Chapter 11: A Big Deal
A week after Effie and Amabella left Twelve, Haymitch was enjoying the peace and quiet of his home.
Enjoying was a strong word, though.
So were peace, and quiet.
In fact, it was hard to consider life peace and quiet when one's life was tormented by nightmares and paranoia.
He couldn't really sleep during the night. He had always had that problem, in the past, but it had gotten better in recent years, after the war. Now, his body kept weird hours at best, and he only tried to remember to feed the geese at the right time. Without having liquor to brighten his day, or make his mind hazy, the nights went by slowly. With the recent, new nightmares that had decided to haunt his sleep, the days went by even slower.
He hadn't called Effie. It seemed like a waste of time, to give her hope, or crush her dreams — whichever was the most heartbreaking option, he had no idea. He tried not to think of the kid, but his dreams reminded him of her nearly daily.
The kids had left him be, either thinking the wedding celebrations had been too much for him or that all the guests had made him sociable enough for a whole month. Haymitch had been hoping this would keep going, but he was woken up abruptly this afternoon by someone shaking him — which served him right, considering his sleep had hardly been pleasant so far.
"The hell?" he mumbled, unused to this. Ever since he got sober, Peeta and Katniss didn't bother him in his sleep.
"Wake up," he saw Peeta hovering over him on the couch. Katniss stood a few feet behind him. It took him about two seconds to properly open his eyes. "We have to talk."
Haymitch sat up slowly, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "What's the matter now?" their faces were gloomy at best. "Honeymoon over?"
Katniss folded her arms in front of her chest. "You haven't shown up for dinner."
Haymitch yawned. "Yeah. I have food here too, you know."
"Your house smells bad," she made a face while Peeta sat on the armchair. "You haven't let your housekeeper in?"
"I haven't been in the mood for company," Haymitch said slowly, arching his eyebrows, "if you catch my drift."
Katniss let out an indignant sigh. Peeta then spoke. "Have you watched television this week, Haymitch?"
Haymitch glared at him. "Do I look like someone who watches a lot of television, boy?"
"You've been subject of some gossip this week," Peeta continued. "We didn't really pay attention to it, but Annie called today and we talked," he shared a look with Katniss. "You're Amabella's father."
It was more of a question than a statement, so Haymitch eyed them and nodded.
"It's been all over the news," Katniss said. "Effie's been quiet about it. I guess you haven't answered your phone or left the village enough for the reporters to get you," she rolled her eyes. "How did that happen?"
"We had sex," Haymitch said shrugged. "It was not the first time. Wasn't the last, either, come to think of it."
Katniss and Peeta looked as uncomfortable as he felt.
"Seriously? That's how you're explaining this?" she cringed.
"Do you want me to tell you we fell madly in love and decided to have a baby together?" Haymitch asked sarcastically. "There isn't much to tell. It was an accident."
"But why didn't you say anything?" Peeta asked.
"I wasn't made aware of it until last week," Haymitch told them. "I fail to see how any of this is your business."
He looked pointedly at both of them. Katniss' gaze was too intense for him — he ignored her. Peeta seemed to be lost in thought.
"You're not gonna do this, are you?" Katniss spoke. "You're just not gonna do a thing about it. Amabella is just a kid and she has a mother and a father and you're just not gonna be there."
"She has a good mother. Effie's got a good support system," Haymitch told them. "Again, it's none of your business."
"We don't have parents," Katniss said. "None of us. Either because they abandoned us or died. You're right here. You were doing good sober. What's the problem now?"
"Did Effie ask you to talk to me?" he huffed. "Believe me, Sweetheart, that kid is better off in Four. I'm giving her my money. She's gonna be able to go to school and have toys and all the silly makeup she'll want when she's a teenager. I'm here, and she's not gonna miss me there."
Katniss let out a humorless laugh. "You don't get it, do you? You're able to be there for her. She could help you remain sober," she shook her head. "At least tell me you were honest with Effie. And Amabella."
He said nothing.
"You know what? Just stay here and rot. I fed your geese this morning, by the way. They were starving," she gave him a look and stormed out.
The boy remained seated.
"Annie learned because Bella told Levi about you. She's excited about you."
"Yeah, she doesn't really know me, kid."
"She knows your geese, and you helped her with puzzles, gave her her favorite toy and saved her doll," Peeta said softly. "That's more than enough for her. She already loves you, Haymitch. Don't be scared of her," he added. "I mean, you got us, didn't you? And we didn't turn out too bad. We're getting there. She's only just started."
Peeta stood up.
"You should call Effie. Check on them," he offered. "Even if you don't want to be involved it might help the nightmares, knowing they're there."
He followed Katniss out of the house, closing the door with a quiet click, and Haymitch hated how reasonable he sounded.
It kept ringing.
Haymitch kept the phone close to his ear, not quite sure about what he'd say if someone actually picked it up; he had stayed on the couch for a few more hours until he decided Peeta was ultimately right — the boy often was, anyway.
