LOVE, IN ALL ITS FORMS

A/N : Hey! Thank you everyone for the reviews! I did my best to update as fast I could! I have lots of plans for this story.

So, about Helen…Lol, yes she's someone from John's past. We'll learn more about her in this chapter, as this chapter will be more centered around John.

Enjoy!

Chapter 11: Saying Sorry

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Silence hung in the air. It wasn't an awkward, bitter silence that reigned between the two lovers…more of a cozy one. In the past week of their serious relationship, Torrie and John had argued a lot. But argument was just another layer in their romance. They would never be one of those flawless, fairytale-like couples; John was definitely not every little girl's perfect prince charming…But he was her hero; in his own messed- up, badass way. And Torrie was glad of that. She liked to have a little spiciness in her relationships.

And besides…Fighting always leads to kiss and make up.

Their latest "fight" had been going on all morning. First, he yelled because she spent too much time in the bathroom. Then, he yelled because she lost the hotel room keys. Then he yelled because he had just noticed the practically invisible scratch she put on his car. Finally, she yelled because he was short-tempered. But deep down, he made her feel like a clumsy house-wife, and she loved that feeling. Billy had never made her feel anything of the sort, even though they were actually married.

He had only apologized in the car, while driving to the RAW buildings of Massachusetts. Torrie loved seeing him admitting to his faults, because she knew better than anyone that John hated saying "I'm sorry". She had tortured him for a few minutes, saying that she wouldn't accept his apologies because he had been rude to her. But after getting what she wanted, which consisted of three "sorry's", a sweet kiss and a boost on her credit card, she let him off the hook. Ever since, they had driven in peaceful silence; but John seemed preoccupied by something.

"What's on your mind?" She whispered, while squeezing his hand.

He inhaled deeply, as if what was coming next would be torture for him to say.

"You don't really know me, Torrie."

His statement had taken her by surprise, and she felt weirdly hurt by it. After all, they had gone through so much together.

"Baby don't look at me like that. I ain't accusing you of anything."

"Then what are you trying to say?"

"It's just that…You don't know where I come from. You don't know my past, my family. You don't even know why I was such an asswhole with women!"

"I think I have a clue, John, on why you were such a jerk. With me especially. Someone broke your heart in the past. And you didn't want that to happen again…" She squeezed his hand a little tighter. "Then I came along, and I could see past the act. I never gave up on you, I fighted to find out who you really were. And you fighted to make sure that that didn't happen. But you couldn't help but let me brake through those walls, could ya'?"

He smiled, while keeping his eyes on the road.

"You were just too cute to resist…" He teased; but they both knew that it was so much more than Torrie's looks that made him open up to her.

He was beginning to realize how lucky he was to have her in his life.

"But you're right, I don't know about your past John. I never asked, because I know it's a big deal for you. I was waiting for you to feel comfortable enough to tell me."

"What if I told you that I'm comfortable enough, right now?"

"John, it's ok. I can wait. You don't-"

"No Torrie. I wanna tell you now."

Torrie smiled. This was the moment she'd been determined to get to since day one. This was the moment where he would finally let her all the way in.

"Ok…"

He kept his eyes fixed in front of him. She could tell that he was trying to put on a brave face.

Wow…This has got to be big…I've never seen him so…emotional.

"Since as far as I can remember, I grew up with my mom. We didn't have much, just ourselves. It was like, me and her against the world. But it was aight, 'cuz I had one person who really loved me, and that was enough…Then she got killed in a gang-fight."

"John, I'm so sorry…"

"Nah, don't be sorry yet. It gets worse…" His voice trailed off. "I was 16, and I had no choice but to go live with my dad. I hated him since before my mom died. He'd never bothered calling…nothing. And I knew that him and my mom ended real bad. With the years, I understood that he used to beat her." He paused. "Anyways…he was worse off than my mom and me. He fed off the money of his dead brother, and used it mostly to get drunk. Oh, and to spoil my two half-brothers. The three of them were hating on me since the beginning. Other than the emotional abuse, I had to fend for myself. So I spent my time doing lame jobs for some money, going to school and going to the gym. They had hit on me a few times, but I wasn't gonna let it get outa hand like with my mom. That's how I got all buffed up, and started training to be a wrestler."

