Kate tossed and turned in her bed, fighting back visions that she didn't want to remember. She saw her mother lying dead in the alley, blood pooling all around her, with no one there to help her. She saw her dad with a bottle in his hand passing out before even making it to the lounge in her apartment. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make the visions go away.
She was used to it, it happened every so often but she still didn't like it. It still brought tears to her eyes and fear to her heart. She didn't think she'd ever be able to rid those memories completely, she wished she could, but they were too powerful.
It was part of the reason why she was looking forward to finally becoming detective. She knew she would have more resources to look into her mother's case. She could finally find the guy that did this to her mother, to her father, to her family. They would finally have some answers, and she hoped that once she had them, the visions would begin to fade. Nothing she could do would bring her mother back, but she felt like she couldn't move on with her life until she found the answers she so desperately craved.
Her dad was right though when he said she didn't need answers to share memories of her mother, but she still didn't feel right sharing them. It was too difficult. She was glad he was able to talk about her, and since coming out of rehab he was doing really well. It made things easier for her, but it still didn't make it all better.
Eventually she gave up trying to sleep, knowing the visions were just going to reappear whenever she closed her eyes. It was still only 2am in the morning and she guessed it would be another five hours before anyone else would be up. Remembering the book she had in the car, she decided she would read for a while.
Once she had retrieved her book Kate went to the kitchen to get a bottle of water but as she turned from the refrigerator Martha appeared out of nowhere and Kate almost jumped out of her skin, dropping the bottle and her book on the floor.
"Oh sorry dear," Martha said quietly. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"I didn't hear you coming. I thought everyone was asleep."
"I heard something so I had to come check it out. I thought maybe Richard was sleep walking again."
"He sleep walks?"
"He used to as a child, although as far as I'm aware, it stopped when he reached his teenage years."
Kate laughed and reached down to pick up her water bottle, Martha moved towards her to pick up the book that had landed further out in front of her.
"Oh, what do we have here?" Martha said looking at the cover of the book. "You actually brought one of his books with you? Well that's quite a surprise. I thought you were trying to hide how much you enjoyed his books."
"Yeah, I am. You won't tell him I've got it here will you? I grabbed it just before leaving home, and I didn't even think twice. I've had it in the car since arriving so that he wouldn't see it, but I couldn't sleep so I decided I might as well get it out and read."
Martha nodded, and then took a seat, gesturing for Kate to take the one next to her.
"Do you often have trouble sleeping Kate?" Martha asked. "Is everything okay?"
"This happens probably a couple of times a month. I'm not sure if you know much about why my dad was in rehab or what happened to send him there. I don't know what he's told Rick, or what Rick has told you…"
"Richard really hasn't mentioned it. He knows that what he's been told, has been in confidence, and he won't betray his friendship with your father."
"You raised him well Martha," Kate said honestly.
"Thanks, it means a lot to hear that. I know I made mistakes, but considering the life he had, he's turned out okay."
"He's better than okay, he's really quite amazing," Kate said before she was able to stop or think about the words that were coming out.
Martha just smiled. "I'm glad you think so." She reached out and took Kate's hand in hers, trying to make her feel at ease. "So tell me, why can't you sleep?"
"My mum…" she paused, still really unsure about how much she was ready to say. "She died when I was nineteen and dad took it really hard," she said, deciding she didn't really need to go into details, nor was she ready to. "So every so often I just have dreams, memories of the past five or so years. Not the good memories, just the horrible ones, and then I struggle with them, but by the next night I'm usually fine. I guess the movie just got to me more than I thought tonight."
"Are you sure that's all? I feel like you're not telling me something."
Kate thought for a moment. Did she want to share anything more with Martha? Sure, they were spending a large amount of time together, but she just didn't feel like she was the right person to be sharing it all with.
When Kate didn't respond Martha knew she was not going to get anything more from her at this point. "It's ok dear, you don't have to tell me. But don't hold on to it all okay. Make sure you share what you're going through with others. It'll begin to eat away at you if you don't."