He leaned against the wall, sighing loudly as it rang once more. No one was home, then. Effie had always been outgoing so that couldn't have changed that much. Still, it was late enough that he had thought she'd be home by now. It was a weekday — or so he thought — and that meant school night, right? She wouldn't be out late, not with a little kid, anyway…
He had just about given up when a tiny voice reached his ears.
"Hello?"
He pressed the phone even closer to his ear now.
"Amabella?" he asked, although he knew exactly it was her.
"Yes?" the tiny voice asked again, too suspicious to have recognized his own.
Somehow, this fact was almost painful for him.
"It's… It's Daddy, Amabella," Haymitch said, the word still foreign to him.
"Hi, Daddy!" she said excitedly, now recognizing him. It brought a smile to his lips.
"Hey, kid," he said. "Where's your mommy?"
"She is right in front of me," Amabella said. "I think she wants to talk to you."
That seemed unlikely, somehow. Haymitch frowned. "Really? How are you doing?"
"I'm good! We raced to the phone and I won," she said matter-of-factly. "I won a star at school today, and Mommy made pancakes. They were good!"
Haymitch snorted. "What, is it not always good?"
Amabella giggled. "Not always… Daddy, Mommy really wants to talk to you! Bye!"
He barely had time to say goodbye and fully comprehend the feelings that came with hearing his child's voice like that. She was his child. He still wasn't used to that.
"Hello, Haymitch."
Now, that voice he was sure he would never forget.
"Sweetheart," he greeted her, now faced with the truth behind the phone call. "How are you two doing?"
"We're well, thank you," Effie said guardly. "Sorry, I was expecting a call from Annie, and Bella just loves answering the phone for me."
"It's fine. I wanted to speak to her too," he said. "Had a safe journey home?"
"Do you mean last week? Yes, we did," she told him. "It was uneventful."
He nodded, although she couldn't see it. He wasn't sure of what to say and, apparently, neither was Effie, because there was silence on the other end of the line.
"How is she?" he asked at last.
There was a pause before Effie spoke.
"She's doing well," she answered. "She, ah, made you a drawing. It's of your house, and the village. You have a very long beard in it, for some reason."
"Another masterpiece, then," he joked.
Effie let out a laugh. "Precisely."
Another pause.
"Is there a purpose to this call, Haymitch?" She finally asked.
He breathed out slowly. "Just thought I'd check on you, that's all."
He heard a sigh.
"Haymitch, I'd… I'd rather you didn't," her voice was quiet; he figured Amabella wasn't around her anymore. "She was all excited last week, she told everyone, and you're not around anymore. I don't… I don't want to give her false expectations."
"It's always all or nothing with you, Effie," he sighed into the phone.
"It is and it will be, at least until you've made a decision," Effie said sternly. "Although I suspect you have already made one. It's her bedtime now. I should go," she added. "I'm sorry, Haymitch."
She did sound sorry, and that somehow made it all worse.
He rubbed his eyes tiredly.
"I'm sorry too, Effie."
The line went dead.
Effie listened distractedly as Amabella spoke; it was Friday, and she had been allowed to take a toy to preschool, as children could once a month — she had chosen Wilma the doll, and Effie suspected Bunny had been ignored because she simply did not wish to share it with anyone else.
As they walked home hand in hand from school — Effie holding Amabella's bag and Amabella holding Wilma — Effie decided to call Haymitch. She mentally vowed to do so, in fact; after his call earlier that week, he hadn't said a thing, and Peeta and Katniss had been very quiet about him during their weekly call as well. Effie felt that she had been too hard on him, perhaps — even if he called, surely having a father by phone was better than not having a father at all, right?
Effie knew he did care about them, or at least he did care about Amabella. And that was the most important part, anyway.
Besides, if he did decide to get involved — a possibility that felt more and more unlikely with each passing day — they were still living in Four and he would still be in Twelve. Unless something drastic occurred, Effie would decline the offer to Twelve; she did not want to expose Amabella to a father who did not care. The distance, at least, provided them an excuse. And, sometimes, excuses hurt less than the truth.
"Can we go to the playground, Mommy?" Amabella interrupted her train of thought, pointing to the park across the street.
Effie contemplated the idea.
"Let's just drop our bags home, and then we'll go," she decided; Amabella's bag from school was making her palm go numb. "We'll have ice cream too. Mommy craves it."
She gave the little girl a smile as they rounded the corner.
"Me too!" Amabella quickly agreed. "Which flavor, Mommy?"
Effie faked hard thinking. "Hmmm… Vanilla."
Amabella laughed. "No!"
"Okay, fine. Raspberry."
"No, Mommy!" Amabella giggled, delighted at the little game. "Chocolate!"
Effie laughed at her quick decision. "Again? No, we must choose another flavor. Strawberry, perhaps?"