He took in another long breath. Re-living his past had made him seem sad, angry…just broken. Torrie couldn't believe anyone would treat their own flesh and blood in such a way…And she still hadn't heard the worst.

"Then when I was 19…I met this girl. From the first date, I knew I was crazy about her. Head over heels…I woulda done anything for that girl…" A bitter, disgusted smile appeared on his face. "One year into the relationship, and I was ready to marry her. My "family" knew about that too; I didn't know how at the time. Then one day, I went home…I was looking for my dad, so I went up to his room…and found him in bed with my girlfriend." John stopped abruptly. She could almost feel his heart breaking all over again. "Apparently, they had been sleeping together the whole year I was with her…I never suspected anything once. Not once. That's how much I loved her…Even when she would come home smelling of someone else's perfume, I never suspected her. Oh and apparently…" He began laughing under his breath, but it was far from joyful laughter. "…the whole thing was a set up. Even from the first day, it had all been a set up. My dad had planned on me meeting this girl…He planned on me falling in love with her…He planned on me wanting to marry her. He just wanted to break it to me that I had fallen in love with his bitch the day I was supposed to propose. And my brothers were in on it too." He took a quick glance at Torrie, whose eyes were tearing up. She had known that John's life had been messed up…But this was just sick. "Yeah Torrie, that's the kind of family I grew up with. See, by the time I was 19, I had everything that they didn't. I had the money, I had the diploma, I had the future…Of course, I had the looks. And they just wanted to break me. I guess they just couldn't bear to see the former Mrs Cena's son have a better life then they did…"

Torrie was at a loss for words. She would never have imagined someone go through all that. And she would never even wish such a life on her worst of enemies…

"Somehow, I got a feeling that if you had known about all this while I was treating you like shit, you wouldn't have hated me so much…Guess you cant blame me for treating women the way I did, can ya'?"

I definitely can't…Wow, I must have been very special to him if he could let me in after all that. He must really trust me…

Torrie didn't say anything; she just held onto his hand. It was the only mean of comfort she could provide at the moment.

"John?" She asked hesitantly after a few minutes.

"Yeah?"

"What was the girl's name?"

She had no concrete reason for asking this question. She just wanted to know what that pathetic excuse of a woman was called.

John seemed to have an inner combat, like if it hurt him to say the word.

"Helen."

Torrie froze. She had a sudden flash back of the woman she'd met in the underwear shop.

John noticed her sudden change in expression.

"What's wrong?"

"Um…It's funny…I met a woman last week called Helen."

He didn't seem worried, only distant.

"I'm sure it ain't her. The whore I knew moved back to Chicago…Give me a description of her, just in case."

"Ok, well she worked at the lingerie boutique called La Perla, at the Crystal Mall. She…She had dark hair, nice body, very nice eyes…Oh, and she a Chinese tattoo on the back of her neck."

John didn't say anything for a moment, and that worried the blond Diva.

"It ain't her."

"Thank God for that…" Torrie let out a sigh of relief. She then spontaneously pulled John's neck towards her, and gave him a short, soft kiss.

"Whoa, I'm driving here dumbass!" He chuckled, giving her a sneaky look. "What was that for?"

"I just…I just want you to know John, that I would never, and I mean never-"

"I know Torrie, I know…"

He looked her deeply in the eyes; and she could just tell how much he trusted her, and how much he cared about her.

He leaned in slowly for a second kiss…Only to get punched in the arm.

"Ow!"

"I thought I told you not to call me a dumbass!"

They spent the rest of the journey laughing, and hitting each other. It's a good thing John had strong driving reflexes.

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"What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I was trying to help!"

They had just finished their first match as a babyface couple; and began their fourth fight of the day.

"Torrie…Jumping in the ring in front of Umaga isn't helping me!" He shouted, as several people turned to look at them.

"Fine! Next time, I'll just let the freak bust your head wide open!"

"It's better than having him bust your head wide open! If I'da been one second late, his ass woulda smashed your face!"

