Chapter 11: Lonely Ghost
It was already the beginning of October and Sirius felt the weather starting to get cooler.
After a couple weeks, and several close shaves… one involving a middle-aged Muggle woman spotting him when he had transformed to try and get the fleas that had decided to hitch a ride off his body. But finally, after following the train tracks for endless days, his senses could finally start to pick up the tug of magic that he knew came from the castle.
And after all this time he was finally going to commit the crime that he was imprisoned for… because there wasn't anything left of the man he used to be. In his mind, he knew nothing but vengeance, and all he craved was getting retribution for everything that was taken away from him. One rat took his whole life away… he only had one thing left to fight for, and it fueled his will, gave him strength… and hope.
Sirius moved through the dark night, and with each step he took, he could feel that he was one step closer to completing his mission. He watched the moon above him with exhausted eyes, as his body ached—feeling as if it had been broken in a million shards.
He knew that his life was worthless. He didn't fear anything anymore except for failure for his final task. Reckless drive was sure to send him straight to his death… not that he cared. 'No matter what,' he told himself, 'That rat won't touch Harry. I have to be the one to end this!'
Harry Potter. The son of his best friend, and an orphan child because of him. For 12 years Sirius dreamt of his face… a mere baby, nothing more, but the guilt that came with it… it was unbearable. Sad memories of the past were all that was in his head, swirling around like a carousel of dark thoughts; blaming him for everything.
He'd given anything to be able to be with that little boy now.
Seeing Harry—now a teenager—made him hate Peter even more… He will find him and make him pay for all the sorrow he's put everybody through.
With renewed energy, he ran with a fiercer, stronger determination—running helped him to forget—to put him in the here and now. Feeling a strange sense of urgency, he sprinted along the tracks, hardly noticing the pain and need for air in his lungs while his thin legs and starved body felt like they were about to collapse.
Finally, he spotted something that looked startlingly familiar but he couldn't understand why. He paused for a moment and stared at it, waiting for the memory to come back to him, and finally recognizing the forest of dark-looking trees. It was the Forbidden Forest that belonged to Hogwarts and a part of the grounds.
He had done it. He was almost there! Now all he had to do was to find that traitor, Peter, who was without a doubt hiding in the safety of the castle.
Sirius slipped under the dark, black gathering of trees and looked around for a secure hiding place for him to rest. He sniffed around until he finally found a large tree with massive roots that grew large enough for him to hide under. Finally, after days of nonstop traveling, waves of sleep hovered over him as he fell asleep, relieved at last.
He didn't know how long he slept in the forest. He had been so tired from his journey that it felt like days… all he knew for sure was that when he finally woke up, it was still dark. But then again, the Forbidden Forest always was.
But when he looked above him, he discovered that there were a few rays of sunlight were trying to penetrate the massive canopy. His body, had almost recovered from his exhaustion, but was still very stiff. It made him realize that he hadn't had any food for awhile and he needed to keep his strength up if he was actually planning on pulling this off.
Just as he thought that, his belly began to roar with hunger. Without a second thought, he went off in search of whatever he could find to try and try to fill his empty stomach. But his spirits were up… he knew that he must've been on the Hogwarts grounds by now and he might get a chance to eat Peter in his Animagus form. Dreaming of revenge, he set off to explore the forest and to gather up any edible food that was available.
After he drank from a small pool of water, and had his fill from some rats he found scurrying across the forest floor, he finally laid down, wondering what to do. How was he to get to Peter? If the Weasley boy kept him as a pet, then the rat would most likely be in the Gryffindor common room. He couldn't just waltz into the castle… and his Padfoot form was never going to be able to get anywhere near without causing some panic.
But then again, nobody knew about his Animagus form except for Peter and Remus… oh, Remus was here too! He forgot about that. This was now making things more difficult for him. Did Remus tell anyone else about him being an Animagus? Were they on the lookout for a Grim-like dog as well? He wasn't sure…
*Later*
Sirius spent the rest of the day traveling in what he hoped was the right direction towards the castle. As he did, Sirius discovered someone else was traveling through the forest…
It was a cat.