Amabella shook her head. "Chocolate!"
"Oh, fine, chocolate it shall be," Effie faked annoyance, much to the child's amusement.
She was still laughing when she looked up, so near their apartment building now, and stopped abruptly when she saw someone standing on the steps of the building's entrance. Amabella stopped too, frowning up at Effie.
Haymitch.
He was standing up now, one hand waving weakly at them.
That drew Amabella's attention.
"It's my daddy!" She exclaimed, surprised. "Come on, Mommy!"
With a tug in her hand, Effie followed Amabella to the building's entrance, letting go of her hand once they were right in front of Haymitch and he crouched down to pick Amabella up. Effie watched the scene in surprise — the way he picked her up and gave her a kiss, the way Amabella laughed and hugged him back and waved Wilma in front of him, already chattering away about her day and everything that had happened in the two weeks since they had last seen each other.
"Sorry," Haymitch said, looking at Effie for the first time. "I know it's not proper to show up before calling, but I sort of surprised myself too."
"It's fine," Effie found herself saying, looking at the way Amabella was looking at Haymitch. "Let's go inside, then. I didn't know you knew where we lived."
Effie walked up the steps to the front door as Haymitch followed her, carrying Amabella.
"I didn't. Peeta told me," Haymitch said. "They cleared it with Plutarch and came along. They're staying at a hotel near the beach."
"Oh, that's just lovely. A belated honeymoon, then?" Effie asked, only mildly curious.
"Daddy, I drew you stuff!" Amabella announced as Effie opened the door to the building. "Your house! And, and the village, and the fountain too!"
"So you remembered everything," Haymitch humored her, following Effie inside. "Did you remember the geese?"
Amabella nodded seriously. "I forgot just one because he wouldn't fit the picture, and Mommy said she was more important than the goose and she should be in it too."
Effie threw glance over her shoulder, glaring slightly at Amabella, but the child only had eyes for Haymitch, who was smirking in her direction.
"Yeah? Did you draw your mom with the geese then?"
Effie rolled her eyes, barely paying attention to their chat as she walked to the elevator; Amabella was still clinging to Haymitch's neck and telling him everything she could think of when they left on their floor, and Effie smiled at the little girl, smoothing down her hair softly as she told Haymitch about school and the latest thing she had learned.
It was easy to avoid Haymitch's gaze.
He let Amabella on the floor when Effie opened the apartment's door, and the little girl had already darted away, no doubt to try and find the drawings she had made. Effie took off her coat and smiled tightly at Haymitch, who stood by the doorway, looking uneasy.
Well. Served him right, for turning up uninvited.
"Do come in, Haymitch," she told him softly. "Make yourself at home. Would you like something to drink?"
He shook his head. "No, I'm good. I just left Annie's place."
"I hope Katniss and Peeta will grace us with their presence for a day, at least," she commented, walking towards the living area, which was adjacent to the kitchen, feeling Haymitch's eyes on the back of her head. "It's the least I can do after we stayed there for a week," she added, walking towards the couch and putting Amabella's school bag there, just for now. Her fingers were still a little numb. When she turned, Haymitch was looking around. Effie picked up three crayons from the floor, along with some papers that had been thrown on the coffee table."I'm sorry, it's not exactly tidy. We weren't expecting visitors."
Haymitch smirked. "It's fine. Your house still looks fucking flawless, Princess."
"I wouldn't use that word, but thank you," she cringed. "And language, please. You're lucky she didn't hear you."
It was Haymitch's turn to cringe. "Busted," he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Sorry, I should have called you to let you know I was coming. I just wanted to drop by today, see how you're doing."
Effie nodded. "We're doing fine," she crossed her arms in front of her and cleared her throat. "How long are you staying?"
"Just the weekend," he told her. "The kids were coming anyway and Plutarch thought I'd be enough distraction for the press."
Effie let out a chuckle. "Who's Plutarch trying to fool?" she bent down to adjust a cushion on the sofa, just as the sound of tiny feet reached their ears, and Amabella ran into the living room, holding a drawing and a box.
"Here, Daddy," she said, shoving the box in Haymitch's hands in a not so gentle way that made Effie groan. "I even chose it for you. But Mommy bought it."
Effie sat on the arm of the sofa, watching as Haymitch opened the box and Amabella anxiously waited in front of him, still holding the drawing. She couldn't help but laugh when Haymitch took the pink glass jar out of the box, a very blank expression on his face; she knew for a fact that he hated pink.
"Your swear jar!" Amabella exclaimed, unable to contain herself now.
Haymitch looked conflicted, to say the least, and threw a glare in her direction. Effie only smiled.
"Thanks, munchkin," he said at last. "That's exactly what I wanted."
Amabella didn't mind or notice the sarcastic tone, and Effie only rolled her eyes.