Torrie's expression softened. She had just realized that this was their only argument where she wasn't the victim…John was. His angry state was controlled by worry.

Instead of raising her voice in order to calm him down, Torrie opted for a different technique.

"Well then, I guess it's a good thing you're always saving me…" She whispered , as she leaned against his sweating body. She pressed her lips against his, and she knew that John was struggling to not give into the temptation. He seemed determined on letting her know what a "terrible" thing she'd done.

Eventually he stopped fuming, but he found out it harder and harder to remain still as his girlfriend pressed up against him, touching him in all the right places…

"You know, this isn't gonna cut it…" He managed to say, while Torrie continued feeling him up. She was looking for payback from his attack on her neck that previous week.

"I'll make it up to you tonight." She finally moved back, giving John the chance to breath properly again. "We have to go get Trish."

"Yeah, about that…Listen, I got something I have to take care of. I'll meet you later at the hotel, aight?"

"Sure."

John turned around, but she pulled his arm before he could leave.

"You better bring your best protection for tonight, soldier."

He loved it when she talked dirty.

"I'll make sure of that…" He gave her a seductive wink, and went his way.

Torrie had a smiling face as she made her way towards Trish's locker room. The whole point of their argument, which had turned into a steamy conversation, was based on John's fear for her well-being. From the moment she had uselessly tried to get Umaga to stop beating him, he had been worried sick because of her. Screaming at her was the only way he knew how to express it.

Like any other woman would have been, Torrie felt very special.

Her happy mood quickly faded, once she reached Trish's locker room. The door was slightly parted, and an uneasy feeling crept up her body.

This is odd…

She pushed open the door, and stepped in. The room was completely dark, and Torrie felt as is she was in the middle of a horror movie.

She struggled to find the light switch…And her fear only became deeper once the lights turned on.

Saying the room was a complete mess would be an understatement. The portraits on the wall hung loosely, glass was scattered all over the floor, the television and lamps were broken, and the black couch was flipped over…but Trish was nowhere in sight.

"Trish!" Torrie screamed, and she began searching the room in hype.

There had definitely been a brawl. Torrie had seen a lot of cat-fights in her time; but the state of the room was nowhere near that of a stupid girl on girl disagreement. Someone had attacked, and someone had struggled.

"Trish! Trish!"

Torrie felt a peace of glass slice through her slipper. She ignored the pain, and continued running around the room. She felt lost, and scared. Her imagination was going wild with dreadful ideas.

What happened here!? Where's Trish!?

Her eyes lay on the wall behind the fallen couch. She then saw a hint. Not a hint on where her friend was…more of a hint on what had happened to her. The color on Torrie's face disappeared.

Blood was splattered on the white wall.

Torrie remained still. She blinked a couple of times, hoping the horrid sight of red stains would go away.

"Trish?" She whispered, her whole body shaking. Tears strolled down her face.

She forced herself to walk towards the back of the couch, already preparing herself for the worse.

First, she saw messy blond hair lying on the floor: her heart skipped a beat. Then, she fell across a deadly-white, bruised arm: her heart skipped two beats. Finally, she stumbled upon an unconscious, and bloody Trish Stratus: her heart sank.

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She was closing up. As she did every night, she turned off the main lights, and put down the shutters. The small, yet extravagant shop was now dimly lit. She sighed deeply, and made her way towards the counter. While she collected her keys, and put on her coat, she heard the doorbell ring; signaling that someone had entered the boutique.

"Shop's closed!"

She continued hearing footsteps, and suddenly felt a presence behind her. His scent hit her immediately; a sly grin formed her lips.

"Well, well, well…I was wondering when you'd pass by. Are you here to see me, or to buy your slut some more trashy clothes?"

"You really think you're in a position to call anyone a slut, Helen?" His voice was sharp as ice, and his striking blue eyes had never seemed so cold. And she'd seen a lot of cold eyes in her lifetime.

"Good point. But you know, I thought you would have moved on by now."

"Wow: slut, bitch, black hearted and now brain dead!" He laughed, while counting on his fingers ironically. "Don't get any better than you, does it?"

