It's been a long time but I finally updated. This one is longer than usual so it makes up for the time. Features Yuuko and Doumeki too, which is probably why it took so long.
Shop assistant
XX
Of all the buildings that Fai had ever had the pleasure of working in, he liked this one the best.
Maybe because he had to do little but be polite and cheerful and his superiors would give him bonuses for his 'perky attitude'. It was the easiest of jobs that he could have imagined - fairly well paying and reasonably fun.
It was unlike anywhere that he had ever worked before, maybe because, technically, it was not anywhere at all. The floors and walls were pristine white, both wide and tall and filled with emptiness. Hundreds upon hundreds of doors were lined on either side, standing next to and above each other like doors to a block of flats. Only the main doors were automatic, sliding open and close as each customer passed.
Fai stood in the centre of the giant room, feeling as if he were standing in the centre of the universe. He adjusted the black tie around his neck, tugging at parts of his uniform as the main doors slid open once again.
His smile was almost as automatic as the doors. Taking a step forward, he swept his arm across the floor in one grand gesture, ready to receive his customer.
"Welcome to Ebay interdimensional! Your one stop shop for all your consumer needs!"
The man that had entered tipped his hat gratefully and passed without a word. Fai watched him disappear through one of the smaller doors without letting his smile falter, though no sooner did the man disappear did the main doors slide open again.
"Welcome to Ebay interdimensional! For thousands of auctions spanning space and time!" Fai greeted cheerfully.
"Well, well, it must be Hitsuzen."
Such a familiar, silky voice was instantly recognisable. Even without looking at the heavy lidded crimson eyes or the mass of black hair spilling past her shoulders, he would have known her immediately.
"Yuuko-san! What brings you here?"
"I wanted to check how my items are doing," Yuuko tossed a stray strand of hair over her shoulder, glancing at the doors that surrounded her.
"I thought you only sold things when asked."
A playful smile fluttered across her lips. "I sell wishes. This is more of a garage sale to clear out all the clutter."
"You don't seem like the kind of person to throw things away," Fai observed, tilting his head to one side.
Yuuko's chuckle was both playful and mysterious, only slightly edged with something more sinister. "Oh, but I'm not. Every item has its own fate and will meet with the person it should. I'm just getting a little extra cash this way!" she added, eyes flashing with delight. Her eyes flickered again to the doors around them before resting on Fai's smile. "So how's work?" she asked; though her words seemed too imply something deeper, Fai took what she had said at face value.
"Well, calculating the interdimensional exchange rate is rather hard. We had someone attempting to pay with pointy stones once…" he trailed off. There was no real reason to tell Yuuko anything, as she seemed to already know how he felt the moment that she had stepped into the building.
"And Kurogane?" she asked anyway.
Fai laughed and eased a little bit. "Ah, don't worry about Kuro-chan. He's doing perfectly fine!"
As if on cue, a door burst open, slamming into the wall with a loud bang before snapping shut again.
"Dimension bitch!"
There was nothing else to look at except the two people standing in the middle of the white room and it was towards these two people that Kurogane approached, looked both irritated and angry.
"See? A happy, healthy worker!" Fai piped.
Kurogane was looking particularly murderous, but without a suitable weapon all that he could do was snarl. "You have some explaining to do, old hag!"
"Oh my, it seems that you saw it," Yuuko chuckled, not looking the least guilty.
Fai cast a quizzical glance from one face to another. Fortunately, he did not have long to wait before being enlightened.
"My…my ginryuu…you're putting it up for auction?" Kurogane was almost incredulous. His expression shifted between phases of disbelief and outright anger.
"At a very reasonable price too!" Yuuko added with obscene cheerfulness.
"Give me back my sword." Kurogane lowered his voice to a dangerously soft tone. It was a tone that promised the wrath of a homicidal ninja. It was the tone that would have most people cowering in fear but Yuuko, unfazed by his rage, bore it all under her cool crimson gaze.
"But you have a perfectly good one right there," Yuuko pointed down, causing Kurogane's face to redden. "Besides, if you can afford it, you can always bid for it."
"Unfortunately, we're broke," Fai shrugged, earning himself a glare from Kurogane for speaking the truth so easily.
"In that case, there's nothing I can do about it," Yuuko shrugged, hardly being sympathetic. "One more thing, Fai."