"This is my drawing!" she said, handing him the paper, a little finger pointing at it. "This is me, and you, and Mommy, and all the geese! Except the one that didn't fit."
"This looks… just like my house," Haymitch exaggerated. "Thanks. You should have painted your mom in red, though. She looks great in red."
Amabella frowned. "What's wrong with pink? We love pink."
"Of course you do," Haymitch mumbled. "I'm gonna put this on my fridge so I can look at it every day."
This brought a smile to Amabella's face. "I can make loads more if you want!"
This was the last straw for Effie. "Not now, darling. We were going to the playground, remember? And I didn't forget about the ice cream."
Amabella frowned. "Is my daddy coming with us?"
Effie looked uncertainly at Haymitch. "If he wants to."
"Sure, I'm coming with you," he said, surprisingly quickly. "I like ice cream too."
Amabella quickly took Haymitch's free hand and started guiding him back towards the hall. "Are you gonna pick vanilla, Daddy?"
Haymitch left his presents at the coffee table and let the little girl guide him. "Who even picks vanilla? Of course I ain't picking vanilla."
Effie rolled her eyes. And there were times when her daughter was a baby that she had wondered if Amabella had even taken anything from Haymitch.
How mistaken she was.
Amabella's laughter rang in the air as Effie watched her and Haymitch from the bench — they had had ice cream together, the two of them devouring it very quickly, and now found themselves in the playground near the village by mid afternoon. Effie was still eating her own ice cream — she wasn't very anxious about it and would rather savour it, especially when she didn't necessarily have to play with Amabella today. She was also trying to give them some time — she did not know exactly what for, to know each other, maybe? — so she opted to sit on the bench and watch as Haymitch pushed Amabella on the swing. They had abandoned that and were now drawing on the sand with a stick. Whatever it was that Haymitch had drawn must have been very funny because the little girl was still laughing about it.
She couldn't keep her baby girl from him now even if she wanted to. It was clear how captivated Amabella was by him — the way her eyes twinkled and how she was laughing so freely. Effie herself didn't remember ever laughing like that. She couldn't protect her forever. And maybe… maybe Haymitch would help her. Maybe he had decided to be involved in some way. She'd take it — in any way.
Effie watched as they abandoned the sandbox and Amabella ran towards the slide and climbed up the ladder. Haymitch stood up, meaning to follow her, but his gaze met Effie's, and he waved his hand slightly, a half-smile on his lips. Effie waved back and smiled encouragingly. This was new territory for the both of them.
Amabella sat down on the top of the slide and waited for Haymitch to get there — Effie knew for a fact that the child was always a little afraid of heights. She watched as Haymitch spoke to her, and Amabella clearly wasn't feeling brave enough to go on, until Haymitch offered her his hand and she slid down carefully, her free hand gripping the side of the slide as she went, but smiling when she reached the ground. She hadn't tried the slide from the playground yet, so this was clearly a big accomplishment to her. How a child could love swings but not feel confident on the slide was beyond Effie's comprehension, but she went along with it.
"Did you see me, Mommy?" Amabella yelled from where they were, and that alone was Effie's cue to stand up and go to them. She stopped to throw her now empty ice cream cup into the trash and followed them. The playground was mostly empty, saved for two small children and a mother near the sandbox, but she did not need to make a scene by speaking so loudly.
"I did!" Effie said as she walked the short distance between them, glad to have switched to flat shoes before leaving the apartment. "See? I told you it wasn't so bad."
Amabella nodded. "My daddy helped me!"
Effie tried hard not to laugh — Amabella had been nothing but possessive towards Haymitch. He was never just 'daddy' when she mentioned him; he was always her daddy. And Haymitch was obviously still getting used to it, because she had caught the shocked look on his face at least three times already.
"Do you think you can do it again without help?" Effie asked, reaching for her hands so Amabella could stand up.
"I'll try," she said, filled with courage now, apparently. She turned around to reach the ladder once more.
Effie met Haymitch's gaze. He appeared deep in thought for a moment. "Is everything alright?"
Haymitch nodded. "Yeah. Fine."
"I don't think I can do it," Amabella interrupted them. She was sitting on the top again, looking down with some uneasiness. The slide was tall enough that it reached Effie's ears.
"Come on, I'll help you," Effie offered her hand. Amabella still looked hesitant. Effie watched as her eyes searched for Haymitch. "Mommy can help you, darling."
"Your mom is on that side, and I'm here," Haymitch caught Amabella's free hand. "Think you can slide down with both hands with us and not touch the slide? That's pretty cool."
Amabella pursed her lips, looking from Haymitch to Effie. "Okay."
And she did slide down easily, though the grip on Effie's hand was pretty tight. After two more rounds of that, she announced she would try on her own, and she succeeded much to the enthusiastic applause of Effie — she caught Haymitch looking at her, amused, and when Amabella giggled he actually complimented her on her accomplishment. She did that a few more times before returning to the swing, which was always her favorite.