"Thanks Martha, I think I'll go back to my room now to read. I'll see you in the morning."
Martha watched as the young woman walked back up the stairs. She could see that Kate was hurting, and she wished she knew how to help. In the end it was up to Kate. She was the only one who could share whatever it was that was bothering her, and no one was going to be able to force it out of her.
After reading for an hour Kate was feeling restless again. There was too much playing on her mind to even concentrate on the words in front of her.
A few minutes later she found herself outside on the beach looking up at the stars. Wide open spaces were exactly what she needed. Space to just relax and put everything out of her mind.
She wasn't out there long before she felt the presence of someone else. Jolting herself upright she looked around to see Castle making his way down the beach to where she was laying.
"What are you doing out here?" he gently asked when he reached her.
"I couldn't sleep. You?"
"Couldn't sleep either."
Castle lay down on the sand beside Kate and she lay herself back down on the ground.
"You okay?" he asked after a moment of silence.
"Yeah."
"You should know that if you need to talk to anyone about anything, I'd be more than happy to lend you my ears," he said with a smile, hoping to get a smile back. Kate always looked most beautiful when she smiled.
"Thanks. And I'm sorry for last night. For pushing you away, I just wasn't sure how to deal with things. And my dad, he's the only one that understands what I went through."
"Really, it's okay," Rick said. "You don't need to apologise. I'm sorry for not stopping the movie. I should have known."
"No, it's not your fault. Please don't blame yourself."
"I still…" Rick started, and looked up to the sky.
"No, no more talk of that Rick. It's not your fault."
Rick nodded, unsure if Kate was even looking at him. He could have said more, he wanted to say more, but he didn't want to upset her or say the wrong thing, and at such an early hour of the morning, he was sure he'd end up saying something which he shouldn't.
Everything went silent again with the only noise coming from the gentle waves crashing on the shore.
"The stars really are beautiful aren't they?" Kate said softly.
"They really are."
"Laying out here, just looking up at them, it's calming, don't you think?"
"Mhmm. It's nice. But it kinda makes you wonder just what's out there, and how small our lives are in comparison."
"Yeah"
There were no huge conversations between them, they both just lay there gazing up towards the sky. The silence between them wasn't awkward, it was almost comforting. They didn't need conversation, they didn't need anything but a moment knowing they weren't alone. And laying there beside each other, that's exactly what they had at that moment. Even if they couldn't come out and completely admit it to one another, they knew they had each other.
It wasn't until Rick saw Kate shiver a moment later that he realised she had only a singlet top and shorts on, and it wasn't a particularly warm night.
"You must be cold, we should go back inside," he suggested.
"I don't think I can sleep yet."
"We'll put a movie on then, you'll get sick if you stay out here like this."
"A movie sounds good."
"Your choice then. Whatever you want to watch is fine with me," he replied.
They helped each other up out of the sand and walked back to the house. Rick pulled her in close using the excuse that she needed warming up, but Kate didn't really need a reason to stay there.
They made themselves comfortable on the lounge again with Kate leaning against Ricks side and started the movie.
It wasn't long before Kate felt herself dozing off in Ricks arms. She knew she should probably go back to bed, but she was so comfortable where she was, and she was enjoying the warmth that Rick was sharing with her. He was really like a big warm pillow, and who would want to leave that and go to a cold pillow? What did it matter really if she fell asleep in his arms? Closing her eyes she felt herself start to slip under.
Rick looked down at the woman resting on his side taking notice that her breathing was evening out, and he knew she was asleep. Knowing she was having trouble sleeping earlier he didn't want to wake her now, so he let her sleep while resting on him. He had started feeling quite tired again himself and he was rather comfortable despite the woman leaning heavily against him. It was probably because of this woman that he was feeling so comfortable, but he wasn't willing to admit that to himself just yet. He turned his head sideways and placed a kiss on the top of Kate's forehead, before resting his head over hers and letting himself sleep too.