But this cat, however, wasn't like any other creature he ever met. It seemed… it was almost as if it were an Animagus like him… he was certainly intelligent…
It had ginger hair and was unusually ugly with its flat face; almost as if it ran straight into a brick wall. The cat was a little too smart for its own good. Sirius could tell that the cat had known at once that he wasn't a real dog and had attempted to fight with him, which could've gotten ugly real quick.
After he had bared his teeth and glared at it, the cat had scampered off in a random direction, but not before it seemed to search him with its eyes. With its bottlebrush tail held arrogantly high, it had marched off into the darkness. Sirius growled angrily and irritably. That cat… that cat knew he wasn't a dog, and he didn't like it.
As the night suddenly came, Sirius had spotted it at long last. His black shape cast dark shadows in the moonlight as he crept around on the lawn, watching warily the signs of any other forms of life. Not meeting any challenges, he stared up at the castle… which looked more beautiful than he ever remembered as he craned his neck to see the tips of the towers.
It was so majestic. He didn't want to blink, afraid that if he did, it would disappear. It was large and seemed to glow with it's old bricks casting a reflection from the bright moon overhead onto him below. The dark outline of Hogwarts was dotted with hundreds of tiny windows, each glowing with bright light. For one brief moment, he forgot that he was an escaped convict and thought that he was still a student here himself. He turned his head behind him, expecting to see Prongs there with Moony—making sure that the werewolf was behaving himself…
At least until he saw that the only creature there was the cat.
Furious, he barked at the cat, and it went strutting off across the grounds with a superior look… as if he thought that Sirius was not worth his time.
Sirius shook his head and decided to explore the castle grounds a little more. He had been famous for sneaking around on the grounds when he was a student, and he didn't think it would hurt to test his skills and see if he still had it. He prowled the grounds like he used to—moving as swift as the shadows that covered the castle, and was even able to remember some of his favorite hiding places that he discovered not long after he became Animagi.
'Old man's still got it,' he thought proudly as he successfully dashed underneath a large patch of light so quickly that you couldn't even see him.
The night grew cold surprisingly quick after that and Sirius sprinted back to his safe shelter on the edge of the forest. That is until he heard voices coming from the direction of the Quidditch pitch which caused his ears perked up. Unable to help himself, he decided to go over and get a closer look at what was happening… he hadn't seen a Quidditch game in years… oh, seeing flying again… he could not help himself.
He went towards the sounds of laugher and yelling that had to be training sessions for one of the Houses. He hid underneath the bleachers as he crept along… trying to see from one of the lower levels… to see, with a thrill of delight, seven figures dressed in scarlet robes, training in the air. It was the Gryffindor team and Sirius felt a renewed elation as old memories came back to him of James and his childhood at Hogwarts.
He thought happily of those memories for a few seconds until he blinked in astonishment when he realized that it wasn't his memories that he seeing… but James in midair, out flying with the rest of the team. Overcome with joy, he was about to transform and run out onto the field until a tall boy called out, "Harry? I'm letting the Snitch out now! Get ready!"
Harry…?
Sirius blinked and accidently banged his head on the seats above him. Cursing in his mind, he looked back up at the boy… Harry. He had a bunch of mixed feelings… it wasn't James—but it still was his godson! Sirius stared at him, when he suddenly turned in midair and easily looped around the others and raced along the two Beaters. He gasped in surprise when he recognized who they were. It was the pair of twin boys he saw in the photo from the Prophet, and back at the train station! Two of the Weasleys! But he didn't pay too much attention to them as he went back to watching Harry like a hawk. He watched with feelings of sadness, and yet joy as he watched the three boys race each other, the twins swatting away at the bludger they had released and Harry flew around for a minute before he had gone into a spectacular dive to catch the Snitch.
