waiting for him to say something…er, completely different than what he did say, was g-o-n-e.

Sure I was relieved…but…why do I also feel disappointed?


We didn't end up figuring out a plan. In fact, the majority of the time he was there, he spent explaining things to me about our options. For example, if I decided I wanted to stay with them and risk getting caught by the mafia, then there were a few different places that we could end up, and a few different ways we could get there unnoticed. Dangerously, but unnoticed.

Honestly, from the gleam in Mello's eyes when he discussed the more treacherous methods of escape, I half expected "then we pack ourselves in a box and mail ourselves to a friend of mine in the Russian black-market," to come out of his mouth.

The way Mello explained the basic outline of getting me home to my cousin sounded faintly interesting when he said it, but I gathered that the gist of it was "We sneak you in, make the mafia think you're still with us, and you hide out in the apartment for the rest of your natural life."

Great option, right? Or would be, maybe. You know, if I were L.

Please refrain from any jokes about our familial relationship. Please. I beg of you.

Anyways, at the end of the conversation, it felt like I knew more, but we hadn't really made any progress.

And, I was still thinking about that. And for those of you out there who didn't catch onto the not-so-subtle hint during our conversation, I mean that I had pretty much no idea how to classify my relationship with Mello. Not anymore, at least. Before, he'd been the creepy older guy who was all about the perverted cameras and stuff. Then, we kind of became friends…kinda. But now…what were we? Friends didn't seem like the right word. The atmosphere wasn't relaxed enough for friendship, nor was it tense enough for me to say that I didn't like him at all.

Which brought me to my next concern: I want to deny it, but I won't lie. I guarantee that it was disappointment. That's what I felt when Mello took our conversation in such a different direction.

WHY?

I shook my head, clearing it of those kinds of thoughts. If I'm going to keep having these little monologue spells, I thought to myself wryly. I should get some kind of journal to record them in.

Hm. Journals are supposed to reduce stress and stuff, right?

"That's what they say." I whipped my head up at the voice. This time, it was Mortar. I looked at her in confusion for a moment and she smirked. "You know, you talk to yourself when you're alone. I've noticed that a couple times before."

"Can I help you?" I asked evenly.

"We need to talk." I blinked. I'd never seen Mortar so completely serious before. Since we began staying here, she'd always been either perky and childishly excited, or batshit insanely evil over her pyromaniacy. "I think you realize what about."

I winced. Of course I knew what about. I'd just been thinking about it moments before. She seemed to read my mind, because she let that evil smirk come over her serious lips again.

"Yeah, I know you probably don't wanna, but I wanted to get the chance to have a little conversation with you before you all head out." She paused before clarifying. "I get the feeling that Mello will want to move on soon. He hates being tied down to places for very long, and you guys have already been here for quite some time. I'm honestly surprised he's been so accepting. This has been the safest place thus far for you lot of course, but he's been in situations where he chanced his own life, and Matt's on his stupid pride and determination to fight." Her eyes softened from their cold, lecturing stare to a more gentle look, like she was really trying to get to me.

"I think it says a lot about his feelings for you if he's willing to actually take the safe road for once."

Of course that was her angle. I had guessed it the minute she started talking about how accepting danger as a real threat was out of character for Mello. But hearing it actually come out of her mouth? It was like she was berating me for not getting closer to him.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this from me, Near, but I'm gonna tell you anyways. Mello was always straight before you came into the picture. In fact, he was with me at one point. We were both younger, and he'd just gotten into this life, so he wanted someone to have on his arm that he knew could take care of herself. So he chose me, even though I was only twelve. I had been in for two years already, so I had a reputation he could use."

Something clicked, and I butted in with a comment. "But if that was five years ago, then he was sixteen when you were together?"

Amusement flicked over Mortar's features and I got the feeling that I was missing something important. "Actually no. I can see why Mello lied to you, but he's only eighteen. He probably thought that his way of life wouldn't seem that bad if he was a full-fledged, legal-for-everything adult in your eyes. But if he told you his back-story already, then I don't see why, especially considering your situation. He's been tangled in this underground world of ours since he dropped out of middle school."

I blinked, about to comment, but the girl cut me off and continued her story.

"Anyways, he broke it off with me after only a year because he didn't want to feel tied down, or obligated to treat me the way guys are supposed to treat their girlfriends, even though I assured him that I didn't care about that stuff. Plus, it was too hard to have that kind of thing going on when I was still so new to the crime world, and just barely able to hide it all from my dad. I was okay with it. You know, I was young, resilient, and had plenty of time.

"But Mello never got with any girls after that. The only person he was ever attached to was Matt, and when I questioned him about that relationship, he said that he was straight. I was beginning to think of him as totally asexual, but then I got a call from Matt, saying that they wouldn't be around for a while. I asked why, and all Matt would tell me was 'Mello found someone.' "

Mortar smiled, as if the memory made her so happy that it couldn't be contained. "I was glad. Of course, then when Matt clued me in on this little love interest, I knew there would be complications. And aside from the obvious, I'm sure Mello did too. That's why he tried to stay anonymous. He wanted to make sure not only that you were safe from your world, but that you were also safe from ours." She paused again, as if to give me time to mull it over, but I gave her a look, silently asking her to continue.

"I'll tell you right now, Near, that if it wasn't for Mello's situation in the Mafia, he would've pursued you properly and publicly, all consequences be damned, even if he was forty. And I know that despite all the recent events, including you basically rejecting him to his face without even sounding like you care, that he really loves you."

I don't know red my face was at that point, both from her stories about Mello, and from the way she was talking to me. I felt like a child, and she was my mother, telling me how disappointed she was, and how my actions were unfixable, even though she'd never actually said it. But no matter how badly I was blushing, I went completely pale at her next words.

"So I have a question for you, Near; How is it that you think you feel about him now?"

I didn't know what to say other than a quietly muttered, "…I don't know…"

I'm sure that she would've sat there for hours, waiting for me to speak, to say something that would give any indication of my thoughts, but we were only there for around a minute before Matt barged into the room, looking frantic. He didn't even comment on the fact that we were alone together, especially with the way I was looking. I blinked, fully having expected that kind of reaction.

"You guys, we've gotta go!" He said. "Mello's on the phone with Sawyer and Lucy right now, and they'll be here soon. We spotted some guys on the roof of one of the neighbor's houses, and we tapped their radio signals. They've got more guys coming in soon. They're gonna search your place, so you've gotta lock down."

Instantly, Mo was on her feet, running out the door, while I remained there, confused as to what was going on. Matt signaled with his hand for me to follow him, barking out "Come on!" as he started to run. My heart started to beat faster as I realized that we might just be in another life/death situation.


So...? Good or bad? Emotionally satisfying or not? I feel like I have failed you, Chana-san!