Since Haymitch was pushing her, Effie decided to sit on the other available seat in the swing, not really moving.
"Don't push her too high, Haymitch," Effie requested, and he complied. "You know, we didn't have playgrounds like this in the Capitol when I was growing up."
"Where did you play, Mommy?" Amabella asked as Haymitch pushed her, her hair flying around in pigtails.
"We had playgrounds, but they were… bigger. There were castles, and some little houses," she elaborated, remembering the few times she went to one. "No swings or slides, I'm afraid. And no sand. My mother would have died if I came home covered in sand like you do all the time."
Amabella laughed. "Were the castles big?"
Effie nodded. "Quite big. But not this fun."
"I had a swing when I was a kid," Haymitch said suddenly, and Effie looked at him in surprise. "It was pretty small. Just a seat tied into a tree branch. It broke after a snowstorm, but it was fun."
"You had a swing in your house?" Amabella asked, clearly in awe.
He smirked. "It wasn't as nice as this one, I assure you."
Effie smiled a little sadly, understanding what he meant. There had hardly been many luxuries in Twelve, and probably very few for Haymitch, who was raised by his single mother after his dad died when he was very young. A swing probably brought him happy memories, however few they might be. And it was not often that Haymitch talked about his childhood. Not for the first time, Effie wondered what he had looked like as a little boy.
"We should get a swing, Mommy, for the terrace!" Amabella suggested.
Effie smiled softly. "We don't have enough room for a swing, darling. I'm sorry."
"Oh," Amabella said, clearly disappointed. Haymitch stopped pushing her.
"I got a backyard," he mentioned, looking at the little girl with attention. "I could talk to Peeta. Maybe we can build one. Can't be too hard, right?"
Amabella looked up at him quickly. "Really, Daddy?"
"I can't promise it, but I'll try. So you can always play when you visit me," he said, only then looking at Effie. "That okay, Sweetheart?"
"Yes, it's okay," she agreed after a moment, a little unsure of what this meant.
She felt a little overwhelmed at how attentive he was being, but reminded herself that this was just the beginning.
She didn't miss Haymitch's smirk as he looked at her.
"You hear Mommy saying she's never played on a swing before?" he asked Amabella, who nodded. "I think we should push her. What do you think?"
The little girl was on her feet immediately. "Yes!"
"Oh, no. No, this is not proper," Effie started, but Amabella was already moving. "I'm too old for this!"
"Let's push her real high," she heard Haymitch saying, and when she looked over her shoulder she saw him standing right behind her. "Take your feet off the ground, Princess."
"Really, Haymitch," she said, but did as she was told. She felt Haymitch holding the ropes that held the seat up. "I'm way past the age for—oh!"
Before she knew it, Haymitch had pulled her seat back and then pushed it forward, and she did go pretty high, for her standards anyway; Amabella was laughing and jumping next to the swing, and Effie laughed at her. It took her about three seconds to decide this was much, much more fun than castles and little houses and tea parties.
"No one's past the age for this," Haymitch smirked. "Think my mom was the most heartbroken of us all when that storm destroyed the swing."
"Higher, Daddy!" Amabella asked, clapping her little hands.
Haymitch actually laughed this time. "Do you want to send your mom flying?"
"Okay, it's enough now. I mean it, Haymitch," Effie warned him softly, and the swing slowly came to a stop. Her own laughter slowly came to a stop as well. "It's getting late; we should get going."
"But I want to go to the slide again!" Amabella quickly complained.
"Go on, then, just for a little bit," Effie warned her, and she was off running in less than two seconds. "Be careful!"
"For someone who was scared of going up the slide she's pretty over it," Haymitch commented.
Effie let out a laugh. "She really is."
She heard his steps coming closer and soon saw him towering behind her, his hands grabbing at the ropes again.
Effie looked up at him. "You helped her with that, I think," she commented. "I'm, um, happy you've accompanied us."
"No problem. She's a good kid," Haymitch said, one of his hands rubbing at his neck.
Effie bit down a smile. "She's so precious," she said, then looked at him again. "Why are you really here, Haymitch?"
He pursed his lips. "I'd like to talk to you, Effie."
That was what she had been hoping for — or fearing, she wasn't quite sure.
"Do you want to come back home with us?" she found herself asking. "Just… for dinner, perhaps. Although that's not until later. She needs her bath, and then she needs to do her homework…"
"Sounds good to me. I can help her with homework," he then cringed. "If I even know what she's learning about."
Effie bit back a smile, though it was good-naturedly; she knew he had stopped going to school when he was sixteen. "She connects dots and learns the alphabet, and other words. I think you can handle it."
"What the hell does she need to connect dots for?" Haymitch asked with a frown.
Effie laughed. "To improve her motor skills. Really, Haymitch, I think you have a lot to learn."
He didn't appear offended, though. His eyes were twinkling.
She always did love his eyes.