Kate felt his lips on her forehead and something inside her suddenly told her to run, but there was something else, something stronger, that made her want to stay. She knew he probably thought she was asleep, so she chose to let him continue thinking that way. She remained pressed into his side, warm and comfortable, and she was asleep within minutes.
Rick was the first to wake an hour or so later and was surprised to see Kate still sleeping against him. He didn't really want to move, but his need for the bathroom was too strong, so he gently lifted her up and placed her head down on a pillow then found a blanket to cover her. She looked so sweet when she slept. Again, he couldn't stop himself from placing a kiss, this time, to her cheek, then went to the bathroom before going to do some writing.
By morning, Kate had managed to get a couple of hours sleep but she was awake again by 6:30am and decided the best way to wake herself up and get herself ready for the day would be with a run and a coffee.
She was surprised to see Rick sitting in the kitchen. She thought that he'd gone back to bed after she'd fallen asleep.
"You're up early," she said as she poured herself a small glass of water.
"So are you," he responded.
"After last night, I thought you'd be sleeping in."
"I could say the same for you."
Well, she couldn't argue with that.
"So why are you up so early?" she asked.
"Why are you up so early, Beckett?" he returned.
"Castle, are you really going to try and play this game with me?"
"What game?" he said grinning.
Kate rolled her eyes at the man. "Fine, I'm up because I'm going for a run. Now how about you? Why are you up?"
"No reason"
"What? How can you not have a reason? It's not even 7am yet. "
"Why do I have to have a reason to be up? Can't I just be up because I want to be?"
"So, you're saying that sometimes you just get up this early?"
"Yep, that's right."
"You're a strange and confusing man."
"I like to think of myself as mysterious," he said waving his fingers around his face, making Kate laugh.
"Oh, ok then Mr Mysterious, I'm going for a run. I'll see you when I return."
"Have fun," he called as she made her way out the door. "I'll have coffee ready when you get back."
She didn't know how he did it? But she was grateful he had picked up on her coffee addiction. She couldn't get through the morning without one.
As soon as Kate had gone, Rick removed his notebook from where he had been sitting on it and read over his notes. He did actually have a reason to be up, he was writing. He'd woken early full of ideas and was unable to go back to sleep so, he did the only thing he could, he got up and wrote it all down. Still unsure how to talk to Kate about her being the inspiration for his writing, he had to hide it. He would talk to her soon, he knew he had to. He just had to figure out how.
The rest of the day had been rather uneventful so Kate suggested they do something in the evening and Martha had just the answer. The Bay Street Theatre was putting on Grease and she just happened to know the director and was sure she would be able to get them tickets.
Richard thought it was a great idea, but Jim decided he wanted to stay in. It took a lot of reassuring before Kate was ready to leave him on his own but she knew she was going to have to do it eventually, and they were only going to be gone a couple of hours so she thought he would be fine.
"Call me if you need anything, I'll come back early if I have to," she said to her father as they left him alone to head to the theatre.
They arrived at the theatre and were shown to their seats. Martha was right, she had been able to not only get them tickets but, extremely good tickets. They were in the front row.
"Martha, how did you get these tickets?"
"Well, these are usually saved for the director and his family, but he said they can see it another night, so tonight they're ours."
"It pays to have a well-known actress for a mother," Rick said with a wink in Kate's direction.
Rick sat with his daughter on one side and Kate on the other. He hoped it wasn't too awkward for her being out with his family while her father was alone at the house. The way she fiddled with her hands showed him that she was still feeling a little nervous about leaving him alone.
"Hey," he said as he placed on of his hands over hers to try and calm her, "he'll be okay. But if you want to leave, I'll drive you back."
"No, you're right. He'll be fine. This is good for him."
"You're a good daughter to be worried. Do you want to call him before the show starts? You've got another five minutes."