The wizard pointed at himself as if to say 'who, me?' Though he already had an idea of what the dimension witch wanted.
"I know what you're thinking and you need not worry. Regarding your tattoo, it is quite safe…I sold it for quite a profit!" she added, laughing maniacally as Fai felt his shoulders involuntarily slump.
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Kurogane growled through gritted teeth.
"I brought two children with me. Two young boys from high school. If you see them, please say hello," she ignored his question. "Well, I better look at the auctions now. If you see any weapons of mass disintegration, let me know!"
"Yuuko-san sure is merciless," the wizard murmured as he watched her disappear through one of the doors.
"I'm going to buy back my sword."
"But you have a perfectly good one right there!" Fai pointed down, echoing the witch's words.
"Dammit, you're just as crazy as that witch!" Kurogane felt himself redden even further. He was not appreciating so many innuendoes made at his expense.
"How will you afford it?" Fai asked, quickly changing the subject before Kurogane decided that he could kill just as well with his hands.
He shrugged. "I'll sell some stuff that we don't need. Old clothes, things we picked up from other worlds…"
"Here. You can sell these," Fai rummaged through the pockets of his uniform. "I don't need them and besides, your sword is important to you isn't it?"
The ninja took the offering without a word. Though he felt as if he should thank the wizard, he said nothing. Fai only smiled and ushered him towards the auction rooms.
XX
Auction number one - A lovely set of girl's clothes
SOLD for 15,000 yen to Tomoyo-san
Auction number two - Kurogane's collection of 'ninja manga'
SOLD for 3,800 silver pieces to Hinoto-san
Auction number three - The wishing pebbles from Fai's pockets
SOLD for 20 rubbles to Kujaku-san
XX
"Wow…expensive," Fai attempted to whistle.
"What's this?" Kurogane stole behind him, peeking over the man's shoulder at whatever it was that he was staring at.
"Security nets," he replied without taking his eyes from the display cases where the 'Buy it now' items were safely stored.
"What do you need a security net for?" Kurogane frowned.
"I have one in Celes. Well, it's home made actually," Fai browsed through the cases. "Even if you take in the exchange rate, I couldn't afford one so I was forced to turn someone very important to me into a makeshift net, but these things really are marvellous," he continued, still transfixed on the shiny nets gleaming from behind glass.
"Hey, wizard."
"I don't see why they should be so expensive though. I just want a simple one. One that is strong, portable and can hold back magic for a few thousand years," Fai muttered to himself, oblivious. "One with good camouflage and five years insurance."
"Hey!" Kurogane coughed, waking Fai back to reality.
XX
Auction number four - Piffle dragonfly parts
SOLD for 1700 yules to Shougo-san
Auction number five - Books of LeCourt (Stolen during the raid on the library)
SOLD for three sheets of gold leaf to the almighty, invincible Guru Clef…san
Auction number six - Sorata's wallet (Hanshin original)
SOLD for 300 yen to…Sorata-san
XX
"So, if you do this…and then this…" "Fai muttered, tapping at the calculator on his laps, "plus our salaries, brings our earnings to 70,000 yen," he announced.
"The bidding was currently 36,000 yen. This is more than enough," Kurogane nodded, fighting the satisfied smile trying to cross his lips.
A strange look crossed Fai's face. Kurogane was not sure how to describe it. It was not quite happy but it was not a sad look either. It was an oddly calm yet empty expression that left the wizard looking beautifully cold.
"I hope that you can get what you wish for," he spoke softly, almost inaudibly, his words meant for Kurogane and Kurogane alone.
"With that money, we could have probably bought one of those security nets…a cheap one," he mumbled.
"It doesn't matter," Fai shrugged, smiling serenely. In a moment, the look was gone and there was only a whitewash of cheerfulness in its place. "If we have money remaining, I expect Kuro-wan to treat me!"
It took them half an hour to find the door leading to the auction of ginryuu. Since Ebay interdimensional did not technically exist anywhere, it seemed to have its own rules of physics and places seemed to switch with one another completely spontaneously. Kurogane was grateful to have Fai around to track their way. Without the mage following the random traces of magic, he would have been impossibly lost amongst the hundreds of doors within the building.
By the time that they arrived at the auctioning room, the price had shot up to 45,000 yen with twenty minutes left on the auction time EMT (Edonis Mean Time.)