"Ow!"
Effie straightened up in her seat, quickly focusing on Amabella, who had fallen on her hands and knees, probably while she tried to run much too fast for her little legs to carry her. Effie was on her feet in a matter of seconds, hoping that this wasn't a very nasty fall, but she hurried to her daughter all the same. When Amabella started crying just a moment later, this proved to be the opposite.
"Here, baby," Effie said as she reached the little girl, crouching down to help her up. She noticed the bruises on her little palms and the scraped skin on her knees. "It was just a scare. Mommy will clean it and kiss it to make it better soon."
"Mommy," Amabella mumbled, tears running down her face.
"I know, I know," Effie said, hugging her softly and kissing her brow. "It was just a scare. Mommy is here. We're going home now."
Amabella sniffed, rubbing at her eye with the back of a scraped hand. She looked up at Haymitch, who looked a little concerned. "Is Daddy going away now?"
"Daddy is coming with us," Effie said firmly. "We'll have dinner together. That's nice, isn't it?"
Amabella nodded. "Can Daddy carry me?"
Effie snorted. "You can still walk, young lady."
"No, it's fine," Haymitch said, offering the child his arms. "C'mere, little Princess."
Amabella reached for him, and soon settled into his arms. Effie ran a hand through her daughter's locks of her and gave her a knowing smile.
"I think someone's probably tired," she commented, meeting Haymitch's questioning gaze. "She gets cranky when she's exhausted. Despite protests, it's always like that," she explained. Haymitch still looked concerned. "She's fine, Haymitch. It was just a fall."
Haymitch groaned something she did not quite catch, and they started the short walk towards their apartament. Amabella was quite content in Haymitch's arms, and Effie was ready to bet her buttons that Haymitch would definitely feel it in his muscles the next day the exercise of carrying a child around, however short the walk was.
—
Effie found Haymitch in the living room, with a picture frame in his hand. She knew that it was a picture of herself and her daughter at the park — taken by Annie. Amabella had been just about six months old.
She had been just fine by the time they had gotten back from the park, as it was — the scraped knees had been completely forgotten by the time Effie had managed to give her a bath. Now clean, Amabella was currently playing in the bathtub, probably managing to soak the entire bathroom; it wasn't something Effie allowed very often, but she figured the little girl could use some playtime in order to let the adults properly talk, even if it was only for a bit.
"Wasn't she the cutest baby?" Effie asked as Haymitch put the picture back to its place. "She drove me crazy. It doesn't look like much, but she was already crawling a little and I couldn't leave her alone for one minute."
Haymitch rolled his eyes. "You love being driven crazy, admit it. You love having to control everything."
"Perhaps," she admitted, crossing her arms. He took the next picture frame in his hand. "That one is from her first birthday. It was just us and Annie and Jo. It wasn't much."
There was almost a smile on Haymitch's face. "Looks fun."
"I'd have loved to have thrown her a big party. Make it an event," Effie commented. "That's how I used to envision my children's birthdays, anyway, when I was younger. But I didn't really know a lot of people in the district and it wasn't like she'd have had a lot of fun in a big party. She was just starting to walk, so I was glad to have Jo and Annie to walk her around."
Haymitch nodded, setting the portrait back.
"This year's birthday should be different," she continued. "She's in preschool now so she'll probably want to invite all her friends. A proper party, I hope."
"I'd like to be there, if I can," Haymitch said quickly, pursing his lips.
Effie was slightly taken aback by the statement.
"Well, yes, of course," she said, "if you want to."
"That's my decision, Effie," he said at last. "I'd like to be involved."
Effie took a step towards him, a frown on her face.
"What are you saying, Haymitch?"
"I'm saying that I wanna be her dad," he told her. "I don't know how to do it, though. It'd be nice if we could do it together. Yeah?"
Effie nodded. "Yes. Yes, sure," she smiled. "I'm very glad to hear this."
They met halfway in a slow, but honest embrace — it didn't mean anything, Effie knew, they were simply… sealing the agreement. She breathed in his scent — so different without the addition of alcohol, but still the same as it used to be — and felt relief flood her veins.
"I mean it, Sweetheart," Haymitch said against her hair. "I'm gonna fuck up eventually, but it won't be because I'm not there."
Effie laughed, and felt tears pick at her eyes. "I think I've been waiting to hear this for years."
He pulled away slightly. "Ain't this the part where you reassure me I won't fuck up?"
She sniffed, and laughed again. "Oh, we'll both do that. That's just what parents do, I suppose."
A lone tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek, but Haymitch caught it — eyes gazing right back at hers, and there was something in them she couldn't decipher.
"You still got that job offer? To Twelve?" he asked.
Effie frowned, confused. "Yes. I mean, I still haven't answered them."
"Well, I…"
"Mommy, I'm done!"
Effie closed her eyes. Amabella always had such great timing.
She looked at Haymitch apologetically.