"Yeah, I think that'll help me relax a little more."
"Go," he said handing over his phone. "We'll be right here when you get back."
"Castle, I have my own phone," she said with a laugh, pulling her phone from her pocket.
He laughed at himself and put his phone back away and watched as Kate left to make the phone call to her father.
She was back in her seat two minutes later.
"How is he?" Rick asked.
"He's fine. Thanks Rick."
When the music started and the lights went down they knew the show was starting. Rick looked over at the women around him. His mother looked really happy, as expected, she loved the theatre. Alexis was more excited than he had thought she would be, and Kate was finally looking relaxed again. Letting himself get comfortable, Rick rested his arms on the back of the chairs beside him, behind Kate and his daughter.
When the song, Summer Lovin' started, Castle couldn't hold back, he had to sing. He leaned over and sang into Kate's ear.
"Summer lovin' had me a blast," he sang, not perfectly, but he thought it was pretty good, he even put on his best Danny Zuko voice. He got quite a surprise when she turned and sang back.
"Summer lovin' happened so fast."
She had a beautiful voice, he wanted to hear more, so if she was going to sing back, he was going to continue himself.
"Met a girl crazy for me," he said and this time he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Met a boy cute as can be," she sung again.
"Dad, Kate, shhhhh, I'm trying to watch this," came Alexis' stern voice.
Kate giggled quietly. She was enjoying their sing-a-long, but obviously Alexis wasn't and she looked quite serious, so she did as Alexis wished, and stopped singing.
"She's no fun!" Rick mouthed to Kate, making her giggle a little more.
Kate had completely let go now of any worry she had leaving her father alone. She wasn't sure how Rick did it, but there was something about him that just calmed her, and made her laugh, even when she didn't think it was possible.
They continued watching the show in silence, and every now and then, one would glance at the other quickly, trying not to be noticed but once again, Martha had seen everything. She was happy for the two of them. They still were not admitting to any sort of attraction, but she knew it was growing, and the way they kept trying to steal looks at one another, she thought it was rather cute.
When it came time for Greased Lightning, Castle started trying to do the dance moves from his chair, which proved to be quite difficult, and when one arm flung out in front of Kate she grabbed it and held it down.
"You're going to get yourself in trouble again," she said quietly and pointed with her eyes to Alexis, who was giving him a rather scary looking glare.
Again, Rick decided he would sit still and quiet. Having Beckett holding onto his arm was making that decision much easier. He wasn't sure if she had realised, but when she grabbed his arm to stop him from dancing she'd folded her own arm around his elbow and had her hand resting on his forearm. Now he was leaning towards her and felt unable to move. If she was comfortable, then so was he, and he wasn't going to be the one to tell her she was still holding onto his arm. A moment later when she rested her head on him he realised she must have known exactly what she was doing, and she was okay with it.
Once again, like they had so often in the past few days, his thoughts went back to Alexis. He was meant to be there for Alexis. He turned his head to look at his daughter without moving too much, but all her attention was on the show, she didn't even turn to look at him. She had encouraged Kate to get cosy with them while watching the movie the previous night, so he was certain she wouldn't have a problem with this now.
"I'll go inside and get the ice cream," Rick said as they pulled into the driveway after the show. "You ladies make your way out the back, it's perfect weather for an evening snack while listening to the waves."
When Rick made his way through the house and into the kitchen he was met with an unexpected sight.
Jim Beckett sat on a stool with a bottle of whiskey in front of him.
*INSERT DRAMATIC MUSIC*
Well, I guess we all knew something was gonna happen when he was left on his own... just when Kate and Rick were getting closer... don't you hate that! And the worst part is... you have to wait for the next chapter to find out what's going on. Don't worry though... I wont make you wait a week like you would if it was on television.
Review, favourite, follow... all these things are great. Probably much better for me than the 2 blocks of chocolate I managed to eat over the past 24 hours. OOPS!