Harry was just a red and gold blur flying around the Quidditch pitch, he did fly like James. He was clearly a natural at flying. Sirius was transfixed on his godson; he watched him intensely, trying not to confuse him with his teammates. Every time he dodged a bludger or made a particularly steep dive, Sirius smiled at the memories of the little baby that used to fly on that toy broomstick that he got him for his birthday. He laughed internally and thought, 'He's the Quidditch star James always wanted him to be…'
He watched them all train for at least another hour until the oldest looking boy… who could only be their Captain, called it quits. The rest of the team all landed lightly and walked back towards the changing rooms and out of his sight.
Sirius sighed miserably, knowing that there was no reason to stay any longer, he went back to the forest reluctantly. Weary from the day's events, he huddled down in a patch of thick leaves and closed his eyes with a great sense of relief.
*Halloween*
He was going to do it tonight. He was going to try and get into Hogwarts tonight. It was Halloween night and Sirius had spent the last few days planning his attempt inside the castle; only leaving the safety of the forest to see the Gryffindors training sessions. He went there every night, hoping that they were there so that he could watch Harry play. As he watched with feelings of pride and joy at Harry's skill, he tried hard not to think of those feelings of regret and guilt that James couldn't be there to watch him play.
No, not tonight. He couldn't think about all that tonight. He needed to focus if he was going to pull this off.
There was no better time to try… it was the perfect time… Halloween. No one in their right mind would've taken a pet rat to the Halloween Feast. And it was the same night that James and Lily were killed… the night that he lost everything exactly twelve years ago. If he was going to do it, it was going to be now… and if everything went to plan, Peter would be dead in a matter of hours…
Alright… time to go to work.
The trail inside Hogwarts was a familiar one at least. He couldn't remember how many times they took it on their midnight prowls. Another thing he tried to do these days was to not think of the good old days—back when they could all trust each other. Really trust each other. Hell, they were the ones to help Moony when he needed it the most. Like they could really just let one of their best friends go though those painful transformations alone?
His friends… his partners in crime… through thick and thin, they were there for each other. Now… he had no one. Thanks to that slimy, double-crossing, worthless rat. Well, he was about to change all that.
But how could anyone think that he would ever betray his family? How could they think that Sirius Black would have ever betrayed the man that made him Best Man at his wedding? And then later announced him as godfather when they discovered that Lily was pregnant with Harry?
He was so ecstatic when they asked him to be godfather, though he couldn't lie that he was afraid at the same time. But what else could he say but yes to an honor like that? And when he held that little baby boy for the first time that day in Godric's Hallow… the little baby that he would to go to see and play with every single day…
That small family meant the world to him. He would rather've died if it meant keeping them safe.
But he couldn't think about the past any longer at the moment… he was wasting moonlight. Time to prowl the grounds once again…
And so, he crept into Hogsmeade, using the fact that everyone else was celebrating Halloween, to his advance. He carefully waited outside Honeydukes until someone came out. He took his chance and dashed in before the door closed behind a wizard, carrying so many sweets that he didn't notice the large dog that snuck in.
Sirius kept as low as he possibly could as he hid behind the counter and quietly snuck down through the open door that lead to the cellar. Smiling to himself, he crept down the old stairs and was 100% sure that the owners weren't around before he lifted the trapdoor with his nose and dived down.
Feeling that it was safe for the moment, he transformed, relishing the use of his human body for a change, he traveled the long passageway for almost an hour, going over his plan in his mind again and again. He kept going until he reached the end of the tunnel, knowing that the way out was above him. Taking a few deep breaths, and silently praying that no one else was around, he forced his way out of the statue's hump and stared around him. He felt like he could've cried from seeing the familiar floor around him, but he would do that later.
Revenge came first.
He walked through the narrow passageways and forgotten corridors, rushing through the school like a forgotten ghost. The doors, the dark corridors and hidden passageways… he remembered them all so well as memories that seem to come from a previous life, or the dreams of a forgotten youth came back to him. Until he finally reached the tower.
The Gryffindor Tower, his first real home from long ago… his place of refuge and safety far away from his family and close by his friends…
What a fitting place that he would finally murder his once, so-called friend.
(Hope you liked this chapter. Next one, we move onto when Sirius snaps and attacks the Fat Lady. How does he escape? And what about Crookshanks? When does he and that cat become friends? Find out soon!)