"Mommy!" Amabella yelled again.
"Not very patient, is she?" Haymitch asked in a low voice.
Effie narrowed her eyes. "I wonder where she gets that from," she pulled away from him. "Just a minute, Bella."
It only took a while to get Amabella dried and dressed in her pyjamas — pink with little ducklings on them, because she thought Daddy would like it — and it led to an eventful evening that consisted on Haymitch helping Amabella with homework, and then receiving a tour of the apartment by the little girl, who wanted to show him her chicken and all her toys. Effie made dinner — she wasn't one to try a lot in the kitchen, but she supposed Haymitch being there for the first time was a special enough occasion.
She made frittata, which in Haymitch's opinion was good but also just a fancy name for an omelette that was supposed to be breakfast food, not dinner — he was teasing, and Effie didn't mind; her glare at him made Amabella laugh, but she forgave him when he commented that breakfast food had always been his favorite.
It was nice to spend time together like this. As a family.
She supposed that was what they were now.
After dinner, it was time for the little girl to go to bed, amid protests; Haymitch offered to tuck her in and, after promising he'd see her tomorrow, she accepted.
She had been organizing the kitchen when she realized half an hour had passed and she heard nothing from Haymitch or Amabella. Thus, she went to check.
Haymitch was sitting on a puffy chair next to Amabella's bed, and the girl was already fast asleep. He had a book on his lap — Effie recognized it as the ballerina princess book, Amabella's current favorite — and he was simply watching her.
Effie felt a little emotional all of sudden.
She leaned against the doorway, crossed her arms, and cleared her throat. The bedroom was already dark, the only source of light coming from the pink lamp in the corner, but to his credit Haymitch only looked up, and did not look surprised to see her.
They had a lot to talk about. Privately.
"Sorry. Lost track of time," Haymitch whispered, standing up.
It was funny, really, how someone as rude as Haymitch could be so soft around his daughter. Not that he was rude all the time, but… He wasn't really the softest of men.
It made Effie smile.
"Did she fall asleep alright?" she asked, stepping into the bedroom and quietly smoothing Amabella's hair from her face. The little girl looked peaceful. She had had a big day.
"Yeah," Haymitch hummed, and Effie left a kiss on Amabella's forehead before stepping away.
She followed Haymitch out of the bedroom, carefully leaving the door partly open, and then she guided him back to the living room. He sat down on the couch, looking suddenly a little out of place amidst the colorful apartment and the toys scattered around the floor. Effie made a quick job of getting them all back inside the toy box — years of practice — and normally she would sit down and read a book or watch some television while drinking a glass of wine, but tonight was different.
"I'd offer you something to drink, but…"
"It's fine," he interrupted her, and she tried hard not to glare. "You can drink, though. Don't stop on my account."
She put the toy box back in its corner. "That's almost civil of you, Haymitch," she teased, and he rolled his eyes. "No, it's okay. Solidarity is important. How long have you been sober for?"
"Four months and a half," he told her. "I'm not gonna relapse, don't worry."
"I'm not worried," Effie said as she took a seat on the couch, not very close to him. "I've always thought that if you put your mind into it you could remain sober. Peeta told me you were sober, during the war."
"Yeah. Not exactly my decision," he let out a humorless laugh. "The plan was to stay sober, though."
Effie pursed her lips. "Why couldn't you?"
"I don't think many plans from before the war applied to what happened afterwards," Haymitch snickered. "No, it, uh… it was hard to cope, inside that mansion. We found you, and Katniss was a mess, and there was booze, so…"
"It was difficult to resist," she concluded, and gave him a pointed look. "I do know a thing or two about you."
Haymitch gave her lopsided grin. "Never doubted you did," he shook his head. "I won't drink again. I go to the doctor, I go to weekly meetings and all that shit. Peeta insisted," he shrugged. "Guess it helps, 'cause I haven't relapsed yet."
Effie watched him curiously. "Well, I'm glad you're getting the right treatment. It wouldn't have been good for you to just stop drinking altogether."
His eyes met hers. The grin was back on his face. "You're dying to ask, aren't you?"
Effie squirmed a little in her seat, and refused to meet his gaze. "Well, I would never," she said, arching her eyebrows to herself and examining her nails — today they were a pretty shade of blue. Thank heavens she could still paint her nails however she wished. "Unless you want to talk about it."
Haymitch snorted, and draped his arm across the back of the couch, close to her own shoulder.
"It's fine, Sweetheart," he said after a moment, and since he didn't sound sarcastic she looked up. They shared a smile. "It was bound to happen, really. Don't know why it never did. The boy woke me up one day. I had the knife. There was a lot of blood, and Peeta snapped."
"You hurt Peeta?" Effie gasped, eyes wide.
