Misunderstandings of the Good Kind

Part I

"So, let me get this straight…You drooled?"

"Basically, yes." Shunsui lifted his head out of his hands to answer before allowing it to drop back in despair.

"And that's it?"

"Pretty much…"

Ukitake sighed and slumped down onto the porch….Again. The stars were out now, reflecting off the smooth surface of the lake, another day of his life drawing to a close. And Ukitake had been expecting some sort of progress by his rather dense friend but it looked like that wasn't a possibility anytime soon.

"You have to be, the most STUPID man to walk the planet." It was a statement, not a dubious exclamation.

Shunsui turned to look at him in disbelief tinged with desperation.

"What part of this don't you understand? She was in a MINISKIRT! Do you know what that's like?" his voice was edging towards hysteria.

"Hai, hai. I get it, her legs were visible." Shunsui's gaze became vacant again as he lapsed into some overly creative daydreams. Ukitake nudged him impatiently.

"Look, let's get some facts straight here. Has Ise-san ever, in the history of her existence, worn something like that?"

Shunsui looked up, suddenly serious.

"No. She never wore anything remotely skirt-like even when she was a child."

Ukitake lapsed into silence.

"Well, then why do you think she'd start now?"

"Women's minds work in mysterious ways?" was Shunsui's contribution in the way of intelligent reasoning.

"Look, Shunsui. You know more about women than anyone I know, and that's saying a lot. Let's try and find out what she's thinking and maybe then we can find a way to get her to give in to you…"

Shunsui 'hmph-ed' at his friend.

"Nanao-chan doesn't think like the average woman, or the average man even. Believe me. If she did, I'd have gotten my way with her a long time ago."

Ukitake's smooth forehead creased with concentration.

"Shunsui, do we have a consensus on the fact that you think very much like the average man? With regards to women, that it" he added hastily at his friends incensed expression on the insult to his intelligence.

"I suppose I do." He said, only half paying attention to Ukitake's focus-entailing diatribe.

"You definitely do," Ukitake nodded confidently to himself, "See the target, zone in on it, and acquire, right?"

"Generally. It depends on a lot of factors though…" Shunsui muttered half-heartedly.

"Exactly. What does it depend on Shunsui?" Ukitake was delighted at the progress at which his dim friend was catching on.

Shunsui sat up at this, his favorite subject, and started throwing points Ukitake's way off the top of his head.

"On how open the lady in question is, if she looks interested enough, the way she moves, the way she dresses…"

Understanding began to dawn physically on Shunsui's features as he trailed off, eyes widening.

'Yes," Ukitake hissed, drawing the word out lovingly, "She's trying to-"

Ukitake was interrupted by an explosion of reiatsu that roiled out of Shunsui.

"She's trying to show that she's interested in some man?! Is that what you're trying to say?"

"Erm…Yes? But Shunsui, that man is most probably y-"

Shunsui was off the porch in the blink of an eye, his reiatsu fluctuating wildly, making Ukitake wince.

"I'm gonna kill that bastard!"

And with those dangerously low words, Shunsui was gone in a flash and flurry of pink haori and soaring spirit power.

Ukitake sat frozen on the porch, unable to move from shock and disbelief at what had happened. He had known Shunsui was dumb in anything that involved Ise-san, but this stupid was a new low. Of the previously uncharted level.

"Yare yare, how can you not realize that you're that bastard?" Ukitake muttered before resigning himself to lying back on the porch and staring up at the stars.

If Ise-san was so bent on having his reckless friend as her lover, then she'd deal with his idiocies as well.

He only hoped Shunsui came out of her remedial actions alive.

A/N: Sorry for the late update readers! But I've come to realize it's very hard to type with a fractured arm, so you'll have to forgive me. Hehe. I'm much better now though, and the break from my keyboard has my creative juices running! So yeah, be prepared for lemony-ness in the next chapter! And leave some love, review!

Peace.

*~*Biology*~*