All the seats within the room were currently occupied and a greying old man stood at the front behind a podium, describing the item.
The two settled at the back of the room, watching the auctioneer carefully looking over his notes. The old man had a throaty cough and he peered through gold-rimmed glasses at his papers. "We have here on sale a replica of a katana belonging to one brave swordsman. Original markings and stains all authentic."
"Stains?" Kurogane's anger flared.
"Was in the possession of said swordsman's son before pawned to the witch of dimensions," the man continued.
"Pawned? It was stolen! Forced from me! It was coercion! Coercion!" the ninja yelled, attracting the stares of a few people, whilst Fai tried to calm him.
"Bidding resumes at 45,00 yen."
The room erupted into action. Amongst cries of '47,000!' '49,000!' Fai watched as Kurogane raised his hands and shouted, "60,000 yen!"
The entire room fell into a revered hush. All eyes suddenly turned towards them and Kurogane's bold statement. One could have felt a pin drop in that silence. The time ticked by and no one moved, perhaps everyone was too stunned to move. Even the auctioneer was agape at the sudden rise in the price.
In the pregnant silence that followed, footsteps echoing towards the auction room could be clearly heard. The door opened to the late comer; a tall, gawky boy, he seemed Japanese, wearing a high school uniform.
Fai opened his mouth to say 'Welcome to Ebay interdimensional!' but the boy held his hand up as if to command the silence dominating the room and calmly said "65,000 yen."
The reaction of the crowd was phenomenal. As if the spell of silence was broken, the bidding resumed, faster and more furious than before. Only ten minutes remained until the bidding would end.
Kurogane cast the boy a sharp but deadly glare. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded, taking no pains in hiding his hostility.
"67,000 yen!"
"68,500 yen," the boy said nothing, only speaking whenever he wanted to place a higher bid.
"You're really pissing me off!" Kurogane snarled at the stoic high school boy. Only the two of them remained still actively taking part in the auction, locked in a furious battle to trump the other. "69,000 yen!"
"69,500 yen."
"Why the hell do you want my sword so badly?"
At first, the boy did not answer but when he finally did, his words came slowly and strongly, as if he had complete conviction in every syllable expressed. "It's a good sword. I feel like I can protect the person I care about with it."
Kurogane bared his teeth in a devilish grin. "That's a nice compliment but save your sentiments. 70,000 yen!"
The hall was ushered into another complete hush. The three of them could feel the eyes of the bidders all patiently watching them, hoping, expecting someone to counter Kurogane's bid. No one did.
"Is that all?" the auctioneer peered across the many faces. "Bidding closes in three minutes," he announced, lifting his gavial. "Two minutes," he called. "One minute!"
"70,000 yen," the boy calmly raised a stoic hand, "and a box of pocky."
The gavial slammed down before anyone could protest. "Sold! To the nonchalant-looking young man in the generic high-school uniform for 70,000 yen and a box of pocky!" the auctioneer announced and clapped his hands together, signalling the end of the auction.
Fai felt slightly moved. He wondered if he had just witnessed a historical moment take place but thought nothing more of it. Kurogane was staring at him incredulously, as if demanding what the hell had happened.
"Well, this is Ebay interdimensional; practically everything and anything can be counted as currency," he explained.
"Beaten…by pocky?" Kurogane felt the muscles in his mouth twitching uncomfortably.
The crowd filed out of the room and the boy that had beaten him had also disappeared, leaving only Fai and Kurogane alone in an empty auction room before the next auction would take place.
"Cheer up, Kuro-rin, it's not the end of the world…worlds," he lightly patted the ninja's shoulder. "My tattoo was gone a long time ago," he added in a whisper. Again, that look crossed his face but it was gone the moment Kurogane tried to scrutinise it.
He realised that the wizard was right. He was not the only one who had lost something and yet he had been dragging Fai around in order to get it back. Though he had not complained, Kurogane took a moment to wonder at the man's selflessness.
"I don't mind," he said, trying to convince himself that what he spoke was the truth. A small, wry smile crossed his face. "I have a perfectly good sword right here."
"I like that sword better," Fai agreed, glad that this sword could not be auctioned off; it was already in his possession.
The auctions were completely random. I wonder how Doumeki got so much money. Maybe Yuuko gave him a little pocket money (but that money will go right back to her since he bought her sword. Crafty Yuuko.)