"No, not Peeta. Me," he pointed at his own chest. "Wasn't much, but it got a bit out of control, he tried to help me, never mind how it got to that, but I ended up cutting myself. The problem was the whole thing, the blood and the boy… he was out of himself for hours. Even Katniss couldn't help at first."
"So you decided to stop drinking then," she said.
Haymitch nodded. "Yeah, more or less. The girl was pretty vocal about how it was my fault and, well, at least this time I did it the right way. Thirteen was terrible, let me tell you."
Effie pursed her lips, but nodded sympathetically. "I'm sure it was."
They were silent for a moment.
"I should probably…"
"What did you…"
They stopped speaking. Effie looked at him expectantly. Haymitch spoke first — it wasn't like he was a gentleman.
"I was gonna say I should go. It's getting late and I don't exactly have a key to Annie's house."
Effie blinked.
"What did you want to know when you asked about my job offer?"
Haymitch appeared anxious. He pursed her lips.
Effie didn't have time to prepare for his question.
"Would you move to Twelve?"
She hesitated.
"I wanted to ask you, so many times before," he ran his fingers through his hair. "I never did. I'm asking now, Effie."
She opened her mouth, and closed. She thought about it. She knew her answer.
"If… If that's the best for Amabella," she replied, not really looking at him. "You know I would, it would be good for her if…"
"I'm not asking for her, Effie. Or, at least, not just for her," he corrected himself. "I'm asking you. And I don't mean so you can come and get a house so the kid can have a kitten and more chickens. I… I mean, I already have a house. We can get the kitten."
Effie arched her eyebrows. "Are you asking me to move in with you?"
"No, I'm asking the two of you to live with me."
Effie blinked, completely taken aback now.
"I… Well… We would need to redecorate," she mentioned dumbly. "Amabella should get one of the suites. She will want it pink," she warned him.
Haymitch raised his palms up. "Fine by me."
"We'll need to talk about the kitten, though," she added. "That is something I'm still not confident about, because you know she won't take care of it, she just wants to play."
"That's a yes, then?"
"To the kitten? I just told you it's most likely a no."
"To moving in with me, Effie."
She sighed. "I did tell you I'd have said yes if you had asked," she gave him a look. "That hasn't changed."
He kissed her before she could realize what was happening.
It took her a moment to kiss him back.
It felt like it had been years, decades since they had kissed, even — she smiled against his lips and encircled her arms around his neck, bringing him closer. His hands were at her waist and it felt like they belong there, like they should have never left her body to begin with.
It wasn't enough to make her brain stop, though.
"Haymitch… Haymitch," she said, breaking the kiss. His hair was already in complete disarray. Had she done that? "We should go slow. I want this transition to go as smoothly as possible for Bella."
"Yeah, of course. She comes first," he quickly agreed, moving to kiss her jaw. His beard felt rough against her skin, but in a good way.
"She does. Always," Effie agreed. She ran her fingers through his hair. "We shouldn't. We're parents now."
Haymitch chuckled against her throat, and Effie shivered. "Pretty sure this is how we became parents, Sweetheart."
"It's not about that," Effie pursed her lips. "We can't really have what we had before, Haymitch. There are enough strings attached without us having sex."
"Exactly," Haymitch said, pulling away. "Come on, Effie. Stop pretending we won't happen again because you know we will. We always do," he said quietly. The worst was that he did have a point. "It's time we did something about it."
She looked at him, trying to control her breathing. Amabella didn't deserve to be dragged into this mess that they were. Living together would be enough of a change for her.
"Look," Haymitch let out a breath. "I'll go. We don't have to… You can have your own house in Twelve if you want to. It's not a big deal."
He didn't sound as secure as he did before.
Effie raised her hands to smooth his shirt softly around the shoulders.
"Isn't it a big deal?" she eyed him slowly. He leaned forward, kissing her neck softly, moving to her ear. "I… We should do something about it, I agree. But not here, Haymitch."
He sighed dejectedly, and rested his head against her shoulder.
"Fine, I'm leaving."
Effie giggled, as quietly as she could. "No, I mean, stay. But we can't have sex on the couch with our daughter right down the hall," she kissed his neck slowly, her tongue touching his pulse point ever so slightly. She knew he loved that. "Let's go to bed."
She let go of him and offered her hand — he took it. It wasn't long before he was pressed against her back and they were walking slowly to her bedroom. When she closed the door, he backed her up against it — how many times had they done that in the past? — but only enough for her to turn the key and successfully lock themselves inside. They couldn't risk an interruption.
It was only much later that Effie unlocked the door again — when she was leaving the bathroom, wrapped in a silky robe, and Haymitch was snoring on her bed, only in his boxers. This time, when she looked at herself in the mirror, she didn't regret it.
She smiled.
A/N: Only one chapter left! I gotta say I rewrote this one like three times before considering it done. Not sure I love it, but I hope you guys liked it! Let me know!
Next chapter: we jump a few months into the future and see what's going on with the Trinket-Abernathy family :)