"John-"

"Don't John me." He spat, his piercing eyes almost cutting through her. "You ruined my life, Helen. I'd become a horrible man 'cause of you. If Torrie hadn't-"

"You think Torrie changed you?" She replied mockingly. "I look at you, and I still see the same man."

"You don't see shit. I've improved. I fixed what you broke. She, fixed what you broke." John's body contorted with rage. Rage he'd been keeping in for a very long time. "You think there's still something left between you and me, don't you? There's nothing. I hate you." He emphasized the word "hate" as well as he could, which proved to be extremely easy.

"There's a thin line between love and hate. I remember you loving me more than anything in this world. I was your first love. There's always a place for your first love."

"And I'm always the exception to the rule."

"And I also remember that your precious Torrie hated you when you first met. Just like with us-"

"Don't you dare compare what we had to what I have with Torrie!" He banged his fists on the marble counter, and stared at her with all the hate imaginable. "You ain't even a quarter as good as her." He leaned forward, and looked at her menacingly. "She makes…She makes me happy. A feeling I thought you'd killed. And I'll be damned if I let you just walk in to our lives and fuck it up."

No one talked for a few moments: John maintained his death glare, and Helen's mysterious eyes were unreadable.

"That's where you're wrong."

He didn't nudge. He was trying to make sure he had heard correctly.

"What the hell you talking 'bout?"

Helen didn't answer; she simply looked into her purse. She then pulled out two neatly folded envelopes, holding one in each hand.

"How's this crap supposed to answer my question?"

"You can look at this crap as metaphors, John. You see, one of these envelopes is the path to my future. I just don't know what road to take yet."

"Helen, quit with the poetic shit. Just cut to the chase, I gotta get back to my girl." He was glad to use the word "his girl", because firstly, he was proud to have Torrie Wilson as his girlfriend. Secondly, it was the first time he'd ever called someone his girl since Helen. Yet she seamed unaffected by this.

"This…" She said while holding out her right hand. "This is a plane ticket back to Chicago. If I go, I won't come back."

"End of discussion then. Just get on the fucking plane and out of my life!"

"And this…" She cut him off, while holding out her left hand this time. "…is a contract as a make-up artist. For non-other that the World-Wrestling-Entertainment, industry."

She gently put the two envelopes on the table, as her red lips formed a wide grin. Some sort of sparkle had revived in her eyes. John, on the other hand, looked as if the whole world was crashing down on him. He had actually frozen for a minute or so.

"You…You ain't considering-"

"I most certainly am, John. A smart, talented lady like me can do much better than work in a lingerie shop. What's more, I love traveling." She moved closer towards his shocked figure. "We both know how adventurous I can be."

Something then suddenly seemed to snap inside of him.

"I know why you're doing this…Yeah, it's the money isn't it? You want me to pay you off. Cause' you know I'll give you my whole budget just to get you out of my face!"

"I don't want your money John." She replied, almost feeling insulted that he had suggested such a thing. "As a matter of fact, I don't even want you."

"Then why won't you just leave!" He cried. John was now too frustrated to even control his words.

"I'm doing this for you…"

"What-"

"Listen to me John." She hushed him, and grabbed his hand. He pulled back instinctively. "I'll make a deal with you. My flight leaves in one week, and if you follow through, then I'll be on that plane."

"Follow through with what Helen?!" He didn't like the fact that she had the upper hand. But he was willing to put his all his pride aside just to see the woman go.

"Look…Every night, after I close the shop, I go to Taboo…that bar on the fifth floor." She took in a deep breath, knowing that after hearing her "deal", he would become even more enraged. But it was something she had to do. "And I'm tired of getting drunk, then waking up in some stranger's bed. I'm tired of it John. I only act like a slut, as you like to say, because I'm lonely." A sad expression covered her face. "Being this way is the only way I can feel accepted-"

"This still don't have nothing to do with me Helen!" He shouted, refusing to fall for her act. "And it doesn't make up for what you've done…"

"Let me finish John, I'm getting to the point…Anyhow, like I said, I don't like going to these pick up bars. At least not by myself. This is why I want you-"

"Are you out of your fucking mind!" This time, John was appalled. "I am not going to pick-up bars with you. This is pathetic! You, are pathetic. I have a girlfriend now. And even if I didn't, I wouldn't waste my time going to these fucked up bars with you!"

"Do you want me to get on that plane or not!?" The sad look on her face had now vanished. It was replaced by an angry, almost cruel expression. It was the exact same look John had last seen her with ten years ago. "John, I just want us to talk. Talk, that's it. You and me, one hour every night at Taboo. And I chose Taboo because it's not exposed by the media and so on…But of course, we can always go to Starbucks if you'd rather see pictures of us in the press."

John couldn't believe any of this was happening. Just that morning, he had been telling Torrie about the woman who had messed him up. And now that same woman was asking to meet him every night at a sheap bar.

"I ain't stupid Helen. You really think I believe that you plan on taking me to a bar, get us a couple of drinks and just talk." He let out a bitter laugh. "I know you better than that: there's always a back-plan. But guess what: even if alcohol is all the way up my ass, and even if I can't see straight, I am never gonna cheat on Torrie. Not with you or anyone else."

"John, that's not what I want."

"Then what do you want!?" He was sick of the mind games. He just wanted to never look at the woman again.

"I'm doing this to help you."

"How-How is this gonna help me!? Wow, you used to be a better liar than this!"

"I'm not lying! For once, I am not lying. John, you say there's nothing left between you and me…"

"Which is completely true."

"…That Torrie is the one who makes you happy…"

"Which is even more true."

"I believe you when you say this…But do you believe yourself? Listen to me…" She cut him off before he cut her off. "If you come with me every night, for a week, to these somewhat tempting bars, and still feel nothing for me…Then we'll both know that what you say is true. That Torrie is the only left in your heart. You won't even ask yourself questions anymore."

"So, you're doing all this to test my fidelity for my own girlfriend? This is crazy!"

"It's not so crazy if you think about it. From what I hear now, there's an 80 chance that after this week is over, you'll know without a doubt that Torrie is the one for you. Without a doubt. And you'll have "proof" that you have no more romantic feelings towards me. That is, if nothing happens between us of course…"

"Trust me, nothing will happen."

"You say it, now prove it. If you're so sure of this, that it shouldn't be too hard. Imagine John, you'll know whether or not you're free of me. You'll know whether or not Torrie is the woman your heart belongs to…You can actually consider this deal as a favor."

John chuckled. Although this was completely absurd, in a way it was actually making sense.

"This is still crazy…"

"It's my way of saying sorry." John looked up at her, and for the first time since she had broken his heart, he saw a sweet, honest smile spread out on her red lips.

"And if I do this…You promise you'll be gone next week. You'll hold on to your word."

"I'll hold on to my word. It's a deal."

He looked at her suspiciously. He still held the pain she had made him suffer.

"I still don't trust you, but whatever. It's a deal."

"Good." Helen was victorious. "I'll see you tomorrow, 11pm. You'll be thanking me by the end of next week."

John simply rolled his eyes, and made his way towards the exit. His mind was still trying to wrap around the whole weird situation he had just put himself in.

"Hey John!"

"What?" He snapped, turning around. He really wanted to get out of her presence.

"Why do you want me out of the country so bad, if you have absolutely no more feelings for me anymore? Why are you so scared of me being around you…?"

John stopped. This was a question he's asked himself before…And only now was he able to answer it.

"I'm scared of who I had become after you left. I…" His voice caught up in his throat. "I'm scared history repeats itself."

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Ok, so what do you guys think?? Let me know in the reviews!

So, I hope all of you understood that last sequence…Basically, Helen wants to go to these bars with John just to see if he will cheat on Torrie or not. She wants them both to know whether or not his feelings for Helen are completely gone, and whether or not he is completely into Torrie…But are Helen's intentions as good as they seem?! And who is it that attacked Trish?! And the biggest question of them all…Will Trish survive the attack? Find out in the next chapter!

Lots of love,

Cena-Wilson-Crazy